Any questions for Thor?

[CWL]

Since we seem to be querying deities and demons these days, does anyone have any questions for Thor (http://www.pantheon.org/articles/t/thor.html)? Perhaps for some other deity of the Norse Pantheon (http://www.pantheon.org/areas/mythology/europe/norse/articles.html)?

[bjornart]

Sure. I'd ask them what they think of that Yahweh/Allah-dude. And if they think they would have had more success if they had promissed eternal damnation to those who did not worship.

[CWL]

Originally posted by bjornart
Sure. I'd ask them what they think of that Yahweh/Allah-dude. And if they think they would have had more success if they had promissed eternal damnation to those who did not worship.
Those are good ones. One could go on to ask if they regret their rather concrete approach towards the ultimate questions and whether they feel that they should have included more metaphysical stuff in their religion (such as holy ghosts, incarnated saviours, ultimate prophets, eternal scriptures etc.).

[shemp]

Originally posted by CWL

Those are good ones. One could go on to ask if they regret their rather concrete approach towards the ultimate questions and whether they feel that they should have included more metaphysical stuff in their religion (such as holy ghosts, incarnated saviours, ultimate prophets, eternal scriptures etc.).

I'd ask him what he'd do if he had a hammer.

Oh, he does have a hammer. Never mind.

[bjornart]

Originally posted by shemp


I'd ask him what he'd do if he had a hammer.

Oh, he does have a hammer. Never mind.

:D :D :D

[kedo1981]

do you ever hammer in the morning, all over this town?

[LuxFerum]

Did you ever hammered your finger?

[CWL]

I would ask Odin (http://www.pantheon.org/articles/o/odin.html) if he ever turned a blind eye.

[Kullervo]

I'm interested in Amlodhi the titan and his spinning top, or his mill. (really - the very thought-provoking Hamlet's Mill and all that)
http://www.sourcetext.com/pythagoras/hamlets.html

[a fantoche de meia]

How many stones in Wales?

[Aoidoi]

Are you so thor you can't thit down?

[neutrino_cannon]

where can I buy a fafnir?

[c4ts]

How do you cast that charm which makes you irresistable to women? (Ooops, that's my question for Odin.)

[Blue Monk]

Who does your hair?

[shemp]

Do you know that Hagar guy?

[CWL]

Originally posted by shemp
Do you know that Hagar guy?
..."Sammy", that is?

[Max560]

Why do you keep shouting "By the Power of Greyskull!"?

[no one in particular]

I guess Thor could not be reached for questioning, either that or he thought it below him to respond. However, when The Onion (http://www.theonion.com/onion3803/judge_orders_god.html) asked Zeus what he thought about God’s monopoly on religion and he responded!


"For thousands of years, I've been screaming that this third-rate sky deity ripped me off wholesale," said Zeus, speaking from his Mt. Olympus residence. "Every good idea He ever had He took from me: Who first created men in his own image? Who punished mankind for its sins? Who lived eternally up in the clouds? And the whole fearsome, patriarchal, white-beard, thunderbolt thing? I was doing that eons before this two-bit hustler started horning in on the action."

[CWL]

I would also ask whether Freyr (http://www.pantheon.org/articles/f/freyr.html) was ever arrested for disorderly conduct (http://www.pantheon.org/areas/gallery/mythology/europe/norse/freyr.html).

[CWL]

Originally posted by whitefork
I'm interested in Amlodhi the titan and his spinning top, or his mill. (really - the very thought-provoking Hamlet's Mill and all that)
http://www.sourcetext.com/pythagoras/hamlets.html

Whitefork - as always a thought provoking post. Very interesting indeed. I did a little searching and found this (http://www.milloftime.homestead.com/CoreMyths.html):

Hamlet is the core figure in this detective story, from whom emerges inummerable mythical branches. Behind the mask of the Hamlet character is "an ancient and all-embracing cosmic power - the original master of the dreamed-of first age of the world." Amlodhi, (1) the original Hamlet of Norse myth, is "Lord of the Golden Age, the once and future king."

The Mill is extremely ancient and central to the original Hamlet story. Frodhi is an alias of Freyr of Norse myth, a Vanir or Titan and under King Frodhi is a golden age called "Frodhi's Peace." (2) Frodhi was the owner of a huge mill, or quern, that no human could budge, called "Grotte", (3) "the crusher". He recruited two giant maidens, Fenja and Menja to work the magic mill and they ground out gold, peace and happiness for Frodhi; but he, being greedy, drove them night and day and granted them rest only long enough to recite a certain verse. One night Menja in her anger stopped and sang a prophecy and Mysingr, the Sea King rose and killed Frodhi. Mysingr loaded the grotte into his ship along with the giantesses and ordered them to grind, but this time they ground out salt. Just after midnight the ship sank and "the huge props flew off the bin, the iron rivets burst, the shaft tree shivered, the bin shot down, the massy mill-stone rent in twain."

When the mill tree springs out, the whirlpool forms in the hole in the nave which becomes the "navel of the sea", or Umbilicas Maris, the ancient name for great whirlpools. Having landed at the bottom of the sea, the mill is now grinding rock and sand, creating a vast whirlpool, the Maelstrom, which is supposed to be a way to the land of the dead. De Santillana and Von Dechend came to the conclusion that this image stands for an astronomical process, the secular shifting of the sun through the signs of the zodiac which determines world-ages, each numbering thousands of years. Each age brings a World Era, a new king, who rules for a time with a heavenly mandate, then comes a 'Twilight of the Gods.' "Great structures collapse; pillars topple which supported the great fabric; floods and cataclysms herald the shaping of a new world." Plato regarded the figure, the owner of the mill, as the Craftsman God, the Demiurge, who shaped the heavens.


Footnotes

(1) The name appears in several languages: Amlodhi, Amleth, Amlaghe, and the Irish Amlaidhe which means "simpleton"

2) Saxo gives him a reign of 30 years, the orbital period of Saturn.

(3) "Grotte" is still used in Norwegian for "axle-block" - in the Faröer as well as the Shetland district it stands for "the nave in the millstone"; the original Sanskrit nabhi means both "nave" and "navel".

I would add that the expression "grottekvarn" (= "Grotte Mill" in Swedish) is used in Swedish to express lamentation. The "mill of plenty" motif is also retold in Sweden in a certain child's tale.

I am also fascinated by classic "core myths" reoccurring in different mythologies - another interesting core myth is "The Golden Bough"; stories about descent into the Underworld or Otherworld etc. (cp. the Maelstrom angle). Simply fascinating stuff!

[Kullervo]

Quoth CWL: I am also fascinated by classic "core myths" reoccurring in different mythologies - another interesting core myth is "The Golden Bough"; stories about descent into the Under- or Otherworld etc. (cp. the Maelstrom angle). Simply fascinating stuff!Me too. You have to shift through a lot of Von Daniken-style nonsense to find the gems, but Hamlet's Mill (De Santillana and Von Dechend) seems like the real deal. My astronomy prof turned me on to it in college and he found it pretty persuasive. I recommend it highly. It's a bit rambling, and some of the points are rather speculative, but the analyses of Hamlet and Samson are fascinating - there are all sorts of archaic echoes in Shakespeare.

Someone gave me the complete Golden Bough a few years back, but I've not had to time to plow through it. One of these days....

[CWL]

Originally posted by whitefork
Someone gave me the complete Golden Bough a few years back, but I've not had to time to plow through it. One of these days....

Good for you, Forky. I was fortunate enough to have it as compulsory reading when I studied comparative litterature, way back when. I found it extremely interesting (although it was hardly light reading). As I was merely seventeen years old at the time, I am considering giving it another well deserved shot (any day now).

[MRC_Hans]

Interesting thing about the Nordic (its not just Norse!) pantheon is that those gods are not omni- anything much. While certainly superhuman, they have at most one omnipotence each. And none of them is omnibenevolent; actually they didn't give a hoot about the well-being of the peasants. A very pragmatic religion, heheh.

Hans

[MRC_Hans]

Oh, and on the "If I had a hammer.. " subject: Thor is a typical example of the saying "To he who only has a hammer, every problem looks like a nail"

;)

Hans

[BillyTK]

Who's harder, you or Jesus?

Did it annoy you when you and your family were bumped for Jesus and his family?

What do you think off Jack Kirby's likeness of you?

[CWL]

Originally posted by CWL
I would also ask whether Freyr (http://www.pantheon.org/articles/f/freyr.html) was ever arrested for disorderly conduct (http://www.pantheon.org/areas/gallery/mythology/europe/norse/freyr.html).

I realize that I'm responding to myself here (in a momentary stroke of solipsism) but it struck me when I read that post of mine again - whatever happened to sexuality in the major religions of the world today? Why are there no deities with huge priaps or voluptuous curves (depending on the gender of the deity of course) these days?

[BillyTK]

Originally posted by CWL


I realize that I'm responding to myself here (in a momentary stroke of solipsism) but it struck me when I read that post of mine again - whatever happened to sexuality in the major religions of the world today? Why are there no deities with huge priaps or voluptuous curves (depending on the gender of the deity of course) these days?

I don't know much about Hinduism so I carnt say if that's the case with their religion. This is off the top of my head, but I wondered a similar thing about Christianity (but particularly Catholicism), particularly why it's so down on sensuality and sexual expression.

At least part of it is the oppression of women. There's this polarity that men are spiritual and closer to God, whereas women are "of the flesh" (Eve was created from Adam's rib) and therefore closer to nature, what with menstruation and childbirth. All things of the flesh (including sensuality) are gendered female and therefore to be feared and repressed. This kind of explains the whole anti-male homosexuality thing introduced in the King James version, because homosexual acts involve one person taking on a "woman's role" during the act.

So as Christianity sought dominance over the older religions (particularly the sensual/pro-female Goddess religions) one of the best ways to stop their practice was not simply to prohibit practice but to literally demonise them in terms of their sensual aspects.

But an odd thing is that according to the Bible, Jesus promoted equality of the sexes and a rejection of Old Testament practices wrt women, however subsequent practice favours the Old Testament to Jesus on this...

[Loki]

Sorry to take so long to get back to you all, but Thor's really not in the mood at the moment to deal with the ... er ... weighty issues you've been struggling with here. Property values in Valhalla have gone through the roof in the past few years, and Thor's had to take a second job to keep up with the mortgage payments on the condo he bought 18 months ago.

Anyway, Sigyen and I will do our best to answer your thoughtful questions :

bjornart : Sure. I'd ask them what they think of that Yahweh/Allah-dude. And if they think they would have had more success if they had promissed eternal damnation to those who did not worship.
Yahweh's pretty cool, but getting a bit doddery. Not at all happy with the way his son has changed the business from "plague and vengeance" into politically correct "love and respect".
Allah's a bit ... intense. Always with the bowing and stuff, but he's quite amusing when he's pissed - does a great Johnny Carson impersonation!
About the damnation thing - no, not our scene. Actually, we're quite happy to keep most of the human riff-raff out of Asgard, thank you very much.

cwl : One could go on to ask if they regret their rather concrete approach towards the ultimate questions and whether they feel that they should have included more metaphysical stuff in their religion (such as holy ghosts, incarnated saviours, ultimate prophets, eternal scriptures etc.).
No regrets! Frankly, if swords, mead, plenty of red meat, beserkers, and warrior-maidens aren't for you, then we don't want you in our religion.

shemp : I'd ask him what he'd do if he had a hammer
Well, somewhat surprisingly, he hammers. Mind you, carpentry isn't really his specialty, and he's been cutting down on the part time handiman business since the "unfortunate incident" with Skrymir the giant on the road to Utgard.

kedo1981 : do you ever hammer in the morning, all over this town?
Thor hammers quite a bit, yes.

LuxFerum : Did you ever hammered your finger?
No, Thor has never "hammered his finger". Just as well! Medical Insurance is ridiculous in Asgard these days.

CWL : I would ask Odin if he ever turned a blind eye.
Oh, haha. Real funny. With a sense of humour like that, you must be a lawyer, right? Anyway, Odin was warned to stay away from Yggdrasill - but you know boys and trees!

shemp : Do you know that Hagar guy?
Yes, quite a nice bloke. Excellent at Trivial Pursuit.

Blue Monk : Who does your hair?
Thor uses the same stylist as Fabio.

c4ts : How do you cast that charm which makes you irresistable to women? (Ooops, that's my question for Odin.)
I could tell you, but then we'd have to kill you. Sure you want to know?

neutrino_cannon : where can I buy a fafnir?
Unfortunately, the export and sale of Fafnirs is strictly regulated under the United Nations "Creatures of Mass Destruction" conventions.

Aoidoi : Are you so thor you can't thit down?
He doesn't think that was funny (his sense of humour could use a little developing). I'd avoid thunderstorms for the next few months if I were you.

o fantoche de meia : How many stones in Wales?
15,438,937,245,472.

whitefork : I'm interested in Amlodhi the titan and his spinning top, or his mill. (really - the very thought-provoking Hamlet's Mill and all that)
http://www.sourcetext.com/pythagoras/hamlets.html
Amlodhi has retired now, and manages the local hotel.

Max560 : Why do you keep shouting "By the Power of Greyskull!"?
Wrong god, dude.

CWL : I would also ask whether Freyr was ever arrested for disorderly conduct.
Why do people always want to keep bringing that back up! Hell, done the crime, done the time - let's move on, okay?

no one in particular : I guess Thor could not be reached for questioning, either that or he thought it below him to respond. However, when The Onion asked Zeus what he thought about God’s monopoly on religion and he responded!
Look, give the guy a break! Cable access to the internet hasn't reached the outer regions of Asgard yet, and Thor can only access the JREF from the local internet cafe.

Oh, and about Zeus - the guy's a pompus old windbag. I wouldn't believe anything that bunch of rejects at Mt Olympus said.

MRC_Hans : ... And none of them is omnibenevolent; actually they didn't give a hoot about the well-being of the peasants. A very pragmatic religion, heheh.
Thanks! We like it.

BillyTK : Who's harder, you or Jesus?

Did it annoy you when you and your family were bumped for Jesus and his family?

What do you think off Jack Kirby's likeness of you?
Thor's harder than Jesus (wink wink).
Did we get annoyed by the corporate buyout engineered by that wimpy little mummies-boy from Palestine? You bet! "Just a simple profit sharing arrangement" he said. "You'll hardly notice any changes", he said. Damn liar. Crucifixion was too good for him.
Jack Kirby's likeness? Thor's a 'little bigger' round the waistline nowadays - but he still works out, so he's in pretty good shape.

[c4ts]

Originally posted by Loki
I could tell you, but then we'd have to kill you. Sure you want to know?

Hmmm... that knowledge is worthless to me if I'm dead. How about a deal? I recently purchaced a man's soul on E-Bay. I'll sacrifice his soul, my younger brother, a nice fat juicy cow, and a big screen TV set to you, in exchange for the knowledge.

[CWL]

Originally posted by Loki
Oh, haha. Real funny. With a sense of humour like that, you must be a lawyer, right?

Well, what can I tell you - guilty as charged. How is Forseti (http://www.pantheon.org/articles/f/forseti.html) doing these days by the way? Perhaps he is looking for new associates for his practice? I would be very interested in joining a firm with divine qualities - perhaps he could teach me how to bend the Laws of Physics? I could do with some free will...

[Suspected Idiot]

Can you ask him if he knows where I left my wallet? There's a pitcher of mead in it for him if he can find it.

[Dancing David]

Hiya Thor:

What do you think of the Vanir, especialy that Freya goddess is she as hot as they say?
What does Siff have to say about you having Freya over for that 'all-nighter'?
Does Siff use a wig or a weave, ever since that stolen hair thing?
Is it true that Siff calls you Snore the Thunderer?

Inquiring minds want to know.

dancing David

[CWL]

Oh, I got another one. At the risk of getting whacked in the head by his hammer, I would ask Thor if he was happy with Eric Allan Kramer's depiction of him in The Incredible Hulk Returns (http://us.imdb.com/Title?0095368).

[Kiri]

Psst! Wanna buy a snake-bite kit and an X-large muzzle?