Replacement swearing meme?

[wittgenst3in]

I'm an atheist, and have been for a few years now. I grew up in a christian household and also had a father who swore constantly 'Jesus f*ing Christ' etc (even though he wasn't christian, actually I think he was a maltheist). So my internal 'swear bag' has basically been conditioned to this.

Basically I'm looking for a better curse phrase. I don't mean that I use the above expression in public generally, but it must seem strange that when an atheist jams his finger or somesuch that he blames it on a deity.

I'm hoping to come up with a list of phrases. It really surprises me how many curse words are derived from religion. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minced_oaths contains some good examples.

Anyone in a similar situation?

[Tricky]

I borrowed "Mother puss-bucket" from the movie Ghostbusters. It is satisfyingly gross, yet not inherantly offensive.

[Agammamon]

Sweet evil Jesus!

By the Dark Father!

God's Balls!

or for use in mixed company

God's hairy toenails!

[wittgenst3in]

Very nice.

On a side note, I now have to go to my video store and rent that movie.

[wittgenst3in]

Originally posted by Agammamon
Sweet evil Jesus!

By the Dark Father!

God's Balls!

or for use in mixed company

God's hairy toenails!

Thanks, my personal favourite would be "Sweet Zombie Jesus" from futurama, but I'm more looking for non-religious references.

[Piscivore]

I, much like the dad from "A Christmas Story", am capable of a sustained and eloquent stream of profanity- but I use "Son-of-a-fscking-b1tch" for general use.

[Mercutio]

Around here? I think you'll find some, Ed willing.

[Phil]

Originally posted by wittgenst3in
I'm an atheist, and have been for a few years now. I grew up in a christian household and also had a father who swore constantly 'Jesus f*ing Christ' etc (even though he wasn't christian, actually I think he was a maltheist). So my internal 'swear bag' has basically been conditioned to this.

Basically I'm looking for a better curse phrase. . . .

Why?

There's nothing wrong with the classics. And don't be afraid to spread the wealth. There are a bunch of deities out there who's names you can invoke when in pain or frustrated.

But if you insist of using new ones, any old phrase will do:

Jimi F***ing Hendrix!
Mother duck plucker!
Harley F***ing Davidson!
Bob Saget!

[Wudang]

M*cros*fting w*nd*ws-loving Blue-screen-of-death explorer?

Smeg?

[Agammamon]

You could just grab short phrases in foreign languages. What they mean is irrelevant as long as you say them like they were curse word.

You stupid bajo tampoco!

E La Vida!

[c0rbin]

"Crap" is the single best G-rated exclamation ever invented.

In refined environments, "crapulance" may be substituted.

"Crap-tacular" has a nice sarcastic ring to it.

The possibiliities are endless.

And, as always, Yosemite Sam has a great script of curses that can be used anywhere and have no religious overtones.

[Piscivore]

Originally posted by Agammamon
You could just grab short phrases in foreign languages. What they mean is irrelevant as long as you say them like they were curse word.

You stupid bajo tampoco!

E La Vida!

Fictional languages are a good source, too. I've been using "Hraka" (****) since reading "Wateship Down" almost 30 years ago. It is a good one to mumble to one's parents when one is still young. :D

[Nyarlathotep]

I'm an atheist and I don't worry about it. It is, after all, only words and when I feel the need to let out an expletive, I just let out whatever one comes to mind, after all, is saying "Jesus ****** Christ!" really all that different from saying "Motherf*ck!"? Either way it's just a pressure release and nothing more is intended by it.

THat being said, though, I did get called on something similar once. I was once talking to a friend who knows I am a atheist and I said "I swear to God it's true". He looked at me and said "But you're an atheist". I thought it was kind of funny (and my friend was only joking). "Swear to God" is, to me, just a convenient commonly understood shorthand for saying "I really, really, really mean what I am saying"

[Marian]

I use 'thank god' and it annoys me that I do. :(

'thank goodness' sounds too lame.

I do sometimes throw around other dieties though just for giggles. An example would be, after talking to Dell technical support I exclaimed "For the love of Vishnu and all his avatars does NO ONE THERE speak english?!"

[roger]

I use "truchas sin madres", which I picked up from a punster while down in Ecuador. It means "trouts without mothers", but it sounds like you are saying something...rather different.

It works great with a deadpan Clint Eastwood delivery.

[sackett]

My father had a good if rather wordy one: "Jesus Christ and all his bewhiskered disciples!"

Other languages have other traditions, and sometimes they translate well. "He makes my balls ache!" cries the exasperated Frenchman. "Bread and *****!" is widely used, especially in the Germanic regions. C'mon, fellahs, make a contribution!

Oliver Cromwell could exclaim "Why in the bowels of Christ have we done this thing?" as an emphatic way of saying "Why in the name of mercy" etc. (The bowels were thought to be the bodily locus of mercy, you see, and well -- ) But if you spring that one on modern hearers, they register real shock; you can silence even a college professor with it, at least for a moment.

[Art Vandelay]

Originally posted by Phil


Why?

There's nothing wrong with the classics. And don't be afraid to spread the wealth. There are a bunch of deities out there who's names you can invoke when in pain or frustrated.

But if you insist of using new ones, any old phrase will do:

Jimi F***ing Hendrix!
Mother duck plucker!
Harley F***ing Davidson!
Bob Saget!
Or, to quote Everclear, Robert [censored] Redding.

[LostAngeles]

Some of my favorite's -

Jesus Haploid Christ (on a X, where X is something ridiculous like a Pogo Ball.)

Shpdoinkal!

Oh My God What The F#$% Would Jesus Do (sometimes adding "For A Klondike Bar" and no, you don't want to know the answer.)?

Cockbite (From Red vs. Blue, take a look at their logo)

and my current favorite incoherent spit:

Tampon-eating F%$@wad of a donkey-smoking b!tch!

[LostAngeles]

Originally posted by Art Vandelay

Or, to quote Everclear, Robert [censored] Redding.

Everclear? Everclear, the band with one riff(ye-ah) or Everclear the booze?

[Yahweh]

Originally posted by wittgenst3in
I'm an atheist, and have been for a few years now. I grew up in a christian household and also had a father who swore constantly 'Jesus f*ing Christ' etc (even though he wasn't christian, actually I think he was a maltheist). So my internal 'swear bag' has basically been conditioned to this.
Try this:

"Cheese and f**ckin' Rice!"

[Upchurch]

Apparently, I saw the movie, "The Music Man" at just the right time in my early development that term "ye gods!" is forever stuck in my head. I'm not sure if it counts as swearing and, while it might not be non-theistic, it is definitely non-monotheistic.

[Art Vandelay]

Originally posted by LostAngeles
Everclear? Everclear, the band with one riff(ye-ah) or Everclear the booze? [/B]
Everclear, the band whose first albums suffered from repitivity, but has since has come up with several more riffs.

[bluess]

Originally posted by Yahweh

Try this:

"Cheese and f**ckin' Rice!"

I couldn't use it as an expletive.....it has me giggling hysterically.

Explain THAT to the boss!