Atheism Jack T. Chick style [Archive]

c4ts

27th April 2004, 06:23 PM

Haw haw haw. Do not MOCK the LORD, because I know who you really are, Satan!

Riddick, would you care to comment? Are atheists in fact the Devil trying to trick you into going to hell?

shemp

27th April 2004, 06:27 PM

OK, this thread has humor in it! I DEMAND it be moved to the Humor forum immediately!

c4ts

27th April 2004, 06:30 PM

Hey, Christian paranoia is a serious illness that must be treated by proving a negative to be absolutely true!

phildonnia

27th April 2004, 06:32 PM

Originally posted by Kilted_Canuck
Ahhh, Jack, creepy and out of touch as always.

Totally out of touch. I mean who does "acid" any more?

c4ts

27th April 2004, 06:35 PM

The hippies at my college do it all the time.

jaderook01

27th April 2004, 06:54 PM

I know some folks who still do "acid."

Anyway, anyone else ever have the misfortune of being given a Chick Tract by a person who was serious? I was cornered in Sunday School at the age of nine with one after suggesting we play D&D. (My version of it anyway. I loved the cartoon. I wanted to be the girl with the invisibility cloak.)

Yahweh

27th April 2004, 07:09 PM

Originally posted by c4ts
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0003/0003_01.asp
I think if there is any way you can really punch someone in the ego, I think its announcing at the scene of a suicide that a person is going to spend 999,999,999,999999,999,999,999999,999,999,999999,999,999,999999,999,999,999 (and then some) years in torturous Hell because he died in sin... years ago, this same thing happened at the funeral of momma Yahweh's friend, someone was kicked out a funeral for announcing that being a Catholic, this person is probably being fried on one of Satan's skewers at the moment.

Jesus loves you, but he'll send you straight to Hell if you dont affirm his existence to satisfy his insecurities, he'll MAKE YOU PAY!!!!

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0021/0021_01.asp
Nothing like fear to coax a small mind...

Abdul Alhazred

27th April 2004, 07:15 PM

Aside from Chick's tin ear for dialog, "Bad Bob" is actually a believeable story. Uneducated tough guy gets saved. No bizarre ending in Hell or in front of Doctor No-Face.

I'm sure it happens all the time.

neutrino_cannon

27th April 2004, 07:55 PM

I wonder if somewhere out there, there's a muslim equivlent of JTC.

I wonder, if somewhere out there, there's a television producer debased and desperate enough to consider doing a nationwide televised deathmatch between the two.

I wonder If I've got enough popcorn.

It's funny, JTC charcterizes atheists as being led to ignorance and callousness by their misguided philosophy.

Almost exactly the same way (the royal) we might be tempted to characterize fundamentalists.

Not entirely a fair statement though. JTC is a special case. I don't think the term "basket" is sufficient, I therefoe dub Chick a "bucket case"

Vorticity

27th April 2004, 08:36 PM

Originally posted by c4ts
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0003/0003_01.asp
Is it just me, or do the last two panels of this one seem like the climax of an episode of Scooby Doo?

Wilma: Then who is the vampire zombie?
Ted (pulling rubber mask off of vampire zombie): Mr. Prescott!
Mr. Prescott: I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!

Jas

27th April 2004, 10:16 PM

I'm not sure if my favourite Chick tract is the D&D one, the suicide bomber one, or the one where the kid convinces his bio prof that evolution never happened. I would love to see the evolution one happen in real life. The closest I've seen is in Arky class.

Zep

28th April 2004, 12:45 AM

Chick's more deluded than Winston Wu.

Abdul Alhazred

28th April 2004, 01:13 AM

Originally posted by Zep
Chick's more deluded than Winston Wu.

Chick's delusions are a very profitable business, Wu's are not (at least for him).

LuxFerum

28th April 2004, 01:23 AM

Originally posted by shemp
OK, this thread has humor in it! I DEMAND it be moved to the Humor forum immediately!
I would, but now you put a moderation issue on it, so it is not 100% humor.:D

twillis

28th April 2004, 06:27 AM

Originally posted by Abdul Alhazred
Aside from Chick's tin ear for dialog, "Bad Bob" is actually a believeable story. Uneducated tough guy gets saved. No bizarre ending in Hell or in front of Doctor No-Face.

I'm sure it happens all the time.

Is Bad Bob the one where the big bad prison guy gets saved, reads the bible, and announces that there will be no more prison rape because homosexuality is wrong?

But not because having sex with someone against their will is wrong. Eeesh.

Came across that one long time ago. I think if I'd found it recently, I would try to correct all the logical errors, or at least those that would fit in the margins, and leave it lying around.

Matabiri

28th April 2004, 07:08 AM

Originally posted by twillis
Is Bad Bob the one where the big bad prison guy gets saved, reads the bible, and announces that there will be no more prison rape because homosexuality is wrong?

No, that's The Bull (http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0036/0036_01.asp).

"There will be no more raping, because I just found out that God hates sodomy!"

At which point a bright-eyed man just below the speech bubble exclaims, "What?" I can't work out if he's pleased or disappointed.

Abdul Alhazred

28th April 2004, 07:34 AM

Originally posted by Matabiri

No, that's The Bull (http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0036/0036_01.asp).

"There will be no more raping, because I just found out that God hates sodomy!"

At which point a bright-eyed man just below the speech bubble exclaims, "What?" I can't work out if he's pleased or disappointed.

The Bull is utterly implausible. Bad Bob is on the order of something that could happen.

twillis

28th April 2004, 09:23 AM

Originally posted by Matabiri

No, that's The Bull (http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0036/0036_01.asp).

"There will be no more raping, because I just found out that God hates sodomy!"

At which point a bright-eyed man just below the speech bubble exclaims, "What?" I can't work out if he's pleased or disappointed.

Ah, yes, thanks.

Another great one is the one where the Christian convinces the Muslim that he's made the wrong bet, because of what it says in the Bible.

Marian

28th April 2004, 01:05 PM

Oh damn. I was going to post the 'Who will be eaten first' tract (which is a parody of Chick tracts featuring Cthulhu).

I went here: http://www.howardhallis.com/bis/cthulhuchick/

And it was gone. They explain why though (basically Chick has unleashed the legal hounds before on people, and sent them a C&D).

I think I saved it somewhere on my computer though, at least I hope so. That was funny stuff. Wish I could share it, but it was basically a Chick tract if Chick tracts were about Cthulhu. :D I'd rehost it but it would probably violate rules here, and then Jack Chick would get mad, and then if there was a hell I'd be going to it, yadda yadda yadda. ;)

TriangleMan

28th April 2004, 01:55 PM

Originally posted by twillis

Another great one is the one where the Christian convinces the Muslim that he's made the wrong bet, because of what it says in the Bible.

That is one of my favourites as well. I always laughed at those Chick tracts where a person from (religion X) converts to Christianity because someone tells him a few passages from the Bible.

"Did you know Jesus is the one true saviour?"

"Oh my, just from hearing that I realize I have been following the wrong religion my whole life!" :D

DarkMagician

28th April 2004, 01:58 PM

Originally posted by TriangleMan
"Did you know Jesus is the one true saviour?"

"Oh my, just from hearing that I realize I have been following the wrong religion my whole life!" :D TOO SUBTLE!!!

A_Feeble_Mind

28th April 2004, 02:17 PM

Originally posted by Marian
Oh damn. I was going to post the 'Who will be eaten first' tract (which is a parody of Chick tracts featuring Cthulhu).

I went here: http://www.howardhallis.com/bis/cthulhuchick/

And it was gone. They explain why though (basically Chick has unleashed the legal hounds before on people, and sent them a C&D).

I think I saved it somewhere on my computer though, at least I hope so. That was funny stuff. Wish I could share it, but it was basically a Chick tract if Chick tracts were about Cthulhu. :D I'd rehost it but it would probably violate rules here, and then Jack Chick would get mad, and then if there was a hell I'd be going to it, yadda yadda yadda. ;)

Just for you, Marian:

http://www.ibiblio.org/esrblog/index.php?m=200312#135

RandFan

28th April 2004, 03:48 PM

Originally posted by A_Feeble_Mind
Just for you, Marian:

http://www.ibiblio.org/esrblog/index.php?m=200312#135 Thank you. And if anyone is deserving of being mocked it is Chick. I don't see why this can't be done?

Quester_X

28th April 2004, 04:06 PM

Here's a good site for Jack Chick parodies. The links are on the right. Some are better than others, but all of them are good for a laugh. Um, I wouldn't look at these at work, though. Some of the jokes are a bit, shall we say, naughty.

http://www.weirdcrap.com/chick

Quester_X

28th April 2004, 04:08 PM

Forgot to say, the parodies are in the archive. Tried to link directly to there, but it didn't work. As a side effect of that, there's going to be an audio clip, I tried to bypass it... shouldn't be too offensive.

Zep

28th April 2004, 04:43 PM

Originally posted by Marian
Oh damn. I was going to post the 'Who will be eaten first' tract (which is a parody of Chick tracts featuring Cthulhu).

I went here: http://www.howardhallis.com/bis/cthulhuchick/

And it was gone. They explain why though (basically Chick has unleashed the legal hounds before on people, and sent them a C&D).

I think I saved it somewhere on my computer though, at least I hope so. That was funny stuff. Wish I could share it, but it was basically a Chick tract if Chick tracts were about Cthulhu. :D I'd rehost it but it would probably violate rules here, and then Jack Chick would get mad, and then if there was a hell I'd be going to it, yadda yadda yadda. ;) Hint: Host it on a non-US site (plenty available!) and provide the links to it. Let Chick try and sue then! Not a hope in hell... :D

Jas

28th April 2004, 09:55 PM

Originally posted by Matabiri

No, that's The Bull (http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0036/0036_01.asp).

"There will be no more raping, because I just found out that God hates sodomy!"

At which point a bright-eyed man just below the speech bubble exclaims, "What?" I can't work out if he's pleased or disappointed.

Given the Bull's size, I should think that he would be more worried about a heart attack, than getting his *ss raped.

rustypouch

29th April 2004, 09:27 AM

Originally posted by TriangleMan

That is one of my favourites as well. I always laughed at those Chick tracts where a person from (religion X) converts to Christianity because someone tells him a few passages from the Bible.

"Did you know Jesus is the one true saviour?"

"Oh my, just from hearing that I realize I have been following the wrong religion my whole life!" :D

It reminds me of this:
http://www.jebus-is-lord.com/howto/conversion/atheist/

Checkmite

29th April 2004, 09:58 AM

If you want to see some Chick-style ubertracts, go to http://www.thetruthforyouth.com/ . They've got full-color comics which deal with deadly sins such as birth control and homosexuality, complete with links for getting "discrete help" if the comic makes you change your evil ways. Especially funny are the Rock Music comic, and the Evolution comic (in which some school children inform their science teacher that their evolution textbook is wrong because it includes the Piltdown Man). And of course, every comic has a "bottom line" link, which is basically a large version of the last frame in a Chick tract (which suggests it's related to Chick).

Frostbite

29th April 2004, 10:34 AM

I don't care what people say, Jack T. Chick rocks.

MLynn

29th April 2004, 11:08 AM

Originally posted by Zep
Hint: Host it on a non-US site (plenty available!) and provide the links to it. Let Chick try and sue then! Not a hope in hell... :D
Isn't parody protected under the First Amendment?

Hexxenhammer

29th April 2004, 11:15 AM

Originally posted by MLynn

Isn't parody protected under the First Amendment? Yes, but that doesn't stop someone from suing if they want. Then the defender needs to hire a lawyer, lose time to dealing with the lawsuit, etc, etc... To big a hassle for most people. Easier to just take the thing down. It's still censorship though.

Abdul Alhazred

29th April 2004, 01:18 PM

Originally posted by MLynn

Isn't parody protected under the First Amendment?

Parody is protected, but using copyrighted artwork is not. You want parody, do your own artwork.

So the Cthulu one is protected, but some stuff that was originally at the WierdCrap site is not.

MLynn

29th April 2004, 01:21 PM

Thanks, Hex & Abdul for the clarification. I always wondered.

Quester_X

29th April 2004, 02:05 PM

The webmaster of the wierdcrap site has an interesting section on his legal battles with Jack Chick's representatives. He did come to realize that his parodies were using Chick's art, so he and the other artists simply copied Chick's style. A novel idea, I thought... If you're interested in any of this, it's on the site under the heading "Attack Of Jack Chick".

DarkMagician

29th April 2004, 03:40 PM

Originally posted by Joshua Korosi
If you want to see some Chick-style ubertracts, go to http://www.thetruthforyouth.com/ . They've got full-color comics which deal with deadly sins such as birth control and homosexuality, complete with links for getting "discrete help" if the comic makes you change your evil ways. Especially funny are the Rock Music comic, and the Evolution comic (in which some school children inform their science teacher that their evolution textbook is wrong because it includes the Piltdown Man). And of course, every comic has a "bottom line" link, which is basically a large version of the last frame in a Chick tract (which suggests it's related to Chick). I saw the site & movie. How much propaganda and outright lies can you fit on one site?

Yahweh

29th April 2004, 04:41 PM

neutrino_cannon

29th April 2004, 11:59 PM

Read the one on school violence.

That is truly bizzare, even Chick is rarely that wierd.

Add that to the list of phrases you thought you'd never, ever hear.

Somebody needs to parody these, bigtime.

Preferably something with high octane and a lot of pizzaz.