Bomb Iraq Song

[patnray]

A friend sent me the first 4 verses of the following. My stepson and I added the last three verses. I'm sure the wits in these forums can add some more, and I eagerly await your contributions...

Sing to the tune of "If you're happy and you know it"

If we cannot find Osama, Bomb Iraq
If the markets hurt your Mama, Bomb Iraq
If the terrorists are Saudi
And the bank took back your Audi
And the TV shows are bawdy, Bomb Iraq.

If the corporate scandals growin', Bomb Iraq
And your ties to them are showin', Bomb Iraq
If the smoking gun ain't smokin'
We don't care, and we're not jokin'
That Saddam will soon be croakin', Bomb Iraq.

Even if we have no allies, Bomb Iraq
From the sand dunes to the valleys, Bomb Iraq
So to hell with the inspections
Let's look tough for the elections
Close your mind and take directions, Bomb Iraq.

Here's one for dear old daddy Bush, Bomb Iraq
From his favorite little laddy, Bomb Iraq
Saying no would look like treason
It's the Hussein hunting season
Even if we have no reason, Bomb Iraq.

Anti-missile tests keep failing, Bomb Iraq
And the deficit is sailing, Bomb Iraq
“I’m too weak,” you have been wailing,
“To protect without curtailing
Basic freedoms. Need more jailing!” Bomb Iraq!

Get the troops a' moving, Bomb Iraq
Poli-tricksters need more proving, Bomb Iraq
They don't send their own kids over
Now march to death, just follow orders
Need some gas for my Land Rover, Bomb Iraq.

Now there are those like John Ashcroft. Bomb Iraq.
Who think objectors are just soft. Bomb Iraq.
They say we’re un-American
Who criticize our leader’s plan
To pulverize our fellow man. Bomb Iraq.

[Frank Newgent]

Originally posted by patnray

If we cannot find Osama, Bomb Iraq
If the markets hurt your Mama, Bomb Iraq
If the terrorists are Saudi
And the bank took back your Audi
And the TV shows are bawdy, Bomb Iraq.

If the corporate scandals growin', Bomb Iraq
And your ties to them are showin', Bomb Iraq
If the smoking gun ain't smokin'
We don't care, and we're not jokin'
That Saddam will soon be croakin', Bomb Iraq.

Even if we have no allies, Bomb Iraq
From the sand dunes to the valleys, Bomb Iraq
So to hell with the inspections
Let's look tough for the elections
Close your mind and take directions, Bomb Iraq.

Here's one for dear old daddy Bush, Bomb Iraq
From his favorite little laddy, Bomb Iraq
Saying no would look like treason
It's the Hussein hunting season
Even if we have no reason, Bomb Iraq.

Anti-missile tests keep failing, Bomb Iraq
And the deficit is sailing, Bomb Iraq
“I’m too weak,” you have been wailing,
“To protect without curtailing
Basic freedoms. Need more jailing!” Bomb Iraq!

Get the troops a' moving, Bomb Iraq
Poli-tricksters need more proving, Bomb Iraq
They don't send their own kids over
Now march to death, just follow orders
Need some gas for my Land Rover, Bomb Iraq.

Now there are those like John Ashcroft. Bomb Iraq.
Who think objectors are just soft. Bomb Iraq.
They say we’re un-American
Who criticize our leader’s plan
To pulverize our fellow man. Bomb Iraq.

We'll take Iran and maybe Syria. Bomb Iraq.
That's the plan; France we don't need ya. Bomb Iraq.
Our troops, they need some trainin'
For a North Korea invasion
Just because we are amazing. Bomb Iraq.

[Frank Newgent]

We have lots of Dexedrine now. Bomb Iraq.
Mix it up with MiG-19's, wow. Bomb Iraq.
Eleven empty warheads
Made in Baghdad or New Orleans?
Two hundred thousand orphans. Bomb Iraq.

[Roadtoad]

Can I copy this one to send to my son who's off to the war?

[patnray]

Sure. It would be nice if you added a verse of your own...

[Frank Newgent]

Just a month to go, Stan. Bomb Iraq.
How we'll watch it on Fox News, man. Bomb Iraq.
O'Reilly's drinking bourbon with Tareq Aziz
Hussein is in my bathroom. Didn't he used to be in Jordan?
God damn it. Where's the popcorn? Bomb Iraq.

[shanek]

Bush says, "Let's get our dues and bomb Iraq
"It'll get me in the news, so bomb Iraq
"While innocents I'm jailin'
"And the Anthrax is a-mailin'
"My approval rating's sailin', bomb Iraq!"

[Dazza]

Tony Blair will help you do it - Bomb Iraq!
And together we’ll go through it - Bomb Iraq!
When the friendly fire is falling,
Will our losses be appalling?
Never mind, cos George is calling - Bomb Iraq!

[Victor Danilchenko]

All the liberals are pansies, bomb Iraq!
We'll do whatever takes our fancy, bomb Iraq!
We will lead the world to freedom,
With our values we will feed'em,
They will follow, or we'll kill'em! Bomb Iraq!

[patnray]

LOL. These are all great. Thanks.

[Watcher]

Originally posted by patnray
Here's one for dear old daddy Bush, Bomb Iraq
From his favorite little laddy, Bomb Iraq
Saying no would look like treason
It's the Hussein hunting season
Even if we have no reason, Bomb Iraq.

One minor complaint: the word "Bush" needs to be removed from the first line, to fit the rythm and rhyme.

Also, I've seen the first four verses on another forum, but there was a fifth verse there. It was the second last. Here goes:

While the globe is slowly warming, bomb Iraq.
Yay! the clouds of war are storming, bomb Iraq.
If the ozone hole is growing,
Some things we prefer not knowing.
(Though our ignorance is showing), bomb Iraq.

[DanishDynamite]

Saddam is a mega-threat so Bomb Iraq!
George and Tony have agreed it is a fact.
Though the evidence is lacking
It won't stop them from attacking
Nevermind the people's backing, Bomb Iraq!

[patnray]

Seems that, daily, folks are dyin’. Bomb Iraq.
"Be a leader," we are cryin’. You Reply,
“It won’t help the situation,
But I’m off to build a nation.
We won’t heed your protestation. Bomb Iraq.”

[patnray]

Watcher, you are right, it's awkward. THis is better:

Here is one for dear old daddy, bomb Iraq...

[Brooklyn Dodger]

I like Tom Lehrer's "So Long Mom, I'm Off To Drop The Bomb" better.

[Ian Osborne]

Now we've found warheads a-plenty, bomb Iraq,
Even though they were all empty, bomb Iraq,
And we really do not care
If chemicals were ever there
Let's all follow Bush and Blair and bomb Iraq...

[Frank Newgent]

GE. We bring good things to living. Bomb Iraq.
The Lord, He works in mysterious ways, too. Bomb Iraq.
A suction-cup Saddam in Air Force One.
Where in hell is Major Kong?
John Lee Malvo in an ad for: "got napalm?" Bomb Iraq.

[Frank Newgent]

Assume you've all been watching. Bomb Iraq
No one cares what you think. Hope you all approve. Bomb Iraq
Everyone just wants to dance
With their hands on Jesus' pants
Aunt Martha rants: "Sniper! Run? You'll just die pieplant. Bomb Iraq."

[shanek]

No matter what the proof is, bomb Iraq!
I don't want to seem a doofus, bomb Iraq!
And I really do not care
If WMDs are even there
I'll hitch up with Tony Blair and bomb Iraq!

[corplinx]

Saddam's a terrorist, bomb saddam
Saddam is making bombs, bomb Saddam
the best course you'll all agree
is to prevent world war three
if you have a brain and a heart, bomb Saddam

[Ian Osborne]

Though this war will cost us millions, bomb Iraq,
And we're still killing civilians, bomb Iraq,
They put their captives on full view
Which is wrong for them to do
But let's forget we did it too and bomb Iraq!

[armageddonman]

Originally posted by Ian Osborne
Though this war will cost us millions, bomb Iraq,
And we're still killing civilians, bomb Iraq,
They put their captives on full view
Which is wrong for them to do
But let's forget we did it too and bomb Iraq!

Make that "billions". :)

[fidiot]

Because we're the world police now, bomb Iraq!
Without us there'd be no peace here, bomb Iraq!
Hear those peace protesters shouting,
Is that casualties they're counting?
Well fox news won't be reporting, bomb Iraq!

[Denise]

My daughter came home with some songs from school that they made up after 911.

Row, row, row your boat,
gently down the stream,
throw Bin Laden overboard,
and listen to him scream.

There was another one to a popular tune that I can't quite remember. I think it was sung to the tune of Joy to the World.

Something like Joy to the World Bin Ladens dead, we chopped off his head, what happened to his body we flushed it down the potty. De de de de de dee. And so on.

I am not kidding.

[Reginald]

I run the regime in Iraq, I am Saddam,
I gas people for a laugh, I am Saddam,
If you disagree the most,
Then your familly is toast,
I'll nail their tongues onto a post, I am Saddam.

[rikzilla]

Originally posted by Reginald
I run the regime in Iraq, I am Saddam,
I gas people for a laugh, I am Saddam,
If you disagree the most,
Then your familly is toast,
I'll nail their tongues onto a post, I am Saddam.

Good one Reg!

I lived in a shining palace, I am Saddam,
My people view me with malice, I am Saddam,
When my tyrant days are through,
The people will all say "Woo-Hoo"!,
While my body is on view, I was Saddam!
:D

[Ian Osborne]

Anyone noticed how the weakest poetry inevitably comes from the pro-war possé? Oh well...

Iraqi weapons are all broke, bomb Iraq,
It's becoming a bad joke, bomb Iraq,
But to really take the pee
We'll just send in Richard G
He's got lots of guns you see, bomb Iraq.

[shanek]

Bush says they are a threat, so bomb Iraq
WMDs are a good bet, so bomb Iraq
And if he doesn't find 'em
We'll all still be right behind 'im
Bush's lies, we just don't mind 'em—bomb Iraq!

[patnray]

When the towers were imploding, Bomb Iraq
When the missiles were exploding, Bomb Iraq
There were people who were cheering,
For they found it quite appealing.
And now both sides are reloading, Bomb Iraq.

[fidiot]

Originally posted by Ian Osborne
Anyone noticed how the weakest poetry inevitably comes from the pro-war possé? Oh well...

Just to clarify, I'm anti-war :D
Of course, that does not mean my poetry is good ;)

[corplinx]

At least the pro-war people understand that Saddam and his regime and not generically "Iraq" is the target.

[shanek]

Originally posted by corplinx
At least the pro-war people understand that Saddam and his regime and not generically "Iraq" is the target.

"Saddam and his regime" comprise the government of Iraq, and wars are fought among governments. Hence, we are at war with Iraq, and any claim to the contrary is just newspeak.

[patnray]

We all know who the target is. Shanek is right, "Iraq" stands for the government as well as the country. And it fits the rhyme...

When a 2000 pound bomb hits, no matter how close it is to the target, it causes damage for several blocks...

JDAMs have a claimed accuracy expressed as "50% hit within 40 feet of the target". That means 50% hit more than 40 feet from the target...

[corplinx]

Originally posted by shanek

and any claim to the contrary is just newspeak.

Shanek, I would have thought using 1984 references was beneath you.

[shanek]

Originally posted by corplinx


Shanek, I would have thought using 1984 references was beneath you.

Not when they're perfectly appropriate.

[Frank Newgent]

I'm so glad it started. Bomb Iraq
Can't let Baghdad ruin the NASDAQ. Bomb Iraq
Dad moved down to Florida
Now we got the Third World War
Quoth Lockheed Martin®: "Evermore". Bomb Iraq.

[PygmyPlaidGiraffe]

Originally posted by patnray
We all know who the target is. Shanek is right, "Iraq" stands for the government as well as the country. And it fits the rhyme...

When a 2000 pound bomb hits, no matter how close it is to the target, it causes damage for several blocks...

JDAMs have a claimed accuracy expressed as "50% hit within 40 feet of the target". That means 50% hit more than 40 feet from the target...

No, No, No, those are Precision Guided Missiles! They only hit what they are programmed to target!.... thats why the US military only needs 200,000 of them.... um... er....

My point is that there are only 200,000 possible places Saddam and his high ranking subordinates could be. They are programmed to target the butt holes of these evil-doers. They only explode once they are jammed up real good and past the evil sphincters to reduce collateral damage. (the bombs are programmed to detect pure unadultered eeeevil in the colon)

Do I come across as naive or am I just being facetious?

PPG

[schplurg]

Saddam is an @sshole, bomb Iraq!
Why's this such a hassle? Bomb Iraq!
You defend him, this is true
But he'd love to kill you too
Such an infidel are you! Bomb Iraq!

If the UN had some balls they'd bomb Iraq!
Resolutions? Broke them all! Bomb Iraq!
If you think Bush is a hater
You should live with a dictator
Shoot you now, ask questions later, bomb Iraq!

So you think it is too harsh to bomb Iraq?
That instead we should be kissing Saddam's crack?
Purse your lips, prepare to blow,
and if you can stoop that low,
Kiss his ass while you all go live in Iraq!

Some of my finest work, I dare say!


Disclaimer: You do not have permission to use these statements against me in any other thread! :)

[shanek]

Originally posted by schplurg
Some of my finest work, I dare say!

Probably the best verses from the pro-war side! Nice job!

[rikzilla]

Originally posted by schplurg
Saddam is an @sshole, bomb Iraq!
Why's this such a hassle? Bomb Iraq!
You defend him, this is true
But he'd love to kill you too
Such an infidel are you! Bomb Iraq!

If the UN had some balls they'd bomb Iraq!
Resolutions? Broke them all! Bomb Iraq!
If you think Bush is a hater
You should live with a dictator
Shoot you now, ask questions later, bomb Iraq!

So you think it is too harsh to bomb Iraq?
That instead we should be kissing Saddam's crack?
Purse your lips, prepare to blow,
and if you can stoop that low,
Kiss his ass while you all go live in Iraq!

Some of my finest work, I dare say!


Disclaimer: You do not have permission to use these statements against me in any other thread! :)

:D :D :D :D :D
You rock!

It beats the original version.... :rolleyes:

[schplurg]

Thank you thank you! I'd like to thank the academy....

at least I'm good for something around here! ;) I agree the pro-war side needed some help. I stand by my disclaimer though!

[E.J.Armstrong]

They've got something sticky, smelly and black
That in the west we'll soon begin to lack.
Thankfully, no matter what we do,
With MOAB's or daisy cutters too
The oil'll be safe for me and you - so bomb Iraq

[Frank Newgent]

The Dorkayeen have spoken. Bomb Iraq
Everything is broken. Bomb Iraq
Inadvertently escalating the situation
Call in airstrikes on Peru, Spain, West Artesian Flue, Wisconsin
Cocaine or phenomenally a lesion? Bomb Iraq

[iMoc]

We won the polls with propaganda, bomb Iraq
Even skeptics are applauding, bomb Iraq
If we find nothing on Saddam,
We'll still tell you that he had 'em
Yes, we really are are madmen, bomb Iraq

We know nothing 'bout the world, bomb Iraq.
Coz we spent our college years just smoking crack,
We can't see the consequences,
Like spending money on defences,
While our schools can't buy their pencils, bomb Iraq.

[shanek]

Originally posted by iMoc
We know nothing 'bout the world, bomb Iraq.
Coz we spent our college years just smoking crack,
We can't see the consequences,
Like spending money on defences,
While our schools can't buy their pencils, bomb Iraq.

Lol! Reminds me of that Oingo Boingo song written about Gulf War I:

"Don't you know we got smart bombs, it's a good thing that our bombs are clever
It's a shame that our kids are dumb, but our bombs are smart, what a lucky thing now"

[FireGarden]

We love you, don't you know it? Bomb Iraq
We want to bring you freedom. Bomb Iraq
Saddam got voted in
'Cause we liked his roguish grin
But our puppet cut his strings so bomb Iraq

We paid him to fight wars and bomb Iran
Gave weapons to the Shia to bomb Iraq
We posed them all a riddle
And played both sides like a fiddle
Then Kuwait got in the middle - Bomb Iraq!
Originally posted by Victor Danilchenko
All the liberals are pansies, bomb Iraq!
We'll do whatever takes our fancy, bomb Iraq!
We will lead the world to freedom,
With our values we will feed'em,
They will follow, or we'll kill'em! Bomb Iraq!
Afraid of chemical weapons. Bomb Iraq.
The lies all fuel your terror. Bomb Iraq
You're losing all you freedom
'Cause you fear controls your reason
And they'll jail you for no treason. Bomb Iraq.


"They that can give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
--Benjamin Franklin