Poll: Psychic dead fish in pants test. Please do not look at vote before voting!

[shemp]

I have placed a dead fish in my pants. I am going to spend the day concentrating on the fish. Try to psychically determine what type of fish it is. I have PM'd all my sock puppets with the type of fish. Winners will receive a bucket of chum. Losers receive two buckets of chum.

[Garrette]

This is not a valid test unless you also have a control fish.

Plus, you'll need to justify any decision not to use Poisson.

[shemp]

Thank you for pointing out the error. I have now put a control fish in my bathrobe.

[MRC_Hans]

I still think there is something fishy about this experiment.




(I aplogize for the awful pun, which should, of course, have been posted by Shemp, but since he is unable, because of his involvement in the experiment, I thought that somebody hadda do it :( . I'm shure Shemp will have no dificulty returning the favor at a later time)

Hans

[Suezoled]

how do you know your sockpuppets won't go around manipulating data and therefore interfering with your psychic message? You must beat them severely Shemp, to make sure they don't think of stuff other than what you tell them too. Those sock puppets can be mighty tricky you know...

[El Greco]

I sense that the fish was not dead when first placed in pants. It was killed in a way that Amnesty International would deem atrocious.

[Ladewig]

I see an eel; a very, very small eel. No, wait. Forget that.

My psychic vision shows that you have lost the fish, but it is (wait for it) near water.

[Vitnir]

You have a dead sardine in your pants. Please send my bucket of chum (whatever that is) by telekinesis.

[No Answers]

This thread would've gotten me banned, LOL

I'm gonna guess... scrod. Am I correct?

[Aoidoi]

I'm going with bass. My psychic vision tells me an ill-tempered sea bass with a frickin' laser beam.

No, wait, that was my tv.

[Ed]

Shemp,

You are simply floundering about for a witty topic.

That said, it is a very, very small Trout. Speckled.

[Suezoled]

Originally posted by Ed
Shemp,

You are simply floundering about for a witty topic.

That said, it is a very, very small Trout. Speckled.

Spotted Dick*?



*pudding! I'm talking about pudding!

[Colloden]

What kind of tackle did you use to get the fish in your pants?
If it's the shark, do you have any tackle left ?

[roger]

You can't fool me, shemp. You have nothing, nothing at all in your pants.

[Hypnotix]

Originally posted by shemp
I have placed a dead fish in my pants. I am going to spend the day concentrating on the fish. Try to psychically determine what type of fish it is. I have PM'd all my sock puppets with the type of fish. Winners will receive a bucket of chum. Losers receive two buckets of chum.



“Excuse me, do you have a spare copy of 'Flie - Fishing' by J. R. Hartley?”


http://www.doggieville.co.uk/hartley.html

[Colloden]

I only voted for the shempfish because I thought it was from Planet-X. Can I have my vote back please ?

[Ipecac]

You people are so dumb.

No man would put any kind of dangerous fish in his pants. No man would put a fish in his pants for any serious reason.

Therefore, the answer is clear. Shemp has put a fish in his pants simply for the halibut.

I need more friends so I'll take two chums please!

[shemp]

The fish is still in my pants, but the smell is causing problems here at the office. My wife says the control fish is resting comfortably.

[Ed]

Originally posted by Colloden
What kind of tackle did you use to get the fish in your pants?
If it's the shark, do you have any tackle left ?

It was ultra-light to begin with.

[Sundog]

Originally posted by shemp
The fish is still in my pants, but the smell is causing problems here at the office. My wife says the control fish is resting comfortably.



Aha, it's a mudshark.

[Brian]

Originally posted by Ipecac
You people are so dumb.

No man would put any kind of dangerous fish in his pants. No man would put a fish in his pants for any serious reason.

Therefore, the answer is clear. Shemp has put a fish in his pants simply for the halibut.

I need more friends so I'll take two chums please!

Cut the carp.

[Hypnotix]

Maybe… It’s a lost Monkfish that belongs to the ‘Holy Order of the Brown Nose’ trying to makes its way back home to the Mon-ass-tery?:)

[Zep]

I vote "whale". There's a whale in Shemp's pants. He has big pants, so it's possible.

http://www.whalecenter.org/images/store/orcaform.jpg

[Sindai]

You people are the wind beneath my trout.

[Yahweh]

Halibut.

[Garrette]

I think it's unfair to expect us to get the exact name or type of fish. I can, however, give you my impressions. After you reveal the type of fish actually in your pants, I'll let you know if I got a hit.

Ahem:

something to do with....scaling?......no, wait, um, I'm getting 'filet', a smell of lemon, perhaps, and parsley


And, oh, yes, your wife says "Hi."

[Oleron]

I'm sure I read somewhere that most people go for the 3rd item on the list.

Trout it is then. I'd hate to go against conformity. (although I really wanted Halibut).

[Lothian]

What a disgusting practice. That horrible scaly smelly thing will really upset the fish.

[MRC_Hans]

Good thing it is a dead fish. Otherwise it might have taken the worm.




(OMG, I must lay off this :nope: )


Hans

[DickK]

Have you no sole? It's all too easy to throw brickbats from your lofty perch, but there's a time and a plaice to ridicule an honest attempt at Anomalous Trouser Filling, and it's...here.

DickK, Gold Medalist, Interesting Ian's Remote Viewing Award (IIRVA) 2004, experimental protocol patent pending

[shemp]

Originally posted by Zep
I vote "whale". There's a whale in Shemp's pants. He has big pants, so it's possible.

http://www.whalecenter.org/images/store/orcaform.jpg

Yes, as Mrs. Shemp will attest, there's a whale in my pants. However, a whale is not a fish, nor is it the fish that I put in my pants, so thou art disqualified.

[shemp]

OK, it's been almost 24 hours now, but due to popular demand, and to make the remote viewing easier, I will put TWO fish in my pants today, both of the same kind as the fish I used yesterday, and I will concentrate twice as hard. The fish I used yesterday must be retired because it has gotten rather gamy. However, the control fish is doing quite well and will be holding a press conference at 2 p.m.

[MRC_Hans]

If this continues much longer, psi won't be needed. All you'll need is to be downwind of the Shemp residence :eek:.

Hans

[shemp]

It would still be a pretty good feat to be able to determine what kind of fish it is from its smell.

Here's a clue: It isn't any kind of fish you would find in the horribly polluted Danish waters.

[MRC_Hans]

Oh? Well, I suppose even those could not make it in your pants.

Hans

[Wolrab]

Hmmm... what a great way to cheat on the wife. "Honey, the fishy smell from my crotch is just part of a psi experiment."

[Vitnir]

Was it only a cruel joke? Still no bucket of chum!

[shemp]

Sorry, I meant "bucket of chump."

[ADD Boy]

Chum - bait usually consisting of oily fish ground up and scattered on the water. (Courtesy of dictionary.com)

Yum yum!:biggrin:

[Zep]

Originally posted by shemp
Yes, as Mrs. Shemp will attest, there's a whale in my pants. However, a whale is not a fish, nor is it the fish that I put in my pants, so thou art disqualified. Can I phone a friend? Ask the audience? I'd like to change my answer to (b) the minnow, please. I just remembered that a whale is not a fish - it's a mollusc.

[bug_girl]

Originally posted by Zep
I'd like to change my answer to (b) the minnow, please. I just remembered that a whale is not a fish - it's a mollusc.

i just want you to know that your post made me shout out "What!?" so loudly that my cat went skittering into the other room with a big tail. unkind to yank my chain like that :p

[Zep]

Originally posted by bug_girl
i just want you to know that your post made me shout out "What!?" so loudly that my cat went skittering into the other room with a big tail. unkind to yank my chain like that :p So.......it's....NOT a mollusc....?


{thinks...}



Ummm....amphibian? Maybe?

[Ladewig]

Ummm....amphibian? Maybe?

No, they aspire to be amphibians. That's why they always beach themselves. They are trying to evolve.

[Hand Bent Spoon]

I think it's pretty obvious you have tuna in your pants.

[Lisa Simpson]

This thread sounds like the punchline to a dirty joke. :)

Is that a fish in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?

[thaiboxerken]

Hey!!!? That fishy smell coming from your pants isn't really from a fish is it?

[Vitnir]

Ok, I think we have waited long enough. What kind of fish was it?

[shemp]

Originally posted by Vitnir
Ok, I think we have waited long enough. What kind of fish was it?

I'm sorry, but I forgot what kind it was, and it's rotted past the point where it could still be identified.

[S. D. Youngren]

In that case, I hope I was wrong and it wasn't a shempfish.

[Schizobunny]

Originally posted by shemp


I'm sorry, but I forgot what kind it was, and it's rotted past the point where it could still be identified.

Do the bones by any chance look like that of an eels? By the way where are you going to by the chum for all the people who posted on the board? I want my chum!

[Schizobunny]

Originally posted by shemp
Sorry, I meant "bucket of chump."

According to dictionary dot com your going to give us a bucket of "a stupid or foolish person; a dolt". That is a direct quote from dictionary.com.

[Kiless]

how come I ended up here after posting on the language poll?

[PixyMisa]

It's the dreaded Revive A Shemp Thread bug.

[Marquis de Carabas]

Poll closed at 12:46pm, CDT, with kittynh narrowly winning with 11 votes.

ETA: bah, stupid poll bug