Fundies Say the Darndest Things! March '04

[WinAce]

Linkz0rrz (http://users.rcn.com/rostmd/winace/fundies/)

Behold, the most recent result of the non-religious sadomasochistic self-flaggelation efforts I've been engaged in for over a year. ;)

As usual, pick out the best and suggest awards if you'd like. I'm particularly fond of some of the ones listed towards the end of the page, involving a poster oh-so-appropriately calling himself "Warrior Monk."

This has a deeper purpose, though. Some of this stuff is utterly mind-boggling. So much so that even the hardcore fundies will, upon reading it, find something so bizarre that they disagree with it. If you can't beat 'em upside the head with logic, perhaps shock value will bring up some uncomfortable questions.

Comments?

[Yahweh]

Only 10 contributions in and I'm already on the floor going hysterical :D

:big:

[Riddick]

while you're on the floor, can i have some?

[Riddick]

Originally posted by WinAce
Linkz0rrz (http://users.rcn.com/rostmd/winace/fundies/)

Behold, the most recent result of the non-religious sadomasochistic self-flaggelation efforts I've been engaged in for over a year. ;)

As usual, pick out the best and suggest awards if you'd like. I'm particularly fond of some of the ones listed towards the end of the page, involving a poster oh-so-appropriately calling himself "Warrior Monk."

This has a deeper purpose, though. Some of this stuff is utterly mind-boggling. So much so that even the hardcore fundies will, upon reading it, find something so bizarre that they disagree with it. If you can't beat 'em upside the head with logic, perhaps shock value will bring up some uncomfortable questions.

Comments?
i've been through divorce. there's nothing i can't handle.

[Yahweh]

Originally posted by Riddick
while you're on the floor, can i have some?
*Yahweh gets up, leaves the room, 30 seconds later a door slams in the background*

[Riddick]

well i set myself up nicely for that.

[EdipisReks]

some of these people are scary.

[Riddick]

Originally posted by EdipisReks
some of these people are scary.
be very afraid.

[Wrath of the Swarm]

Originally posted by Riddick
i've been through divorce. there's nothing i can't handle. Ah, so you've already betrayed the teachings of your Savior. But I'm sure He'll forgive you for that - although He taught forgiveness is always to be granted only to those genuinely sorry for their error. Willfull error is judged quite harshly, in fact.

Not to worry. I'm sure you'll retort with an insightful and educated explanation of the finer points of Christian theology, drawing upon the greatest works of scholars and saints to prove your point. Or you'll just insult me for a bit.

[Eos of the Eons]

argh, I always get so p1ssed at the ignorance, especially regarding AIDS :mad:

then i read something like:

"Just thinking of how severely the Janet Jackson/Justin Timberlake [bared br3ast] thing has impacted our society... Men will become more s3xually emboldened and aggressive. More r*pes will occur... Terrorists are probably more emboldened now. They already see America as the Great Satan, exporting filth around the world. Just more ammo to want to destroy us."

***snort***

LOL!

Talk about naive and ignorant and typical idiocy. One b00b to destroy humanity! Hmphh, it's the b00bs that come up with that crap that really are something to be afraid of.

[Oleron]

Hey you guys can laugh but you voted one of these meatballs for president!

Whereas we have Tony Blair... doh!

Just saw the flaw in my gloat.

[Hexxenhammer]

These are my favorites so far:
"The universe isn't expanding. It did in the first hours and days of creation, as God said clearly twelve times in the Bible that He stretched out the heavens. But that is past tense."
"I don't put my faith in science, so I don't believe the universe is what scientists say it is. The universe probably ends a few miles or so from the surface of the earth."
"Why waste your time flipping back and forth [cross-examining other news sources] when FOX gives you 'fair and balanced'. They tell you that right up front. Save yourself the frustration." "I imagine there was quite a bit of debris floating around [during Noah's flood] for insects to survive on."
"I didn't descend from an ape. Now there are people that act like they descended from apes. They listen to rap music and drive purple cars!"

[The Don]

I find the "God must exist and the Bible must be literally true because we haven't found Jesus' corpse" argument an aboslute clincher. I am now a Christian !

[rachaella]

I could only read half of them in one sitting. There's only so much ignorance that my mind can take. But the one about the universe ending a few miles from the earth's surface, wow, that was quite a gem.

[MLynn]

Originally posted by Eos of the Eons
***snort***

LOL!

Talk about naive and ignorant and typical idiocy. One b00b to destroy humanity! Hmphh, it's the b00bs that come up with that crap that really are something to be afraid of.
I think there is naivety in a lot of people. I've been quite amused at the fuss given to the "wardrobe malfunction." There are, however, conservative cultures around the world though who consider all Americans b00bs...

[MLynn]

Originally posted by Oleron
Hey you guys can laugh but you voted one of these meatballs for president!

Whereas we have Tony Blair... doh!

Just saw the flaw in my gloat.
Not to worry, there are plenty of meatballs for everyone! :D

[Gestahl]

"Up above Capt Jack (BS, MS, PhD) tried to tell me that my calculations of protein synthesis [for abiogenesis] were wrong because they need not be sequential. I am astounded that a man with a PhD in theoretical physics clearly has no grasp of probability mathmatics."
- Bob Moore, ChristianForums

"I don't know what the hell is wrong with some with you. Being an Atheist is NOT something to be proud of!"
- Lord Sesshomaru, BlizzForums

I think this demonstrates quite effectively why people have a hard time coming out of religion and accepting fact, even when told to them by a person with demonstrably greater knowledge about a subject: pride. Simply not wanting to admit you are wrong. One of the deadly sins, I might add.

I am not proud to be an Agnostic/Weak Atheist (I do not believe God to exist, but I am willing to accept the fact he might). That is just what I am. I was not proud to be a Christian, that is what I was. Pride in your position leads to arrogance, and arrogance to willful ignorance, and willful ignorance to studpidity (see my earlier posts for my description of my use of supidity).

Us atheists and agnostics should take note: be not prideful and boastful. We think we are right just as much as they do.

[WinAce]

The irony of a character taking "Lord Sesshomaru" (an anime demon) for his username, telling others how "being an atheist is nothing to be proud of," should really speak for itself.

[El Greco]

Just think that all these people will apply their amazing thinking abilities to the next elections, and thus will decide for your future.

[EGarrett]

My question is...if God's will be done...then why don't these people just go away?

[Hexxenhammer]

Originally posted by El Greco
Just think that all these people will apply their amazing thinking abilities to the next elections, and thus will decide for your future. I was thinking the same thing. It's no wonder idiots get elected.

[Jas]

I think my favourite is the one where he points out that the scriptures survived, yet the writings saying that the miracles DIDN'T occur were lost and therefore thescriptures must be true.

It seems to me that the stupid are poised to inherit the earth *sigh*

[Riddick]

^^ always resort to name calling, it's a win-win outcome. i learned that long ago.

[neutrino_cannon]

Not only are the stupid poised to inherit the earth, they've held the stupid thing for as long as can be remembered, and then some.

Bacteria are pretty stupid, and bacteria rule the earth. Human existance is petty and insignificant, there is no reason to care.


blah blah blah...

[rdaneel]

"As if lack of belief is the only sin you've ever committed. And shoplifting doesn't really infringe on the rights of others, but it may infringe on the rights of the clothes being stolen..."
This message brought to you by the American Clothing Liberties Union.

[Eos of the Eons]

Originally posted by Gestahl


Us atheists and agnostics should take note: be not prideful and boastful. We think we are right just as much as they do.

Pfft, who is being prideful? I just can't believe they can come up with this stuff. These must be the people that go to those christian schools. Where is the logic??

HIV is a virus, and it doesn't care whom it infects, it just gets its chance, and reproduces itself whenever possible.

And that explosion over one b00b?? No wonder women can't breastfeed in public. Heck, I've even heard one woman say 'do not breastfeed girls because it would make them lesbians'.

The outright lack of, I dunno, logic/seeing the obvious baffles me. We'd be extinct if women didn't breasfeed their daughters when there were no bottles...big time DUH!!!

The outright bigotry and sterotyping these people have/do just makes me wanna http://www.members.shaw.ca/eostory/PUKE15.GIF

[Yahweh]

Eos,

Love the avatar :)

(How did you make the dog appear so cynical?)

[Eos of the Eons]

Originally posted by Yahweh


Eos,

Love the avatar :)

(How did you make the dog appear so cynical?)


I certainly can't take any credit, so I won't :) I got the pup from "killer pup" in the humour forums. The picture there is really a treat-bigger and hilarious to boot.

Check it out!

http://www.randi.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=36369

[Suezoled]

Originally posted by WinAce
The irony of a character taking "Lord Sesshomaru" (an anime demon) for his username, telling others how "being an atheist is nothing to be proud of," should really speak for itself.

Yes, and Sesshoumaru is also an androgynous and beautiful character, as well... [drools in shame] Although he's a bit brutal, ripping men, women, and demons apart with a casualness that's kind of disturbing.

[Flaherty]

"I'm an economist by trade, and thought I would try my hand at describing an simple economic analysis of religious decision-making... Now let's assume that there are only two possible religious choices in the world: Christianity and Atheism... So take infinite blessings and subtract, say 70 years of pain and suffering for being a Christian while on Earth, and the result is still infinity. If you're an atheist, assume 70 years of pure pleasure and no costs whatsoever, and the result is still 0.

If you're an atheist, and this economic analysis hasn't convinced you, then you have just shown that many people don't make rational decisions when it comes to accepting or rejecting Jesus Christ.

Now, assume you're God, and a person has refused to believe in you and refusing to accept Jesus Christ, despite such clear and convincing evidence. What might be a logical punishment for such a person? "
- True_Blue, ChristianForums


As an economist, I would like to apologize for this idiot's post.

[Jas]

Originally posted by Eos of the Eons


And that explosion over one b00b?? No wonder women can't breastfeed in public. Heck, I've even heard one woman say 'do not breastfeed girls because it would make them lesbians'.

The outright lack of, I dunno, logic/seeing the obvious baffles me. We'd be extinct if women didn't breasfeed their daughters when there were no bottles...big time DUH!!!

The outright bigotry and sterotyping these people have/do just makes me wanna http://www.members.shaw.ca/eostory/PUKE15.GIF


This clearly explains why, up until about 50 years ago, all females were lesbians.

[aerosolben]

Originally posted by Flaherty
As an economist, I would like to apologize for this idiot's post.

Wow. He argued for Pascal's Wager by immediately and explicitly stating why it is invalid, and then adding some extra flaws of his own invention. Oh yes, and the economics analysis that has nothing to do with economics (perhaps "economics" = addition and subtraction).

Wow.

[WinAce]

Originally posted by Flaherty
As an economist, I would like to apologize for this idiot's post.

Apology accepted. Now I need to ask *others* for forgiveness, given how depressing FStDT! is :D

[the_ignored]

Just look at the "respect" (http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?postid=1578612#post1578612) they have for the laws.


You'd think that they'd be satisfied with all their TV, radio programs, churches, politicians, and political "committees" they control, etc. that they'd be satisfied. Noooo!


And when people try to stop them from being a pain in the ass while you're just going about your own daily routine, they whine about persecution!:mad: :mad: :banghead:

Note how in that thread posters keep bringing up the "rewards" of the "Bema" seat. They're not being annoying just for "our own good", they're trying to "store up treasures in heaven" the greedy little mugs.


**If anyone hear ever runs into clouts like those, try to have a paroday tract or a tract-rebuttal in hand...see if they'll take that if you take theirs. If they don't, run them out**

[Kilted_Canuck]

Awesome as always Winace, I'll have to get you some from a teen board I frequent....makes me lose all hope for the next generation as well.

[Cecil]

"I'm guessing you might be referring back to Darwins theory about humans evolving from ape. Ok How could this be true? If it happened over a long period of time how could it not die or sumthin? Reasons or questions:
1.Another thing why is their apes still around?
2.Why didn't all of them evolve?
3.Did me and you evolve from apes? No!
4.Why do sum woman have children if they are just waiting for more people to evolve?
5. If you were mid-man mid-ape what would happen to your eyes and other organs?
6.If you were evolving from ape what would you eat?
7.How would you survive?
8.If your were mid-man mid-ape how would you reproduce?
9.If you were evloving how would man learin language?
10. If apes had a certain lifespan and humans have a certain lifespan How long would it take before they died before completely evolving?
11. There are many different kinds of people today (Chinese,African American,Filipino,Laocian etc.) How did these skin colors and such come to be if we evolved?
12. How would we have different skin colors and eye colors and hair colors if we evolved?
13. Who would we evolve form apes? Why not elephants or some other animal?
14. How come humans aren't evolving still today?
15.Did apes all over evolve? In different countries?"
- GodsChild, HeLives.com Teen Forum :bricks: My head.... :(

[rachaella]

Originally posted by Cecil
:bricks: My head.... :(

Yet another glaring example of how poorly evolution is taught in school. Really, I think even beyond biology classes, physical anthropology classes should be standard in high school.

[Lisa Simpson]

A very devout Christian acquaintence of mine tried to get me to watch a video of how evolution is all wrong and the oldest thing on earth is really only 4,000 years old. I politely turned her down.

On the plus side, now I'm so damned that she doesn't bother trying to convert me! :)

[shemp]

I was just in a Yahoo card game room where a bunch of fundies were talking about someone being very ill. They said that he wasn't going to die because he believed in their god and that their god is a good god. One of them said "We are all in the palm of the Lord. We just have to snuggle down and stay warm." :rolleyes:

[Kilted_Canuck]

Originally posted by rachaella


Yet another glaring example of how poorly evolution is taught in school. Really, I think even beyond biology classes, physical anthropology classes should be standard in high school.

I'd rate the Canadian education system as very good, except the teacher that taught me biology spent no more that 2 classes on Evolution. He had wasted so much time on the first section (Cellular biology- 10 hour course he expanded to a month) that we could only fit Evolution into the last 2 classes before finals (it was supposed to be 20 hours minimum, by the curriculum standards). I don't think most people in that class gained any knowledge about evolution works.

[Lisa Simpson]

I don't remember getting any education on evolution beyond "Hey look! We have opposable thumbs!" I'm pretty sure my oldest son (he's in middle school) hasn't had any lessons on evolution, either. OTOH, at least he hasn't had any lectures on creationism, either.

[Jas]

I unfortuanately had to spend a year in a very small religious town (the Canadians here have probably heard of it unfortuanately - Martensville, SK, home of the huge daycare/police/satanic cult/sexual abuse scandal). The science teacher refused to teach evolution. He was gone the year after I moved, but some of the older kids went off to University knowing NOTHING. The only reason that he was able to get away withh it for so long was because the majority of the town was either Mennonite or fundamental Christian.

[Eos of the Eons]

Originally posted by Jas
I unfortuanately had to spend a year in a very small religious town (the Canadians here have probably heard of it unfortuanately - Martensville, SK, home of the huge daycare/police/satanic cult/sexual abuse scandal). The science teacher refused to teach evolution. He was gone the year after I moved, but some of the older kids went off to University knowing NOTHING. The only reason that he was able to get away withh it for so long was because the majority of the town was either Mennonite or fundamental Christian.


Tell me about. I never heard a thing about in school. In grade 8 our fundy science teacher just poo pooed evelution for a few minutes, and then moved on. We didn't even cover the different periods in earth's history (like crustacean, etc.) even though it was part of the curriculum (missed those questions on the finals, lowered my grade).

As you can tell, I'm still miffed about it. Cheers Jas. We can both hate the bible belt.

[fishbob]

Not crustacean, Crustaceous.

Pre-Cognicious - the period before we thought about it
Paleogoriphic - the period we were afraid of
Crustaceous - lunch period
and Mesopotamian - ancestors began to walk upright, like Egyptians.




Sorry, its late.

[Eos of the Eons]

Originally posted by fishbob
Not crustacean, Crustaceous.



:D


See what I mean, now I'm doomed for life unless I look it up every time.

Thanks much, and for the laugh,

Eos

[Mephisto]

WTF? I was posting to the Anne Coulter thread in Politics and suddenly I'm in Religion & Philosophy.

God move in mysterious ways . . .

[Upchurch]

God move in mysterious ways . . .or it's a message from WinAce..... :eek:

[bigred]

I give up: what the flip does that link have to do w/Ann Coulter?

[jjramsey]

I give up: what the flip does that link have to do w/Ann Coulter?

It's the poll bug gremlin. :p

[EatatJoes]

I am yet another victim :( But it did give me a chuckle:)

[Ducky]

Man.

RIP WinAce.

Is anyone carrying on FSTDT?

[Diamond]

Man.

RIP WinAce.

Is anyone carrying on FSTDT?

Yahweh.

[Moon-Spinner]

Man.

RIP WinAce.

Is anyone carrying on FSTDT?

FSTDT is alive and kicking.
http://www.fstdt.com/

I visit it every day.

[gypsynuke]

Thanks for the link Moon-Spinner. I haven't seen the site before but it's on my favorites list now.