Using eBay to discipline unruly teenager

[zakur]

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=62054&item=8107675670&rd=1

[Tez]

Originally posted by zakur
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=62054&item=8107675670&rd=1

Kinda sad that the parent seems more worried about the money than the 13 year old kid trying to hide his drinking from them...

[Nasarius]

If the story's true (see Snopes (http://www.snopes.com/love/revenge/weddress.asp) for an example of using an elaborate story to generate publicity on eBay), it disgusts me that they would publicly humiliate their child like this.

And I agree with Tez, although at 13, it seems somewhat normal to be curious about alcohol.

[Tez]

Originally posted by Nasarius
And I agree with Tez, although at 13, it seems somewhat normal to be curious about alcohol.

True. I guess what they really should worry about is the kids' pathetic attempts at circumspect drinking. The kid appears to be a dumbass :eek: (though, given the quality of the parenting,.... )

[Ove]

Well the boy obviously isn't very bright and it is very easy to see where he inherited this (lack of) brightness from.;)

[gnome]

If all a kid cares about is their PS2, sooner or later you have to threaten the privilege to have any kind of punishment value. That said, I would not take a child's property and sell it... I believe that is wrong.

I would have been more tempted to pack away the PS2, and say he can have it back in x amount of time, or when he works some of it off his allowance, or whatnot.

[ShowMe]

Originally posted by Nasarius
it disgusts me that they would publicly humiliate their child like this.

It isn't a "public humiliation". If his real name were on there, or a picture, or an address, or something that could even vaguley identify him to the masses you could call it a public humiliation....as it stands, it's a story referencing an anonymous teenager.

Personally, I think they should have taken a much tougher stance. I hope that selling his PS/2 is only the beginning of his punishment.

Assuming, of course, that the story is true.

[Phrost]

Originally posted by gnome
If all a kid cares about is their PS2, sooner or later you have to threaten the privilege to have any kind of punishment value. That said, I would not take a child's property and sell it... I believe that is wrong.

I would have been more tempted to pack away the PS2, and say he can have it back in x amount of time, or when he works some of it off his allowance, or whatnot.

I disagree.

Look at it from a practical perspective as a parent:

1. A PS2 costs around $200.

2. Console Gaming systems can't easily be upgraded like computers, and are constantly being replaced with newer systems.

3. Children do not own property, their parents do.

[gnome]

Originally posted by Phrost


I disagree.

Look at it from a practical perspective as a parent:

1. A PS2 costs around $200.

2. Console Gaming systems can't easily be upgraded like computers, and are constantly being replaced with newer systems.

3. Children do not own property, their parents do.

A friend of mine was raised that way, where nothing he owned as a child was his. His parents were free to destroy or take away anything he owned.

Today, he is obsessed with property, especially with the idea that someone might take something away from him. It makes him pretty miserable in this material society.

While you might have the legal right to take what your child percieves to be his property, that does not make it good parenting.

[richardm]

A 6' 3" thirteen year old? Build 'em big in America, do you?

[gnome]

Originally posted by richardm
A 6' 3" thirteen year old? Build 'em big in America, do you?

I've seen it. There's a young teen-ager that hangs around with a friend's son that is taller than any adult in the house.

[BPSCG]

Originally posted by gnome
A friend of mine was raised that way, where nothing he owned as a child was his. His parents were free to destroy or take away anything he owned. In this instance (again, with the obligatory "if it's really true" disclaimer), let's not forget what precipitated the auction in the first place.

Junior wrecked mom's trumpet and got into parent's expensive champagne (troubling that she's more ticked about the loss of the expensive champagne than the fact that he's drinking alchol at all). He clumsily tried to evade responsibility for his actions.

Are we supposed to believe that while Mom and Dad's property is fair game for Junior's mischief, his is sacrosanct?

Some years ago, one of my nephews decided that what belonged to his sister was his to "borrow" whenever he saw fit, without so much as a "by your leave". He particularly liked to take her CDs to school. I found this puzzling, since she's 6 years younger than he is, and I can think of no gap greater than that between the musical tastes of a 17-year old boy and his 11-year old sister, but I digress.

Anyway, it infuriated her, and she complained to her parents, and they did the usual silly parental bluster, making threats they obviously had no intention of carrying out ("If you do that again, we're not taking you skiing next month!").

So while I was visiting one weekend, I took matters into my own hands. Just before heading home (200+ miles) I "borrowed" a number of his favorite CDs, giving special attention to Nirvana and Rage Against the Machine.

My sister called a couple of days later (she was in on the plot), telling me I had one really ticked-off nephew. I asked her to put him on the phone. "He doesn't even want to TALK to you", I was informed. "Okay, then just ask him why it's okay for him to 'borrow' Julianne's CDs, but it's not okay for me to 'borrow' his. I'll return his CDs posthaste the minute he gives me a good reason or a promise to never do it again."

He took option number 2.

Today, he's a college senior. He stayed with my wife and me last year while doing a summer internship. When he returned to school, he left us behind a lovely letter telling us, among other things, that we had taught him a lot about personal responsibility.

He treats his sister a lot better today, and she adores him.

Sometimes you have to hit them where they live if you want to get their attention.

[gnome]

Originally posted by BPSCG
In this instance (again, with the obligatory "if it's really true" disclaimer), let's not forget what precipitated the auction in the first place.

Junior wrecked mom's trumpet and got into parent's expensive champagne (troubling that she's more ticked about the loss of the expensive champagne than the fact that he's drinking alchol at all). He clumsily tried to evade responsibility for his actions.

Are we supposed to believe that while Mom and Dad's property is fair game for Junior's mischief, his is sacrosanct?

Neither is fair game, as far as I'm concerned... but you heard my own response, which serves the job of hitting him where he cares, without taking the disrespectful step of selling off his property without his permission.

I believe discipline fails if it is not tempered with respect. I liked your story though... you still had the CD's to return, I'll note.

[Sloe_Bohemian]

Originally posted by gnome



quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by richardm
A 6' 3" thirteen year old? Build 'em big in America, do you?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



I've seen it. There's a young teen-ager that hangs around with a friend's son that is taller than any adult in the house.


Yeah, but he just got his growth spurt early. He's going to stop growing and all the other kids will come into their own... and in a few years he'll only be 6'4" or 6'5" and all his peers will be... 6'1".

yeah, that'll show him... he won't be so... well, he will, but... aw, just sell his stuff already.

[BPSCG]

Originally posted by gnome
Neither is fair game, as far as I'm concerned... but you heard my own response, which serves the job of hitting him where he cares, without taking the disrespectful step of selling off his property without his permission.Mom has a busted trumpet and a bottle of leftover champagne that's gone flat. If Junior had just used the trumpet without permission, but also without breaking it, temporarily taking away his Play Station privileges would have been appropriate.

I believe discipline fails if it is not tempered with respect. I liked your story though... you still had the CD's to return, I'll note. Yup. But it might have been a different story if my nephew had lost or damaged his sister's CDs. My sister's kids all grew up knowing I never make a threat that I'm not prepared to carry out. As such, I don't have a credibility gap with them. It sounds to me like this kid's got more serious discipline problems. I didn't even LIKE alcohol at that age, a deficiency I've since rectified...

[LW]

Originally posted by BPSCG

Junior wrecked mom's trumpet and got into parent's expensive champagne (troubling that she's more ticked about the loss of the expensive champagne than the fact that he's drinking alchol at all). He clumsily tried to evade responsibility for his actions.


Though, the story has something strange in it. Who opens a champagne bottle with a corkscrew? I would think that even an inexperienced teenager would know how those are opened.

The $120 for a 1995 Dom Perignon sounds about right (it goes for 105 euros here) but then again, the seller didn't exactly pay for the bottle but received it as a gift and she probably won't buy another one, so the actual loss is rather academic. (BTW, that's the second-newest vintage that is sold right now).

[BPSCG]

Originally posted by LW
The $120 for a 1995 Dom Perignon sounds about right (it goes for 105 euros here) but then again, the seller didn't exactly pay for the bottle but received it as a gift and she probably won't buy another one, so the actual loss is rather academic.So what? Are you saying that if Mom didn't buy it herself and doesn't intend to replace it, it's okay for Junior to help himself?

Go ahead - tell that to your kids.

[Lothian]

As I see it she left a young kid to care for himself until 11.30 at night. He should be put into care for his own sake,

[richardm]

Originally posted by LW


Though, the story has something strange in it. Who opens a champagne bottle with a corkscrew? I would think that even an inexperienced teenager would know how those are opened

I once had a bottle of champagne in which the cork was so tightly seized that I needed to take a corkscrew to it. Not any more, since I now own a silver champagne bottle opener :D (Sadly, the budget didn't run to a butler)

[Fizzer]

What about the games? The auction says it is jut the PS2 and a memory card but no games. Seems weird. Obvsiouly the kid has at least one game for it. Is that part of the punishment? Let the kid keep the games as a way of reminding him what he can't play any more?

[Batman Jr.]

Originally posted by Fizzer
What about the games? The auction says it is jut the PS2 and a memory card but no games. Seems weird. Obvsiouly the kid has at least one game for it. Is that part of the punishment? Let the kid keep the games as a way of reminding him what he can't play any more?
Are there any PS2 emulators that allow you to play games from their discs on the computer? Mommy made a booboo if there are. These tactics of pleasure deprivation only seem to cultivate acrimony for the parents anyhow.

[DrMatt]

Some parents do some weird things. I was seriously expecting to find the kid sold on e-Bay.

I know, that's against e-Bay's rules.

[Lord DavoMan]

Am I the only person on ebay with a sense of privacy?

What motivated the parent to disclose information about their private life? Its almost as if the parent is relying on the judgement of ebay users to justify their parenting.

Selling the PS/2 is questionable enough, but ranting to the whole world about your problems?

Hey guys I'm having some acne problems, I went to the doctor to get some pills etc etc etc do you want to know that? ;)

[Nasarius]

Originally posted by Lord DavoMan
Am I the only person on ebay with a sense of privacy?

What motivated the parent to disclose information about their private life? Its almost as if the parent is relying on the judgement of ebay users to justify their parenting.

Selling the PS/2 is questionable enough, but ranting to the whole world about your problems?

Hey guys I'm having some acne problems, I went to the doctor to get some pills etc etc etc do you want to know that? ;)

That's the "public humiliation" I was talking about. Odds are, the auction is going to attract the attention of some family friends and some of the kid's friends. That's probably what she wants. I don't care about selling the PS2, but making it public like this is a really s**tty thing to do to your child.