I'm a godfather.

[Upchurch]

So, as of 1:15 PM, Saturday, October 15, 2004, after an incredibly difficult pregnancy and amazing quick birth, I have a 21 inch, 6 lbs. 4 oz. godson named Broderick. :D :D :D

Now, in modern times, what that really means that if something should happen to the parents, it is my responsibility to take care of and provide for Brody. More traditionally, as I understand it, the godparent's responsibility also included the spiritual development of the child, whether or not the parents were alive.

As a Unitarian (and assuming I have any real say in the kid's spiritual development in this day and age), I think I'm in an interesting position to do that, but I could go several routes. On the one hand, I could push the kid towards my own perspective on the world, one that I have developed with age and experience. On the other hand, I could instead expose him to a wide variety of thoughts and beliefs and give him the tools to decide on his own, even though that might lead him in a direction that neither his parents nor I would approve.

What, do ya think, is the best approach to this sort of thing?

(as a preface, I have no children of my own and have only marginal experience with young children.)

[Lisa Simpson]

I have been using option 2 for my own children. I like them to have as much info as possible so they can decide for themselves. The younger two don't have any opinions yet, and the oldest--he's 14--has declared himself to be an atheist.

[HarryKeogh]

firstly, congrats. I hope mom and baby are fine.

I'm a godfather myself. I'm also an atheist. The parents are Catholic and are raising him Catholic so out of respect for the parents I will not be pushing my views on the child. Being raised Catholic myself I know the basics (and then some) of catholicism so I just play along. I say prayers with him when he asks and don't contradict anything the parents teach him. Remember, it's your godkid, not your kid. You don't want to step on the parent's toes. When in doubt ask the parents first.

So I don't offer anything in the spiritual department. but I do get to answer all his questions on how the world works ("why is the sky blue" stuff) but sometimes have to qualify stuff with some God reference.

As to why I accepted the role of godfather when I'm an atheist, it's an honor when someone thinks you would do a great job guiding their child (issues of ethics, morality) and in the worst scenario raising their child if something should happen to them.

[Upchurch]

Originally posted by HarryKeogh
Remember, it's your godkid, not your kid. You don't want to step on the parent's toes. When in doubt ask the parents first.Too true. Fortunately, between my wife and myself, we roughly approximate the same beliefs as the parents. The dad was raised atheist (but like most atheists I know, has studied a lot of different religions) and the mom (also well studied) is what I can only describe as an independantly spiritual/religious person. She believes in a higher power, but has her own concept of what that power is and is in no way dogmatic about it. My wife is much the same way (only formally Catholic).

[Lothian]

I don’t think your position as the head of a mafia family should influence the child’s upbringing.

But seriously, if it is your role to give spiritual guidance I suggest that timely presents such as ‘Demon haunted world’ would be a nice gesture.

[Stitch]

Originally posted by Upchurch
On the other hand, I could instead expose him to a wide variety of thoughts and beliefs and give him the tools to decide on his own, even though that might lead him in a direction that neither his parents nor I would approve.


My father is an Anglican Christian and a regular church go-oer, I am not, but the environment you describe was how I was brought up. Christianity was not forced on me, my school RE lessons covered Christianity, Islam, Judaisim Buddishm and Hinduism. Seeing each in turn, the similarities and the internal condradications lead me to my current 99% Atheist 1% Agnostic stance.

To not present all sides of the case smacks of bias and may well comae back to haunt you. Present each case on its own merits, let them draw their own conclusions. Assuming you are in a position to be that influential.

Congratulations BTW :)

[CFLarsen]

Originally posted by Upchurch
I'm a godfather

First, get him in the family business. Forget the guns, grab the cannolis.

Some day, and that day may never come, you will call upon him....

[punchdrunk]

Originally posted by Upchurch
So, as of 1:15 PM, Saturday, October 15, 2004, after an incredibly difficult pregnancy and amazing quick birth, I have a 21 inch, 6 lbs. 4 oz. godson named Broderick. :D :D :D

Now, in modern times, what that really means that if something should happen to the parents, it is my responsibility to take care of and provide for Brody. More traditionally, as I understand it, the godparent's responsibility also included the spiritual development of the child, whether or not the parents were alive.

As a Unitarian (and assuming I have any real say in the kid's spiritual development in this day and age), I think I'm in an interesting position to do that, but I could go several routes. On the one hand, I could push the kid towards my own perspective on the world, one that I have developed with age and experience. On the other hand, I could instead expose him to a wide variety of thoughts and beliefs and give him the tools to decide on his own, even though that might lead him in a direction that neither his parents nor I would approve.

What, do ya think, is the best approach to this sort of thing?

(as a preface, I have no children of my own and have only marginal experience with young children.)

Easy: Let Jack T. Chick (http://www.chick.com/) handle all of the young-uns questions about the afterdeath. Jack will get the kid straightened out in no time.

[Soapy Sam]

Upchurch- Me too. No kids, one godson. My advice is leave well alone. When it is old enough to make sense, feed with sweets and occasional injections of cash. Maintain your relationship with the parents, but betray them, by recommending motor bikes and betting on horses, when it reaches it's teens.
All youngsters need at least one loony uncle- faintly disreputable, with the odd whiff of brimstone about him.
This has been my part.

I wish you every success.

ps. If the parents perish mysteriously, have nothing to do with it on any account, as it probably was responsible.

[Keneke]

Originally posted by rhoadp
Easy: Let Jack T. Chick (http://www.chick.com/) handle all of the young-uns questions about the afterdeath.

Whoa...Chick movies!

[Upchurch]

First, thanks for the congrats. I got to help bring little Brody home this morning. It was all a bunch of good fun.

Second, I don't honestly think that I'm in charge of the kid's spiritual upbringing, but more an easily flattered source of cheap babysitting. ;) (and I am too. complete push-over.)

Third, I gotta agree that the "present all options and guide them through it" method sounds like the best for child raising. I have zero experience in the area and I find it an interesting question to ponder.

Actually, child development, in general, is starting to fascinate me, but that's probably another thread on another board.

[Gestahl]

Originally posted by Upchurch
So, as of 1:15 PM, Saturday, October 15, 2004, after an incredibly difficult pregnancy and amazing quick birth, I have a 21 inch, 6 lbs. 4 oz. godson named Broderick. :D :D :D

On the one hand, I could push the kid towards my own perspective on the world, one that I have developed with age and experience. On the other hand, I could instead expose him to a wide variety of thoughts and beliefs and give him the tools to decide on his own, even though that might lead him in a direction that neither his parents nor I would approve.


Same situation here, although it is not generally known among my family the depths to which I disagree with Christianity ;-). I did have a conversation with his parents (he is still only two), though, and this is what I came away with:

1) The good thing about being a god-parent is you get to learn things your parents are not willing/able/comfortable teaching. My godfather and I's relationship was this way.

2) You should never lie. If he asks what you think, tell him. If he asks about how things are, tell him (for those obvious tough ones) you don't really know, but here is what people have had to say about it and what I think. If he asks you why you believe something or other, tell him why, but also, most importantly, tell him why you might be wrong.

Him going in a direction that neither you nor his parents approve might happen regardless of what you tell him. That is his choice as a thinking person.

That's how my relationship worked with mine (godfather), and I turned out OK... I think...

[cbish]

Congrats.

As a godfather of a college freshman, here's your real job. You step in when son & dad are about to come to blows. Send dad off for a beer then take junior out behind the barn for some 'splainin'.:D

[Upchurch]

Originally posted by cbish

As a godfather of a college freshman, here's your real job. You step in when son & dad are about to come to blows. Send dad off for a beer then take junior out behind the barn for some 'splainin'.:D You left out the part where I then go join Dad and then we all go to our various homes and log onto City of Heroes and <strike>kill</strike> ...er, arrest some bad guys.

[cbish]

Yes that's correct! After the beers, of course.

[Upchurch]

One could argue that beer is apart of one's spiritual development, right?

Lordy, the kid is three days old and I'm all ready planning on getting him drunk

[cbish]

Yes that's correct also. I'll refer you to Bill Hoyt.

It's also good for teething........not for the kid.....for you!

[Kitty Chan]

Congrats Godfather

It is a honour and I agree you should reflect the parents wishes" and you can be a sounding board if you get a close relationship. The one to ask questions young Brody does not want to ask his parents. (And not even spiritual)

If he asks you about God let him decide, get him to look at the Bible not listen only to the various preachers etc get him to look it up himself, then he can make his decision.

So Have fun go to the zoo show him how to enjoy and appreciate things and life. And most of all maybe you wont tell him anything maybe you just might listen, kids are funny that way :)