Would you like a funeral?

[Q-Source]

This question just came to my mind when I was reading jimmygun's thread.

What would a person who does not believe in the after-life and God would want as a funeral?

I mean, most of us are Atheists but it does not imply that our families and friends are Atheists as well :p , so if we die I think that they will want to follow all the religious rituals (more as a comfort for themselves really).

But, is it correct to ask our religious families that -when we die- they just bury the body and forget about it?

In my case, I will let my family decide (obviously I won't be there to say a word :( :D ) . We have to be practical, if we don't believe in God, why would we care if they take our bodies to a Church and pray for our "souls"?

I wouldn't mind at all. On the other hand, if I give my family specific instructions about what they should *not* do, I know that they would feel very sad...

Have you thought about it?

[LillyThePink]

gather at Crematorium

Sing a rousing chorus of ding dong the witch is dead

Friends/Family say what they think

Everyone goes to the pub. preferably to do karaoke, but its optional.

----
What would a person who does not believe in the after-life and God would want as a funeral?
----


I personally don't care because I won't be here. :)

I'd hope for everyone to get together and have some food and fun.

As far as the presentation of my body, etc., I don't really care. On one hand I can not see the idea of taking up space in a coffin and having my body unnaturally preserved. On the other hand, it would be fun for future archeologists. :)

I think I'd prefer cremation. Although, I'd really prefer, like Alan Watts suggests, to be buried in a field with no coffin, no preserving chemicals, etc., and that would probably be the best way to grow things in the field. :)

[Wile E. Coyote]

Originally posted by Whodini
I think I'd prefer cremation. Although, I'd really prefer, like Alan Watts suggests, to be buried in a field with no coffin, no preserving chemicals, etc., and that would probably be the best way to grow things in the field. :)

That is a very ... poetic ... wish. I like it.

It is also very practical, as it would save your family a lot of money in costs.

I also do not need a box to contain the mass of material that was once me. I would rather my memory be honored than my body, as that is the only part of me that could be immortal.

[Beleth]

I want a big ol' WAKE. With lots of drinking and laughing.

And then after that I want to be placed in a peat bog, or some permafrost, or something like that, so I can be found 5000 years from now by archaeologists who will wonder what my culture was like and how I died.

I am not afraid to die. I just really, really don't want to ROT.

Seriously.

[Akots]

Would I like a funeral? Hm...

Well, I was't planning on it, but now that you mention it... would it have to be before April? It would make it tough while moving to my new apartment, which i'm doing in the next few weeks.

Mid-June would be pretty good for me, though. I might take oyu up on that actually... tempting offer. :)

[Q-Source]

Originally posted by Akots
Would I like a funeral? Hm...

Well, I was't planning on it, but now that you mention it... would it have to be before April? It would make it tough while moving to my new apartment, which i'm doing in the next few weeks.

Mid-June would be pretty good for me, though. I might take oyu up on that actually... tempting offer. :)

Oh really?

So, your life is not that exciting and joyful :(

[Akots]

Actually, mine is a very enjoyable life, and quite prosperous. A change of pace would just be nice. You know how it is.

Could I have it on a tropical beach, and have a BBQ party for all my living relatives? For the hamburgers, not me. Heeey... maybe both!


OK, OK.. so I am being a little silly...and i'm not ready to kick the bucket just yet. But speaking seriously, who would want their funeral to be a big party? I think it would be a great idea... i don't want my family to be miserable because of little old me. However much longer I live, I have more than enough to look back on as it is. Well... except for marraige, and possibly spawning my own little broodlings.

Hm... maybe i'll have to pass after all... I don't want to die without giving a family a try, if only because it's the one experience I cannot even comprehend experiencing. Don't want to die until I've lived through all the important stuff. After that, though, I'm pretty much good to go.

[Peach Jr.]

I don't think it would matter much to me - after all, I wouldn't be there to defend myself;)

However, if I did have a say in the matter...

I would want to be cremated - after any usable organs were donated - and have my ashes scattered over the beach near where I grew up.

And then, the party:D

[Peach Jr.]

I don't think it would matter much to me - after all, I wouldn't be there to defend myself;)

However, if I did have a say in the matter...

I would want to be cremated - after any usable organs were donated - and have my ashes scattered over the beach near where I grew up.

And then, the party:D

[c4ts]

Funeral? Perhaps if my retirement plan to upload my consciousness into the internet in the form of a computer virus fails, I may need one...

[kittynh]

Am I the only one that plans on donating my body to science? My kids are into doing that too (oh wouldn't that go down well with the relatives...) I'm not an athiest, but I really don't think I'm going to know what happens after I die. I do get a kick out of thinking about med students chopping me up and making funny jokes. My kids think it would be cool if we could be made into skeletons! At my college we used to decorate the skeleton's and they were "invited" to every party. Now that's a fun thought...

[spoonhandler]

I had seriously intended to donate my body to science (once I'd finished using it), but someone pointed out to me how insensitive I was being toward those I leave behind. It may be beyond even my sensible spouse to accept the idea of my body becoming a plasticised learning tool on display or repeatedly dissected by med students.

I have informed my family that my wish is for them to be able to live comfortably with whatever decision is to be made. I'd prefer not to waste space and money with a burial plot, but it's really not up to me. They are aware I'd want whatever organs are of use to others to be donated, but again, they'll be the ones on the spot, trying to balance grief and loss with concerns for the future.

There's no way I could impose my own selfish will on them in the here and now when I can't begin to imagine how they will be feeling if ever the time should come for them to make such decisions.

[The Fool]

I'm Dead...what should I care? People can do with me whatever they like. Lay me face down and use my ass for a bike rack for all I care.:)

[evildave]

Organ donor.

Cheapest cremation you can find local to my death. Discard ashes in any way you see fit. Use it in the garden, if you like. It's bone meal. Roses like it.

Use the cash for a party that I'm not invited to.

Explicitly: Go cheap. That's just a lump of meat there, tempting the flies. You can expensively transport it, pump it full of chemicals, put it in an expensive box, dress it up nice, cry over it in an expensive room, then bury it somewhere to rot, or you can burn it up cheap. If you go for the former, the sick little bastards at the funeral home saw you comming a mile away.

If you desperately want a funeral ceremony, a nice photo of me would do fine.

I'm serious about "go cheap". Every dollar you save is more beer at the party.

[Q-Source]

Originally posted by spoonhandler
There's no way I could impose my own selfish will on them in the here and now when I can't begin to imagine how they will be feeling if ever the time should come for them to make such decisions.

Exactly, this is the point I was trying to make. It is a decision that must be taken between you and your family. Ultimately, if you die first, they will have to deal with it. I think that most of the people find comfort in buring their loved ones in the traditional way.

[LillyThePink]

Is burial still really big over in the US?

Mostly in the UK, we go for cremation. Then again, we haven't got the space you guys have ;)

I've only been to 3 burials - all Catholics.

[Q-Source]

Originally posted by Peach Jr.
I would want to be cremated - after any usable organs were donated - and have my ashes scattered over the beach near where I grew up.

And then, the party:D


Most of the people here say that they would like to have a kind of celebration instead of a sad funeral. But....

Would you do the same if your loved ones asked you to do that before she/he die?

Would you follow his/her instructions?

Q-S

[Smalso]

Originally posted by kittynh
Am I the only one that plans on donating my body to science? My kids are into doing that too (oh wouldn't that go down well with the relatives...) I'm not an athiest, but I really don't think I'm going to know what happens after I die. I do get a kick out of thinking about med students chopping me up and making funny jokes. My kids think it would be cool if we could be made into skeletons! At my college we used to decorate the skeleton's and they were "invited" to every party. Now that's a fun thought...

I have made arrangements for my remains to be donated to a nearby medical school. Most are experiencing severe shortages of cadavers for disection, which is necessary in the training of new doctors. When they are finished with it, they will deliver the ashes to a person I have designated to be disposed of as she sees fit. One of the beauties of it is that it doesn't cost anybody anything. I want no funeral, memorial service or anything of that type; however, if some of my friends want to get drunk in my honor, they may use that excuse. As if they need one.

I will have a funeral and I plan on writing my own eulogy. That way I still get my say to counter any religious flap doodle that my wife insists she is going to have.

Nobody will allow it to happen but I think it would be hilarious if the coffin was open and empty, with my dead body sitting in a corner out of the way with a beer in my hand. Most of the people I know have seen me sitting with a beer and damned few of them ever saw me lying in a box sleeping.

I am putting a tape together of my own music (original melodies) and I plan on having it played instead of the dirge crap they normally play. On the flip side will be thirty minutes of me telling my favourite jokes, ones that everyone has heard a hundred times. People will be able to buy their own copy of the tape in the lobby of the funeral home for $19.95 plus shipping and handling.

[Gregor]

I want to be cremated, and my ashes scattered over Rebecca Stamos.

Then, like jimmygun, I would like to see a party attended by my friends and my wife's baptist friends. My friends would be on one side of the room drinking and laughing and my wife's baptist friends would be on the other, mumbling and praying and wishing they were on the other side of the room.

[Ladyhawk]

Originally posted by jimmygun

Nobody will allow it to happen but I think it would be hilarious if the coffin was open and empty, with my dead body sitting in a corner out of the way with a beer in my hand. Most of the people I know have seen me sitting with a beer and damned few of them ever saw me lying in a box sleeping.

As for me, I'm hoping that by the time I die, taxidermy for humans will be a reality. Yep...I'd like to be stuffed. All my organs could be donated, I wouldn't take up any ground space or harm the environment by being flame grilled. Consider the advantages! I could be posable with interchangeable parts and, (finally) have that body I always dreamed of. Family and friends could bring me out of the attic during holidays, birthdays, weddings. No one would really miss me, coz I'd always be there! There ya go, Jimmy! You can always have that brewski in your hand. Hell, I could be functional, too! I think I'd make a great coat rack at the front door! :D

[bjornart]

I've only been to one funeral, and it was a humanist/non-religious one. A few speakers (collegues and friends of the deceased and a 'hired-gun' from the humanist organisation), some music and then off to a gathering with the family. Seemed decent enough for me.

But in the end I don't care. I'll be dead and funerals are for the living anyway. I might leave a few wishes, but that will be to help out those arranging the thing, and they should feel free to ignore it. (Absolutely no priests and speaking of eternal life, please! But as I've said, I won't care.)

I've informed my parents it's ok for them to donate my organs if the opportunity arises, and carry a donor-card with their names and phone-numbers, and beyond that they can bury me, burn me or dump me in the Thames as they see fit.

First any body parts grab them and use them, whats left burn to ashes, scatter me round a rose bush or something nice and pleasantly whiffy, and have a damn good party, job done. Thats my instructions and everybody knows it.
My funeral will be a cheap, cheerful and drunk affair, sounds like me in life LMAO:D

[Peach Jr.]

Originally posted by Q-Source



Most of the people here say that they would like to have a kind of celebration instead of a sad funeral. But....

Would you do the same if your loved ones asked you to do that before she/he die?

Would you follow his/her instructions?

Q-S

Oh, yes.

Especially my mum and dad - we have discussed this. I would only be carrying out their wishes, after all:)

[Dragonrock]

I've watched overdone funerals for the parents and grandparents of friends and they usually are a result of guilt. Everyone is afraid of offending the dead. So they go off the deep end, spending way to much and driving themselves into bankruptcy just to have a pretty wooden box to put some meat in. I think it is important to let people know what you want. Be VERY clear about your wishes and you will probably relieve far more stress than you cause.

[Q-Source]

Originally posted by Gregor
I want to be cremated, and my ashes scattered over Rebecca Stamos.

Then, like jimmygun, I would like to see a party attended by my friends and my wife's baptist friends. My friends would be on one side of the room drinking and laughing and my wife's baptist friends would be on the other, mumbling and praying and wishing they were on the other side of the room.


What would you do if your loved one dies first and ask you to organise a party in her honor? Would you do that?

[Ladewig]

Count me in on the list of organ and body donations.

[Akots]

Organ donation?

Would you rather absorb another person's donated entrails to prevent your death? Kinda the point of donating in the first place. :D

[Beleth]

Originally posted by kittynh
Am I the only one that plans on donating my body to science? My desire to be tossed into a peat bog or buried in permafrost is donating my body to science too!

[Gregor]

Honor her wishes. However, I expect little reciprocity.

[c4ts]

I'm afraid that if I donate my body to science, I'll wake up 400 years in the future wishing I'd stayed dead.

[Tricky]

Originally posted by bjornart
...and beyond that they can bury me, burn me or dump me in the Thames as they see fit.
Actually, I think we've got an eater here...


Seriously, soylent green is the answer. A shame to let good meat go to waste! (Hmm... combination Wake/Barbecue...)

Would I like a funeral?

Can I decide who it's for?

[Smalso]

Originally posted by sundog
Would I like a funeral?

Can I decide who it's for?

LMAO.

To paraphrase (badly) Winston Churchill, I think: I have never wished anyone dead, but there are some funerals I would gladly attend.

[phobos]

Originally posted by Tricky

Seriously, soylent green is the answer. A shame to let good meat go to waste! (Hmm... combination Wake/Barbecue...)

Actually, I think that's quite sweet. The idea of being the main course at my own wake appeals to me. Assuming I haven't died of anything nasty, of course...

Q: is cannibalism still wrong when you have the consent of the person in question?

[roger]

Are you threatening me, Q-Source??? :mad:


:cool:

[Underemployed]

Someday I hope to have a garden. Out in the countryside, with a nice lawn. I want to be wrapped up in sackcloth and buried in the middle of the lawn and have an oak sapling planted directly over the cadaver.

[spoonhandler]

Ladyhawk wrote: "As for me, I'm hoping that by the time I die, taxidermy for humans will be a reality."

This kinda happens already. http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2002/03/20/1016610337699.html (http://)

From the page: "Plasticised by a technique he invented in the 1970s, the corpses, mostly skinned, are perfectly preserved. They are both rigid and flexible enough for Dr von Hagens to arrange them, free-standing, in almost any position he wants."

The technique is used by medical schools to extend the useful 'life' of cadavers or body parts for teaching purposes. It allows repeated dissection and examination a la Grey's Anatomy, permits the students to work in normal office/tutorial rooms rather than chilled morgues and does away with formaldehyde fumes (or so I understand).

The tutorial rooms for the med students at the hospital where I work had been designed with glass panels in the doors. As patients and visitors to patients were likely to walk past these rooms, we had to cover the glass panels with brown paper until curtains could be installed, as the view was pretty freaky.

[kittynh]

Smalso has it right, after a year I was told my body would be creamated and returned to my family. Though I still want to be made into a skeleton. I have a funny bone deformity that isn't too terribly noticable with all the skin on! But whenever I get an xray the docs go, "Oh lookyhere!" I was told the best skeletons are made at the Smithsonian. They have a room full of BUGS! They eat everything off and leave a clean white skeleton! Too cool!

[Khalid01]

I'm selfish, so I have a request of my own for when I die, presently. Albeit, it's very circumstancial, but I would prefer it above some silly ceremony. My request, specifically would be to decompose in the wilderness, somewhere free from human contamination, so that it would go directly back to nature. I don't care what happens to it, and to put it most bluntly, a bear could rape my corpse, I wouldn't think twice of it. What I'm concerned with is that my carbon is given back to nature and that I die like our stupid ape cousins. I sure hope no one like the Flanders comes around and buries me:rolleyes:. If my future family has some objections I may change my mind, but it better not be on religious grounds.

[Smalso]

I was told the best skeletons are made at the Smithsonian. They have a room full of BUGS! They eat everything off and leave a clean white skeleton! Too cool!

Yeah, I saw something about that on the teevee once. They say it is the most efficient and sanitary way to do it. The bugs leave no flesh at all.

rrrrRRRRAAALLLPPPHHHH

[kittynh]

Unless you can get your family to go for the peat bog thing, or you are a saint (well, some say...) you are pretty much going to be eaten by bugs anyway. That or my friend had to dig up her uncle and she claims after 6months in the ground he looked like something you'd left in Tupperware in the fridge too long...yick!At least my bugs will be from the Smithsonian! Not those common forest dwelling types.

[evildave]

Um, the problem with cannibalism is Kuru (http://www.as.ua.edu/ant/bindon/ant570/Papers/McGrath/McGrath.htm). Basically "Mad Cow" disease for people.

Other human specific parasites can survive if you're not butchered and prepared properly. It gives the bugs and bacteria a good long taste of what people tastes like, they adapt, and are better prepared to start eating YOU back.

Touching as replaying the Monty Python ("Not RAW! She's be delicious with some brocolli and french fries!" oh wait, call that "Freedom Fries"), it's not a good idea. Especially if you had something infectious that nobody diagnosed.

Plastination (http://www.bodyworlds.com/en/plastination.htm)
More Plastination (http://wbiomed.curtin.edu.au/teach/humanbiol/hbareas/hbplast.htm)
There are some organizations that dissect and plastinate human corpses for permanent display; for anatomical study and education. We could donate our bodies for plastination, and they'd be used for permanent medical examples... and in some cases, art.

If you want to "rot" naturally, then you could always donate your body to the "Body Farm (http://web.utk.edu/~anthrop/index.htm)". No guarantees where they leave you. Your bones will probably end up filed away in a box.

[Questioninggeller]

Originally posted by LillyThePink
Everyone goes to the pub. preferably to do karaoke, but its optional.

Sounds like a good idea to me. I'd want to leave behind some cash so me friends could drink for free.

[bjornart]

As a Norwegian I really don't have that many options for the actual deposition of my body. Dead people here have to be put in cemeteries, or their ashes can be strewn over the open ocean or on the uninhabited mountain plateaus.

Questioninggeller:
I hope you don't have any 'friends' who are overly keen on free drinks.

That reminds me, gotta write a will that doesn't tempt any relatives to bump me off. Too bad Norwegian law doesn't allow you to write anyone completely out...

[Q-Source]

Originally posted by Smalso

To paraphrase (badly) Winston Churchill, I think: I have never wished anyone dead, but there are some funerals I would gladly attend.

That was very funny :D

But, even in my worst's enemy funeral, I would be bored.
I really dislike funerals, although I have only been in two funeral in my entire life (as a child).

Q-S

[c4ts]

Okay, I think I've got my basic funeral plan:

I will be buried before the actual funeral, and a look-alike wearing a suit will lie still in a casket for the ceremony. When the time comes to bury my "body," a band will play a dirge as the casket is about to be lowered, but it will also signal my look-alike to jump out of the casket and start dancing. The band will play something more upbeat and... I don't know, a van will stop by with tables, food, and a full keg of beer. There will be a catered feast, and objects in my will are handed out as prizes for olympic-ish events such as foot races around the cemetary. Of course, my double will have to explain much of it once the beer van arrives.

It will be the least practical funeral in recorded history.

[Smalso]

If my friends want to get drunk in my memory, let the do so. I will not, however, leave any money behind so that they can drink for free. They've drunk enough off me while I was alive. They want to get drunk, they can damn well pay for it this time.:D

[justsaygnosis]

Originally posted by kittynh
Am I the only one that plans on donating my body to science? My kids are into doing that too (oh wouldn't that go down well with the relatives...) I'm not an athiest, but I really don't think I'm going to know what happens after I die. I do get a kick out of thinking about med students chopping me up and making funny jokes. My kids think it would be cool if we could be made into skeletons! At my college we used to decorate the skeleton's and they were "invited" to every party. Now that's a fun thought...

Depending on it's condition that's where my remains are going as well.

[JANman]

I want to have my dead corpse cremated,put into one of those Scud misiles,fired into the air and have the anti aircraft guns blast it (they better not miss)while Jimmi Hendrix's "star spangled banner" plays real loud..
go out with a BANG you could say:D

[Max560]

I would want my body dressed up in various articles of clothing and jewelery from many different time periods, have a briefcase stuffed with WWII sectet files cuffed to my wrist, a flintlock on my belt, and a cell phone with the kremlin phone # programmed into it in my breast pocket.

As the budget permits, smuggle my body into one of the pyramids, or descreetly put me in orbit around the moon.

[Roadtoad]

Weird one, Source. You aren't thinking of checking out on us, are you? (Please don't...)

I told my wife to go the cheap route: Find a ditch between here and Gilroy and just roll my ass in. Seriously, who wants a funeral? Why? So a bunch of cheap-assed liars can gather around and eat your family's food and drink your family's beer, and tell people what a wonderful person they thought you were, when they wouldn't have gotten within five feet of you on a good day?

So, just find a good deep ditch along the 680, roll me in, then pop open a case of ale and drink one to me if you're in the mood. Otherwise, don't waste your time.

[Sansha]

My grandfather's funeral was last week. Like everyone in my family (except his wife, my grandmother) he was an atheist.

My grandmother chose the officiant, an utter pig of a man who happens to be the priest from her bible study or something.

He refused to speak to anyone in my family other than my grandmother, snatched the order of service we had prepared from my mother's hand and told her "it will be something like this" and told my mother that we could not have the soloist that my mother had arranged because she was going to sing a version of The Lord is My Shepherd that we could not sing along to. He refused to introduce my father and myself before we spoke, or my brother before he played. And he gave what I swear was a 20 minute prayer all about suffering and pain and so forth. My granddad was a very optimistic man but even aside from that he wasn't actually in any pain until the very end of his life. The priest made him out to be some sort of stoic martyr and really he was just a guy who loved life.

Anyway, we just keep telling ourselves that for some reason that depressing rubbish offered comfort to my grandma.

So basically, my advice - if you want it a certain way - make sure someone with some sense will be in charge.

[Rusty_the_boy_robot]

Originally posted by tjwojo


That is a very ... poetic ... wish. I like it.

It is also very practical, as it would save your family a lot of money in costs.

I also do not need a box to contain the mass of material that was once me. I would rather my memory be honored than my body, as that is the only part of me that could be immortal.

This cannot be done, it is illegal. But this is legal:

You can have your body mulched into fertalizer. Your family will get bags of fertilizer. My wife knows that if I do she better have me mulched and spread me around some flowers in the mountains or I'm gonna come back and haunt her (or somethign hehehee)

I also think it would be funny to give my religious relatives a bag of fertalizer made of me. That should really freak them out =)

[Q-Source]

Originally posted by Roadtoad

So, just find a good deep ditch along the 680, roll me in, then pop open a case of ale and drink one to me if you're in the mood. Otherwise, don't waste your time.

That is a good idea, no funeral at all.

In Mexico, it is a common practice that when people die, family and friends have to pray for the dead's soul during NINE days... :eek:

So, it means that your family has to give free food and drinks to everybody during nine long days.

Considering the suffering of the widow and children for the lost, this religious practice is terrible winding. :mad:

Q-S

[BillyTK]

Originally posted by LillyThePink
Is burial still really big over in the US?

Mostly in the UK, we go for cremation. Then again, we haven't got the space you guys have ;)

I've only been to 3 burials - all Catholics.

Catholics have some of the best wakes...

Anyway, my b/h wants to be cremated and her ashes cast from the top of the Azure Window (http://www.gozoglass.com/graphics/gozo/azure_window.jpg), which, if I'm still about, I'll be happy to do. Although I dunno how I'm going to explain that one to Maltese customs!

Me, I want to go in the family grave, but the cheapest coffin will do. Preferably made out of cardboard in case the doctors get it wrong...

Billy TK...au contraire mon frere...My Scottish family gives the best wakes. Until someone dies, nobody talks to each other. At the funeral, everyone is cordial but aloof.

At the reception people start to open up a bit and a bit of hugging and handshaking takes place.

At the wake everyone starts drinking and keeps drinking until they all are locked arm in arm and singing and loving and pronouncing an end to all the feuds.

For a brief few hours we are one happy family, then when everyone sobers up, back to the feuding a fighting.

[BillyTK]

Originally posted by jimmygun
Billy TK...au contraire mon frere...My Scottish family gives the best wakes. Until someone dies, nobody talks to each other. At the funeral, everyone is cordial but aloof.

At the reception people start to open up a bit and a bit of hugging and handshaking takes place.

At the wake everyone starts drinking and keeps drinking until they all are locked arm in arm and singing and loving and pronouncing an end to all the feuds.

For a brief few hours we are one happy family, then when everyone sobers up, back to the feuding a fighting.

okeydoke, catholics and jimmygun's Scottish family give the best wakes.

D'accord, maintenant? ;)