Canada is invading Minnesota!

[Denise]

If you are reading this, please send help. Communications have been knocked out in Duluth. Apparently too many of our forces are concentrating on Iraq leaving border states defenseless. It has been reported a minute or so ago that two children in Duluth have been beaten to death with hockey sticks by the Canadian invaders. Please send help as soon as possible.

[UnrepentantSinner]

Denise it's worse than we'd feared.

Apparently the CBC has hijacked the airwaves and is playing nothing but reruns of Degrassi Juniour High and documentaries by Dr. David Suzuki.

[Denise]

Where is Jedi Knight when we need him? Damn! Help us!

[Lisa]

Sorry, in self-defence South Dakota has just closed I-90.

[clk]

Turn on CNN!! Bush just ordered all of the troops out of Iraq...they're heading for Canada now, specifically Montreal, since they speak French there!

[Denise]

Lisa! We need you! Can you handle all the Minnesota refugees? They need food and beer!

Please America help us! The Canadian forces have now taken over the entire city of Duluth. They control the port on Lake Superior! We cannot get any food in through the port as they are using it to import really bad Canadian beer. Did you hear that Lisa? Help us!

I had to turn the TV off. They have been blasting Oh Canada over and over! Help us!

[Brown]

The first wave, it was...

(sob)

Oh, God, it was horrible.

It was geese. A flock of geese. Canadian geese. Loud, obnoxious geese that kept us from sleeping and that crapped all over our cars. Oh, the shock. Oh, the awe.

For the love of all that is holy, why does the Geneva Convention not condemn such air strikes?

And then came the leaflets. Oh Christ, the leaflets. They were half written in a foreign language (perhaps French) and they urged us to "Take off, eh?"

[WildCat]

Peter Arnett has just been hired by the CBC.
Geraldo Rivera (traveling w/ the Canadian Army) has just reported that the Minnesota invasion is a ruse - the real goal is Detroit, they are after the Stanley Cup.

[Denise]

Originally posted by WildCat
Peter Arnett has just been hired by the CBC.
Geraldo Rivera (traveling w/ the Canadian Army) has just reported that the Minnesota invasion is a ruse - the real goal is Detroit, they are after the Stanley Cup.

That is a lie. There is a Canadian Marine in my kitchen right now! He is saying "Eh, is there anything to eat here?" I am so scared! Help me! My daughter is learning the words to Oh Canada as I type. Help me, help Lorelei! Help us!

[Walter Wayne]

Those two children may have been killed with American hockeys sticks, which are inferior to the Canadian precision hockey sticks. There is currently an investigation to determine who was responsible for the childrens deaths.

We do not seek to harm you, only to remove Pawlenty from power. Once he is removed we will leave. Rise up against him and this will all be over with quickly. But rest assured, we will be there as long as it takes.

It has also been noted that helmets have been delivered from South Dakota. It is in the best of interest of that government to close its borders to shipments. Be aware that there are consequenses to what you are doing.

Also, in as liberators we will be bringing food and beer to Minnesotans as soon as we are able to secure cities, and relief operations can handout poutine and microbrew in safety.

Jean

[Lisa]

Good news! Just off the phone. The Happy Rimrock Tavern and the Moonshine Gulch Saloon are both donating relief supplies.

[Denise]

Walter Wayne, how does one surrender? I don't want to be shot, but damn, I need beer. I love Canadians! All of them!

[Denise]

Originally posted by Lisa
Good news! Just off the phone. The Happy Rimrock Tavern and the Moonshine Gulch Saloon are both donating relief supplies.

Thank God someone is handling the refugee crisis. Tell me, do they have lutefisk for us?

[Walter Wayne]

Originally posted by Denise
They control the port on Lake Superior! We cannot get any food in through the port as they are using it to import really bad Canadian beer. I swear, really bad Canadian beer is the closest we could find to American beer. I will have the Ministry of Defense look into creating a culturally sensitive relief effort. We may have to cycle the beer through a Canadian Navy Officer in order to make it taste like the beer you are used to.

Jean

[Lisa]

Originally posted by Denise


Thank God someone is handling the refugee crisis. Tell me, do they have lutefisk for us?
Glad you brought that up. There is a small problem with the refugees. The general feeling is that we already have too many people around here who say "you betcha" way too much. We may be able to locate you somewhere around the state captiol Pierre, and soon as someone figures out it's location.
And no one around here even knows what lutefisk is. You'll have to bring your own.

[WildCat]

Originally posted by Denise


Thank God someone is handling the refugee crisis. Tell me, do they have lutefisk for us?
No, but a whole kiddy pool filled w/ glug is on the way..

[Bjorn]

Originally posted by Denise


Thank God someone is handling the refugee crisis. Tell me, do they have lutefisk for us? You're mixing up the countries - Norway is not invading! Yet!

But we will send some food rations, including rakfisk which smells even worse ... :(

[Brown]

Originally posted by Denise
Thank God someone is handling the refugee crisis. Tell me, do they have lutefisk for us? And melted butter?

Screw this refugee nonsense if they don't have melted butter.

Oh, and the little bone trays, too.

[Denise]

Originally posted by Bjorn
You're mixing up the countries - Norway is not invading! Yet!

But we will send some food rations, including rakfisk which smells even worse ... :(

As most of us are of Scandanavian descent we have been forced to eat lutefisk and aquire a taste for it. We demand lutefisk!

[Bjorn]

Originally posted by Denise


As most of us are of Scandanavian descent we have been forced to eat lutefisk and aquire a taste for it. We demand lutefisk! Sorry, the best I can do is Akevitt, and you have to imagine the rest ..... :p

[Brown]

Originally posted by Bjorn
You're mixing up the countries - Norway is not invading! Yet! Actually, the guys from Norway were the first invaders.

The Vikings, taking a break from "foot-ball" as they called it, decided to invade a land as much like Norway as possible. Norway, of course, is a hilly country with beautiful fjords leading to the sea. And so the Vikings, being not too smart in the first place and having played too much "foot-ball" without helmets, settled in Minnesota, which is basically as flat as a piece of lefse and has no access to the sea at all.

"You betcha!" they yelled, as the raped and pillaged and colonized the state. "Yah, sure!" Even today, people here in Minnesota say "Yah, sure, you betcha!" and the Vikings still are taking a break from "foot-ball."

[Bjorn]

Originally posted by Brown
Actually, the guys from Norway were the first invaders.

The Vikings, taking a break from "foot-ball" as they called it, decided to invade a land as much like Norway as possible. Norway, of course, is a hilly country with beautiful fjords leading to the sea. And so the Vikings, being not too smart in the first place and having played too much "foot-ball" without helmets, settled in Minnesota, which is basically as flat as a piece of lefse and has no access to the sea at all.

"You betcha!" they yelled, as the raped and pillaged and colonized the state. "Yah, sure!" Even today, people here in Minnesota say "Yah, sure, you betcha!" and the Vikings still are taking a break from "foot-ball." And according to a famous historian, they couldn't speak English too well. So when the nuns in Lindisfarne asked them 'how do you do', they showed them how they did it. :p

[Walter Wayne]

Originally posted by Denise
Walter Wayne, how does one surrender? I don't want to be shot, but damn, I need beer. I love Canadians! All of them! Just use "please" and "thank you" a lot. It should be easy to find our forces. They're the ones saying sorry after each casualty they inflict on the thugs defending you city.

Walt

[Brown]

Hey, you know what two words don't go together?

"Canadian cuisine."

Oh, the horror!

[UnrepentantSinner]

WASHINGTON (UPI) -The Pentagon annunced today that no US troops would be sent to Minnesota to suppress the fighting. Secretary of Defense Hamilton was quoted as saying, "This war appears to be a matter between France and Norway."

[Lisa]

Originally posted by Brown
Hey, you know what two words don't go together?

"Canadian cuisine."

Oh, the horror!
So now we've skipped straight to war crimes? Doesn't anyone pay attention to the Geneva convention anymore?

[Roadtoad]

Canada invading Minnesota?!?!?!?!

How could they tell?

[Doubt]

I will immediately counter attack by getting together with my friends and crossing the boarder into Windsor. Once there we will fan out and take control of such strategic points as the casino and strip joints. I am sure that we can hold out for months until Minnesota is free, or we run out of money…..Or they run out of beer.

[Lisa]

South Dakota has sealed it's border with Minnesota. There was no real reason to do this, we just needed to give the South Dakota National Guard something to do.

[Denise]

OMG. Little Falls has fallen. This is no joke, help us now!

[Doubt]

Originally posted by Denise
OMG. Little Falls has fallen. This is no joke, help us now!

We are on the way! I just need to work out the exchange rate so I can figure out how many lap dances I can afford.

[Denise]

Shoot! I just saw Geraldo on the road. This is getting serious folks. Thanks to God that I am posting from the basement. I hope the Canadian Marines don't come in my house.

[Walter Wayne]

Originally posted by Brown
Hey, you know what two words don't go together?

"Canadian cuisine."

Oh, the horror! You will learn to love poutine and beaver tails in time.

[Lisa]

Originally posted by Denise
Shoot! I just saw Geraldo on the road. This is getting serious folks. Thanks to God that I am posting from the basement. I hope the Canadian Marines don't come in my house.
Put a sign in your window "No beer". They'll move on. And for god's sake don't wear plaid.

[Frank Newgent]

Iraqi what has the kid with Bemidji gal call 'em?

Yasir You Betcha'

[Brown]

Cripes, first they send us their crappy weather, then they come in and invade our state. And don't get me started about William Shatner.

Fortunately, the "no beer" sign is repelling the invaders. They go doddering off, asking passers by where they can get another two-four, whatever that means.

We have recruited a whole bunch of "martyrs"" to attack the Zionist Canadians. They of course don't know that they are "martyrs," but we plan to tell them next week, by mail, after they have attacked the Canadians.

In addition, I have decided to grow my hair long, paint my face blue, ride around on a horse and pontificate about my "freedom." For no damn reason.

[Brown]

The smell of the lutefisk is driving them off!

[Bearguin]

Crap. We've stretched our supply lines past how far we can go in a pickup without having to gas up.

What the crap are we doing in Minnesota anyway???

I wanted somewhere warm.

Anyway, we got a shipment of pickeral and some back bacon. No stinkin lutefish is gonna stop us now.

[arcticpenguin]

Originally posted by Brown
The first wave, it was...

(sob)

Oh, God, it was horrible.

It was geese. A flock of geese. Canadian geese. Loud, obnoxious geese that kept us from sleeping and that crapped all over our cars. Oh, the shock. Oh, the awe.

For the love of all that is holy, why does the Geneva Convention not condemn such air strikes?

And then came the leaflets. Oh Christ, the leaflets. They were half written in a foreign language (perhaps French) and they urged us to "Take off, eh?"
Ha! This report is clearly fraudulent. If you check your Audobon guide, you'll find that it's Canada geese , not Canadian geese.

This is a sure bar bet, by the way.

[Javalar]

(And now please stand by for a message for the government of the province of Québec)

Ha ha ha!

Maintenant rien ne peut nous arrêter! Si jamais vous résistez, on va toute vous bombarder avec notre poutine qui nous reste en stock (personne icitte quyé assez fou pour manger ça). Pis si jamais ça fonctionne pas, on va envoyer la poutine italienne tab¢¤@nak! Cr¤ss que ça sa a du pétant!

[Denise]

This is getting bad folks, I am peeking out my curtain and I just took this picture of a member of a Canadian rape squad. That's why they call them mounties my grandma told me.

http://www.michaelcarloneil.com/Jpegs/mflag.jpg

Ps. I'd like to thank the great people of South Dakota for the beer shipment, and the people of the great state of Wisconsin for the cheese. Iowa where are you?

[Frank Newgent]

Originally posted by Javalar


Maintenant rien ne peut nous arrêter! Si jamais vous résistez, on va toute vous bombarder avec notre poutine qui nous reste en stock (personne icitte quyé assez fou pour manger ça). Pis si jamais ça fonctionne pas, on va envoyer la poutine italienne tab¢¤@nak! Cr¤ss que ça sa a du pétant!

Would the poutine be home made or store bought? This might influence how I feel about it.

[Javalar]

Originally posted by Frank Newgent
Would the poutine be home made or store bought? This might influence how I feel about it. Les poutines son fait dans nos installations spéciales, nom de code: "La belle province". On emploie seulement les meilleurs ingédients: des bonnes frites graisseuses frites dans de l'huile pas changée depuis 3 jours, des crottes de fromage de la plus haute qualité (s'qui ne veut pas dire grand chose) pis d'la sauce de chez St-Hubert. Si on veut que ça soit de la poutine italienne, on met d'la bonne sauce michigan à la place de la sauce de chez St-Hubert.

Mais on a pas rien que d'la poutine! Comme arme chimique on peut nourrir les soldats avec des bonnes binnes. Si vous êtes capabes de résister à leurs pets, ben là y va falloir trouver autre chose.

P.S. Parle dont en frança si tu veut'faire comprendre cr¤¢s d'amaricain! Trop boqué pour aprendre la langue des autres. Nous autre on va s'emparer de Détroit pis on voir après si vous ôsez utiliser l'angla, tarb¢¤nak!

[Supercharts]

The POTUS ordered the use of an advanced MOAB to fight the Canadian invasion of Minnesota.

[Javalar]

Originally posted by Supercharts
The POTUS ordered the use of an advanced MOAB to fight the Canadian invasion of Minnesota. T¤b¢rn¦k! Quelqu'un, pour l'amour de dieu, crever mes yeux!

[jj]

For some reason last night as we went to buy water, canned vegetables and fruits, and canned/dried/preserved meats in case it happened to us out here in the west, I noticed that the CostCo was full of large, stubble-cheeked men who went "eh?". They were rolling carts full of Miller's Lite and Bu-Dwei-Shr (that's Budweiser for those of you who don't know what Bu Dwei Shr means in Mandarin) out the door, and loading them into large trucks with Ontario license plates.

Are we next?:eek:

[Advocate]

Latest update on Operation It's All Really Part of Canada Anyway:

In response to the invasion of Minnesota by Canadian Imperialists, the nations of Leichtenstein, San Marino, Monaco, and Andorra have invaded France. The French have, of course, surrendered. The Canadian Ambassador remarked "What does all this business have to do with Canada anyway?" The UN is considering the possibility of passing a resolution threatening unspecified consequences at some undefined later date for all involved in the dispute. France has threatened to veto the resolution, as has Canada before they realized they can't do that.

[Michael Redman]

I knew something was up when the wife and I wandered into the American Legion bar in Grand Marais Saturday night (true story) and there were only 2 very nervious looking patrons and a young woman behind the bar that said "eh" a lot. One of the drinkers had a thick French accent. I asked about the cross border relations being effected by the war, and the bartender said that Canadians love Minnesota.

Covet, I suppose she meant. I bet the old Legionaires of the post were locked in the back room as I sat and drank their beer. Or, more likely, placed in the back room and told stearnly but politely not to open the door, Canadian forces not thinking to look for a lock.

The English speaking drinker told me that he wished Jesse were still governor. Me too, now. Kick those Canadians back across the border. Not like this Republican Lite gov who weasles the definition of "tax" better than Clinton ever imagined twisting the meaning of "is". Oh, well, I guess we had this coming, eh?

[Alaric]

Christ...you people nearly got me fired with my loud demonic laughter.
Wouldnt it be funny to have a website with updates...a made up map showing various cities under control. Have fake interviews and everything? Attacks on US beer outlets...the american resistance(burning Anne Murray and Celine Dion in effigy)

I remember Rick Mercer once did a show where<with US permission> he set up anew US-Canada border in California complete with mounties and everything. The americans simply didnt care and went on with their lives beleiving it was for real.

[Denise]

I can't believe Iowa is not giving us any support. Heck, I know the Mississippi River runs south because Iowa sucks, but still.

Jesse has been helping morale through his broadcasts on the radio free Minnesota station. Pawlenty has been covorting with the enemy and he will be dealt with harshly if we repel this Canadian invasion. There's talk of all sorts of tortures for Pawlenty including making him eat some really hot peppers. Damn, I'm glad I'm not him.

There are mounties everywhere and their horses are pooping all over. It is becoming an environmental crisis, poisoning our ground water. We don't need water though just beer. If you are reading this, please send more. Thanks to Lisa for the shipment but I wonder where the Heck is North Dakota? There are about ten people there, don't they care about Minnesota?

I'm just thankful that the Canadians have not cut off our internet access yet. Please pray for us.

[Denise]

Originally posted by Alaric
Christ...you people nearly got me fired with my loud demonic laughter.
Wouldnt it be funny to have a website with updates...a made up map showing various cities under control. Have fake interviews and everything? Attacks on US beer outlets...the american resistance(burning Anne Murray and Celine Dion in effigy)

I remember Rick Mercer once did a show where<with US permission> he set up anew US-Canada border in California complete with mounties and everything. The americans simply didnt care and went on with their lives beleiving it was for real.

This is no joke. Help me.:D

[arcticpenguin]

Originally posted by Denise

This is no joke. Help me.:D
I have seen your "I love you JK" thread and have reached the conclusion that you are beyond help.


P.S. You can keep my toothbrush, I'll buy a new one.

[Denise]

Originally posted by arcticpenguin

I have seen your "I love you JK" thread and have reached the conclusion that you are beyond help.


P.S. You can keep my toothbrush, I'll buy a new one.

Fine! The old love her and leave her. I thought better of you.

[Alaric]

At least he let you keep the toothrbrush. I wouldnt have out of principal

[Denise]

Originally posted by Alaric
At least he let you keep the toothrbrush. I wouldnt have out of principal

I think you mean principle. I wouldn't have the principal either. Ewww!

[Brown]

Originally posted by Denise
There are mounties everywhere and their horses are pooping all over. Watch out for the ones that run around, grinning like idiots, screaming "I'll save you, Nell!!"

[Brown]

Originally posted by Denise
I can't believe Iowa is not giving us any support.The governor of Iowa has just gone on the air and said that he will provide support, if Minnesota agrees to return to the original borders of the "Iowa Territory."

(The Iowa Territory basically encompassed all of Iowa and Minnesota. Look it up if you don't believe me.)

Meanwhile, some folks in Minnesota have taken to chanting: "54-40 or fight! 54-40 or fight! Aw screw it, fight anyway!"

[Lisa]

More help on the way.
But don't expect anything from North Dakota. All the of them showed up for the Sturgis rally last year, and we can't get rid of them. Not really worth the trouble of explusion, and the local Wal-Mart needed more employees.
What I need to you to is go to the first rest stop on I-90. Behind the main building, you'll find a cooler and a backpack. I've left you a couple cases of cold beer, some Doritos (ranch flavor), a carton of Marlboros, and a sewing kit.
Don't worry about me getting past the South Dakota National Guard. Found out the folks holding the border are only E1-2's. I'll wear one of my old uniforms and bluff my way through.

[Denise]

But, Lisa, how am I going to be able to get past the truck drivers? I've see many of them with Canadian plates. I think they are part of the Canadian army and are spies for them. My daughter was forced to pledge allegiance to some guy called Jean Paul Cretian today. I'm gonna try to make it to the rest stop. Will there be Wall Drug signs?

[Lisa]

More on the refugee situation. I just got off the phone with the SD Governor.
"Gov Rounds? Me again. I think we're going to be flooded with refugees as a result of the Canada/Minnesota conflict. Any word on setting up refugee camps?"
"Well Lisa, do you still think Pierre would be the best location?"
"Yes sir, I do"
"Tell me Lisa, has anyone actually found Pierre yet? I mean, when Janklow was governor, he was always calling me. Governor's mansion this, governor's mansion that. I'll be he spent his whole tenure hanging out at the Old No. 10 Saloon in Deadwood."
"Sir, if you're not in Pierre, where are you? How are you governing the state? What do you do all day?"
"I'm still in Sioux Falls. Mainly I play Everquest and write hate mail to that jerk Daschle. That guy seriously pisses me off"
"Governor, can't you ask the Lt. Governor where the state capitol is?"
"We have a Lt. Governor?"
"Sir, I'll get back to you"
"Lisa, did you like the tee shirt I wore in my campaign posters?"
"Black's your color sir"

So you see Denise, we here in South Dakota are really rolling up our sleeve to provide the best relief possible for the people of Minnesota. If there's anything else I can do, please don't hesitate to ask.

[Pyrrho]

Fear not! The USS Cod (http://www.usscod.org/) has left port in Cleveland and is on its way thru the Great Lakes to help repel the invasion from Soviet Canuckistan!

http://www.usscod.org/graphics/sub1.jpg

Even has a torpedo...

http://www.usscod.org/torpload.html

[Frank Newgent]

Originally posted by Javalar
Les poutines son fait dans nos installations spéciales, nom de code: "La belle province". On emploie seulement les meilleurs ingédients: des bonnes frites graisseuses frites dans de l'huile pas changée depuis 3 jours, des crottes de fromage de la plus haute qualité (s'qui ne veut pas dire grand chose) pis d'la sauce de chez St-Hubert. Si on veut que ça soit de la poutine italienne, on met d'la bonne sauce michigan à la place de la sauce de chez St-Hubert.

Mais on a pas rien que d'la poutine! Comme arme chimique on peut nourrir les soldats avec des bonnes binnes. Si vous êtes capabes de résister à leurs pets, ben là y va falloir trouver autre chose.

P.S. Parle dont en frança si tu veut'faire comprendre cr¤¢s d'amaricain! Trop boqué pour aprendre la langue des autres. Nous autre on va s'emparer de Détroit pis on voir après si vous ôsez utiliser l'angla, tarb¢¤nak!

Mon chien adorable de pug Smegma a été mangé par un cavalier de l'état une fois. L'Italien regardé me. Devrait un le bonne sauce michigan a été suffisant pour éviter la prise?

[Walter Wayne]

Originally posted by Lisa
More help on the way.
But don't expect anything from North Dakota. All the of them showed up for the Sturgis rally last year, and we can't get rid of them. Not really worth the trouble of explusion, and the local Wal-Mart needed more employees.
What I need to you to is go to the first rest stop on I-90. Behind the main building, you'll find a cooler and a backpack. I've left you a couple cases of cold beer, some Doritos (ranch flavor), a carton of Marlboros, and a sewing kit.
Don't worry about me getting past the South Dakota National Guard. Found out the folks holding the border are only E1-2's. I'll wear one of my old uniforms and bluff my way through. Communication intercepted.

Beer, Doritos and Marlboros confiscated.

You can have the sewing kit.

Walt

[Javalar]

Originally posted by Frank Newgent
Mon chien adorable de pug Smegma a été mangé par un cavalier de l'état une fois. L'Italien regardé me. Devrait un le bonne sauce michigan a été suffisant pour éviter la prise? Okay, now that the whole april fool's day thing is over. Can you tell me what the heck you're saying?

Did you just write random french words? :p

[Denise]

I wish to inform you all that Canada has withdrawn their forces. They have decided that they really don't want to occupy Minnesota after all, but they are thinking about going after New York. Jean Paul Cretian has apologized for what he called "the drunken action of a few." He also said, " I hope relations between our two countries can improve after this little mistake."

I just got done taking down the Canadian flags that a couple drunk mounties had put all over my lawn. Now, I have to go pick up all the beer bottles. My garbage bill is gonna be high this week. Thanks to everyone for their support. Especially Lisa!

[Frank Newgent]

Originally posted by Javalar
Okay, now that the whole april fool's day thing is over. Can you tell me what the heck you're saying?

Did you just write random french words? :p


M'excuse, le monsieur?

I tried to follow your lead. I said that a state trooper had eaten my pug Smegma when the bonne sauce michigan - whatever the hell that is - ought to have been sufficient to keep me from being arrested.

You Quebecois are odd...

[Javalar]

Originally posted by Frank Newgent
M'excuse, le monsieur?

I tried to follow your lead. I said that a state trooper had eaten my pug Smegma when the bonne sauce michigan - whatever the hell that is - ought to have been sufficient to keep me from being arrested.

You Quebecois are odd... Then what you probably meant was:

Mon adorable chien de race pug à été mangé par un policier de l'état. La bonne sauce michigan n'aurait-elle pas été suffisante pour éviter de me faire arrêter?

or in good old Québécois:

C@l!ss£! La police a mangé mon chien pug. La sauce michigan aurais tu dû m'permettre de pas m'faire arrêter?

[Frank Newgent]

Originally posted by Javalar


C@l!ss£! La police a mangé mon chien pug. La sauce michigan aurais tu dû m'permettre de pas m'faire arrêter?

Merci, le monsieur. La prochaine fois j'évitera l'usage du Freetranslation.Com et me garde l'écriture d'une langue que je comprends tel que l'Espagnol.

[John Bryce]

Canadian Special Forces.

http://home.golden.net/~tdailey/Images/Special_Forces.jpg

[Segnosaur]

Originally posted by jj
For some reason last night as we went to buy water, canned vegetables and fruits, and canned/dried/preserved meats in case it happened to us out here in the west, I noticed that the CostCo was full of large, stubble-cheeked men who went "eh?". They were rolling carts full of Miller's Lite and Bu-Dwei-Shr out the door, and loading them into large trucks with Ontario license plates.


Isn't American beer just like water?

[Segnosaur]

Originally posted by Denise
I wish to inform you all that Canada has withdrawn their forces. They have decided that they really don't want to occupy Minnesota after all, but they are thinking about going after New York. Jean Paul Cretian has apologized for what he called "the drunken action of a few." He also said, " I hope relations between our two countries can improve after this little mistake."


Actually, the real reason we Canadians stopped our invasion is that we couldn't agree on a good name for the war.

We were going to use "Mother of all Battles", but apparently that was already trademarked by someone in the middle east.

We tried to decide on a few others:
- God Mother of all Battles
- Great Aunt of all battles
- Second cousin twice removed of all battles
But none of them had the proper sound. So, we decided to go back home to our Canadian football league and Anne Murray albums.

[Lisa]

Actually, they tried to expand to South Dakota. Then they saw all the signs for Wall Drug and the Mitchell Corn Palace. It was at this point they fled.
Those billboards aren't for advertising, they're an offensive weapon.

[Roadtoad]

Originally posted by Segnosaur


Isn't American beer just like water?

No, water tastes better.

[jj]

Originally posted by Roadtoad


No, water tastes better.

Well, the old riddle goes:

Why is american beer like making love in a canoe?