Fundies Say the Darndest Things! (April 25 update)

[WinAce]

FStDT! (http://users.rcn.com/rostmd/winace/fundies/)

If you've seen the April edition earlier, you can just wait till the page fully loads and click the "Read update" link to scroll down automatically. Otherwise, it makes fun for an ... interesting read from the very beginning. ;)

Pick out the best! Award nominations (like the "Pot and Kettle Prize" or "Death by Irony Overdose Certificate," but you can invent your own) are welcome.

[evildave]

Hey, Riddick's in there. Congratulations are in order!

[c4ts]

It's nice to know that our own little terrorist finally has his five minutes of infamy.

I nominate this quote for the Math Genius Award:
"If Islam is true then Christians would lose out the same as those Muslims who were deemed not good enough for paradise. Islam is a works based religion and so I could convert to Islam and still be damned. I think it would be best to put my faith in the religion which (if true) garentees a place for me in heaven just for beleiving. If the situation was that it was a 50% possibility for Christianity to be true and 50% possibility for Islam to be true statistically speaking there would be more chance in me going to heaven for choosing Christianity as there could be only 25% chance that Islam will get me into heaven."
- Bonhoffer, ChristianForums

[evildave]

A true believer in Pascal's Wager. Right down to insisting that it's OK with 'god' to pretend to believe one thing or another 'just to be safe'.

[Yahweh]

And the Love That Lord award goes to:
[Replying to (paraphrased) 'why worship him then?'] "Because he can wipe you of the face of the earth without even a word."
- Megachihuahua, ChristianForums

[MLynn]

Originally posted by evildave
Hey, Riddick's in there. Congratulations are in order!
Hey, evildave - how ironic as Riddick hates being called a "fundie"

[neutrino_cannon]

YOU ABSOLUTE BAS***D!

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT HAS DONE TO MY BRAIN?

It was bad enough that such unsalvagable idiocy, loosely definable as english, stalks what would be a glorious mecca of porn and information, but for you to gather all that toxic stupidity up and put it in one place for me to read?

Oh... I makes me...

Jeez that's funny.

Keep up the good work WinAce. :)

[Yahweh]

Now I've never seen logic like this before:
"I never before linked the idea of reincarnation and demons. I just dismissed reincarnation as being ridiculous. But it is highly likely that one demon could possess many people throughout generations. Therefore, one person could remember things from a prior lifetime. But it is not the human's prior lifetime. It is the life of the victim who was possessed during an earlier generation.

Does that make sense?"
- UNeverEverNo, RaptureReady

[Yahweh]

Or logic like this...

"AGAIN.. I will state..I am a christian, with a very open mind, but this reincarnation garbage is from the Evil one, Satan... I think these people should seek a pastor, instead of a psycho-therapist...Praying that the the Lord opens their eyes a little more...."
- wHiTe*DoVe, RaptureReady

[Crux]

This guy has all the answers:

"3 Anti-Christs One of Nostra[damus]'s predictions include the rise of false messiahs, Tyrant leaders, or what Jesus calls them Anti-christs. It was said that their will be three of them somewhere in the bible. Did you know that the world already bore the two anti-christs? 1.) Napoleon Bonaparte 2.) Aldof Hitler We are currently waiting for the third one. His personallity was already givin -the false prophets will build the road for the comming of the anti-christ- and his persona wouldn't be a violent/hatefull dictator like Hitler, but morely Exactly like Jesus (persay)... It may sound dumb...but the third anti-christ is probably ALIENS. Think of it, that is the only thing science needs to discover to prove that religions are false. If an alien from another world shows up than the belief of God/Jesus has been destroyed. False prophets/Scientists are allreasy preaching this stuff and some parts of the world believe it. UFO's have been appearing through out centuries, and everytime their is an uproar...the belief of God lowers at some percent. Since God said we are the only ones that are superior of his creation, etc. Any news of aliens will make the Bible/God a hoax... O YA: Did you know that a UFO's radius is .666?" - cisco, ChristianForums

and then he adds:

".666 i wasn't talking about inches i was talking about circles in general." - cisco, ChristianForums

[An Infinite Ocean]

I feel sorry for the poor sausage who said this:

"Sort of strange how people say the Bible was fake, when the authors lived such a long time ago, fictional stories probably haven't been invented yet."
- Faithful83, ChristianForums

Bless!

[c4ts]

Originally posted by Crux
This guy has all the answers:



and then he adds:



That one deserves a Pythagoras award.

[neutrino_cannon]

I award the "most twitch inducing post award"

To this genius:

"African Americans also tend to be black which makes it easy to identify violent criminals. How convenient. God gave us a color-coded guide, almost as good as Bush's color-coded terror alert system."
- Sambo83, BlizzForums

[Crux]

That one deserves a Pythagoras award.

Thank you. :D

I should pay attention to my own words. :)

[evildave]

Originally posted by MLynn

Hey, evildave - how ironic as Riddick hates being called a "fundie"

Well, you just gotta love it.

[Nigel]

I haven't seen that kind of crap since the 9th grade, when a guy I knew who was born again would say to people, "If you died right now, where would you go, heaven or hell?" upon first meeting them.

[Nigel]

[Replying to "how does an infant 'rebel'?"] "If you have ever spent any time around tiny babies you learn they can be very selfish and even manipulative."

Yeah, infants should get out and work in order to contribute more. The selfish turds.

[Hexxenhammer]

I don't think you people are taking these religious arguments serious enough. Pointing out others faults isn't funny. (http://www.randi.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?s=&postid=1870426418#post1870426418)

[The Don]

Dan Quayle spelling award:

"IT IS AMERICA'S CHRISTIAN DUTY TO SUPPORT ISRAEL IN PALESTINE FOR ITS RIGHT TO EXIST. HOWEVER, MAN'S POLITICS WILL NOT BRING PEACE TO THE HOLY LAND. ONLY WHEN ALL THE JEWS AND MUSLIMS THERE HAVE BEEN CONVERTED TO CHRISTIANITY WILL THERE BE PEACE IN JERUSALEM! THE US GOV'T SHOULD BE WORKING TO CHRISTIANIZE ALL THESE WARRING JEWS AND MUSLIMS IN PALESTINE TO BRING LASTING PEACE THERE.
- MR. TOMATOE HEAD"

[Brian the Snail]

Ah yes. I always find the most compelling arguments are those that are presented in block capital letters.

[Denise]

This guy probably adores Pat Robertson.
"SAME THING WITH THE SPACE SHUTTLE DISASTER... GOD could have put His finger on the damaged Space Shuttle Columbia to bring it to a safe landing on earth... but He didn't because of America's national sins like sodomy! Once again, we see clearly that gays have caused Heaven to withdraw Divine blessing and protection from America!"

[shemp]

Here's one from The Big Cheese himself:

"Scientists have shown that electrical current is generated by the human brain. According to at least one source I read, this current takes on the transmission qualities of radio signals. This explains, in some measure, why people who are very close often know what each other is thinking without spoken words being exchanged. For this reason, it is possible that Satan knows at least a little bit about what we are thinking."
- Pat Robertson*, Answers to Life's Most Challenging Questions

So does this mean that Sylvia Browne is the Devil? :D

[AtheistArchon]

- WinAce! How you been, mate?

[Upchurch]

This thread has been reported for belonging in Flame Wars. As it doesn't target a specific poster, I see no reason to move it at this time.

[Riddick]

It's making fun of Christians. Making fun of a group of people should warrant moving it to the appropriate forum. Either Flame Wars or Humor. It doesn't seek to add enlightenment to Religion and Philosophy. It is making fun of a group of people who look here for creative thinking. They should not be made fun of.

[evildave]

They make fun of everybody; it's just that the Christians provide more material than most.

[Riddick]

It should be in Flame Wars or Humor.

I don't care if it's Buddhists, Hindus, or Christians. It should be put in the proper place.

[Upchurch]

This thread has been reported for belonging on the Humor board. As there has been very little change to the thread since the last time it was reported, my "lazy missouri *ss" still sees no reason to move it at this time.

[Upchurch]

On the lighter side (http://www.randi.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=39354&pagenumber=3)Originally posted by Riddick

I think R&P posters should be able to make fun of groups of people or individuals.

[MLynn]

Originally posted by Riddick
It's making fun of Christians. Making fun of a group of people should warrant moving it to the appropriate forum. Either Flame Wars or Humor. It doesn't seek to add enlightenment to Religion and Philosophy. It is making fun of a group of people who look here for creative thinking. They should not be made fun of.
I'm not sure where a thread like this should go. It starts off going in one direction and then it goes in another. It's sad but true that those who claim to be Christians say some funny things about their faith, about theology, etc., etc. As long as I can find the thread I'm looking for I don't really care what file its in.

[Riddick]

I've got mixed feelings about the thread. On the one hand the thread starter states "making fun..." so by that account, it doesn't really belong in R&P.

But on the other hand, we have Atheists who are trying to build stronger bonds to eachother. And it is very supportive in that way. There aren't very many people with the Atheist outlook on life, so they should be able to gather around their friends and celebrate such a nice piece of work by WinAce.

Split decision.

[evildave]

Well, we could make this a civil discussion of what makes 'Fundies Say the Dandest Things!' funny or not.

Certainly it could be claimed that some of the quotes are out of context, even though wherever possible, the site appears to link directly to where they're said, and a cursory check reveals they are generally not out of context.

Certainly this board is not 'Rapture Ready', where you would be kicked off for disagreeing with the board's tenets. A lot of Christians seem to think that everything that agrees with their version of Christianity are 'offensive', and that anything said about Christianity besides portraying it in the most glowing of terms is 'Making Fun Of' Christianity.

I don't really have much sympathy for people who seem to be terribly overly sensitive about things. Although I can not measure what happens in their heart, this level of "outraged" response usually seems like an insincere attempt to close down a discussion to me.

[uruk]

Strange. Reposting what fundamentalists say to each other is "making fun" of them. I wonder what that says about what they're talking about?

[Upchurch]

Originally posted by Riddick

But on the other hand, we have Atheists who are trying to build stronger bonds to eachother.For the record, this isn't a atheist board, nor are all the people here atheists.
celebrate such a nice piece of work by WinAce.Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I do not beliee that WinAce created the above site. He merely linked to it.

edited to add: WinAce did create the site. My bad.

[Riddick]

Originally posted by Upchurch
For the record, this isn't a atheist board, nor are all the people here atheists.
Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I do not beliee that WinAce created the above site. He merely linked to it.
Now, you may say it's not an Atheist board.

But the fact is that there is predominantly Atheist thinking that goes on here. If you say otherwise, I'd put you in a state of denial of the obvious.

[csense]

Originally posted by Upchurch
This thread has been reported for belonging in Flame Wars. As it doesn't target a specific poster, I see no reason to move it at this time.


Would this not be factually incorrect.

The critiques in fact do target specific posters, albeit from another forum.

You may or may not have a clause, or even an intellectual understanding within the rules that accounts for such conditions, but to say that they do not target specific posters is incorrect.

[evildave]

Actually, it appears that WinAce could in fact be a major component of the site (if not merely a fanboy that took the same handle), so if you liked, you could claim this was technically 'advertising'.

Of course, someone who came to visit from http://www.csicop.org and made reference to an article of interest on their site might fall into the same category.

Tough call.

[Upchurch]

Originally posted by Riddick

But the fact is that there is predominantly Atheist thinking that goes on here.There are lots of kinds of thought that goes on here. I'd say the predominate kind would be "skeptical" thinking. If you want to equate that to "atheist", that's your choice.

[Upchurch]

Originally posted by csense

The critiques in fact do target specific posters, albeit from another forum. Yes, you are correct. It is the convention of the board that when we speak of "posters" we are referring to "JREF posters" unless otherwise specified. I'm sorry if that was not clear.

[WinAce]

Originally posted by AtheistArchon
- WinAce! How you been, mate?

Hi, AA! I've been fine. Mostly reading stuff offline (like Raymond Brown's huge Introduction to the New Testament) for the time being, but I'm still writing stuff as well (and participating at a few message boards). I'm also involved with the LordCo centre, a really great parody website. And, of course, updating FStDT! from time to time...

What've you been up to since you got that big atheist activist job in Georgia?

Originally posted by Riddick
It's making fun of Christians.

Actually, it's making fun of crappy arguments. You'll notice I've included an Objectivist in this issue, Muslims in past issues, etc. There's nothing about the web page that specifically requires Christianity, or even theism--just ridiculously illogical beliefs and/or arguments related to a cherished ideology. Christians just happen to take up the bulk of those in the US.

Originally posted by evildave
Well, we could make this a civil discussion of what makes 'Fundies Say the Dandest Things!' funny or not.

Fine by me.

As a skeptic for many years, my personal favorites are usually the prophecy posts. In this issue, there's one where the person predicts "Bin Laden, patsy of the CIA, will nuke Miami when the New World Order makes him..." He actually predicts it by autumn, IIRC. I'm really looking forward to the ad hoc explanations when that comes to pass. It's a morbid fascination of mine to see what depths people will go to not admit they were wrong about divine inspiration.

Originally posted by evildave
Actually, it appears that WinAce could in fact be a major component of the site (if not merely a fanboy that took the same handle), so if you liked, you could claim this was technically 'advertising'.

Guilty as charged. :) But I like to think people would enjoy the site equally well if someone else brought it up.

[c4ts]

Originally posted by Riddick
I've got mixed feelings about the thread. On the one hand the thread starter states "making fun..." so by that account, it doesn't really belong in R&P.

But on the other hand, we have Atheists who are trying to build stronger bonds to eachother. And it is very supportive in that way. There aren't very many people with the Atheist outlook on life, so they should be able to gather around their friends and celebrate such a nice piece of work by WinAce.

Split decision.

Actually a lot of posters come here for the exchange of ideas, though at this particular part of the forum, there are not as many as their should be. A few posters do ask for support from fellow athiests, but nobody's done it on this thread. Mostly the discussion has been about the levels of absurdidty to which religious doctrine can be taken, made evident by the quotes in "Fundies Say the Darndest Things." Not that all fundies are assumed to be stupid, only that there are a few stupid things that have been said by various people who identify themselves as highly religious as level that it is considered "fundamentalism" by those who are not members of their particular organization, which is why we call them "fundies."