Here's your REAL proof of God...

[Z]

God exists. Why? Because you can't prove that God doesn't exist.

YAY! I WIN! I'd like my million in $2 bills, please...

What? What do you mean, that proof doesn't work? But that's lifegazer's system of reasoning!! And isn't he the expert philosopher?

:D

spam spam spam wonderful spam...

[The Don]

Spam is wonderful. I like mine seared on one of those ridged griddle pans (so that you get the X markings and so the worst of the fat runs off) and then served with a lightly dressed green salad with home made croutons.

[Z]

No way, dude! Pan-fried until it's nearly black, and served on whole wheat bread with plenty of mustard!

Which also proves that God exists.

Say, Don, what's YOUR proof that God exists?

IN fact, I invite EVERYONE to prove that God exists. Remember - any logic is open - any at all!

:D

[The GM]

Because I said so.

I win this debate.

[Anathema]

1. I've redefined infinity
2. Therefore, reality must be non-spatial.
926. Therefore, get praying you bozos.

[Piscivore]

Originally posted by Anathema
1. I've redefined infinity
2. Therefore, reality must be non-spatial.
926. Therefore, get praying you bozos.

Plagarist. ;)

God exists because I have warm and fuzzy feelings when I think about "him".

[Dragonrock]

1. last night I had a Taco
2. Tacos are so delicious that no human could have invented them.
3. The Great Taco In The Sky created Tacos for us to enjoy.
4. The Great Taco In The Sky is God.
5. Now I'm hungry for tex-mex...

[The Don]

I prefer argumentum ad bibendum

http://images.art.com/images/products/large/10095000/10095922.jpg

- God is good
- My goodness, my Guiness
- Therefore goodness exists
- Therefore God exists

[lifegazer]

God exists.
Why?
Because zaayrdragon informs me that spacetime is absolutely nothing. Yet spacetime bends and warps. Therefore, I propose that only an entity such as God is capable of bending 'nothing'.

On yer knees plonkers.

[tdn]

Originally posted by Dragonrock
1. last night I had a Taco
2. Tacos are so delicious that no human could have invented them.
3. The Great Taco In The Sky created Tacos for us to enjoy.
4. The Great Taco In The Sky is God.
5. Now I'm hungry for tex-mex...

I know that God exists. Earlier today I was wondering what I was going to do for dinner tonight. I asked for God's guidance an in the matter. Suddenly, it just came to me, like an answer to my prayers -- Tacos!

Yea God!

And I declare Dragonrock to be the winner of this debate.

[uruk]

Your all wrong! Tacos are not mentioned in the bible, therefore all tacos are the work of satan! Tacos were put on earth by satan to confuse you from the word of god! Jesus is the only food mentioned in the bible that is worthy of christian consumption! And it can't rice jesus either!!!!!!

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by tdn
And I declare Dragonrock to be the winner of this debate.


Yippe!

Thang yoo, thang yoo vury mush


Hey Lifegazer! Maybe if you had a cool god like the GTITS then more people would believe you!

[The GM]

Originally posted by tdn


And I declare Dragonrock to be the winner of this debate.

No way, man. I already declared myself the winner.
Argument by squatters rights.

[Savagemutt]

Originally posted by Dragonrock
Yippe!

Thang yoo, thang yoo vury mush


Hey Lifegazer! Maybe if you had a cool god like the GTITS then more people would believe you!

Bah! You're probably one of those "Soft Shell" worshippers, corrupting the crispy word of god!

[control_zape]

Originally posted by Dragonrock
1. last night I had a Taco
2. Tacos are so delicious that no human could have invented them.
3. The Great Taco In The Sky created Tacos for us to enjoy.
4. The Great Taco In The Sky is God.
5. Now I'm hungry for tex-mex...

6. Therefore God must be mexican.

[The GM]

Originally posted by control_zape
6. Therefore God must be mexican.

Well, with a name like Jesus...

[Lisa Simpson]

God exists because movies and TV tell me so.

Bruce Almighty
Heaven Can Wait
Oh, God
Agnes of God
Godzilla
Joan of Arcadia
Highway to Heaven
Touched by an Angel
The Simpsons :D

[TragicMonkey]

Originally posted by Lisa Simpson
God exists because movies and TV tell me so.

Bruce Almighty
Heaven Can Wait
Oh, God
Agnes of God
Godzilla
Joan of Arcadia
Highway to Heaven
Touched by an Angel
The Simpsons :D

James Bond must exist even more than God does. He's a more popular franchise, I guess.

[Lisa Simpson]

Nah, I think I could find more 'god' movies. I'm just too lazy.

[Piscivore]

Originally posted by The Don
I prefer argumentum ad bibendum
- God is good
- My goodness, my Guiness
- Therefore goodness exists
- Therefore God exists

I'll accept alcohol as proof of god :D

[control_zape]

Originally posted by Piscivore
I'll accept alcohol as proof of god :D

We can merge this proof with the taco proof.

Nothing beats a taco & a beer.

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by Savagemutt
Bah! You're probably one of those "Soft Shell" worshippers, corrupting the crispy word of god!

Ancient Taco Recipe
Concepts 13:5
It is not the wrapper that a Taco is, but that Flesh that makes its soul.


This reading from the Ancient Taco Recipe shows that hard and soft Tacoists are dividing themselves into subgroups that the GTITS does not recognize. Join hands with your Taco brothers and feel whip-like lash of salsa on your tongue.

[Marquis de Carabas]

1) God is dog spelt backwards
2) Dogs exist
3) I've seen a dog walk backwards*
4) Therefore God exists

*Yes, I realise this is hearsay, but Puss saw it, too.

[tdn]

Originally posted by The GM
No way, man. I already declared myself the winner.
Argument by squatters rights.

Sorry, but if I'm eating tacos tonight, I'm going to need squatter's rights about 3 hours later.

[Z]

Originally posted by lifegazer
God exists.
Why?
Because zaayrdragon informs me that spacetime is absolutely nothing. Yet spacetime bends and warps. Therefore, I propose that only an entity such as God is capable of bending 'nothing'.

On yer knees plonkers.

We often take ourselves too seriously. It's good to see you have a sense of humor too, L.G.

God exists.

Why?

Cuz LG sez so, that's why.

And cuz plonkers just cues us in on his absolute authority! :D

[Skeptical Greg]

Originally posted by Marquis de Carabas
1) God is dog spelt backwards
2) Dogs exist
3) I've seen a dog walk backwards*
4) Therefore God exists

*Yes, I realise this is hearsay, but Puss saw it, too.

1. Dog is god spelled backwards
2. God is a dog.
3. I think I just ran over God!
4. Am I in trouble?

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by Diogenes
1. Dog is god spelled backwards
2. God is a dog.
3. I think I just ran over God!
4. Am I in trouble?

Only if you were driving in reverse.

[Z]

You know, I think Emperor Norton I was God.

fnord

[Skeptical Greg]

Originally posted by Dragonrock
Only if you were driving in reverse.

Are you really in Dallas, or one of those suburbs like Rowlett; and are just tired of trying to explain it, when people ask:
" Rowlett? Where the f is that ? " :D

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by Diogenes
Are you really in Dallas, or one of those suburbs like Rowlett; and are just tired of trying to explain it, when people ask:
" Rowlett? Where the f is that ? " :D

Lewisville and yes.

:D

[Piscivore]

Originally posted by control_zape
We can merge this proof with the taco proof.

Nothing beats a taco & a beer.

As long as it's a fish taco. :D

[Savagemutt]

Originally posted by Dragonrock
Ancient Taco Recipe
Concepts 13:5
It is not the wrapper that a Taco is, but that Flesh that makes its soul.


This reading from the Ancient Taco Recipe shows that hard and soft Tacoists are dividing themselves into subgroups that the GTITS does not recognize. Join hands with your Taco brothers and feel whip-like lash of salsa on your tongue.

That is a mis-translation of the original recipe.

The poor deluded soft-shellers don't even realize that they're actually worshipping a burrito.

[Z]

'Tis not the firmness of the shell, but the intention of taconess which matters. But fill not your shell, hard or soft, with the flesh of the fish which swims in brine, nor of the fowl which clucks in the yard; only with the bovine divine may thou fill thy shell. And sour cream; The GTITS just LOVES sour cream.

[Lisa Simpson]

Originally posted by zaayrdragon
'Tis not the firmness of the shell, but the intention of taconess which matters. But fill not your shell, hard or soft, with the flesh of the fish which swims in brine, nor of the fowl which clucks in the yard; only with the bovine divine may thou fill thy shell. And sour cream; The GTITS just LOVES sour cream.

Well, then I cannot be a tacoist. I do so love the fish tacos.

[TragicMonkey]

I defy the need for tacos! The true path to enlightenment is via tamales! Tacos were only necessary before the coming of the messiah...now is the new era, the era of tamales! Death to all who defy the tamale, and cling to the old ways of the taco!

[Z]

Heretic! Heathen!

An eternity of drive-thru bean burritos awaits you, lest you accept the Taco as your savior! Repent!! Repent, and consume 10 packets of 'Fire' sauce as penance!!

[TragicMonkey]

Originally posted by zaayrdragon
Heretic! Heathen!

An eternity of drive-thru bean burritos awaits you, lest you accept the Taco as your savior! Repent!! Repent, and consume 10 packets of 'Fire' sauce as penance!!

Woe unto you who has not seen the glorious tamale light! And hot sauce fazes the faithful not at all, for the tamale is born of fire and is deliciously hot, hot, hot!

[Anathema]

Originally posted by zaayrdragon
Heretic! Heathen!
An eternity of drive-thru bean burritos awaits you, lest you accept the Taco as your savior! Repent!! Repent, and consume 10 pack
You are merely exposing your own desirelessness for burritos. Address the issue, beanhating plonker.

[Skeptical Greg]

Originally posted by zaayrdragon
'Tis not the firmness of the shell, but the intention of taconess which matters. But fill not your shell, hard or soft, with the flesh of the fish which swims in brine, nor of the fowl which clucks in the yard; only with the bovine divine may thou fill thy shell. And sour cream; The GTITS just LOVES sour cream.

Pork! What about PorK? What good is a Taco that has not been porked?

[Lisa Simpson]

Originally posted by Diogenes
Pork! What about PorK? What good is a Taco that has not been porked?

Porking tacos is not only heresy, but it's disgusting as well.

Carnitas tacos, however, are delicious.

[Dragonrock]

A Taco can be made from any flesh as it shows here:

Reading from the Ancient Taco Recipe
Texas version
Translated from the original Mexican text by Dan and that other guy whose name everyone forgets
1987ish

Concepts 1:1-39

In the begining there was a table
On the table were scattered beer bottles
empty save one:

The bottle of Corona was half full
floating within were two cigarette butts.

The people looked around, their thirst quenched
but their stomachs growling.

The Great Taco moved among them
They could not see, but the smell carresed their nostrils
The aroma touched their hearts and stomachs
Understanding was within them and their hunger peaked.

The Great Taco showed them a vision of corn tortillas
Folded in half they were and fried crispy and golden
The grease was still hot and the shells glistened with holy light
And mankind knew it was good.

The Great Taco caused meat to fall from the sky
Shreadded beef, spiced and grilled with onions and peppers
The beef filled the shells
And mankind knew it was good.

Dark, foreboding clouds filled the heavens
From these clouds rained sour cream and guacamole
Some shells were touched by cream, others by guacamole
Some caught both and others, none
Mankind saw the choices, the alternatives, the combos
And mankind knew it was good.

Lettuce and tomato grew up from the ground
Placing itself within the shells
Cool lettuce, cool tomatoes, hot beef
Crunchy lettuce and shells
Soft beef and tomatoes
Contrast of textures was within the taco
And mankind knew it was good.

The Great Taco raised his hand
And a great lake of salsa appeared
Cold and spicy with a hint of cilantro and lime
Salsa touched the tacos and burned the tongues
And mankind knew it was good.

The Great Taco then appeared to mankind saying:
Beef is the One True Ingredient
But chicken or fish or venison or buffalo
Or any creature that crawls or walks or flies or swims
Can a Taco be made.
Remember, be it crunchy or soft
you should see the taco in all foods
But always hold the taco as the one

Mankind watched the Great Taco ascend to the sky
Where he always remains then gorged themselves
Tacos were consumed in ones and twos
and by the handful
And mankind knew it was good.

Burp.

[Z]

Well, at least you're using the 1987 Texan translation - thought for a second you were going to quote from the all-too-popular 1982 Taco Viva Revised Translation.

[Lisa Simpson]

Originally posted by zaayrdragon
Well, at least you're using the 1987 Texan translation - thought for a second you were going to quote from the all-too-popular 1982 Taco Viva Revised Translation.

As long as it isn't the Taco Bell translation, I'm okay with it.

[Skeptical Greg]

Your illustrious tale notwithstanding, anyone who has not eaten a Taco from a street vendor on the bridge in Tiajuana will not be allowed to enter the kingdom of GTITS, but will be condemned to spend eternity in the dumpster behind the Long John Silver's in Corpus Christi, Texas...

P.S.

Even this may be forfeit if you ask " What kind of meat is this? "..

[Z]

Is that the same street vendor positioned roughly in the middle of a 45-minute travelling distance ring of heavily used toilets, bushes, and foul-smelling pits?

:D

[Dragonrock]

All the versions prior to 1987 were translated under the supervision of the Bellians, those perverse people who desecrate the Taco by combining it with the disgusting word "Bell". It is obvious that all translations prior to 1987 were censored to make it appear that the Bellians were following the will of the GTITS. This was the first independent translation and is considered the most accurate.

[Z]

Originally posted by Diogenes
P.S.

Even this may be forfeit if you ask " What kind of meat is this? "..

Three places where you NEVER ask that question:

Mexico
Korea
McDonalds

[Wudang]

It has been scientifically proven that all so-called "taco" sightings are just misidentified sausage rolls. All the evidence for the existence of tacos is anecdotal and many of the witnesses admit to being under the influence of alcohol at the time of the purported "taco" encounter.

[Skeptical Greg]

Originally posted by Wudang
It has been scientifically proven that all so-called "taco" sightings are just misidentified sausage rolls. All the evidence for the existence of tacos is anecdotal and many of the witnesses admit to being under the influence of alcohol at the time of the purported "taco" encounter.

Tell that to the Marines who have made the pilgrimage to Tiajuana!

[control_zape]

Originally posted by TragicMonkey
I defy the need for tacos! The true path to enlightenment is via tamales! Tacos were only necessary before the coming of the messiah...now is the new era, the era of tamales! Death to all who defy the tamale, and cling to the old ways of the taco!

Well... here in Mexico the path to enlightenment is via T vitamin: Tacos, Tortas & Tamales.

[alfaniner]

............??????????

...and all this time I've been kneeling to a cheeseburger...

[Lisa Simpson]

Originally posted by alfaniner
............??????????

...and all this time I've been kneeling to a cheeseburger...

Heathen.

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by alfaniner
............??????????

...and all this time I've been kneeling to a cheeseburger...

That's not as bad as you think. If you notice, a "cheeseburger" has meat, cheese, lettuce, tomato, and a tomato based sause all in a grain based bun, which is allegorical to the meat, shredded lettuce, chopped tomato, shredded cheese and salsa within a corn based taco shell. This shows that all foods are taco at their base. You do not have to eat a taco with every meal, just see the taco that is the spirit of all foods.

[alfaniner]

Originally posted by Dragonrock
That's not as bad as you think. If you notice, a "cheeseburger" has meat, cheese, lettuce, tomato, and a tomato based sause all in a grain based bun, which is allegorical to the meat, shredded lettuce, chopped tomato, shredded cheese and salsa within a corn based taco shell. This shows that all foods are taco at their base. You do not have to eat a taco with every meal, just see the taco that is the spirit of all foods.

Aahhhhhhhhh!

So all those other psuedo-Taco thingies (Churritos, Chalupas, Burritos, Chimichangas, etc.) are merely different manifestations of the One, True, Taco-ness? I think I've just been enlightened!!


Pass the hot sauce.




If some of us end up attending TAM III -- we should consider doing some improv...

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by alfaniner
Aahhhhhhhhh!

So all those other psuedo-Taco thingies (Churritos, Chalupas, Burritos, Chimichangas, etc.) are merely different manifestations of the One, True, Taco-ness? I think I've just been enlightened!!


Pass the hot sauce.

Welcome to the fold, soon you will learn to see the Taco in pizza, roast beef, and even chicken ala king.

[Skeptical Greg]

Originally posted by Dragonrock
Welcome to the fold, soon you will learn to see the Taco in pizza, roast beef, and even chicken ala king.

Sounds sort of like the ' Trinity ' doctrine, only with more choices..


Choice is good, but how can you be sure you are not making the GTITS angry?

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by Diogenes
Sounds sort of like the ' Trinity ' doctrine, only with more choices..


Choice is good, but how can you be sure you are not making the GTITS angry?

Concepts 1:36 says

Remember, be it crunchy or soft
you should see the taco in all foods
But always hold the taco as the one


No where does it say that only tacos must be consumed. Only that we must keep the Taco in our hearts. While the food we eat, whatever it's form, would feed our body, the Taco in our heart will nourish our soul.

[alfaniner]

Originally posted by Diogenes
Sounds sort of like the ' Trinity ' doctrine, only with more choices..


I thought the Holy Trinity was

Taco
Potato Oles
Pepsi

???

[The Cats Venm]

I'm god.

Want proof?

Just send $5 and a SASE to [address censored by my eternal nemesis, Tricksy B*stard].


Darn you Tricksy!

[RebeccaBradley]

You're all on the wrong track with your hellish taco heresies. The truth is that taco chips are all shards of the original Great Unitary Taco, the reconstruction of which should be our urgent mission in life. The rest is illusion....

[The Don]

Originally posted by Dragonrock
No where does it say that only tacos must be consumed. Only that we must keep the Taco in our hearts. While the food we eat, whatever it's form, would feed our body, the Taco in our heart will nourish our soul.
Is this transubstantiation ?

"This pizza base represents the shell of taco and the topping the filling "

[Skeptical Greg]

Originally posted by The Don
Is this transubstantiation ?

"This pizza base represents the shell of taco and the topping the filling "

Definitely not... All you have to do, to make a pizza a Taco, is to fold it over..

Transubstantian has taken place, if it squirms, shouts or both when you take a bite..

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by The Don
Is this transubstantiation ?

"This pizza base represents the shell of taco and the topping the filling "

A Taco is a Taco and a pizza is a pizza. One must learn to find the Taco that is within the pizza and the Taco spirit that is in our hearts, only then will one learn that a pizza IS a Taco.