Religious billboards

[Sundog]

They crack me up.

I have rarely seen one that actually tried to convince me that I should go to church. All I've ever seen are the kind with huge letters and a message something like

HAVE YOU DECLARED JESUS AS YOUR LORD AND SAVIOUR?

Uhhh, no. Why do you ask?

I don't think they're actually trying to convert anyone at all. They just want to push their beliefs in your face.

The best one I saw lately though was one warning President Bush not to abandon support for Israel, promising consequences of Biblical proportions - literally.

Seen any good ones?

[Brown]

I saw one that was up for only a day before it was taken down. It was an anti-abortion sign that tried to push as many religious and emotional buttons as it could. It included a picture of a sweet, wide-eyed baby.

Someone had written on the sign with spray paint, underneath the picture of the baby: "Please don't abort me! I'M WHITE!!"

[Keneke]

SATURDAY IS THE SABBATH. SUNDAY LAWS ARE THE MARK OF SATAN! For more information, call 1-800-xxxxxxx.


For real. All over Huntsville.

[elliotfc]

Originally posted by Brown
I saw one that was up for only a day before it was taken down. It was an anti-abortion sign that tried to push as many religious and emotional buttons as it could. It included a picture of a sweet, wide-eyed baby.

Someone had written on the sign with spray paint, underneath the picture of the baby: "Please don't abort me! I'M WHITE!!"

Silly thing to say, if the baby is already born.

The important thing is to say something asinine.

-Elliot

[Upchurch]

Not to imaginative, but there is a couple around here that simply say "JESUS".

Whenever I'm driving in the car with my wife and I see one of those, I say (rather loudly) "JESUS" and it freaks her out until she realizes what I'm doing. I usually become a victim of spousal abuse at that point.

[Agammamon]

HAVE YOU DECLARED JESUS AS YOUR LORD AND SAVIOUR?


No, why? Is there some sort of tax break, like with dependents?

[evildave]

Actually, I usually substitute in words.

Usually, "Nobody" fits where Jesus goes.

HAVE YOU DECLARED "Nobody" AS YOUR LORD AND SAVIOUR?

"Nobody" is your savior.

"Nobody" loves you.

Aww. :)

[Jas]

The only one I can remember is a few years ago back in Winnipeg, they had signs with "Take my hand, Not my life", and the pic was of a baby's had reaching out to a very old person's hand. Very touching. There was a bunch of euthanasia debate in the news at that time. They didn't last very long. Probably the most vandalized posters in the city.

[Tony]

On I-45 North I saw a billboard that said: "Islam, Relgion of the Future".

[Silicon]

"Most people want to speak to God, but many just as advisors."


Somehow that meant enough to my stepfather to quote it to me, not during a religious discussion. I'm smart enough not to get into religious discussions with people I love who are fundamentalists.

Yeah, church signs are mostly preaching to the choir, as I guess all religion is. Nobody's offering any arguments that I can see, as to why people should have religion, except the ones that require that you already believe in order to buy the argument.

I wouldn't mind a "personal betterment" argument in religion. Sadly, that seems to be missing, and replaced with strict obedience to old mythological rules. Is it me, or is religion getting more extreme?

[Funkenstien]

JESUS... IT'S WHAT'S FOR DINNER.

"I'M BIGGER THAN JOHN LENNON" - J.C.

These were painted on a wall near my house. They made me smile.

[Riddick]

Originally posted by Keneke
SATURDAY IS THE SABBATH. SUNDAY LAWS ARE THE MARK OF SATAN! For more information, call 1-800-xxxxxxx.

For real. All over Huntsville.
Fighting under the insignia of the cross, Constantine defeated his last rival to become the emperor of Rome in 324 and, having unified the empire politically, he moved swiftly to do the same ecclesiastically. He convened the Council of Nicaea, where at least 250 bishops met to formulate the official articles of faith, including Jesus's place in the Holy Trinity, in the first Nicene Creed. (Those bishops who disagreed with the creed were promptly exiled.) Under his regime, Sunday became the Christian Sabbath.... - U.S. News & World Report; 08 March 2004 ed.
Remember the Sabbath Day, to keep it holy - Exodus 20:8
For real. All over the world.

I think of the billboards as a "Last Call" at the bar. A reminder of what's coming. We don't want the fun to end, but it will...and the lights will come on and a lot of people will say it really sucks.

Bah! Why did you wake me out of my grave? I was resting there nice and dead and you had to come along and wake me up. Then, reality hits home. And you're staring at the second life just as a proctologist examines someones bunghole. The stinky truth is before you with open arms (legs?). It will not be pleasant for some of you.

edit: to add source

[Yahweh]

Originally posted by Riddick
Bah! Why did you wake me out of my grave? I was resting there nice and dead and you had to come along and wake me up. Then, reality hits home. And you're staring at the second life just as a proctologist examines someones bunghole. The stinky truth is before you with open arms (legs?). It will not be pleasant for some of you.
You're misinterpretation of Christianity has made you quite the optimist...

[Riddick]

there is a division of thought in the school of christianity.

one school believes you go immediately to heaven or hell on death.

the other school thinks you go into a "sleep" at death --- to be awakened by christ when he returns.

[evildave]

Originally posted by Riddick
there is a division of thought in the school of christianity.

one school believes you go immediately to heaven or hell on death.

the other school thinks you go into a "sleep" at death --- to be awakened by christ when he returns.

ONLY ONE??? My, what a sheltered life you live.

I can't take any particular Christian's word on what it takes to be "saved" too seriously. Christian opinions differ. Not on little things.

Some believe you go straight to heaven (or hell). Others believe you wait... and still others believe in that "beam me up nekked" rapture thing is the only way to be "saved".

What are the requirements for being "saved"?

Some believe "once saved, always saved". You get "saved", and it doesn't matter if you go to a maternity ward and douse newborn babies in gasoline and light them on fire. In fact, you'd be guaranteeing those babies go to heaven!

Others believe those babies you murdered will go to hell, since they never got a chance to "let Jesus into their hearts".

Others believe you have to actually be good, too. Being "good" varies from simple definitions to a lot of rigorous stuff, like showing up for church every single weekend and on holidays, and tithing at least a certain percentage of your income, and going out knocking on people's doors, all the way to what color pants are appropriate to be 'raptured' in.

Do you need your head dunked in water (i.e. 'baptised')? Some believe so, others not. Some believe you have to be 'born again'. (Being baptised as a baby isn't enough - you need to be baptised again.)

Still other Christians deny their brother Christians are even Christian at all. Lots of web sites dedicated to Catholics not being Christian. Some even believe that all other religions but theirs are "demon led".

I think the folks at http://www.religioustolerance.org/ have a fine quote:


Differences among Christian faith groups are so great that some observers have suggested that a useful way of classifying Christian groups is to view them as a number of separate religions with different beliefs and practices, who share:

1. The name "Christianity,"
2. The text of the Bible, and
3. Not a great deal else.


Of course, even #2 is defective, in that there are lots of "bible" versions, some have chopped the Old Testament portion of the book out, and others still don't put much stock in the book. So maybe "2. Some misquoted bits of text here and there from the bible that suit them"?

Here's a lovely table comparing conservative Christian and Catholic positions.
http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_capr.htm

And another happy chart comparing other christian faiths line by line with things important to catholicism.
http://www.saintaquinas.com/christian_comparison.html

And another table.
http://www.wamware.com/world-religions/comparative/

And yet another table.
http://wri.leaderu.com/wri-table2/salvation.html

And these folks cooked their table into quizzes...
http://www.beliefnet.com/

[Checkmite]

Although the "program" seems to be over, I often had a chuckle at a series of religious billboards with "quotes" from God. One of them said, "Keep using my name in vain and I'll make your rush hour longer." :D

[Oleron]

"Seven days without prayer makes one week."

"No fire escape in hell."

"Eternity where?"

[varwoche]

Originally posted by Sundog
The best one I saw lately though was one warning President Bush not to abandon support for Israel, promising consequences of Biblical proportions - literally.

The pathetic part is that Bush et al may well be heeding such admonitions.

[varwoche]

Not a billboard, but I remember the local dial-a-prayer, which as teens we dialed on a regular basis, always ending with "May the lord bless you really good".

[Upchurch]

Originally posted by Agammamon
HAVE YOU DECLARED JESUS AS YOUR LORD AND SAVIOUR? No, let me get right on that:

var JESUS = 'LORD' + 'SAVIOUR';

Whew.

[headscratcher4]

My favorite graffitti directed at a church....there is a stretch of I-95 South (going toward Northern Virginia) near Bethesda, MD (just outside DC), where you can see the Washington area's main Mormon Temple...a big, white marble castle-fortress like monstrosity. When I first moved to the area, on an overpass near the temple (you could see the temple looming just above the overpass) were painted the words "Free Dorthy"

Loved it! :D

[calladus]

Highway 99, in California between Bakersfield and Sacramento are quite a lot of these signs - of various flavors.

- Abortion stops a beating heart
- Something about how abortion is dangerous to the mother. (don't recall what, exactly)
- God's Billboards (Ready or Not, here I come! - God)
- Paintings of the Virgin Mary or the Virgin of Guadalupe
- large chunks of cardboard with raggedly ripped corners and blood red lettering sloppily painted on and nailed to telephone poles that say, "Jesus is coming!" "God Hates sinners!"

I really should take a digital camera on a road trip some time.

[evildave]

Originally posted by Upchurch
No, let me get right on that:

var JESUS = 'LORD' + 'SAVIOUR';

Whew.

#include < stdio.h >
#define LORD 0x01
#define SAVIOR 0x02
#define JESUS (LORD & SAVIOR)

int main(void)
{
printf( "Jesus = %d\n", JESUS );
return 0;
}

Output:
Jesus = 0

Hmm... didn't amount to much.

[Riddick]

write it in assembler, then you'll have my respect.

[Upchurch]

Originally posted by evildave

Hmm... didn't amount to much. Yeah, but at least you've done it. So, now what?

[Jas]

There seems to be a lot more of that in the states. I don't see much religious craziness here.

Granted, it does make driving down there a lot more fun.

It seems to me that the religious people that make me most want to emulate them (ie. certain buddhists, quakers, etc), have no advertisement save for their actions. Makes me wonder why the Xian fundies must resort to billboards.

[evildave]

Originally posted by Riddick
write it in assembler, then you'll have my respect.

Pardon the syntax: it's been a very, very long time since I've bothered with more than trivial inline assembly. Generally, NOT using C (or an even higher-level language) for this sort of thing is a fool's game.

LORD equ 0x01
SAVIOR equ 0x02
JESUS equ (LORD & SAVIOR)

; Jesus = 0
_JStr:
db 13,10,"Jesus = "
_nStr:
db '0',13,10,0

_main:
; Add value of 'JESUS' to numeric zero in string
add [_nStr], JESUS
; Ask DOS to print it
mov ah, 9
mov dx,offset _JStr
int 21h
ret

[calladus]

Originally posted by Riddick
write it in assembler, then you'll have my respect.

Well, you didn't specify CISC or RISC. I prefer RISC. I'll use the Microchip PIC as my processor.

Lets see:
JESUS.ASM (http://calladus.tripod.com/jesus.txt)

Hmmm
Somethings wrong with it
It keeps telling me that I'm going to hell.

Maybe it's because I re-used old code to suite my purpose - but I figured Jesus wouldn't mind since Christianity has done something similar.

:D

[WildCat]

I just want to know who's writing "Trust Jesus" on all the bridges on interstates in this country. Did Jesus support vandalism?

[evildave]

Irony: Would you trust a bridge design that was based on "biblical authority"?


Anyway, as you can see, assembly code can turn the most trivial of one-off tools into a major project.

For instance, in a command shell, you might just write a script/batch to do something as trivial as echoing some text.

echo Jesus hates you.

Of course, for obfuscation purposes, there's nothing like the hundreds of lines of code with misleading comments along with the idiosyncratic syntax that even trivial assembly code can offer.

There are perfectly good back-ends to gcc for most microcontrollers, and techniques for using C (even C++) that will allow embedding more maintainable code, that while not *quite* as fast and/or small as native ASM and hand-tuning could possibly make something, will do an adequate job. Especially considering the extra investment in time and lack of portability of ASM code.

ASM: What, you wanted to use a different controller? OK, we just need to rewrite all the libraries and code from scratch just to get started... and oh yeah, this one's assembler uses a different syntax....

C: Let's just change the bits of code that manipulated registers and touch up incompatible library and application behaviors.

As a matter of fact, for PC development, almost every time I have encountered non-trivial ASM code with a problem, I've rewritten a better version in C to replace it, and it was faster, and smaller. The problem is that people will turn to assembly like it's a magical wand instead of composing (or looking up) a better algorithm. I've literally seen bubble sorts written in (no, obfuscated with) assembly code that I've replaced with the standard C runtime qsort for enormous improvements in performance.

In short, I'm not impressed by ASM code. Rarely have I encountered GOOD ASM code. Usually I encounter bad code design with even worse ASM code, like stripes painted down the side of a Geo Metro to make it "look faster". In one case, there was an INSTALL program written entirely in assembly code. Presumably so it could wait for all of that disk I/O as fast as possible. You don't want to wait a whole microsecond when it could've begun the next read (with built-in 90ms seek) in HALF a microsecond!

Generally, if I am to resort to assembly (incredibly rare, for brute-force, frequently called things that have an absolute need for every available clock) I write the C version first, and KEEP IT, #ifdef'd out. Then I write inline asm code in the affirmative half of an #ifdef directive, in the same function body. It does the job, helps document the intended function, keeps the interface clear (and allows the compiler to generate appropriate calling/return glue for me), and leaves the path to porting the code to another platform clear and easy. It also provides a nice prototype to write the ASM based on, and a handy way to play "what if" when I suspect there's a bug.

[calladus]

Originally posted by evildave

In short, I'm not impressed by ASM code. Rarely have I encountered GOOD ASM code.

Agreed. My own code included.

It is just too difficult to write 300 lines of assembly for something you know you could easily do with 10 or 20 lines of C. So every ASM programmer creates a library of his favorite code snippets, and then reuses it as needed, stiched together with new code. After a while you get Frankenstein's monster. But at least it shambles along correctly and is done on schedule.

The problem in my industry is that we rely a lot on these little 8 bit microcontrollers to act as duct tape in a circuit. A lot of things in my job are accomplished real time, where nanoseconds matter. I'm stuck with ASM because I need to know to the nearest hundred nanoseconds when it will execute.

My preference would be to program with a soldering iron. :D

(edited to change timescale just a bit)

[whitefork]

os/90:

DCLJCS START 0
SAVE (14,12)
BALR 10,0
USING *,10
BEGIN ST 13,SAVEAREA+4
LA 13,SAVEAREA
L 13,SAVEAREA+4
RETURN (14,12),,RC=0
JESUS DC C'JESUS'
SAVIOR DC C'SAVIOR'
SAVEAREA DS 9D
END

[Flaherty]

I subscribe to the bureaucracy theory to explain such billboards.

A pastor collects money from his congregation. Like a government bureaucracy, the pastor must be seen as doing something useful to justify his position and the donations he receives, so he buys billboard space with some slogan he knows will give his flock a religious woody.

[evildave]

Originally posted by calladus


Agreed. My own code included.

It is just too difficult to write 300 lines of assembly for something you know you could easily do with 10 or 20 lines of C. So every ASM programmer creates a library of his favorite code snippets, and then reuses it as needed, stiched together with new code. After a while you get Frankenstein's monster. But at least it shambles along correctly and is done on schedule.

The problem in my industry is that we rely a lot on these little 8 bit microcontrollers to act as duct tape in a circuit. A lot of things in my job are accomplished real time, where nanoseconds matter. I'm stuck with ASM because I need to know to the nearest hundred nanoseconds when it will execute.

My preference would be to program with a soldering iron. :D

(edited to change timescale just a bit)

I'll admit, I've never seen compiler that made "nice" 8-bit code. Of course most 8-bit CPUs don't have requirements like cache management and instruction scheduling, either.

Actually, the Gameboy Color has a 'z80-like' instruction set (i.e., like a z80, but crippled) and a slow CPU, at that. I have always found C is an excellent tool for prototyping ASM work, being barely a step above it. Sure enough, someone had made a C compiler for it. It made some scary, awful looking output, but it ran.

You can get the big, seldom called things built in C rapidly, and even get the often called, critical things at least prototyped in it. The ASM version of the output is usually very available. Then it's just a matter of going into the spots where it mattered and cleaning up the mess.

Of course, other silly things like building DMA lists to look like call a stack, so you could set SP and "return" to "call" a sequence of things by getting the 'return from subroutine' behavior to invoke each next thing it needed to do had to be written, as did all the palette swapping during horizontal blank where we had very few cycles to do a lot of work before the CPU would be locked out of video memory again.

That's among the USUAL sort of work I used to do. In the 8-bit days, I actually knew the opcodes better than the equivalent assembler syntax for the 6502 in Apple, Commodore, Atari and my Ohio Scientific computer. Later with the Atari ST, I realised that the C compiler was doing a much better job for the amount of effort I put into things. Without the hard-core C, a lot of the later work I did on PC (DOS, Win16, Win32, Unix/Linux), N64, Playstation, Gameboy, Palm, etc. (Just call me "Jack") would've been a lot more time consuming. Especially when it came to re-using snippets. I've had to make games work in a lot of these. Palm OS was definitely the worst for getting graphics on the screen.

[calladus]

Originally posted by evildave


I'll admit, I've never seen compiler that made "nice" 8-bit code. Of course most 8-bit CPUs don't have requirements like cache management and instruction scheduling, either.

Actually, the Gameboy Color has a 'z80-like' instruction set (i.e., like a z80, but crippled) and a slow CPU, at that. I have always found C is an excellent tool for prototyping ASM work, being barely a step above it. Sure enough, someone had made a C compiler for it. It made some scary, awful looking output, but it ran.

You can get the big, seldom called things built in C rapidly, and even get the often called, critical things at least prototyped in it. The ASM version of the output is usually very available. Then it's just a matter of going into the spots where it mattered and cleaning up the mess.

Of course, other silly things like building DMA lists to look like call a stack, so you could set SP and "return" to "call" a sequence of things by getting the 'return from subroutine' behavior to invoke each next thing it needed to do had to be written, as did all the palette swapping during horizontal blank where we had very few cycles to do a lot of work before the CPU would be locked out of video memory again.

That's among the USUAL sort of work I used to do. In the 8-bit days, I actually knew the opcodes better than the equivalent assembler syntax for the 6502 in Apple, Commodore, Atari and my Ohio Scientific computer. Later with the Atari ST, I realised that the C compiler was doing a much better job for the amount of effort I put into things. Without the hard-core C, a lot of the later work I did on PC (DOS, Win16, Win32, Unix/Linux), N64, Playstation, Gameboy, Palm, etc. (Just call me "Jack") would've been a lot more time consuming. Especially when it came to re-using snippets. I've had to make games work in a lot of these. Palm OS was definitely the worst for getting graphics on the screen.

Ah! A kindred soul! (if we have souls - which I doubt, but I'll let it stand as prose.)

I haven't done any work in games, or in game platforms. My background is in communications and in motion control. Plus I'm mostly hardware. I can program, but I can't create 'art' as some programmers do - not enough practice in it I guess.

I would love to discuss gaming software with you, especially because I love the idea of hacking a gameboy to make it do odd things. But I think we've derailed this thread enough. We should move somewhere more agreeable to this sort of discussion.

This is all Upchurch's fault! heh heh heh.

:D

[evildave]

Ha! Leave it derailed! I laugh at the topic police! Ha-ha-ha... (scuffling sound)

Actually, there are a lot of gameboy resources out there. GOOD software emulators, with debuggers, too. You can still find EEPROM carts for the gameboy as well.

Of course, for a little more scratch, get yourself an Gameboy Advance and the same kinds of tools are available for that, too. But you get a flat memory model and a proper CPU with lots of spare cycles.

http://www.work.de/nocash/index.htm

No$GMB was absolutely vital when we used it. The tools Nintendo provided were utter garbage compared to it.

There is a No$GBA, too. Of course, this guy wants money for it.

[to.by]

At a bus stop: Poster of bearded man with text "Where will you be on judgement day?". Below in handwriting: "Probably still waiting for the bloody bus"