Bored, Brown-nosing, and ordained.

[Some Friggin Guy]

A few years ago, I got a legal ordination here (http://www.ulchq.com/). I never really paid attention to most of it, because I did it for reasons dealing with the government.

Anyway, In another thread in the community forum, someone brought this church up and I actually started poking around their site. I found out that I can legally ordain other people (http://www.ulchq.com/ordination.cfm), so I am hereby ordaining any member of this forum who is interested.

I also found out that I can nominate saints (http://www.ulchq.com/materials.cfm?pkey=113), so any moderator interested, let me know and I'll nominate you.

[Wudang]

Saints? Nah, but my wife said I need beatification. Hang on, it was beautification. Forget it.

[Zep]

Yes, please. I need to be ordained! Take me now and ordain me! ORDAIN ME! PLEASE!


Oh. Ah...



Sorry.



Got a little carried away there.


*ahem*


Do I get a certificate or something?

[Lothian]

Originally posted by Some Friggin Guy
A few years ago, I got a legal ordination here (http://www.ulchq.com/).
Brother, I too have been a Reverend at the Universal Life Church for over a year. Amen

[Some Friggin Guy]

Originally posted by Zep
Yes, please. I need to be ordained! Take me now and ordain me! ORDAIN ME! PLEASE!


Oh. Ah...



Sorry.



Got a little carried away there.


*ahem*


Do I get a certificate or something?

Yeah, you get a certificate. You need to apply for ordination on your own to get one, though. You can do it through the site linked in my initial post.

[Zep]

Originally posted by Some Friggin Guy
Yeah, you get a certificate. You need to apply for ordination on your own to get one, though. You can do it through the site linked in my initial post. Excellent! Do you accept pseudonyms?

[Some Friggin Guy]

Originally posted by Zep
Excellent! Do you accept pseudonyms?

Me, personally? I have no problem with it. However, as I said, I don't have the certificates to give out, so if you are looking for the certificate, it may be a bit of a craps-shoot.

[CFLarsen]

Tell me more.

What powers do I have, if I am a reverend?

I'd like to be a saint, too. ;)

[Some Friggin Guy]

Well, the official powers of ULC Ministers are laid out pretty well on the website I linked.

To sweeten the deal, I will add that ministers are allowed to eat pizza crust-first if they so desire.

[Zep]

Originally posted by Some Friggin Guy
Well, the official powers of ULC Ministers are laid out pretty well on the website I linked.

To sweeten the deal, I will add that ministers are allowed to eat pizza crust-first if they so desire.I'm sold! Where do I sign? :D

[Peter Jenkins]

Originally posted by Some Friggin Guy
Well, the official powers of ULC Ministers are laid out pretty well on the website I linked.

To sweeten the deal, I will add that ministers are allowed to eat pizza crust-first if they so desire.
HERESRY!!
I am already ordained by the ULC and I say that to eat a Pizza crust first is an ABOMINATION.

Peter (min.ULC.EPP {eating Pizzas Properly})

[Some Friggin Guy]

Zep shall hence-forth be known as "Reverend Zep of the Universal Life Church of Frigginisim".

If you want the papers though, Reverend, you will need to go to the website I linked.

[The Don]

I too got ordained by those guys. Mrs Don is pleased because as a lapsed Catholic she likes to be absolved on a regular basis.

Having the prefix "Rev" as also reduced my car insurance premiums considerably (I was explicitly clear about the church in which I was ordained but they didn't seem to mind)

[Some Friggin Guy]

Originally posted by Peter Jenkins

HERESRY!!
I am already ordained by the ULC and I say that to eat a Pizza crust first is an ABOMINATION.

Peter (min.ULC.EPP {eating Pizzas Properly})

Now, Brother Peter, we are part of slightly different denominations of the same church. There is no need for the hostilities.

Deacon Frig (min. UL Church of Frigginism.)

[Lothian]

Originally posted by Peter Jenkins

HERESRY!!
I am already ordained by the ULC and I say that to eat a Pizza crust first is an ABOMINATION.

Peter (min.ULC.EPP {eating Pizzas Properly}) Bloody fundy. Us more liberal ministers don't mind which bit is eated first, but we still draw the line at including pineapple within the topping, for that is an abomination, Thou shall however as written in the good book pile the toppings high and put on the mount olives.

[Some Friggin Guy]

Originally posted by Lothian
Bloody fundy. Us more liberal ministers don't mind which bit is eated first, but we still draw the line at including pineapple within the topping, for that is an abomination, Thou shall however as written in the good book pile the toppings high and put on the mount olives.

Well, naturally, pineapples shouldn't be on the pizza.

Pineapples are the fruit of Chumley: The Evil Walrus of Tennessee Tuxedo.

[Cecil]

But I like pineapple on my pizza... :(

PINEAPPLE ON THE PIZZA IS OKAYETH, says Rev. Cecil (min UL Church of Absolute Universal Doctrine ord. 1999).

[Some Friggin Guy]

Originally posted by Cecil
But I like pineapple on my pizza... :(

PINEAPPLE ON THE PIZZA IS OKAYETH, says Rev. Cecil (min UL Church of Absolute Universal Doctrine ord. 1999).

Well, being open-minded, I will say that you have the right to that, Rev. Cecil. However, you CANNOT bring a pineapple pizza into the Friggin corner of the 8 week Aprez-Life party.

[Blue Monk]

Sounds great.

Would I be 'Father Blue Monk?'

or probably 'Reverend Blue Monk.'

hey!

'Saint Blue Monk!'

Yeah I like the ring of that.

I wonder if convincing women that I could absolve them immediately after any ..ahem.. specific acts would give me any extra advantage.


I'm always thinking, folks, always thinking.

[Some Friggin Guy]

Originally posted by Blue Monk
Sounds great.

Would I be 'Father Blue Monk?'

or probably 'Reverend Blue Monk.'

hey!

'Saint Blue Monk!'

Yeah I like the ring of that.

I wonder if convincing women that I could absolve them immediately after any ..ahem.. specific acts would give me any extra advantage.


I'm always thinking, folks, always thinking.

Hmmm...I would think that as a minister, your name would be the same, but upon sanctification, your name would simply change to " Blue Saint."

[Blue Monk]

Originally posted by Some Friggin Guy


Hmmm...I would think that as a minister, your name would be the same, but upon sanctification, your name would simply change to " Blue Saint."

ooooooo I like it, hehe.

I guess I should practice acting a bit more dignified, you know, pick up the old beer cans in the yard, stuff like that.

[Some Friggin Guy]

Originally posted by Blue Monk


ooooooo I like it, hehe.

I guess I should practice acting a bit more dignified, you know, pick up the old beer cans in the yard, stuff like that.

Yeah, that might be a plan.

Now, if they were "Blue Nun" wine bottles, that would be a different story. :D

[Suezoled]

Originally posted by Cecil
But I like pineapple on my pizza... :(

PINEAPPLE ON THE PIZZA IS OKAYETH, says Rev. Cecil (min UL Church of Absolute Universal Doctrine ord. 1999).

Pineapple... with ham. Otherwise, it is abomination. So sayeth the voices that talk in my head.

-reverend Suezoled (ULC)

[sackett]

Originally posted by Suezoled


Pineapple... with ham. Otherwise, it is abomination. So sayeth the voices that talk in my head.

-reverend Suezoled (ULC)

Nobody has mentioned anchovies. What are you, a bunch of closed-minded Episcopaleans? Episcopalians? Epischopalians? Aw to hell w/ it.

[Lisa Simpson]

I want to be made a saint, so I think you are all wrong. The only good pizza is Vegitarian!!!

[Suezoled]

...ham isn't a vegetable?

[rachaella]

I should be receiving my certificate in a couple days. I feel that pineapple is a wonderful accent to any pizza except I can't have mine with cheese. Wow, I'm sure I'm in a rare sect of the church.

[wollery]

Umm, could I just have some garlic bread please?

[Lothian]

Originally posted by wollery
Umm, could I just have some garlic bread please? Certainly, blessed are the garlic eaters.

[sparklecat]

A Minister, Secretary, and Treasurer is all you need to create a Board of Directors/Congregation for your own associated ULC Church ;) (Legally recognized as a denomination, btw).

*Secretary of the United Life Church of Justineianity*


You can even purchase a fully legal Honorary Dr. of Divinity http://www.ulchq.com/materials.cfm

[Some Friggin Guy]

Sparklecat, you gave me a fantastic idea. I now have a Board of Directors/congregation.


I am now trying to find out how to get my house legally declared a church so I don't have to pay property taxes. :D

[Zep]

Originally posted by Some Friggin Guy
Sparklecat, you gave me a fantastic idea. I now have a Board of Directors/congregation.


I am now trying to find out how to get my house legally declared a church so I don't have to pay property taxes. :D You only just cottoned on to that little lurk? Geez...

You should aim higher - get your followers to chip in for a new $18M Cessna Citation 10X jet or something!

[Some Friggin Guy]

Originally posted by Zep
You only just cottoned on to that little lurk? Geez...

You should aim higher - get your followers to chip in for a new $18M Cessna Citation 10X jet or something!

Not my style, Reverend Zep.


Now, a Harley...:D

[Zep]

Originally posted by Some Friggin Guy


Not my style, Reverend Zep.


Now, a Harley...:D OK, a Harley. *sigh* It's a start. Some sort of transportation for you is another church-based tax-dodge - it's necessary for "spreading the word" and is thus a "tool of trade". So it's purchase and upkeep and running costs can be written off from your pre-tax income (so I understand anyway).

Electra Glide Classic?

http://a1276.g.akamai.net/7/1276/734/436a1100691451/www.harley-davidson.com/PR/MOT/2004/Touring/images/DOM/img_Touring_FLHTC.jpg
Photo: Harley Davidson USA (www.harleydavidson.com)

[Yahweh]

Originally posted by Suezoled
...ham isn't a vegetable?

[Some Friggin Guy]

Originally posted by Zep
OK, a Harley. *sigh* It's a start. Some sort of transportation for you is another church-based tax-dodge - it's necessary for "spreading the word" and is thus a "tool of trade". So it's purchase and upkeep and running costs can be written off from your pre-tax income (so I understand anyway).

Electra Glide Classic?

http://a1276.g.akamai.net/7/1276/734/436a1100691451/www.harley-davidson.com/PR/MOT/2004/Touring/images/DOM/img_Touring_FLHTC.jpg
Photo: Harley Davidson USA (www.harleydavidson.com)

Nah...Nighttrain! (http://www.harley-davidson.com/PR/MOT/2004/04_template.asp?bmLocale=en_US&market=US&family=Softail&model=FXSTB&modelSection=colors)

[Zep]

OK, Nighttrain!

http://a1276.g.akamai.net/7/1276/734/ef6252f0d6c540/www.harley-davidson.com/PR/MOT/2004/Softail/images/DOM/img_Softail_FXSTB_r_c01.jpg
Photo: Harley Davidson USA (www.harleydavidson.com)

[Some Friggin Guy]

That's right, Reverend Zep. See, you can't very well run a successfull church without looking like a serious @$$-beater.

[Lothian]

Originally posted by sparklecat
A Minister, Secretary, and Treasurer is all you need to create a Board of Directors/Congregation for your own associated ULC Church ;) (Legally recognized as a denomination, btw).

*Secretary of the United Life Church of Justineianity*


You can even purchase a fully legal Honorary Dr. of Divinity http://www.ulchq.com/materials.cfm Or you can print you own off for free.

http://www.ulchq.com/certs/cert*.jpg

* representing the certificate you want. Eg.

http://www.ulchq.com/certs/cert1.jpg - Doctor of Biblical studies.
7 - Doctor of the universe.
23 - Saint


Reverend Dr Lothian. Soon to be Saint, (Printer Cartridge ran out :( )

[Some Friggin Guy]

Brother Lothian, that's cheating!


(Granted, I wish I'd thought of it first.)