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View Full Version : We are all part of God's plan


Checkmite
27th October 2004, 09:52 PM
I find it very funny that whenever a hurricane does not hit Florida (for example), resident loudmouthed evengelists like Pat Robertson like to take credit, insisting that, without doubt, the hurricane's course was altered because God answered their all-powerful prayers. Of course, when a hurricane does hit Florida, it's not because their prayers didn't work; it's because God answered "no" because he had some gay people or abortion doctors to kill or otherwise punish as part of His Great Plan, and to hell (more or less) with the good peoples' prayers. (As an aside, it seems to me that God needs a new gay-killing method. In this day and age, hurricane deaths rarely enter the double digits, and the chances that any of them were gay are, like, negligible.) Interestingly, it never occurs to these people that there's an alternative - that the hurricanes that didn't hit Florida were not answered prayers, but merely also part of God's Great Plan; in other words, they would've missed Florida whether everyone prayed or nobody prayed.

Hurricanes are horribly devastating. Not many people die anymore, but property is damaged and lives are destroyed. Yet, we're told that this terrible tragedy is actually a Good Thing - because it was part of God's Great Plan, and nothing God would do can be Bad, even if it otherwise seems Bad. God works in mysterious ways, after all.

Therefore, I demand that this self-reinforcing delusive logic be applied to us as well. By "us", I mean atheists, agnostics, fellow deists, non-Christian theists, and non-fundamentalist Christians. God caused us to be exposed to evidence that could only lead us to the conclusions we now stand by. The only reason we are not fundamentalist Christians is because God, through various means, planted the seeds of heresy in our brains, and nurtured those seeds, allowing them to blossom. And "exposure to the message" does not matter, because God has known ever since we were born that such exposure would simply not work on us. Think about it: if God really wanted us to believe what fundamentalists like 1inChrist want us to believe, then he could surely provide us with much better evidence - something more compelling than a (very nice) stranger who insists that we should believe what he tells us simply because he "knows he's right". After all, when God created us in the womb, he gifted us all with particular talents and tendencies. One of the tendencies he has seen fit to bestow upon us is to value empiricism, and - being God - he must've known what these tendencies would bring us, and he must know what it will take for us to change our minds.

Knowing this, God has decided not to change our minds. This is obviously because he does not want us to be fundamentalist Christians. There can be no other explanation.

Attention, 1inChrist and others of like mind: Our not being fundamentalist Christians is part of God's Great Plan. You must learn to deal with it, the way you deal with the occasional hurricane that hits despite your prayers. You may pray that one day you will be able to convert us "heathens", but God has answered those prayers, and the answer is "no".

Oh, by the way - I win this debate. (argument from preemptive declaration of victory)

c4ts
27th October 2004, 10:28 PM
Too bad the hurricanes didn't knock down Kent Hovind's Dinosaur Land or the Holy Land Experience. That would have made a believer out of me.

CFLarsen
27th October 2004, 10:52 PM
Originally posted by Joshua Korosi
In this day and age, hurricane deaths rarely enter the double digits....

...due to science.

Originally posted by Joshua Korosi
Not many people die anymore...

...due to science.

Originally posted by Joshua Korosi
Oh, by the way - I win this debate. (argument from preemptive declaration of victory)

Absolutely not. You lose, by using logic. Logic, as we know, is the devil's tool.

(It really is easier being a fundie...)

Checkmite
28th October 2004, 12:01 AM
Originally posted by CFLarsen

...due to science.

Science is part of God's Great Plan, too. If it weren't, he would never have allowed man to develop it.

Absolutely not. You lose, by using logic. Logic, as we know, is the devil's tool.


It is only the devil's tool if it is used for evil. Since I am using it to plumb the intentions of a theoretical God, it is good. So there.

Operaider
28th October 2004, 12:05 AM
Originally posted by Joshua Korosi
Science is part of God's Great Plan, too. If it weren't, he would never have allowed man to develop it.



It is only the devil's tool if it is used for evil. Since I am using it to plumb the intentions of a theoretical God, it is good. So there. Really? That's not what 1 in C says. You guys should get together and get you story straight

Zombified
28th October 2004, 12:45 AM
Originally posted by Operaider
Really? That's not what 1 in C says. You guys should get together and get you story straight It would be cooler if Josh would just sic his bees on 1inCh.

Operaider
28th October 2004, 12:46 AM
If he's gonna do it, he better do it fast.
I don't think 1 inCH will be with us much longer

neutrino_cannon
28th October 2004, 01:47 AM
Originally posted by Zombified
It would be cooler if Josh would just sic his bees on 1inCh.



Would it be possible to douse someone in some sort of pheromone that makes bees attack them?

I liked how in Pratchet's Discworld series Blind Io is everyone's thunder god. Using a variety of false noses and mustaches he single handedly supplies the universal demand to claim that you can negotiate with the weather.

Checkmite
28th October 2004, 09:40 AM
A plague of bees? How quaint... :D

Originally posted by neutrino_cannon

Would it be possible to douse someone in some sort of pheromone that makes bees attack them?[/offtopic]


Theoretically, but I don't know where the exact solution is available in such a large quantity.

BTW...neutrino, that avatar rocks. Where is that facility again?

Zombified
28th October 2004, 09:44 AM
Originally posted by Joshua Korosi
BTW...neutrino, that avatar rocks. Where is that facility again?SuperKamiokande, Kamioka, Gifu prefecture, Japan. My brief stint in grad school involved SuperK. :D

neutrino_cannon
28th October 2004, 09:47 AM
Originally posted by Joshua Korosi
A plague of bees? How quaint... :D



Theoretically, but I don't know where the exact solution is available in such a large quantity.

BTW...neutrino, that avatar rocks. Where is that facility again?

The super kamiokande (or Super K as she's known by her admirers) is located in Mozumi mine in Gifu, Japan.

And I'm not saying just bees you know, ants, wasps, termites, roaches, whatever.

Shoot if you could get it to work on other arthropods, I'd sure as heck settle for a plauge of scorpions.

Hmmm... is there anyway that you could use locusts to affect weather patterns?

Here I go with the Pratchet again!

pupdog
28th October 2004, 10:10 AM
What a load of nonsense! In case you have forgotten, here (http://bordergatewayprotocol.net/jon/humor/images/GODvsBUSH.gif) is GOD'S PLAN regarding Florida and hurricanes.

Skeptical Greg
28th October 2004, 10:51 AM
Originally posted by neutrino_cannon


Would it be possible to douse someone in some sort of pheromone that makes bees attack them?

I'm sure I saw something on TLC or Discovery where they did exactly that..

TragicMonkey
28th October 2004, 11:01 AM
Originally posted by Diogenes
I'm sure I saw something on TLC or Discovery where they did exactly that..

It was "Honey Nut Cheerios". Guaranteed to bring about instant swarm of bees.

Much like "Frosted Flakes" will get you mauled by tigers.

Checkmite
28th October 2004, 11:08 AM
Originally posted by Diogenes
I'm sure I saw something on TLC or Discovery where they did exactly that..

Be careful that what you saw wasn't a case of someone using the Queen pheremone, which causes any bees that detect it to land and cluster tightly on whatever object (such as clothing or skin) the pheremone was applied to. A mass migration of bees onto someone's person may seem like an aggressive attack, but in this case it's not; the bees leave when the chemical wears off. Most people choose to simply have a live queen (in a cage) taped to their arm or hand or what have you, to make it easier when it's time to make the bees go away.