Craziest Conspiracy Theory Ever?

[therival58]

What's the craziest CT you ever heard? I may have a winner. I wonder if anyone else on JREF has seen this film.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3455564786503940435

It's called "Gateway Four" narrated by Stewart Best, and quite possibly contains one of the craziest conspiracy theories ever. It combines UFOs with demons, bible prophecy, the Elite NWO groups, and Project Blue Beam.

Basically, in a nutshell, it says that long ago, during the time of the flood, the "Watchers" or fallen angels, were commanded by Satan to have sex with mankind to corrupt man's seed, and that was the reason for the flood. Now soon, the watchers will return to take shape of aliens and amaze us with all sorts of mind blowing technology, and deceive mankind into not believing in God, and thus damn us all to hell. They are slowly programming us through appearing every so often as glowing orb UFOs (like the 1952 citing over the capitol) because the bible says "Satan takes form of an angel of light" And then somewhere in the mix is the elite enslaving us all to pave way for the antichrist who will work with the watchers, etc etc.

He quotes a lot of scripture and applies the whackiest interpretations (genesis 6 "sons of God"(watchers/ufos) and parts from the book of daniel 7 "Iron and clay" do not mix (seeds of watchers and mankind do not mix), and also disperses a lot of clips from UFO documentaries and movies throughout.

I actually watched the whole thing because I was amazed at how seriously he was taking this.

The best part of the video is when he talks about when he was an atheist and examining the claims of the different world faiths until his eventual conversion to Christianity. I remember him saying (just looked it up, it's actually around the 1hr 4 minute mark word for word) "I'm a skeptic, I want proof" :D

Can anyone top this?

[Greedo]

Just... wow. That whole thing should be stundie.

[Travis]

*Travis takes copious notes for his pitch to Fox for a new show this Fall*

[Scott Sommers]

How is this different from Scientology?

[Harpo]

I'll see your "Gateway Four" and raise you this lunacy:

The 2012 Enigma by David Wilcock.

Read the video description, it pretty much covers anything and everything he can crowbar into his delusion.

"2012: Tragedy, transcension or just another year? David Wilcock exposes many great secrets: DNA, consciousness science, wormholes, stargate travel, sacred geometry, three-dimensional time, the Mayan Calendar and much, much more! Part I: CONVERGENCE The Movie, consciousness energy field, Edgar Cayce reincarnation, Da Vinci Code, Inconvenient Truth, galactic alignment, dodecahedron, 2012 / DNA crop circles, sacred geometry as vibration, tetrahedron, 19.5 degrees Part II: Hans Jenny / Cymatics, space and time inverting, wave-particle duality, Buckyballs / fullerenes, DNA as a wave, Kaznacheyev, psychic healing, Dewey Larson, 3D time, space-time fabric, time-space Part III: Fairy circles, natural stargates, ESP, nested spheres, channeling, chakras, Pineal gland, Sumerian tablets, Osiris, kundalini, pine cone symbolism, Tammuz, Shiva, Third Eye, Bindi, Bacchus, Dionysus, Jesus, the Vatican Part IV: Pyramid sarcophagus, cathedral windows, the World Tree, melatonin, DMT, ayahuasca, Dreams, Out of Body Experience, the Silver Cord Part V: Mark of the Beast, microclusters, synchronicity, shamanism, holographic sound, reverse-engineering the pineal gland, Dan Burisch, Project Looking Glass, CONTACT Part VI: The Last Mimzy, the Roswell Crash, the Cube / Yellow Disc, Hellraiser, election tampering, pole shift, time-viewing technology, the Iraq War, DCTP / Doctrine of the Convergent Timeline Paradox, human-lineage ETs Part VII: Tree of Life, Illuminati, Rothschilds, Hitler, New World Order, Lucifer, Luciferian philosophy, Catholic church, Philadelphia Experiment / Rainbow Project Part VIII: Phoenix III, Montauk chair, time travel, Dec. 21, 2012, 20-year cycle, Stargate SG-1, Outer Band Individuated Teletracer / OBIT, The Outer Limits, Time Vector Generator / TVG, Mars pyramids, underground bases, jumproom, Total Recall, Minority Report, X-Men / Cerebro, Rifts in Time Part IX: Forbidden Planet, psychic conduit, LSD trips, zero-time, 2012 dimensional shift, Edgar Cayce readings, Chandler’s Wobble, pole shift, Library of Atlantis / Hall of Records, California earthquakes Part X: Create your own reality, 2012 not cataclysmic, Russian physics, Dr. Sergey Smelyakov / Auric Time Scale, Mayan Calendar, spiral imploding into 2012 changing consciousness, Ascended abilities, spiritual growth"

The guy thinks that movies like Stargate, Hellraiser and X-Men are real. Hilarious stuff!! :dl:

Warning - this is concentrated dog toffee.

http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=-4951448613711060908

[Alareth]

Bah ... They only wish thy could be Time Cube.

[Spindrift]

Corn Gods anyone?

[Scott Sommers]

I got one for you. The fate of world really hangs with a carpenter who was born 2000 years ago. He was murdered by some local bureaucrats in an obscure corner of the world, but unknown to them, he is the son of God. He was resurrected from the dead and has been waiting 2000 years for all the people in the world who are good enough to be disappeared into some form of Heavenly reward. The rest of world will plummet into war and disaster. Other people believe that to get this reward you have to talk to a special guy in a box and eat bread and other stuff that he's turned into human flesh and blood. Under no circumstances can this guy be a woman or be married. He's supposed to be a virgin. The key to understanding this is recorded in a big book, but you have to decipher the code its written in to figure out what's really going to happen.

[timhau]

I got one for you. The fate of world really hangs with a carpenter who was born 2000 years ago. He was murdered by some local bureaucrats in an obscure corner of the world, but unknown to them, he is the son of God. He was resurrected from the dead and has been waiting 2000 years for all the people in the world who are good enough to be disappeared into some form of Heavenly reward. The rest of world will plummet into war and disaster. Other people believe that to get this reward you have to talk to a special guy in a box and eat bread and other stuff that he's turned into human flesh and blood. Under no circumstances can this guy be a woman or be married. He's supposed to be a virgin. The key to understanding this is recorded in a big book, but you have to decipher the code its written in to figure out what's really going to happen.

Good job making ridiculous crap up on the spot. Nobody could ever fall for that sort of bull:rule10. The next thing you're going to tell us is that these people supposedly believe that the God these folks believe in sacrificed the son-of-God carpenter dude to himself, so he could forgive folks for all the bad stuff they've done. :rolleyes:

[Travis]

"Natural stargates?"

Do they have something against ones built by aliens?

[Hans]

Good job making ridiculous crap up on the spot. Nobody could ever fall for that sort of bull:rule10. The next thing you're going to tell us is that these people supposedly believe that the God these folks believe in sacrificed the son-of-God carpenter dude to himself, so he could forgive folks for all the bad stuff they've done. :rolleyes:

Or

That a guy who was really a 'god' could actually 'die', can you say, scam? Nonsense!

[talkie toaster]

"Natural stargates?"

Do they have something against ones built by aliens?

Yes, their fees, tolls if you will, are extortionate.

2000 Zlargs to use the quadradimensional hyperspace high occupancy vehicle lane before 9am on a weekday.....come on!!! it's a licence to print money....or in the case of Zlargs a licence to manufacture high grade Nitrillium Discomtracular with overt photon transglobular time compression excoriates.

[Spindrift]

Yes, their fees, tolls if you will, are extortionate.

2000 Zlargs to use the quadradimensional hyperspace high occupancy vehicle lane before 9am on a weekday.....come on!!! it's a licence to print money....or in the case of Zlargs a licence to manufacture high grade Nitrillium Discomtracular with overt photon transglobular time compression excoriates.

Zlargs? It doesn't take kwatloos?

[bulldog]

Armageddon Conspiracy

http://armageddonconspiracy.co.uk/

Basically this website claims that is being run by the actual Illumiati that are actually the good guys. Instead of being afraid of the NWO we should fight the OWO which is being run by an elite that uses "satanic" abrahmist religions to control us.

[jargon buster]

I vote for bulldog as the most obvious spammer ever.

[elbe]

I vote for bulldog as the most obvious spammer ever.

And that he's nominating his own spam site as the craziest conspiracy ever?

[jargon buster]

stundie anyone? :D

[JLord]

The craziest I have come accross was the one posted in this thread:

http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?t=189122

A guy believes that the musical tuning standard A=440 was implemented by a Nazi/Rockefeller group in order to cause mass panic and prevent the population from realizing true spiritual awakening. Or something like that. It's been a while. Oh and also this secret was revealed through hidden codes in the movie Inception. And yes, he is serious.

[X]

Basically, in a nutshell, it says that long ago, during the time of the flood, the "Watchers" or fallen angels, were commanded by Satan to have sex with mankind to corrupt man's seed, and that was the reason for the flood. Now soon, the watchers will return to take shape of aliens and amaze us with all sorts of mind blowing technology, and deceive mankind into not believing in God, and thus damn us all to hell. They are slowly programming us through appearing every so often as glowing orb UFOs (like the 1952 citing over the capitol) because the bible says "Satan takes form of an angel of light" And then somewhere in the mix is the elite enslaving us all to pave way for the antichrist who will work with the watchers, etc etc.



So, during the flood fallen angels had sex with humans, and that because of this the flood happened?


:confused:

Did you copy that right?

[uk_dave]

Nazi/Rockefeller group

Are they still touring?

[Horatius]

... LSD trips...


Well, at least there's one topic we can believe he's an expert on!

[Myron Proudfoot]

So, during the flood fallen angels had sex with humans, and that because of this the flood happened?


:confused:

Did you copy that right?

Well, it said "during the time of the flood" which would indicate an era, not "during" the event. So it fits. it's still crazy, but it fits..

[Nursedan]

Craziest/most unsupported CT I ever heard was Alex Jones talking about the NWO making standard practice of "shotgunning" small children and throwing babies against the wall to kill them. He said this activity is their "delicacy" if I''m not mistaken.

There is no proof of this claim.

[cwalner]

Craziest/most unsupported CT I ever heard was Alex Jones talking about the NWO making standard practice of "shotgunning" small children and throwing babies against the wall to kill them. He said this activity is their "delicacy" if I''m not mistaken.

There is no proof of this claim.

That's absolutely ridiculous. Either method would destroy the brain and that is what makes the delicacy.

[NoahFence]

"Natural stargates?"

Do they have something against ones built by aliens?

Where'd they get the naquada?

[Craig4]

Ohhhhh yeah David Wilcock, hands down it's got to be David Wilcock and his 2012 lunacy.

[cwalner]

While FOTL/sovereign citizen might not be the craziest CT out there, it receives some recognition for the completely bat**** way its adherents self destruct.

[jargon buster]

While FOTL/sovereign citizen might not be the craziest CT out there, it receives some recognition for the completely bat**** way its adherents self destruct.

Yup, with most conspiracy theories there is always some element of mystery they can cling to, but with FMOTL there is mountains of evidence and court cases where it has failed and not one where it has ever succeeded, yet still they persist.

Oh yes, its that the whole justice system is corrupt and unlawful...silly me.

[8den]

Where'd they get the naquada?

Whole Foods?

[Greedo]

Yup, with most conspiracy theories there is always some element of mystery they can cling to...
..

Good point. Or it's things that are too complicated for the layman/stupid CTer. Like with the moon hoaxers and their bad physics.

[8den]

Gentlemen gentlemen gentlemen such a thread comes up once every few years on the CT forum.

And they're good entries. They're very good. They're not

http://www.boingboing.net/images/_images_hardingtf.jpghttp://www.boingboing.net/images/_images_oswaldf.jpg

Tonya Harding Shot JFK good.

The theory. The original website has long since become defunct, is that Tanya Harding is the reincarnation of JFK shooter Lee Harvey Oswald.

Consider the evidence of reincarnation. Both Tonya Harding and Lee Harvey Oswald have the letters "Har" in their names. Both of their victims were Irish Catholics from Massachusetts whose last names began with the letters "Ke": John F. Kennedy and Nancy Kerrigan, and both were attacked in cities beginning with the letter "D": Dallas and Detroit. Time magazine also saw a connection in the assaults on Kerrigan and Kennedy. Margaret Carlson wrote in the February 21, 1994 issue, "The videocam verite of the clubbing [of Kerrigan] provides the same gritty realism that the Zapruder footage brought to Oliver Stone's JFK."

Harding and Oswald came from poor dysfunctional families and learned to use a rifle. Both were about the same age when they became infamous: Lee at 24, Tonya at 23. And they have similar facial features. Kennedy doesn't look like Kerrigan, but Kerrigan looks a bit like Jackie Kennedy. Perhaps God's joke is that JFK, the womanizer, should return in a body resembling his own wife.


See? That's proper crazy.



But how and ever,

Bah ... They only wish thy could be Time Cube.

Alareth did the CT equivalent of Godwinning the thread by post five.

There is only Timecube. Timecube is everything. Timecube lives everywhere and everywhen. There is nothing as scary and confusing as Timecube. Timecube is. Timecube is love. Timecube is science. Timecube mocks all other crazy conspiracy theories. Timecube IS.


www.timecube.com (http://www.timecube.com)

[Greedo]

Gentlemen gentlemen gentlemen such a thread comes up once every few years on the CT forum.

And they're good entries. They're very good. They're not

http://www.boingboing.net/images/_images_hardingtf.jpghttp://www.boingboing.net/images/_images_oswaldf.jpg

Tonya Harding Shot JFK good.

The theory. The original website has long since become defunct, is that Tanya Harding is the reincarnation of JFK shooter Lee Harvey Oswald.
...
See? That's proper crazy.

...


:eye-poppi

I... I... don't...

wow. That is proper crazy.

[double_o]

I'll see your "Gateway Four" and raise you this lunacy:

The 2012 Enigma by David Wilcock.

Read the video description, it pretty much covers anything and everything he can crowbar into his delusion.

"2012: Tragedy, transcension or just another year? David Wilcock exposes many great secrets: DNA, consciousness science, wormholes, stargate travel, sacred geometry, three-dimensional time, the Mayan Calendar and much, much more! Part I: CONVERGENCE The Movie, consciousness energy field, Edgar Cayce reincarnation, Da Vinci Code, Inconvenient Truth, galactic alignment, dodecahedron, 2012 / DNA crop circles, sacred geometry as vibration, tetrahedron, 19.5 degrees Part II: Hans Jenny / Cymatics, space and time inverting, wave-particle duality, Buckyballs / fullerenes, DNA as a wave, Kaznacheyev, psychic healing, Dewey Larson, 3D time, space-time fabric, time-space Part III: Fairy circles, natural stargates, ESP, nested spheres, channeling, chakras, Pineal gland, Sumerian tablets, Osiris, kundalini, pine cone symbolism, Tammuz, Shiva, Third Eye, Bindi, Bacchus, Dionysus, Jesus, the Vatican Part IV: Pyramid sarcophagus, cathedral windows, the World Tree, melatonin, DMT, ayahuasca, Dreams, Out of Body Experience, the Silver Cord Part V: Mark of the Beast, microclusters, synchronicity, shamanism, holographic sound, reverse-engineering the pineal gland, Dan Burisch, Project Looking Glass, CONTACT Part VI: The Last Mimzy, the Roswell Crash, the Cube / Yellow Disc, Hellraiser, election tampering, pole shift, time-viewing technology, the Iraq War, DCTP / Doctrine of the Convergent Timeline Paradox, human-lineage ETs Part VII: Tree of Life, Illuminati, Rothschilds, Hitler, New World Order, Lucifer, Luciferian philosophy, Catholic church, Philadelphia Experiment / Rainbow Project Part VIII: Phoenix III, Montauk chair, time travel, Dec. 21, 2012, 20-year cycle, Stargate SG-1, Outer Band Individuated Teletracer / OBIT, The Outer Limits, Time Vector Generator / TVG, Mars pyramids, underground bases, jumproom, Total Recall, Minority Report, X-Men / Cerebro, Rifts in Time Part IX: Forbidden Planet, psychic conduit, LSD trips, zero-time, 2012 dimensional shift, Edgar Cayce readings, Chandler’s Wobble, pole shift, Library of Atlantis / Hall of Records, California earthquakes Part X: Create your own reality, 2012 not cataclysmic, Russian physics, Dr. Sergey Smelyakov / Auric Time Scale, Mayan Calendar, spiral imploding into 2012 changing consciousness, Ascended abilities, spiritual growth"

The guy thinks that movies like Stargate, Hellraiser and X-Men are real. Hilarious stuff!! :dl:

Warning - this is concentrated dog toffee.

http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=-4951448613711060908
Not every thing, it doesn't have modified attack baboons.

[CompusMentus]

07August, takes some beating, even on the David Icke forum (http://forum.davidicke.com/showthread.php?p=1059707517#post1059707517) and that's saying something. Here's just a small sample of his convoluted loopy output.....



911 is the Egyptian New Year. Most occultists, pagans, or whatever they are calling themselves, posting on DI forums & other blogs on the Internet are paid to post by Ann Cappelletti, GWB's witch aunt. Ann was given the job or running the groups of witch and non-witch posters for the perps because Ann knows or has access to all the witches in the world as the queen of witches. These posters know that 911 is a date (along with 1/1) many Crowley followers/witches use to initiate rituals/curses/spells.

GWB is a master witch/occultist, son of 2 occultists. Fyi, Barbara Bush & Ann Cappelletti are illegitimate witch daughters of Aleister Crowley, conceived with sex magick (tantra) w Crowley in 1923/24 in Paris & at Abbey of Thelema, respectively, to be the antichrist. Crowley's purpose was to eliminate Christianity and procreate the antichrist w sex w hundreds of women. Pauline Pierce, 6th degree OTO, sought sex magick w Crowley to give birth to the antichrist. Crowley died in 1947 but his followers carry on his evil work.

http://cannonfire.blogspot.com/2006/...-bush-and.html
http://portland.indymedia.org/en/2006/04/337857.shtml
http://www.rense.com/general77/acrow.htm

I have learned about the Cappellettis through my own personal experience. I lived with the Cappellettis for one month in 1972 when they fed me curses of malocchio (buckeye/the evil eye) in 1987, licorice root, john the conqueror root and a pirate thumb bone carved into skull & horns, a decayed molar from my witch niece (Ann paid my witch niece to put this curse on me) in 2007. I had these things taken away by 2 spiritualists/psychics in NYC, 2 in tomatoes, 3 in eggs. I saw them as we opened the tomato or egg. I didn't know what any of this was until I researched witchcraft. I found drawings of licorice root, john the conqueror root, chestnut/buckeys on the lucky mojo website,
www.luckymojo.com,
packed with witchcraft information.

I didn't know people in the 20th century were using witchcraft. My research uncovered in the 1920s there was a huge revival of the CRAFT. You don't have to believe me, but if something awful happens, you can be sure some witch, kabbalist, mason or occultist is behind it. Republicans changed the stars in their logo to pentagrams after Bush was appointed president in 2000. Evil in U.S. govt and the world, illuminati are all practicing witchcraft to get what they want. It's a game for them. Look at the Illuminati Card Game or just watch a Nicholas Cage movie to see what is coming next. Qabala, kabbalah, cabala is jewish witchcraft from which masons took their craft.

I didn't know John Cappelletti was Aleister Crowley's grandson until 2007. Unfortunately, I had to learn how diabolical the Cappellettis are through horrible things that happened to me, misfortune and broken bones. Witches Ann, Joyce and John put on curses on me in1972. I have learned they have put curses on many people through the years (including son, Joey as a sacrifice for John's success). Barb and Ann got the Bushes into the WH w the CRAFT. They have plotted w other occultists in our evil govt to fashion evil plots on citizens of the US and the world. Witch Ann paid my niece to put a curse of a decayed molar with my evil and cousins on me. Why me? I didn't even know people were practicing witchcraft, but now I know that the U.S. elected govt is filled with occultists.

I would never have learned about people practicing the CRAFT or the curses if I did not have them take away, one in 1987, another 4 in 2007. Whether you believe me or not is not my problem. But, it is my duty to tell people what I know. We as citizens have to stand up against the evil in the govt and those who have perpetrated 911. There are so many people who work for Witch Ann who post on this forum and others. The evidence is in the lies we are fed every day. You can look into it or hide your head in the sand. Know this, groups of witches, masons, kabbalists, occultists, satanists gathered together to perform the mega ritual of 911 to steal as much money from the public as they could through fraud, initiate perpetual war to sacrifice innocents to the god baal, the horned god, jabulon, osiris, lucifer, whatever deity each occultist choses to follow to get more wealth..


Compus

[uke2se]

07August, takes some beating, even on the David Icke forum (http://forum.davidicke.com/showthread.php?p=1059707517#post1059707517) and that's saying something. Here's just a small sample of his convoluted loopy output.....






Compus

Wow...

And he's a holocaust denier as well apparently. Bears pointing out :)

[theprestige]

The Apollo Hoax CT.

The Apollo Project is probably the most thoroughly and openly documented events in human history. It happened within living memory. The evidence is accessible to all. The achievements were based on sound scientific principles that anybody can learn, and that are universally accepted by all who do learn them.

Many conspiracy theories are, to a certain extent, understandable: They deal with myths, or metaphysics, or about historical events with limited documentation. It's only natural for people to get a little bit crazy about these things.

More recent events, like the JFK assassination, or 9/11, you'd have to be a little bit crazier, since there's so much more evidence and science and eyewitness testimony available to you.

But for me, the Apollo Project tops them all. You'd have to be completely insane, or a troll of the highest order, to disbelieve the Apollo Project.

[cwalner]

The Apollo Hoax CT.
But for me, the Apollo Project tops them all. You'd have to be completely insane, or a troll of the highest order, to disbelieve the Apollo Project.

Ok, how about this version. Apollo could not have been real because it claims to have landed a man on the moon in 1969. However, Starbucks was not founded until 1971, and everybody knows you can't have Apollo without Starbuck.

Sorry, I just started re-watching Battlestar Gallactica this weekend

[BaaBaa]

07August, takes some beating, even on the David Icke forum (http://forum.davidicke.com/showthread.php?p=1059707517#post1059707517) and that's saying something. Here's just a small sample of his convoluted loopy output.....






Compus

That's almost some Francis E. Dec kookery, right there.

[Tomblvd]

Sylphs (http://educate-yourself.org/zsl/sylphstransmutechemtrails06jun04.shtml)

They are allegedly cloud creatures that protect us from chemtrails by "transmuting air into water", among other things.

It really needs to be seen to be believed....
(er, the website, not the creature)

[Ziggurat]

"Natural stargates?"

Do they have something against ones built by aliens?

Didn't you know? Artificial stargates cause cancer.

[Ziggurat]

Not every thing, it doesn't have modified attack baboons.

Where can I get these? I must have modified attack baboons.

My unmodified attack baboons have failed me for the last time.

[AnnoyingPony]

I'd say it's this (http://web.archive.org/web/20040621171832/www.whale.to/b/sp/for1.html) document, called "The Illuminati Formula Used to Create an Undetectable Total Mind Controlled Slave". Wanna know how crazy it is? Even whale.to took it down. Fortunately, I downloaded a copy for myself. For the lulz. That's all.

Oh, but how has anyone failed to mention the conspiracy that says that Stephen King killed John Lennon (http://www.lennonmurdertruth.com/)? (I wonder what Stephen King thinks of this whackjob...)

[therival58]

I'd say it's this (http://web.archive.org/web/20040621171832/www.whale.to/b/sp/for1.html) document, called "The Illuminati Formula Used to Create an Undetectable Total Mind Controlled Slave". Wanna know how crazy it is? Even whale.to took it down. Fortunately, I downloaded a copy for myself. For the lulz. That's all.

Oh, but how has anyone failed to mention the conspiracy that says that Stephen King killed John Lennon (http://www.lennonmurdertruth.com/)? (I wonder what Stephen King thinks of this whackjob...)

oh yea Fritz Springmeier I've read some of his stuff before, he's very popular with CT's obsessed about the masons/illuminati (they say he's been "silenced" by the NWO jailing him for a bank robbery he didn't commit:p)

[timhau]

Oh, but how has anyone failed to mention the conspiracy that says that Stephen King killed John Lennon (http://www.lennonmurdertruth.com/)? (I wonder what Stephen King thinks of this whackjob...)

King at least used to have a restraining order against this guy.

[L.Y.S.]

*Travis takes copious notes for his pitch to Fox for a new show this Fall*

Haha this is gold.