Divine spam

[pmurray]

You would think, wouldn't you, that God - or the cosmic harmony of the universe - would simply treat prayers drom that DVD prayer wheel as spam, and delete them from the inbox.

[jmercer]

Originally posted by pmurray
You would think, wouldn't you, that God - or the cosmic harmony of the universe - would simply treat prayers drom that DVD prayer wheel as spam, and delete them from the inbox.

Maybe they're music to His ears? ;)

[Bronze Dog]

Guess that's why he won't let me win the lottery.

--- A guy named Bob goes home after a hard day of work and prays to God, "God, will you let me win the lottery. My job's awfully hard, and I'd like to be able to take a vacation from it."

He didn't win the lottery. Years later, Bob's company is going out of business, "God, will you let me win the lottery? I need the money to save the company from financial ruin."

He didn't win the lottery. Later, after having lost his job, his family begins to starve, and they desperately need the money to live. "God will you please let me win the lottery to feed my starving family?"

Suddenly, an angelic chorus comes from nowhere, and a blinding light comes in the room and speaks in a deep voice, "Bob, meet me halfway: Buy a ticket."

[Lisa Simpson]

I would like to point out that Tibetan Buddhists who use a prayer wheel are not praying to God. A prayer wheel usually contains the mantra "Om mani padme hum" (or "Oh, Monty pay my mom," as my wiseass son likes to say). It is supposed to bring one closer to enlightenment. Seems like a cheat to me, spinning a wheel instead of actually saying the mantra, but I can't get behind Tibetan Buddhism anyway. Too darn woo. But I do just love the Dalai Lama. He's so cute.

[Soapy Sam]

Remember Arthur C.Clarke's short story "The nine million names of god"?
Two computer engineers install a machine in a Tibetan monastery, programmed to print out the nine million names of god, which the monks have been painstakingly writing out by hand for centuries.
The project, the monks believe, will result in the end of the world.

With the machine installed and running, the engineers start the slow journey down the mountain track, when, in the clear night sky above them, one by one, the stars start to go out...

[rwguinn]

Originally posted by BronzeDog
Guess that's why he won't let me win the lottery.

--- A guy named Bob goes home after a hard day of work and prays to God, "God, will you let me win the lottery. My job's awfully hard, and I'd like to be able to take a vacation from it."

He didn't win the lottery. Years later, Bob's company is going out of business, "God, will you let me win the lottery? I need the money to save the company from financial ruin."

He didn't win the lottery. Later, after having lost his job, his family begins to starve, and they desperately need the money to live. "God will you please let me win the lottery to feed my starving family?"

Suddenly, an angelic chorus comes from nowhere, and a blinding light comes in the room and speaks in a deep voice, "Bob, meet me halfway: Buy a ticket."

Actually, I prefer the one about the man on the flood plain.
It was raining hard. A military truck comes bythe an's house, and the driver says: "The dam is in danger of bursting. Get in and we'll take you to safety"
The man says "No, the good Lord wiill protect me"
The water rises, and he retreats to the 2nd floor. A man in a boat comes by "Get in-we'll get you to a safe place"
No, the Lord will protect me"
No he's on the roof. A helicopter hovers overhead
"Go away, the Lord will save me!"
Now, at the pearly gates:
"Lord, I believed, and you didn't save me. Why?"
"What did you want? I sent a truck, a boat and a helicopter! What else could I do?"

[BillyJoe]

Hmmm........I prefer BronzeDog's. :) Sorry.

[BillyJoe]

BTW, I don't pray to God or buy lottery tickets.
Both are useless activities.

[Beady]

Originally posted by BillyJoe
BTW, I don't pray to God or buy lottery tickets.
Both are useless activities.

I'M A COMPLETE IDIOT


Y'know, your statements might be a bit more convincing if you'd use your sig a little more selectively.

Just a thought.

[BillyJoe]

I am honouring a promise to keep that sig is there for
one week as a result of an incident on the puzzle forum.

BJ

[Beady]

Originally posted by BillyJoe
I am honouring a promise to keep that sig is there for
one week as a result of an incident on the puzzle forum.

Ah! In that case, by all means... :)

Still, it might be a good idea to not get into any heated discussions until you can change it.

[BillyJoe]

;)


In fact, I absented myself from the forum for 1 week
(which ends today) but I have promised to keep my
signature for 4 weeks! Goddamn!

bj