Jesus was 6 feet tall, and thou shalt not be.

[Bluegill]

I had an interesting conversation with my brother and his wife last night. My brother is 6 feet tall, and he's said that he's had numerous arguments with fundamentalists who've tried to tell him that there is no way he could be exactly six feet tall because Jesus was exactly six feet tall.

My response to this was, "WTF??"

I'm not six feet tall, so I guess I'm far less likely to hear someone make that...interesting...religious claim. His wife, who hails from a fairly religious family, says she has heard people say this, too. Neither my wife nor I had ever heard of this.

Have you heard any Christians say this?

Why do they think Jesus was exactly six feet tall?

Why do they think this precludes anyone else from being six feet tall?

And if someone grows to be six-foot-one, does that mean God intervenes and makes them magically "skip" the fraction of an inch between 5'12 and 7/8" and 6' 1/8" ?

[Iacchus]

However, it's not possible for anyone to be precisely six feet tall, except perhaps God. ;)

[Bluegill]

I'd say you can be as precisely 6 feet tall as you can be precisely anything.

Maybe it's like the Staff of Ra in "Raiders of the Lost Ark": Give back one for the Hebrew God...

I asked my brother how tall he was in cubits, and he just said "Jesus-height."

[Iacchus]

Originally posted by Bluegill

I'd say you can be as precisely 6 feet tall as you can be precisely anything.

Maybe it's like the Staff of Ra in "Raiders of the Lost Ark": Give back one for the Hebrew God...

I asked my brother how tall he was in cubits, and he just said "Jesus-height." And yet we're speaking of perfection here, and only perfection can split perfection, precisely.

[Abdul Alhazred]

Originally posted by Bluegill
I'd say you can be as precisely 6 feet tall as you can be precisely anything.

Maybe it's like the Staff of Ra in "Raiders of the Lost Ark": Give back one for the Hebrew God...

I asked my brother how tall he was in cubits, and he just said "Jesus-height."

A new one on me. Of course when you measure your height it's not with a micrometer.

What could be the significance of 'exactly six feet'? Would that be to rebuke the godless metric system? :D

[El Greco]

If Jesus was 6ft tall then he could only be a 800 - 1500m runner. He was not muscular enough for throws. He was not tall enough for high jump. He was not lean enough for long distance running. He could be a play maker, but he wasn't explosive enough either.

Yep, that's it. Jesus was a medium distance runner.

[sackett]

Or maybe that's putting the mental back in fundamental?

Keeping track of fundie wierdness is like trying to count boiling beans: nobody can do it, and no normal mind should try.

6-feet 0-inches Jesus is an example of the longing of the religious to reify their beliefs, i.e., to find or create material embodiments of the things they believe in. In short, they set up graven images and worship before them. Old stuff; it makes religionism more fun, especially for the simple souls who are, of course, vastly inferior to you and me.

Elsewhere on this forum and some months back, Bluegill and I related -- and rejoiced -- in our own "religious" experiences, which were very much rooted in the material world, not in any creeping Jesus 1,828.80 millimeters tall.

Bluegill! Where and the hell have you been? I thought you must of winter-kilt! We'll have to change your handle to Seldom Seen!

[Valmorian]

Originally posted by Bluegill

Why do they think Jesus was exactly six feet tall?


Whoa. A 6' tall man at that time would have really stuck out like a sore thumb. Certainly enough for his height to have been mentioned in the Bible! He would have been towering over most of the people at that time..

[whitefork]

Not to mention his blue eyes, long straight blond hair, perfect white teeth, and cute butt.

A Dolph Lundgren type, as I recall from Sunday School.

[Wrath of the Swarm]

Exactly six feet? That's very impressive, especially since the modern definition of the foot wasn't in use at the time.

Here (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historical_weights_and_measures#Length_6) is a brief description of some historic weights and measures. Modern feet aren't there.

I suppose this is why fundamentalists oppose the adoption of the godless metric system, yes? It would violate the God-given units used to design Jesus himself.

[Bluegill]

Originally posted by sackett

Bluegill! Where and the hell have you been? I thought you must of winter-kilt! We'll have to change your handle to Seldom Seen!


In the bitterness of winter, when the edges of the forum ice over, I'm inclined to linger near the bottom, out of reach of the trolling. And you know, there's usually not much to say on the R&P forum (and most of the other ones) that someone else hasn't already said twenty times, more eloquently, or just more loudly.

If a fish is winter-kilt, does that make it a Scotsman's frosty codpiece?

[Bluegill]

Originally posted by Wrath of the Swarm
Exactly six feet? That's very impressive, especially since the modern definition of the foot wasn't in use at the time.

Here (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historical_weights_and_measures#Length_6) is a brief description of some historic weights and measures. Modern feet aren't there.

I suppose this is why fundamentalists oppose the adoption of the godless metric system, yes? It would violate the God-given units used to design Jesus himself.

I wouldn't go so far as to say it's "impressive"...six feet is still six feet, regardless of whether the foot had been invented. By which I mean, Jesus could have been six feet tall.

But the fact that some fundamentalists have apparently seized on this measurement just illustrates the arbitrariness of it all. Do they think that six feet is more perfect than 5.548 feet? Or 9.877 hands? etc.

[Finella]

I include this not only for its humorous, but also factual, content. It's a really catchy tune, too. While he has a lot of MP3s on the site, unfortunately this one isn't there yet.

Taller Than Jesus
© 2002 Sean Altman


I'm not bragging - don't mean to blaspheme
But Jesus was a short dude - at least compared to me

The average guy at the time of Christ
Was 4'9 to 5'5"
I...I'm taller than Jesus
I said I...I'm MUCH taller than Jesus

He was long on love - but short of limb
My tee-shirt is like a dress on him
He could heal the sick and save your soul
But he couldn't dunk a basketball
I...I'm taller than Jesus
I said I...I'm MUCH taller than Jesus

Jesus walked on water
Turned water into wine
But if you need to change that
light bulb
Call me - I'm divine

I was hanging with Christ - just guy to guy
He was sitting on a phone book - we were eye to thigh

He said "Hey Sean - what's it like up high?"
I said "Hay-soos - you want a piggyback ride?"

The Beatles claimed they were bigger than you
Well I've the height on the Beatles too
If genes determine the size of your bod
Then my Dad must be taller than God
I...I'm taller than Jesus
I said I...I'm MUCH taller than Jesus...

From Sean Altman's website. (http://www.seanaltman.com/lyrq-z.shtml)

[Ladewig]

So, if you get a chance, please ask them how people get to be 6'3". At one point, they have to be shorter than six feet and then at a later point they have to be over six feet. Don't they have to be six feet at some time between those two points?

I think they are pulling your feet.

________________________________________________

These people are blaspheming. It was Ramses III, pharaoh of Egypt, that was exactly six feet tall. Straight Dope (http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_034a.html)

[Iacchus]

Originally posted by Ladewig

So, if you get a chance, please ask them how people get to be 6'3". At one point, they have to be shorter than six feet and then at a later point they have to be over six feet. Don't they have to be six feet at some time between those two points?

I think they are pulling your feet.Possibly, but how long do you think they would have been able to maintain it?

[Filippo Lippi]

900 feet surely, I have an album to prove it.

Music doesn't lie

http://img.epinions.com/images/opti/a1/a1/124003-music-resized200.jpg

[Matabiri]

Anyway, height changes by up to a cm or so thoughout the day as your spine relaxes and contracts.

So someone who's 6 feet tall on average could be as tall as Jesus several times a day, if he or she lay down and stood up a lot.

And six feet is 1 fathom, which was in use in Jesus time (wasn't it?).

[Ladewig]

And for the same reason, there are no carpenters today.


I wonder if Joseph made use of Jesus's height. "Son, lay down next to this board, I have some measuring to do."

My flagpole is three and one half Jesuses. My vegetable garden is two and one half square Jesuses.

[Brown]

The Bible does not say how tall Jesus was, but does say that his height was not constant:

Luke 2:52: And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.

Note that this verse also suggests that Jesus was not always smart or wise.

[Abdul Alhazred]

Originally posted by Brown
The Bible does not say how tall Jesus was, but does say that his height was not constant:

Luke 2:52: And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.

Note that this verse also suggests that Jesus was not always smart or wise.

Well obviously he was a little kid at some point.

[Earthborn]

A Google search on 'Six Feet Jesus' reveals some startling information.

The six feet of Jesus (http://www.tennessean.com/growth/archives/04/01/46258154.shtml). Pink Jesus...Broken beer bottles are shattered at the six feet of Jesus.Statue of Jesus (http://www.livejournal.com/community/edfyingspectace/279880.html) miraculously turning out to be six feet (and a bit).The Jesus seated at the table is 6 feet 5 inches, something Gibbs still doesn’t understand.

"I was copying myself and Jesus turned out to be over six feet," said Gibbs, who himself stands under 5 feet 6 inches.Straight Dope (http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_034a.html) telling us that if Jesus was 6 feet that he indeed was fairly tall, but tells us nothing about whether he actually was.

Religious Tolerance (http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_jcfa.htm) again trying to confuse good Christians on what Jesus looked like:The center portrait above is based on the image on the Shroud of Turin, which is believed by some Christians to be the burial shroud of Jesus. It is of a man estimated to be 5' 11½" to 6' 2" tall.An authoritative source (http://www.angelfire.com/or2/spiritspeaks/jesuschrist.html) on the size and shape of Jesus and God:Peter also told me that he and Christ had come about directly from God within the universe and that they were bullet shaped like God their father only God stood at nine feet and they were six feet tall.

[Bluegill]

Earthborn, that's information overload.


"Googlism doesn't know enough about six foot jesus yet," but




big jesus is quoted as a source for the legend
big jesus is given to you in holy absolution
big jesus is from a helicopter
big jesus is coming thing
big jesus is just plain good times
big jesus is #1 foam fingers
big jesus is watching you

[RussDill]

Originally posted by Iacchus
However, it's not possible for anyone to be precisely six feet tall, except perhaps God. ;)

It is silly to even ask the question, because your height changes throughout the day.

[Iacchus]

Originally posted by RussDill

It is silly to even ask the question, because your height changes throughout the day. Is it silly then to stamp it on your driver's license? :p

[neutrino_cannon]

I was gonna ask where in the Bible this showed up... but now it seems it doesn't show up at all.

I call it "brush christianity", wierd stuff that some christians believe that seems to have come from either a drunken revelation at two AM, or as a result of local beliefs and customs infusing into the religion.

Actually, it isn't quite fair to group those two things together, but I do so deal with it.

In many places, especially when churches are few and far between, the older "pagan" (i.e. nonchristian) religions are still present. A few names are changed, that's all. Instead of quezowhatsisname giving man corn, it's Jesus.

Quite fascinating, happens a lot in South Ameica if my sources are accurate and/or up to date. Perhpas someone here from South America could add to or correct that.

Then there's random stuff that seems to come from nowhere, like this "jesus was 6' exactly" nonsense. The only thing comperable that I can think of (though I'm sure there's more) in the way of such random pseudo-christian beliefs is that men have one less rib then women. A common and low quality creationist canard, which ironically enough requires lamarkian inheritance to be true.


Truly bizzare stuff.

[smalltlalk_2k]

Originally posted by neutrino_cannon
I was gonna ask where in the Bible this showed up... but now it seems it doesn't show up at all.


Its in the bible. You can look it up. Bull **** 2:15

"And Jesus said, "I am 6 Feet tall and there shall be no other 6 Feet tall before me."

[canadarocks]

I know that Oral Roberts once claimed he saw a 900 ft Jesus! Oral's next "vision", he saw a garden variety 6 ft Jesus.