PDA

View Full Version : I AM THE HERALD OF THE LORD! REPENT BEFORE THE JUDGEMENT COMES!!

c4ts
31st March 2003, 10:11 PM
The Lord hath spoken, and he sayeth unto me:
"C4ts! Thou art to be my herald! Make a bell two hundred cubits in diameter, four hundred cubits in heigh, in the shape of an ass, and thou shalt ring it, and it shall singeth my message to the world."
And I made the bell, and it was two hundred cubits in diameter, in the shape of an ass, and four hundred cubits in heigh. I rangeth the bell, and it was loud. For the bell hath spoken these words:
"Hear o people of the Lord, place o'er thine head a bucket to repeleth the Devil. Cast off thine clothes and be washed free of thine sins. Repent, repent, and castrate yourselves before the Lord! Let thine naked penitence run free through thine neighborhood. All who choseth not to do so shalt perish in flame for eternity!"
And the Lord God spake to me again:
"Thou hast bult a fine bell, two hundred cubits in diameter, four hundred cubits in heigh, in the shape of an ass, and thou shalt be rewarded. Thou art now King of the Lizard People! If Lucifer is nigh, thou cans't hit him with thine Holy Hand Grenade. All who oppose you will face the Judgement of the Lizard King!"
And I asketh the Lord:
"When is thine Rapture?"
And the Lord God replieth:
"The second day of April, in second millenium plus three years! Beware the beast, for his name is FRANKO!"
Crossbow
1st April 2003, 05:39 AM
Say c4ts, would you happen to be a fan of the View Askew movie called 'Dogma'?
BillyTK
1st April 2003, 05:40 AM
I thought Jim Morrison was the lizard king? Oh well...
Upchurch
1st April 2003, 06:08 AM
Originally posted by BillyTK
I thought Jim Morrison was the lizard king?The king is dead. Long live the king.
Kiri
1st April 2003, 11:23 AM
Where do I sign up to be an Apostle?
1st April 2003, 11:30 AM
Repent it up, repenty!
Consultant
1st April 2003, 11:52 AM
Originally posted by Kiri
Where do I sign up to be an Apostle?

From Jesus Christ Superstar, "The Last Supper":

"Always hoped that I'd be an apostle
Knew that I would make it if I tried
Then when we retire we can write the gospels
So they'll still talk about us when we've died"

This seems to have worked for them....your mileage may vary :D
c4ts
1st April 2003, 05:17 PM
Originally posted by Kiri
Where do I sign up to be an Apostle?

Thou can be an apostle, but there is naught a reason. The Rapture shall commence in but four hours!
Kiri
2nd April 2003, 10:26 AM
Originally posted by c4ts


Thou can be an apostle, but there is naught a reason. The Rapture shall commence in but four hours!

Damn. I'm always the last to jump on the bandwagon!
Tricky
2nd April 2003, 10:32 AM
Originally posted by c4ts
Thou can be an apostle, but there is naught a reason. The Rapture shall commence in but four hours!
Um.... Aren't these things supposed to happen on Thursdays during the webcast?
whitefork
2nd April 2003, 10:36 AM
I though it was le trente-huit cunegonde. Or was it the fifth of Thermador?
c4ts
2nd April 2003, 12:44 PM
Originally posted by Tricky

Um.... Aren't these things supposed to happen on Thursdays during the webcast?

The internet broadcast radio show is on Thursdays now?
shemp
2nd April 2003, 05:43 PM
I am not castrating myself for anybody, pal.