The Laughing Chancellor

[asthmatic camel]

http://www.ntlworld.com/partners/itn/britain/story460362.php

Thousands of first-time buyers are to be given financial assistance on to the housing ladder under plans outlined by Chancellor Gordon Brown.
Under a deal struck between mortgage lenders and the Government, couples would have to raise as little as half the cost of homes sold on the open market.

ROFLMFAO! What a pillock! Housing is too expensive because demand for it is far too high. "Ahah!" thinks Gordon, the Canny Iron Chancellor, "I know what to do, I'll cause more demand by increasing the number of potential purchasers."


I know a fat old Scotsman
He lives in Downing Street
A fat and jolly red-faced man
He really is a treat
He's too kind for a Scotsman
He's never known to frown
And everybody says he is
The happiest man in town

A ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Oo hoo hoo hoo ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Oo hoo hoo hoo ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Oo hoo hoo hoo ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

He laughs when raising duty
He laughs upon his seat
He laughs at everybody
Paying taxes on the street
He never can stop laughing
He says he's never tried
But once he did dislike a man
And taxed him 'till he died

A ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ooo... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ooo... hoo hoo ha ha ha ha ha ha
Oo hoo hoo hoo ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

His jolly face, it wrinkled
And then he shut his eyes
He opened his great mouth
It was a wondrous size
He said "I must excise you"
He didn't know what for
And then he started laughing
Until he cracked his jaw

A ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ooo... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ooo... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha oo hoo ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

So if you chance to meet him
When walking round the town
Just shake him by his fat old hand
And give him half a crown
His eyes will beam and sparkle
He'll gurgle with delight
And then you'll start him laughing
With all his blessed might

A ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ooo... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ooo... hoo hoo ha ha ha ha ha ha
Oo hoo hoo, oo hoo, ha ha ha ha ha ha

[Jon_in_london]

Originally posted by asthmatic camel
http://www.ntlworld.com/partners/itn/britain/story460362.php

ROFLMFAO! What a pillock! Housing is too expensive because demand for it is far too high. "Ahah!" thinks Gordon, the Canny Iron Chancellor, "I know what to do, I'll cause more demand by increasing the number of potential purchasers."

Indeed. Although there may be a legitimate case for providing help for "key workers" would it not just be better to pay them a decent wage in the first place?

What I just cant understand is why he thinks further inflating the lower end of an already hideously over-inflated market is going to help? The market NEEDS to stagnate to allow earnings to catch up with prices- otherwise theres going to be a very large pop indeed when the bubble bursts!

[Giz]

Originally posted by Jon_in_london

What I just cant understand is why he thinks further inflating the lower end of an already hideously over-inflated market is going to help? The market NEEDS to stagnate to allow earnings to catch up with prices- otherwise theres going to be a very large pop indeed when the bubble bursts!

But a burst bubble when Brown is chancellor would ruin his undeserved reputation as an economic genius. Better (for his career) to let things overheat a little longer while he moves into No. 10, then his successor can take the rap.

[asthmatic camel]

Originally posted by Giz
But a burst bubble when Brown is chancellor would ruin his undeserved reputation as an economic genius. Better (for his career) to let things overheat a little longer while he moves into No. 10, then his successor can take the rap.

Yep. He's laughing all the way to the Bank of England, which he's ensured he'll be able to blame when his economic "policies" founder. The man's a scoundrel.

[Jon_in_london]

At least most of the country seems to recognise a steaming turd when they see one:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/talking_point/4570619.stm

Unfortunately, didnt stop one in three voting for said turd.

[asthmatic camel]

Gordon Brown, economics genius. I'm so pleased that he's in charge of my pension fund and wishes to tell me that I'll probably have to work until I die.

Tosser.

[WildCat]

Originally posted by Jon_in_london
Indeed. Although there may be a legitimate case for providing help for "key workers" would it not just be better to pay them a decent wage in the first place?
Yes! Make the minimum wage 1 million pounds a year. Then everyone in Britain will be stinkin' rich. These problems are so simple to solve!

[asthmatic camel]

Brown has hog-tied himself. Much as he likes to decry the "boom and bust" cycle that Britain endured under the Tories, he now finds that particular beast with its teeth firmly embedded in his buttocks. He's also denuded himself of one weapon in the fiscal armoury; he can't control interest rates.

This being the case, what options does he have to lower or boost UK spending? Lower tax rates? Hah! Higher tax rates? Hah! not if he wants to remain popular.

The chart I posted above shows the reality of Brown's "steady and sustainable growth." It's an illusion upon which he bases unsustainable and unjustifiable tax increases.

It'll be a bitter pill to swallow, but I hope Blair remains in power long enough for Gordon Brown to suck all the lemons he deserves.

[Darat]

I've a better solution for the "housing crisis" (http://www.manchesteronline.co.uk/homesearch/latest/s/156/156236_salford_and_west_gorton_among_cheapest_plac es_to_buy.html) .

No new commercial buildings in the South East.
Build a new House of Commons in Grimsby.
Move all government departments away from the south east.

And I am only half-joking.

[asthmatic camel]

Originally posted by Darat
I've a better solution for the "housing crisis" (http://www.manchesteronline.co.uk/homesearch/latest/s/156/156236_salford_and_west_gorton_among_cheapest_plac es_to_buy.html) .

No new commercial buildings in the South East.
Build a new House of Commons in Grimsby.
Move all government departments away from the south east.

And I am only half-joking.

We could also turn the Wesh Assembly, The Scottish Parliament and The Northern Ireland Assembly into hospitals or affordable flats, rather than talking shops which acheive nothing, but put yet more money into often corrupt politicians' pockets.

What do these bodies achieve? Bugger all, apart from being training schools for yet more politicians who vote themselves a huge pay rise every year.

Think about it, Brits; how many sick children could be cured every year by using Cherie & Tony Blair's expenses? John Prescott's? Three homes, two Jags. The billions we send to Europe every year, the hundreds of thousands of illegal immigrants we support....

Any news on the French referendum yet?

;)

[NoZed Avenger]

Originally posted by asthmatic camel
Any news on the French referendum yet?


Do you think the vote will actually matter much?

[asthmatic camel]

Originally posted by NoZed Avenger
Do you think the vote will actually matter much?

Yes. Not very much, but enough to make a difference.