If you won't date outside of your race, are you racist?

[derchin]

I'm on the fence.

[Gord_in_Toronto]

I'm on the fence.

My wife won't let me date anyone. :mad:

[TubbaBlubba]

If you don't want to date someone precisely because they don't belong to your race? Yeah, probably.


Another issue is not feeling people outside one's own race are attractive. I don't have that problem myself, but I know others who do. It's hard to call that feeling racist.

[PhantomWolf]

If race is your sole reason for not dating someone, ie, you are attracted to them, they are to you, you like them, you have similar interests and you'd ask them out, or say yes if they asked you, if they were your race, then yes, quite probably.

If there are other reasons, you're not attacted to them, they have different interests that you can't stand, they're really annoying and your wouldn't date them regardless, then no.

[AJM8125]

I'm on the fence.

It depends on the reason why you won't date outside your race, doesn't it. :rolleyes:

[RecoveringYuppy]

If the only racial distinction you make in your life is who you can have romantic feelings for then no need to worry about being a bigot. If the races you won't date are also the races you won't work with, share a water fountain with, ride the bus with or tolerate on your golf course then problem.

Somewhere in between? Maybe.

[geni]

Well we know from okcupid that race is a significant factor:

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-race-affects-whether-people-write-you-back/

[Smackety]

What if you only find people of other races attractive?

[theprestige]

My dilemma is even worse: I don't find black, asian, hispanic, gothic, anorexic, or bimbo pornstars exciting.










ETA: Except for Belladonna, who somehow makes "gothic anorexic bimbo" work.

[gnome]

I agree with the post above... if you discover that none of the people you're attracted to are of a different race, it's not worth much worry.

If you refuse to consider dating outside of you race on principle, well, that principle might be racism.

[Apathia]

And if you don't same sex date, are you homophobic?

I have perfect equality in this matter. I don't date anyone. :train

[lionking]

I'm not even sure what my race is. Seriously.

[Moss]

I'm not even sure what my race is. Seriously.

Yowie.

[lionking]

Yowie.

Hey, not bad. I'm pretty certain they don't have "race" on our census, but if they did, Yowie would do me.

[Amazer]

Hey, not bad. I'm pretty certain they don't have "race" on our census, but if they did, Yowie would do me.

Ewww... why would Yowie only do you when "race" is on the census? Does he/she/it have some kind of weird fetish?

[Caper]

If you won't date blacks because you hate blacks.... yeah I suppose you have a problem. But there are alot of other issues when dealing with inter racial marriage..... how society views you... feelings of either family.... and I'm sure there are others. None of them would stop me.... but to others it just might not be worth the hastle. I never even wheeled women outside my race... on of my big regrets.

[Polaris]

My dilemma is even worse: I don't find black, asian, hispanic, gothic, anorexic, or bimbo pornstars exciting.

ETA: Except for Belladonna, who somehow makes "gothic anorexic bimbo" work.

In Belladonna's case, that's no cause for alarm. It's only evidence that your libido still works.

If you won't date blacks because you hate blacks.... yeah I suppose you have a problem. But there are alot of other issues when dealing with inter racial marriage..... how society views you... feelings of either family.... and I'm sure there are others. None of them would stop me.... but to others it just might not be worth the hastle. I never even wheeled women outside my race... on of my big regrets.

It's probably just me, but I've noticed that the most objections I've come across to interracial dating/couples come from women. Yeah, it's anecdotal, so feel free to disregard this, but of the men I know versus the women I know, by far it's the women (or at least their girl friends) who are opposed to dating outside one's race. Come to think of it, I don't know a man among my friends who hasn't dated (or isn't currently dating) outside his race.

"You should stick with your own kind," is ugly no matter who it comes from. So my answer to the OP is yes, without question. Imagine a black man who's told by a woman (of any race), "sorry, I'd love to date you, but you're black." It's no less a punch in the stomach to hear that if you're white, or Asian, or Middle Eastern, etc.

I found the OKCupid charts (yeah, I'll fess up to being a member) interesting in that the matches with regards to Indians, both male and female, only were marked against other Indians. My experience has been that that is the most insular ethnic group.

[Tatyana]

I found the OKCupid charts (yeah, I'll fess up to being a member) interesting in that the matches with regards to Indians, both male and female, only were marked against other Indians. My experience has been that that is the most insular ethnic group.

Or you could say that White-European is the most insular. It really depends on how you look at it.

Mixed-race people are the fastest growing ethnic group in the UK and numbered approximately 1 million in 2009.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mixed_(United_Kingdom_ethnicity_category)

[Travis]

My little brother has never dated anyone of his own race. His ladies have all been Asian or black.

[Ryokan]

When it comes to dating, I'm very open and including.. :) I must, however, confess that I rarely find black/African girls attractive - though there are exceptions. It's purely based on aesthetics, though. Don't know what that makes me.

[The Dark Lord]

I'm (half) black and I've never dated a black women.

[crimresearch]

And if you don't same sex date, are you homophobic?
This

[wasapi]

Let's say you meet someone you find attractive. They are single, and after a few conversations you realize they are intelligent, funny, interesting, and seem interested in you. However, you do not ask them out because they are brown, black, pink, green, whatever. I believe that is a type of racism.

[angrysoba]

I think it depends on a few things. If you simply don't find people of another "race" attractive then you might not want to date them because, well... why should you, if you simply don't find them attractive? It isn't about a principle. A racist might say that their choice to not date someone is based on some belief about that other person's particular "race" other than the level of attractiveness such as a fear that their children will end up stupid, disabled or whatever else racists think is wrong with different "races".

But having said that, being a racist is not a sufficient innoculation against dating outside one's "race". Plenty of racists seem to find the object of their hatred sexually alluring at the same time.

[Noztradamus]

You are racist if you object to other people dating outside their race.

[Beerina]

I'm not racist. I'll have you know "Blacks on Blondes, Lesbian Edition VI" is one of my favorite tapes of all time.

[Amazer]

You are racist if you object to other people dating outside their race.

This.... in a nut shell

[BStrong]

I would imagine that an individual would not be sexually attracted to a given ethnic type, and not be racist, but if an individual rejects any possible partner specificly because they're not of the same race, I'd believe on the face of it that the theindividual in question was racist.

[I Ratant]

If you don't want to date someone precisely because they don't belong to your race? Yeah, probably.


Another issue is not feeling people outside one's own race are attractive. I don't have that problem myself, but I know others who do. It's hard to call that feeling racist.
.
There was a show-stopping black woman at the Mall yesterday.
Sheer feminine perfection.
And the Hispanics!!!!
And the Asians!!!
Luvs 'em all!

[I Ratant]

In Belladonna's case, that's no cause for alarm. It's only evidence that your libido still works.



It's probably just me, but I've noticed that the most objections I've come across to interracial dating/couples come from women. Yeah, it's anecdotal, so feel free to disregard this, but of the men I know versus the women I know, by far it's the women (or at least their girl friends) who are opposed to dating outside one's race. Come to think of it, I don't know a man among my friends who hasn't dated (or isn't currently dating) outside his race.

"You should stick with your own kind," is ugly no matter who it comes from. So my answer to the OP is yes, without question. Imagine a black man who's told by a woman (of any race), "sorry, I'd love to date you, but you're black." It's no less a punch in the stomach to hear that if you're white, or Asian, or Middle Eastern, etc.

I found the OKCupid charts (yeah, I'll fess up to being a member) interesting in that the matches with regards to Indians, both male and female, only were marked against other Indians. My experience has been that that is the most insular ethnic group.
.
I've encountered that also.
My feelings on the matter is that neither person is my underage child, nor my spouse, so I have no say in who likes who.
I see two people that like each other.
How can that be wrong?

[TragicMonkey]

The problem with generalities is that they are generalities. When talking about attraction, it's the individual in question who matters. I've heard a lot of people talk about what "types" they find attractive, and, in general theory, they might be sound. But then someone of a very different "type" walks by and that individual happens to be very attractive anyway, and suddenly the "types I am attracted to" has an exception, if not a complete revision.

[Trakar]

I'm on the fence.

I think it boils down to what the term "racist" means to the individual. I think most people have at least instances and areas of general preference regarding other people. To a degree these preferences are "ism/ists" in their formulation. I believe that it matters most how exclusively and rigidly we apply these preferences, how big a part of our daily decision-making the preferences playout and how vigorously we defend/promote these preferences as to whether the issue is simply personal preference/predilection or more problematic bigoted prejudice.

[Cleon]

Depends on how you mean "race."

If we're talking a black-white thing, I don't think even the Grand Dragon of the KKK would kick Beyonce Knowles out of bed.

OTOH, if we're talking about people mating with Kardashians, well, I see no reason for society to legally sanction such repulsive behavior.

[jasonpatterson]

In the most basic sense, if you've made decisions about a person based on his or her race, then you've racially discriminated. That's what the words mean, whether the decision was positive or negative.

Suppose for some reason you found light colored skin universally unattractive, so much so that you couldn't imagine being with someone so physically repugnant. You wouldn't be racist for not dating people with light colored skin, whatever race they belonged to (though incredibly shallow is certainly an apt descriptor...) However, if you decided that you would not date white people, whether you found them attractive or not, of course you would be racist.

It's difficult to believe that any person would not be able to find a single attractive partner (mentally, physically, etc) in any racial group without racism entering the picture.

[Caper]

I want to add that you can be a racist and still date people from other races have friends from other races, ect. Some of the most racist people I've met were people who have had lots of interactions with other groups, including dating. People are more nuanced then you think.

[Humes fork]

The appearance of women from a certain part of the world (no, not Sweden) can really melt my heart. Women from some parts of the world (no, not Sweden) I tend not to find very good-looking. It's not racism, it's just your taste and emotions.

I think men will naturally go to the women (and vice versa) they find good-looking, whether they think about it or not. The appearance of someone (and whether you are attracted to it or not) is usually the first thing you notice.

[Tsukasa Buddha]

It is interesting that porn tends to be so strictly divided based on race. Porn simply featuring a non-white cast member gets sent to its own section, almost like a kink. From what I've heard. So I'm betting sexual attraction has a "racist" element.

It could also be simple social environment. Many groups "self-segregate" in this way, and many areas are 97% White.

[TubbaBlubba]

.
There was a show-stopping black woman at the Mall yesterday.
Sheer feminine perfection.
And the Hispanics!!!!
And the Asians!!!
Luvs 'em all!

All women I know, personally or otherwise, that I place in the "most beautiful I know" category have been black or mulatto.

Dating... Okay, I've dated a grand total of two women. One was half West African/half North European, the other was all North European.

Race is not something I think of actively, but it surely affects my judgment. And some ethnicities are simply generally better looking than others, in my eyes. Not much to do about that...

[I Ratant]

All women I know, personally or otherwise, that I place in the "most beautiful I know" category have been black or mulatto.

Dating... Okay, I've dated a grand total of two women. One was half West African/half North European, the other was all North European.

Race is not something I think of actively, but it surely affects my judgment. And some ethnicities are simply generally better looking than others, in my eyes. Not much to do about that...
.
It's what's inside the skin that matters. Personality, intellect, joy of living...
But "delicate shadings" can improve the presentation. :p

[Caper]

I hear interracial divorce rates are higher. That would concern me as well.

[Marduk]

I'm not even sure what my race is. Seriously.

probably Homo Sapiens
;)

[Howie Felterbush]

probably Homo Sapiens
;)

If you date outside that group, you're not racist, you're just a sick ****.:jaw-dropp

[TubbaBlubba]

probably Homo Sapiens
;)

That's a species.

[Nessie]

If your motive is to have no contact with another race because of hatred and desire to preserve your own ethnic gene pool, you are a racist.

If you just don't find people of another race as attractive as your own, your not.

[leftysergeant]

I hear interracial divorce rates are higher. That would concern me as well.Part of that could be from social pressure. I nearly had somethinggoing with a black lady in North Carolina until someone took a couple shots at us. The stress was a bit much for her.

[angrysoba]

If you date outside that group, you're not racist, you're just a sick ****.:jaw-dropp

So speciesist!

[DC]

just watched something that might be interesting here.

teyvcs2S4mI

[Humes fork]

I hear interracial divorce rates are higher. That would concern me as well.

It might be caused by cultural differences rather than racial differences.

[Humes fork]

It is interesting that porn tends to be so strictly divided based on race. Porn simply featuring a non-white cast member gets sent to its own section, almost like a kink. From what I've heard. So I'm betting sexual attraction has a "racist" element.

People get turened on all sorts of things. You can find porn-fetishes about MILFs, fat people and other categories not based on race. You simply strive to find racism wherever you can find it, so you find it everywhere.

It could also be simple social environment. Many groups "self-segregate" in this way, and many areas are 97% White.

Is 97% more racist than 97% Asian?

[Tsukasa Buddha]

People get turened on all sorts of things. You can find porn-fetishes about MILFs, fat people and other categories not based on race. You simply strive to find racism wherever you can find it, so you find it everywhere.

:confused: I don't think we're on the same page here.

Is 97% more racist than 97% Asian?

Again, not sure where you are going or coming from.

[fuelair]

I'm not even sure what my race is. Seriously.100 metre dash most likely.

[Robrob]

You are racist if you object to other people dating outside their race.

Yep. (http://calitreview.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Bingo-trollface.jpg)

[Caper]

It might be caused by cultural differences rather than racial differences.

Yeah I agree 100%. When I hear these stories about people marrying from different parts of the world and then they divorce... next thing you know one parent is fleeing with the kids. That would scare me a bit about marrying someone from a completely different part of the world.

[JJM 777]

people marrying from different parts of the world and then they divorce... next thing you know one parent is fleeing with the kids.
In most countries underage kids cannot get a passport without permission from both parents. And even if they escape abroad, in most countries the police cooperate and will enforce the guardianship decision that will be decided in court.

Besides, marrying a local guy is no guarantee against the guy getting an international job and moving abroad with the kids.

[leftysergeant]

Besides, marrying a local guy is no guarantee against the guy getting an international job and moving abroad with the kids.

Or one or the other might disappear into a religous community doing a Rapture watch up in some remote mountain range.