My Creationist Sci Fi premise

[c4ts]

Miracules and Miraculite®
- “Protons have positive charges. One law of electricity is: like charges repel each other. Since all the protons in the nucleus are positively charged, they should repel each other and scatter into space.� - Jack T. Chick
Basically, that's the premise.
- Therefore, atoms are held together by Jesus, in the form of particles called Miracules.
- Naturally, splitting atomic nuclei releases Miracules.
- Miracules are collected into special chambers, where they form Miraculite (originally called Mirac-U-Lite until Ron Popeil filed a lawsuit), a material discovered, invented, and copyrighted by the famous creation scientist Dr. John, PhD!
- Miraculite is initially inert. It must be crystallized and charged by True Christianâ„¢ prayer. (The existence of a substance that requires prayer to sustain it proves that the universe would literally fall apart without constant worship, something that every Creation Scientist already knows.)
- The science behind Miraculite crystallization is simple: the scientist prays to God, asking him for his support, and if God says “yes,� he zaps the material with divine power, instantly causing nude subatomic cherubim to stack it into a crystalline structure, so it can lock the power of prayer inside it. This allows Miraculite to power genuine magical miracles from woo land. It’s SCIENCE! All of it supported by a bunch of funny shaped glass containers filled with brightly colored boiling liquids monitored by guys with clipboards and 50’s haircuts.

Uses of Miraculite
- Starship fuel. A space ship powered by Miraculite reactions can overcome the decreasing speed of light (Yes, Einstein was wrong about the speed of light being constant, Kent Hovind says so). However, in order to sustain that kind of a miracle, the substance must be constantly receiving a stream of prayer in order to release that much energy, therefore Miraculite fuel only functions inside churches. All starships must double as churches, and the only people who can travel through space are missionaries. Since no aliens can possibly exist, the goal of space travel and colonization is to create enormous holographic projectors and beam giant images of Smilin’ Jesus and the Holy Cross back to Earth. The goal is to make it so nobody can look at the night sky without seeing Jesus and a bunch of crosses flying around. Studies indicate this causes heathens all over the world to drop to their knees and instantly convert.
- Medicine. Consumption of a few heavily diluted milligrams of Miraculite instantly cures all diseases, even psychological illnesses like homosexuality and Islam, heals all wounds, eliminates poison in the body, and causes overweight users to drop unnecessary pounds. Long-term exposure to Miraculite increases the human lifespan by hundreds of years. Side effects include migraines, nausea, acute paranoia, schizophrenia, bleeding wrists and ankles, surprise pregnancies, speaking in tongues, and the ability to see tiny little demons running around driving people like cars. Miraculite medicine ceases to function when the user stops taking the Bible literally. Kinda like Dune but with more weirdoes.
- Communications. Miraculite based phones are small, portable, and have the ability to communicate with Heaven. While this feature may be useful to those who know the phone numbers of their deceased relatives, it sends the phone number to demonic telemarketers who are interested in purchasing human souls. This does not seem to deter customers, who are always using this feature to call up Jesus and ask him for advice, even if it means being put on hold for centuries.
- Weapons. Miraculite bombs spread the substance into the atmosphere and into the ground, where it causes natural disasters like floods, plagues, and earthquakes.

Okay, next I have to work on a society based on the control of Miraculite...

[Z]

Sounds like the groundwork for a Terry Pratchett novella.

Alternately, starships could simply have engine-prayer rooms, where teams of dedicated monk-engineers tend the Miraculite engines on these long journeys.

[FireGarden]

C4ts,
The most important invention would be the miraculous automated prayer organiser. That way you just pray to one machine and it spreads it all around. In fact, why not invent something to do the praying on your behalf?

How about baking with miraculite? Then you could have your cake and eat it! Just cut out a slice and, lo and behold, it grows back again.

Miraculite weather control
You dump miraculite into the sun, pray, and lo and behold! The sun now shines equally all over the planet, night and day, north and south. Year-round growing season, 24/7, in all latitudes. (Don't worry about the heat - we'll have miraculite air-conditioning).

[davidhorman]

In fact, why not invent something to do the praying on your behalf?

That's what electric monks are for.

David

[Hawk one]

Originally posted by davidhorman
That's what electric monks are for.

David

I thought they were there for doing the believing on your behalf?

THat is, if you are referring to the first Dirk Gently novel. And even then, I won't be bombastic, as I can't seem to find my copy, and thus have to work from memory.

[c4ts]

Originally posted by FireGarden
C4ts,
The most important invention would be the miraculous automated prayer organiser. That way you just pray to one machine and it spreads it all around. In fact, why not invent something to do the praying on your behalf?
It would have to contain a soul to generate the kind of TRUE FAITH (tm) necessary for genuine prayer. Creating an artificial soul would cause free-floating Miracules to instantly coalesce around the inventor and strike him or her dead with a bolt of lightning.

How about baking with miraculite? Then you could have your cake and eat it! Just cut out a slice and, lo and behold, it grows back again.
Enough Miraculite to regrow a slice of cake would instantly rapture the person eating it. There would be nothing left of this person but a pile of empty clothes and the faint odor of Pine Sol. And unless Jesus called this person up on his cell phone and told him to eat that cake, he'd go directly to Hell for legal purposes. However, a homeopathic dilution of Miraculite can turn water into wine, ordinary bread into cake, and ordinary cake into bright pink fat-free zero calorie cake with twice the original flavor.

Miraculite weather control
You dump miraculite into the sun, pray, and lo and behold! The sun now shines equally all over the planet, night and day, north and south. Year-round growing season, 24/7, in all latitudes. (Don't worry about the heat - we'll have miraculite air-conditioning).
Since the True Christian cities of the future are contained inside hyperbaric chambers which replicate the perfect living conditions of the pre-flood world, there is no need for that kind of weather control. Such an alteration would be like giving a massive handout to undeserving heathens worldwide. Amoral barbarians who hate Jesus and refuse to pray for his forgiveness don't deserve perfect year-round weather, and that is why they're not allowed inside the hyperbaric cities.

[FireGarden]

Creating an artificial soul would cause free-floating Miracules to instantly coalesce around the inventor and strike him or her dead with a bolt of lightning.
Well, two things...
First, even if I had to make an artificial soul, I'd wear a Miraculite/copper lightning rod to protect me.

Second,
Think of all those selfless Christians that keep telling us "I'll pray for you". Problem solved. And they're much better than Electric Monks - even the Monk Plus with Negative Capability feature only manages to believe 16 totally different and contradictory ideas at any one time. Piffling! [Book of Adams - page 5]
Enough Miraculite to regrow a slice of cake would instantly rapture the person eating it.
I stand corrected.
But you can use Miraculite to multiply seven loaves to the extent that they feed 4000. I refer you to Mark chapter 8. That obviously dilutes the Miraculite to an extent that makes it edible. Multiply those 4000 loaves into 42,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,008 loaves and the dilution of Miraculite will automatically convert the bread into cake - as per your recipe. (Although I vaguely remember something about bread being turned into the Flesh of Man, or something. Theology is so fast paced it's difficult for me to keep up with the latest understanding.)
Such an alteration would be like giving a massive handout to undeserving heathens worldwide.
What heathens?
Sprinkle Miraculite onto the Bible, pray that all contradictions and inconsitencies depart from the Holy Text - Lo and Behold - you have a text so short even the most fundamentalist A-theists will have the attention span to be able to read the whole thing and, at last, understand the True Faith.

[c4ts]

Originally posted by FireGarden
Well, two things...
First, even if I had to make an artificial soul, I'd wear a Miraculite/copper lightning rod to protect me.

Second,
Think of all those selfless Christians that keep telling us "I'll pray for you". Problem solved. And they're much better than Electric Monks - even the Monk Plus with Negative Capability feature only manages to believe 16 totally different and contradictory ideas at any one time. Piffling! [Book of Adams - page 5]
Creating a soul without having God instill the mechanism with the Breath of Life would contradict Creationist fact, showing that SOULS COULD BE MADE WITHOUT DIVINE INTERVENTION!

What heathens?
Sprinkle Miraculite onto the Bible, pray that all contradictions and inconsitencies depart from the Holy Text - Lo and Behold - you have a text so short even the most fundamentalist A-theists will have the attention span to be able to read the whole thing and, at last, understand the True Faith.

If you believe that certain passages do contradict one another, or are somehow wrong, the Miraculite won't work for you, because you're not a True Believer. It will instantly lose potency and do nothing. Even if you could sustain its power long enough to do that, nothing would change, because the Bible is always right, even when it's wrong! This is the very foundation of Creation Science.

There are many people living outside of the True Christian Cities. The Evil World Government who Hates Jesus (a.k.a. democracy) still controls millions of unsaved souls, and there are many False Christian Cities that use conterfeit miraculite because they're only pretending to be Christian. Good Christian societies cannot let them dawdle into Hell when they can be SAVED, and then they must choose salvation for themselves. Since there are people who HATE GOD and REJECT CHRIST anyway, no good will come from rewarding them.

Right now I'm thinking the cities will be run by a kind of Puritan elect, where advanced nonlinear numerology determines who can rule.

[FireGarden]

Creating a soul without having God instill the mechanism with the Breath of Life would contradict Creationist fact, showing that SOULS COULD BE MADE WITHOUT DIVINE INTERVENTION!
But you have to pray! You have to use miraculite! SO THERE IS DEVINE INTERVENTION! What are you? Some kind of materialist theist? It's not all cause and effect. The universe isn't clockwork. How could a creator have control of a clockwork universe? Have you seen a clock or watch? They're totally uncontrollable! They wind down, they go wrong, they never tell the right time - unless they're broken!

The only way a creator can have control is if there are no physical laws. That way everything is his will, and that alone. Me, you, miraculite... Everything!

So, if you pray hard enough, GOD WILL INTERVENE TO CREATE A SOUL. Just like he intervenes when a child is conceived. Or did you think that sex was simply a physical act? No woman ever got pregnant if she wasn't calling out "God Almighty!"
If you believe that certain passages do contradict one another, or are somehow wrong, the Miraculite won't work for you, because you're not a True Believer. [...] the Bible is always right, even when it's wrong!
Ha ha! You admit it's contradictory.
God, in his wisdom, has put lies in the Bible so that the masses have to turn to those with true insight. Like Jack Chick. You admit as much when you refer to those that call themselves Christian but aren't really Christian. But they're not pretending, they just don't have enough faith to understand the Bible properly.

God, in his wisdom, has also willed me to pray for a clearer, simpler Bible. Or do you think that a puny human like me could disobey the will of God?

[c4ts]

Originally posted by FireGarden
But you have to pray! You have to use miraculite! SO THERE IS DEVINE INTERVENTION! What are you? Some kind of materialist theist? It's not all cause and effect. The universe isn't clockwork. How could a creator have control of a clockwork universe? Have you seen a clock or watch? They're totally uncontrollable! They wind down, they go wrong, they never tell the right time - unless they're broken!

The only way a creator can have control is if there are no physical laws. That way everything is his will, and that alone. Me, you, miraculite... Everything!

So, if you pray hard enough, GOD WILL INTERVENE TO CREATE A SOUL. Just like he intervenes when a child is conceived. Or did you think that sex was simply a physical act? No woman ever got pregnant if she wasn't calling out "God Almighty!"

Ha ha! You admit it's contradictory.
God, in his wisdom, has put lies in the Bible so that the masses have to turn to those with true insight. Like Jack Chick. You admit as much when you refer to those that call themselves Christian but aren't really Christian. But they're not pretending, they just don't have enough faith to understand the Bible properly.

God, in his wisdom, has also willed me to pray for a clearer, simpler Bible. Or do you think that a puny human like me could disobey the will of God?

Of course humans can disobey almighty God. That's what Hell is for. God put people on Earth to succumb to Satan's will so they can die and suffer forever, because he loves them. In fact, there is a Chick tract about "Why God Wont' Answer Your Prayers," or something like that. Here, it's worth a few laughs:
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0083/0083_01.asp

As for my story, it wouldn't be funny if it weren't riddled with holes and contradictory as hell. The fact that I tried to make sense out of it is a problem I intend to correct. I should be making it more absurd.

God has to come across as a faceless psychotic bastard who makes no sense whatsoever or it doesn't work. Of course, he never shows up though he's technically in charge of the city. Eternal hiatus or something like that.

Maybe I'll bring back the Evil A-Theist Conspiracy from the Franko parodies, always coming up with craaaaazy schemes to ruin God's plans with their evil LOGIC and REASON!

[FireGarden]

Of course humans can disobey almighty God.
Ah! But what about puny humans?
As for my story, it wouldn't be funny if it weren't riddled with holes and contradictory as hell. The fact that I tried to make sense out of it is a problem I intend to correct. I should be making it more absurd.
If you want to flame religious people, then fill your story with absurdities and have a good laugh. But if you want your story to be sci-fi, then there has to be a flavour of consistency to it.

I tried to maintain a consistency to my reasoning because I liked the premise and wanted to see where it could lead. Of course, I wouldn't expect to deduce any kind of truth that way - logic on its own can't tell us anything about the real world. It's the way in which some believers ignore material evidence that introduces the real absudities.


Now, about the Chick tract you linked to...
I'm beginning to wonder about Jack. Is he really a Christian? I think Jack (or maybe I should call him Yacoub) is a Muslim.

Frame 16: "Surrender to Christ 5 or 6 times a day"
-- The Muslims pray 5 times a day!

And the final frame shows us that little children pray Christian style, while the guy doing "the holiest and highest work" is praying in what looks like the Muslim style.
Wait a minute... He's facing North...
The evidence doesn't fit the theory.

[Rearranges monitor]

There you go... Now the guy's praying in what looks like the Muslim style, and he's even facing East.

That's evidence based reasoning, not A-theist Logic!

[c4ts]

Of course Jack Chick is Muslim. I saw him worshipping the Moon Goddess the other day. My testimony proves it!

Since Creation science lacks a whole lot of consistency to begin with, any framework arising from it would have to ignore logic as we know it. Much of it is based on refuting strawmen, the "one true Scotsman" fallacy, arguing from ignorance, and so on. I think this is now technically fantasy, given that the story assumes the events in the Bible were all historically true. Places like the Grand Canyon can be carved by water in 40 days, 300 mile an hour hurricanes naturally occur on Earth, humans and dinosaurs lived together, anger causes geysers to erupt, atomic nuclei are held together by Jesus, animals can talk, dead people can physically come back to life, the laws of evolution and thermodynamics don't work, and so on... magical prayer-powered materials are just a drop in the bucket.