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PygmyPlaidGiraffe
28th March 2003, 04:00 PM
From watching his address to the Iraqi people and combatants I have observed that Saddam has successfully attained PODIUM CAPABILITY.


Bush's administration has maintained for a while that Saddam's Regime was approaching PODIUM CAPABILITY. The administration now has definitive proof that within the last week or so the near impossible task has been completed by Iraqi scientists.

Countries such as France and Russia doubted that a single Podium would ever be found in Iraq.
Russian statesmen contend that the so-called "podium" that Saddam stood behind was a nothing but an elaborate doctoring of footage by the Americans.


Podiums, as we all know, are chic and essential for spokespersons, CEOs, leaders of democratic nations, and the floors of stock exchanges. They are also essential for the sole purpose of CNNs cameras to have something to focus on while waiting for a spokesperson to approach one to give a much anticipated press release.

North American viewers are quite familiar with the standard PODIUM. CNN viewers have been known to comment in a recent poll: "The White House podium is real nice, I can sit in front of the TV and be placated by its simple yet elegant, functional form for hours."

In a bold move Saddam, without first thoroughly and rigourously testing it, delivered the speach from a PODIUM, shocking the world.

A thorough investigation needs to be done to determine
whom or what siditious group gave the Regime the plans (the US had long suspected the Iraqis lacked the technology and scientific know how to develop a podium on there own) to develop it's own PODIUM.


An effort needs to be made to destroy Iraqs ability to create more podiums.

Saddam is suspected of using the Oil for Food program to fund the development of the PODIUM. A United Nations spokesperson, despite not standing behind a podium to give her statement added weight, stated "The Iraqi people need nourishment and water, not PODIUMs."

This is PPG reporting

From the Veldt.

PygmyPlaidGiraffe
28th March 2003, 04:01 PM
The Whitehouse warns that the Easter Bunny may be hiding something.


In the coming weeks the Easter Bunny will be scurrying to hide objects, in a very suspicious, nocturnal manner. It is suspected that one morning in mid April millions of people will wake up to find these items in their homes.

The white house advises the following precautions:

Lock all windows, and outside doors. If you have a chimney, secure it.

If you find unusual colourful items placed in your home, at eye-level height of a toddler, do not touch them. Contact your local law enforrcement agency or Homeland Security Office immediately.

The intentions of this rogue Rabbit are unknown. Do not approach him. He is white and looks playful but he may not be as harmless as he appears.

Roadtoad
28th March 2003, 04:03 PM
Originally posted by PygmyPlaidGiraffe
The Whitehouse warns that the Easter Bunny may be hiding something.

I heard he was hanging out with the Tooth Fairy...

PygmyPlaidGiraffe
1st April 2003, 05:02 AM
Saddam may now have mouse-pointing capability from his podium! He will be able to do AV presentations if something is not done soon to destroy these capabilities!

Reginald
1st April 2003, 05:38 AM
Yes and coupled with an ever growing arsenal of mics, it could be nasty.

I know this is a serious board with no room for wild speculation and rumour, but I've heard (dont quote me) that a laser pointer may be involved somewhere.

richardm
1st April 2003, 05:40 AM
Yeah, but who sold him the laser pointers in the first place? :mad:

Reginald
1st April 2003, 05:46 AM
Originally posted by richardm
Yeah, but who sold him the laser pointers in the first place? :mad:

That always comes up!! He hasn't used them yet, in fact it's just heresay.

PygmyPlaidGiraffe
1st April 2003, 07:54 AM
The Easter Bunny hides things.
Saddam Hussein Hides things.
Saddam Hussein is the Easter Bunny.
It has never been documented that the Easter Bunny and Saddam Hussein have been observed in the same place together.

If Saddam Husein is killed before Easter, we will not find Easter treats hidden in our homes.

PygmyPlaidGiraffe
15th December 2003, 02:17 PM
Originally posted by PygmyPlaidGiraffe
The Easter Bunny hides things.
Saddam Hussein Hides things.
Saddam Hussein is the Easter Bunny.
It has never been documented that the Easter Bunny and Saddam Hussein have been observed in the same place together.

If Saddam Husein is killed before Easter, we will not find Easter treats hidden in our homes.


More proof that Saddam is the easter bunny:

the easter Bunny lives in a hole in the ground

Saddam lives in a hole in the ground.

Also: the easter treats arrived, and Saddam was alive!

The parallels are extraordinary. Its an extraordinary claim, but look at the extraordinary proof!

I predict there will be no easter treats in Easter 2004, as Saddam will be incarcerated.

If there are easter treats, then Saddam was either released on a day pass. or

Saddam will break-out, and deliver the easter treats then break back in before anyone notices he was missing (Charles Manson was procured as his body double to fool the guards just in case anyone looked into his holding cell). Note: this is assuming that Saddam is not allowed to have or have a beard trim.