Frank Newgent
31st March 2003, 08:25 PM
WASHINGTON, DC (REUTERS) - At a Pentagon briefing on the progress of Operation Iraqi Freedom, the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs stunned reporters when she took famed debunker James Randi's "$1,000,000 Paranormal Challenge". Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld's spokeswoman Victoria Clarke followed the claim "the inevitable outcome of victory is more than a feeling" not with an appropriate song lyric, such as "'till I see Marianne walk away" and a stirring guitar solo, but instead the simple declaration "It is reality" at the Monday afternoon press conference.
According to their website the James Randi Educational Foundation is committed to providing reliable information about paranormal claims. It both supports and conducts original research into such claims. Additionally, it offers a one-million-dollar prize to anyone who can show, under proper observing conditions, evidence of any paranormal, supernatural, or occult power or event.
Such demonstration must take place under certain rules and limitations a spokesman for the JREF, Jeff the Monkey Boy, said in a telephone interview late last night. Foremost among them in this case is the important condition that expenses such as transportation, accommodation, materials, assistants, and/or all other costs for any persons or procedures incurred in pursuit of the reward, are the sole responsibility of the applicant. Neither the JREF nor James Randi will bear any of the costs of this invasion or war he said. In what some might consider a response, Defense Secretary Rumsfeld was quoted as saying: "The blue print for this operation was drawn up under technology that makes the night vision on your Peugeot 406 look like a kicked-out headlight. Coalition forces will soon be equipped with highly effective "Save-An-Iraqi" acoustic whistles which emit a sound frequency at speeds over 35 MPH, warning Iraqi freedom lovers and preventing them from moving into the path of our humvees and tanks." He then added: "These dead Iraqis would have loved democracy. Are you willing to be responsible for that?" He concluded by saying: "Give us the million now."
According to their website the James Randi Educational Foundation is committed to providing reliable information about paranormal claims. It both supports and conducts original research into such claims. Additionally, it offers a one-million-dollar prize to anyone who can show, under proper observing conditions, evidence of any paranormal, supernatural, or occult power or event.
Such demonstration must take place under certain rules and limitations a spokesman for the JREF, Jeff the Monkey Boy, said in a telephone interview late last night. Foremost among them in this case is the important condition that expenses such as transportation, accommodation, materials, assistants, and/or all other costs for any persons or procedures incurred in pursuit of the reward, are the sole responsibility of the applicant. Neither the JREF nor James Randi will bear any of the costs of this invasion or war he said. In what some might consider a response, Defense Secretary Rumsfeld was quoted as saying: "The blue print for this operation was drawn up under technology that makes the night vision on your Peugeot 406 look like a kicked-out headlight. Coalition forces will soon be equipped with highly effective "Save-An-Iraqi" acoustic whistles which emit a sound frequency at speeds over 35 MPH, warning Iraqi freedom lovers and preventing them from moving into the path of our humvees and tanks." He then added: "These dead Iraqis would have loved democracy. Are you willing to be responsible for that?" He concluded by saying: "Give us the million now."