Cthulhu is real! Skeptics beware, YOU WILL BE DEVOURED!

[c4ts]

There is an overwhelming amount of evidence that Cthulhu is real! Just look here! (http://www.angelfire.com/alt/c4ts/index.html)

When the time comes, WHO WILL BE EATEN FIRST? Only the followers of Cthulhu know the answer! Save yourself before it is too late! Sell all your posessions and move to the sunken city of R'lyeh, communicate telepathically with 'Cthulhu in your nightmares!

[DarkMagician]

Originally posted by c4ts
There is an overwhelming amount of evidence that Cthulhu is real! Just look here! (http://www.angelfire.com/alt/c4ts/index.html)

When the time comes, WHO WILL BE EATEN FIRST? Only the followers of Cthulhu know the answer! Save yourself before it is too late! Sell all your posessions and move to the sunken city of R'lyeh, communicate telepathically with 'Cthulhu in your nightmares! Yeah, you malboxists and your false idols. Do you realize Satin hides behind logic, waiting to decieve. Believe in The Box, or it'll thow you into the square-circle river of FLAMING TIRES!

[Marquis de Carabas]

Well, before this thread gets moved, I'd like to point out that
http://www.susantaustin.com/pix/bunnies.gif
cute, furry bunnies are real, too. And if you fail to believe in them, and acknowledge their omniadorability, you will be smothered under the sheer weight of their cuteness.

[TragicMonkey]

Originally posted by c4ts
Sell all your posessions and move to the sunken city of R'lyeh, communicate telepathically with 'Cthulhu in your nightmares!

Actually, I had quite a nice little chat with Cthulhu in my nightmares. He explained his philosophy of life, which is eating everyone and sending their souls to gibber in horror in the Cyclopean immensity of abysmal sunken depths. I explained my own philosophy of life, which involves climbing trees and free lovin'. We agreed to disagree, and have a cordial relationship to this date. He still pops in on my nightmares occasionally, but expresses confusion as to why I'm so very terrified of Vivian Vance. He thinks tentacles are a prerequisite for ultimate horror.

Sing to the tune of the "Winnie the Pooh Theme":
Vivian Vance, Vivian Vance
dumpy frumpy grumpy stumpy
stuffed with fluff.
She's Vivian Vance, Vivian Vance.
Nasty scary dreadful in the buff!

Shudder. I'd prefer Cthulhu's unspeakable horrors to Vivian's.

[c4ts]

Does anyone recognize the website I was spoofing?

[Marquis de Carabas]

That was a spoof of a website? I had thought it spoofed a genre.

[Cthulhu]

Spoof or no spoof, I will soon be emerging to eat everyone.

Espically that 1inC guy...he really bothers me.


edit: it is so hard to type with these tenticles in the way.

[c4ts]

So nobody remembers those online tract sites 1inC keeps posting links to as "evidence" for Hell. Oh well, here's a link:

http://www.av1611.org/hell.html

[LostAngeles]

More proof!

http://www.bloopwatch.org/

[Cthulhu]

Originally posted by c4ts
So nobody remembers those online tract sites 1inC keeps posting links to as "evidence" for Hell. Oh well, here's a link:

http://www.av1611.org/hell.html

Oh, that site, I used to go there when I needed a good larff (as Mr. Burns would say).

Then it got annoying.

I think they are going to be appetizers. :D

[Nyarlathotep]

Originally posted by Cthulhu
Spoof or no spoof, I will soon be emerging to eat everyone.

Espically that 1inC guy...he really bothers me.


edit: it is so hard to type with these tenticles in the way.

Nobody is eating anybody without my say so.
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Say so granted. Commence with the eating.

[1inChrist]

Originally posted by c4ts
There is an overwhelming amount of evidence that Cthulhu is real! Just look here! (http://www.angelfire.com/alt/c4ts/index.html)

When the time comes, WHO WILL BE EATEN FIRST? Only the followers of Cthulhu know the answer! Save yourself before it is too late! Sell all your posessions and move to the sunken city of R'lyeh, communicate telepathically with 'Cthulhu in your nightmares!

That's some scary stuff. It's like a glimpse into the mind of Satan and how he works through the mystical.

[AWPrime]

Originally posted by 1inChrist
That's some scary stuff. It's like a glimpse into the mind of Satan and how he works through the mystical.

ミラー�見る���。

[Leif Roar]

Originally posted by 1inChrist
That's some scary stuff. It's like a glimpse into the mind of Satan and how he works through the mystical.

Don't you think you're running your lures a little too close to the surface here?

[TragicMonkey]

Originally posted by Cthulhu
it is so hard to type with these tenticles in the way.

Um, you need to be more careful with your spelling. I read the word "tenticles" completely wrong, and got a visual image I will not soon forget.

It's "tentacles".

[Ladewig]

Originally posted by c4ts
There is an overwhelming amount of evidence that Cthulhu is real! Just look here! (http://www.angelfire.com/alt/c4ts/index.html)

When the time comes, WHO WILL BE EATEN FIRST? Only the followers of Cthulhu know the answer! Save yourself before it is too late! Sell all your posessions and move to the sunken city of R'lyeh, communicate telepathically with 'Cthulhu in your nightmares!

I'm pretty weak on orthodox Cthulhuism, but doesn't everybody get eaten; believers and non-belivers?

[andycal]

Originally posted by TragicMonkey
Um, you need to be more careful with your spelling. I read the word "tenticles" completely wrong, and got a visual image I will not soon forget.

It's "tentacles".

Oooo, happened to me too. Thought Buster Gonad had joined the site... :(

[TragicMonkey]

Originally posted by Ladewig
I'm pretty weak on orthodox Cthulhuism, but doesn't everybody get eaten; believers and non-belivers?

Well, duh, everyone gets eaten. It's a matter of who goes first. Since the Monkey Gods have an understanding with Cthulhu, their worshippers go last.

Only don't tell Cthulhu, but the Monkey Gods have a plan to doublecross him once he's eaten everyone else besides their worshippers. It's a cunning plan that hinges, as all brilliant plans do, on the hurling of feces from treetops. (What the Monkey Gods lack in imagination they make up for in enthusiasm. You're really better off being eaten rather than being an innocent bystander in that melee.)

[Leif Roar]

Since we're coming up on the season to be jolly (jolly well scared, that is) - here's some uplifting hymns for all the elders out there: http://www.cthulhulives.org/Solstice/

[c4ts]

Originally posted by Ladewig
I'm pretty weak on orthodox Cthulhuism, but doesn't everybody get eaten; believers and non-belivers?

Esentially there are two sects of Cthulhuism, those who want to be eaten first because they don't want to be around when Cthulhu rises from the sea and eats the world, and those who want to be eaten last so they can spend that time pointing out where juicy pockets of unbelievers are hiding. There's really no conflict since we all sit around in the same underwater city chanting the same eldrich blasphemies, and either way, everybody gets their chance to be eaten so it's all good.

[Cthulhu]

Originally posted by Nyarlathotep
Nobody is eating anybody without my say so.
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Say so granted. Commence with the eating.


Commences to the eating.

[Cthulhu]

Originally posted by TragicMonkey
Um, you need to be more careful with your spelling. I read the word "tenticles" completely wrong, and got a visual image I will not soon forget.

It's "tentacles".

Shhhhh....I spell how I want to :p

[c4ts]

Originally posted by TragicMonkey
Um, you need to be more careful with your spelling. I read the word "tenticles" completely wrong, and got a visual image I will not soon forget.

It's "tentacles".

Wow, I've never had that amount of control over my... tenticles! I mean, they stir sometimes but only when I have to go to the bathroom and not enough to type with.

[Hastur]

Originally posted by Cthulhu
Commences to the eating.

Brother, if I may, could I have a portion of humanity that I may create my royal guard and get some new singers for my castle in Carcosa? Listening to Cassilda and Camilla is getting a bit . . . boring.

[LostAngeles]

Originally posted by Hastur
Brother, if I may, could I have a portion of humanity that I may create my royal guard and get some new singers for my castle in Carcosa? Listening to Cassilda and Camilla is getting a bit . . . boring.

Carcosa? Shouldn't you be getting ready for your next term, Mr. Speaker?

[Cthulhu]

Originally posted by Hastur
Brother, if I may, could I have a portion of humanity that I may create my royal guard and get some new singers for my castle in Carcosa? Listening to Cassilda and Camilla is getting a bit . . . boring.

Yes, go for it :D

[Operaider]

Originally posted by 1inChrist
That's some scary stuff. It's like a glimpse into the mind of Satan and how he works through the mystical.
or it's a glimpse into the mind of H.P. Lovecraft and how he works to pay the bills

[c4ts]

Originally posted by 1inChrist
That's some scary stuff. It's like a glimpse into the mind of Satan and how he works through the mystical.

It's called 1920's horror pulp fiction and me making fun of those sites you post by taking it seriously.

[Operaider]

Originally posted by c4ts
It's called 1920's horror pulp fiction and me making fun of those sites you post by taking it seriously. Horror pulp fiction
the bible

no big difference there

One inspired Stephen King
One inspired Jim Jones

[c4ts]

Except that Lovecraft's vocabulary was much bigger than the KJV.

[c4ts]

Anyway, I wouldn't reccomend anything by H.P. Lovecraft to people who already have problems with nightmares. But if you're looking for a good scare, or are just fascinated with surreal creepy stuff that involves a whole lot of five dollar words and sometimes inadvertent racism, this is right up your alley.

[Operaider]

Originally posted by c4ts
Anyway, I wouldn't reccomend anything by H.P. Lovecraft to people who already have problems with nightmares. But if you're looking for a good scare, or are just fascinated with surreal creepy stuff that involves a whole lot of five dollar words and sometimes inadvertent racism, this is right up your alley. emphasis mine

This is odd because I was thinking about how his novels have that in common with the bible as well.
I almost wrote the exact same thing.

we must have some sorta psychic connection :D

[Hastur]

Originally posted by LostAngeles
Carcosa? Shouldn't you be getting ready for your next term, Mr. Speaker?

Ithink you mean Hastert. Don't worry, happens all the time.

[Hastur]

Originally posted by Cthulhu
Yes, go for it :D

Thank you, dear brother.

::Several pompous humans are made to vanish from the earth and arrive in Carcosa. The men have their faces turned into masks by the waters of Hali. Their faces frozen in inhuman benevolent indifference, their minds shattered, they tirelessly guard the great palace and serve His Most Divine Majesty's whims. The women are made part of the walls, to sing forever the praises of the King in Yellow.::

[TragicMonkey]

Originally posted by c4ts
Anyway, I wouldn't reccomend anything by H.P. Lovecraft to people who already have problems with nightmares. But if you're looking for a good scare, or are just fascinated with surreal creepy stuff that involves a whole lot of five dollar words and sometimes inadvertent racism, this is right up your alley.

Just as Lovecraft was inspired by Lord Dunsany, so was M.R. James inspired by Lovecraft. All three are excellent.

(So is John Bellairs, the children's author who borrowed from James. Anyone else read his books as a kid? The Figure in the Shadows is still one of my favorite books.)

[LostAngeles]

Originally posted by Hastur
Ithink you mean Hastert. Don't worry, happens all the time.

Look, you may have changed a vowel and thrown a "t" onto the end, but we all know it's still you. ;)