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subgenius
15th March 2003, 10:24 PM
An obscure Jewish sect in New York has been gripped in awe by what it believes to be a mystical visitation by a 20lb carp that was heard shouting in Hebrew, in what many Jews worldwide are hailing as a modern miracle.
Many of the 7,000-member Skver sect of Hasidim in New Square, 30 miles north of Manhattan, believe God has revealed himself in fish form.

According to two fish-cutters at the New Square Fish Market, the carp was about to be slaughtered and made into gefilte fish for Sabbath dinner when it suddenly began shouting apocalyptic warnings in Hebrew.

Many believe the carp was channelling the troubled soul of a revered community elder who recently died; others say it was God. The only witnesses to the mystical show were Zalmen Rosen, a 57-year-old Hasid with 11 children, and his co-worker, Luis Nivelo. They say that on 28 January at 4pm they were about to club the carp on the head when it began yelling.

Nivelo, a Gentile who does not understand Hebrew, was so shocked at the sight of a fish talking in any language that he fell over. He ran into the front of the store screaming: 'It's the Devil! The Devil is here!' Then the shop owner heard it shouting warnings and commands too.

'It said "Tzaruch shemirah" and "Hasof bah",' he told the New York Times, 'which essentially means that everyone needs to account for themselves because the end is near.'

The animated carp commanded Rosen to pray and study the Torah. Rosen tried to kill the fish but injured himself. It was finally butchered by Nivelo and sold.

http://www.observer.co.uk/international/story/0,6903,915125,00.html

Wonder how God tasted.

corplinx
15th March 2003, 11:15 PM
The only way to verify this is to check the undergarments of the witnesses for feces. There would sure be some in my undergarments if a fish started yelling in hebrew. Not only does a fish not have vocal cords but I doubt it has the proper amount of phlegm to talk in proper hebrew.

crocodile deathroll
16th March 2003, 01:58 AM
What an unfortunate choice of animals. A stinkin' carp, why?
They are a real pest in Oz

Reginald
16th March 2003, 03:23 AM
It was probably trying to give them good reason to kill it, what was more likely said was "Oh look Shakira!, Hasslehoff's bad".

Of course being an entertainment review fish is no credential for extending it's lifespan.

Nikk
16th March 2003, 03:54 AM
Originally posted by subgenius

The animated carp commanded Rosen to pray and study the Torah. Rosen tried to kill the fish but injured himself. It was finally butchered by Nivelo and sold.

http://www.observer.co.uk/international/story/0,6903,915125,00.html

Wonder how God tasted.

So, you encounter a fish which talks and tells you to pray.

What do you do?

You beat the s#!t out of it thats what!!

Clearly orthodox Judaism gives great clarity of mind.:rolleyes:

Reginald
16th March 2003, 04:50 AM
Originally posted by Nikk


So, you encounter a fish which talks and tells you to pray.

What do you do?

You beat the s#!t out of it thats what!!

Clearly orthodox Judaism gives great clarity of mind.:rolleyes:





They could have got good money selling that fish to M Jackson!!

Smalso
16th March 2003, 06:22 AM
Originally posted by corplinx
The only way to verify this is to check the undergarments of the witnesses for feces. There would sure be some in my undergarments if a fish started yelling in hebrew. Not only does a fish not have vocal cords but I doubt it has the proper amount of phlegm to talk in proper hebrew.

LMAO!

crocodile deathroll
17th March 2003, 04:44 AM
MMMMM that fish, it really tasted divine!!

Bluegill
17th March 2003, 05:38 AM
Could it have had anything to do with St. Polycarp? (http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/12219b.htm)

Skeptic
17th March 2003, 05:38 AM
An obscure Jewish sect in New York has been gripped in awe by what it believes to be a mystical visitation by a 20lb carp that was heard shouting in Hebrew, in what many Jews worldwide are hailing as a modern miracle.

Many of the 7,000-member Skver sect of Hasidim in New Square, 30 miles north of Manhattan, believe God has revealed himself in fish form.

New Square's Fish Market, you say? I know the place. Superior carp. Very popular among israeli ventriloquists.