Easter morning thought: Was Jesus a bum?

[shemp]

Too early this morning, I heard a car start up. I peeked out the window. The family across the street was going off to Easter sunrise service.

What a pretty picture. The kids dressed up in their Easter finest. I bet they were just thrilled to be dragged out of bed at 4:30 a.m. and thrown into stiff, starched clothes. And the wife looked so happy to be going off to celebrate Jesus' resurrection. I wonder if she was out fooling around last night; the scuttlebutt around town is that she's having an affair, and the marriage is falling apart.

Well, that's not the point of this. For some unknown reason, I thought about the collection plate in church, and I wondered if this was symbolic of Jesus' life too. Because Jesus was an unemployed bum! He gave up a career in carpentry to wander the streets and live off donations. When I think of him and his disciples going from town to town, it seems to me like a traveling medicine show. Jesus and his disciples would roll into town, set up shop, do a few magic tricks, preach a little gospel, and sell a couple bottles of "Dr. Good."

These unemployed bums lived off money they scammed from poor hopeless unfortunates! The people should have turned their backs on them, and they would have either had to go back to work or starve in the desert!

Jesus, get a job, you bum!

[BillyJoe]

Shemp, shouldn't you be scared?

[Lord Kenneth]

These topics are great, shemp, keep 'em rollin'.

But make a topic about Jesus being a pedophile. Those are always great.

[Denise]

It must have been just like the Cher song "Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves. Except that Jesus didn't have a daughter or "Doctor Brew." But maybe Mary danced. Yeah.

[Jesus H Christ]

Originally posted by Dark Cobra
But make a topic about Jesus being a pedophile. Those are always greatOooh! You're mean :(

I'm telling My Daddy about you. You're gonna be so screwed.

I'll get Him to introduce you to all those Catholic priests :D

[Denise]

Originally posted by Jesus H Christ
Oooh! You're mean :(

I'm telling My Daddy about you. You're gonna be so screwed.

I'll get Him to introduce you to all those Catholic priests :D

LOL! Better visit the Borb section too!

[evildave]

Well, Jesus was a LUSH.

The whole NT is one party after another.

Had to turn water into wine just to have enough to drink. Practiced enough so he could do it while drunk, too.

[Jesus H Christ]

Water into wine? Pfft. Water into absinthe.

[Denise]

Originally posted by Jesus H Christ
Water into wine? Pfft. Water into absinthe.

Jesus, remember that time when I was about 15 with that boy? Anyhow, about this forgiveness thing, is that still possible?:D

[Jesus H Christ]

Well, now, that all depends. You free tonight? ;)

[c4ts]

Originally posted by Jesus H Christ
Well, now, that all depends. You free tonight? ;)

You whore. DC still needs you.

[Denise]

Originally posted by Jesus H Christ
Well, now, that all depends. You free tonight? ;)

Now that is just wrong!:eek:

By the way, what do you think of that website? www.jesus.com

Is that really you?

[c4ts]

Originally posted by Jesus H Christ
Water into wine? Pfft. Water into absinthe.

Yes, but can you cluster it first?

[Denise]

OMG! What happened to jesus.com?

[Darat]

Shemp - is there any way I could ask you or convince you to cut down on the number of threads you are starting in R&P?

There is Banter and The Unrelated sections.....

[Jesus H Christ]

Originally posted by c4ts
You whore. DC still needs youSuch are the benefits of omnipresence.

[c4ts]

Originally posted by Jesus H Christ
Such are the benefits of omnipresence.

Nobody is safe.

[Jesus H Christ]

Originally posted by Denise
Now that is just wrong!:eek:Why? A little mutual worship never hurt anyone.

By the way, what do you think of that website? www.jesus.com

Is that really you? No, it is the work of the devil. I have banished it to the depths of Hell.

Well, the depths of Manchester, actually. Close enough.

[c4ts]

From the main menu:
ALL are welcome in MCC...
a worldwide fellowship of Christian
churches with a special outreach to
the world's gay, lesbian, bisexual and
transgender communities.

Are you sure it's not yours?

[Denise]

It's now www.datejesus.com

Wonder how much he sold the old domain name for?

[Denise]

Originally posted by Darat
Shemp - is there any way I could ask you or convince you to cut down on the number of threads you are starting in R&P?

There is Banter and The Unrelated sections.....

I'm sure Hal will Borb this soon anyhow.

[Baker]

Originally posted by Denise
It's now www.datejesus.com

Wonder how much he sold the old domain name for?

I was getting ready to reply on that how did you find his new site?

[c4ts]

Originally posted by Denise
It's now www.datejesus.com

Wonder how much he sold the old domain name for?

Now that one is definitely his!

[shemp]

Originally posted by Darat
Shemp - is there any way I could ask you or convince you to cut down on the number of threads you are starting in R&P?

There is Banter and The Unrelated sections.....

Last time I checked, all of the threads I started here pertain to religion.

Now that Beaster's over, I'll probably cool it until the next big religious holiday.

[Denise]

Originally posted by Baker


I was getting ready to reply on that how did you find his new site?

Did a google search.

[Dancing David]

Of course Jesus was a bum by modern standards, he did advocate living off the land and eschewed property ownership.

Peace
dancing david

[Rosetta Stone]

Originally posted by shemp
Now that Beaster's over, I'll probably cool it until the next big religious holiday.
Now, that's a fine album. I've always liked Bob Mould.