Ten questions to ask an alien

[JLam]

In Carl Sagan's "The Demon Haunted World", he was writing about frustrations he encountered when corresponding with people who claimed to be in contact with aliens from advanced civilizations. He never was able to get satisfactory answers to questions that are unanswered by our civilization. He writes:

It's a stimulating exercise to think of questions to which no human today knows the answers, but where a correct answer would immediately be recognized as such. It's even more challenging to formulate such questions in fields other than mathematics. Perhaps we should hold a contest and collect the best resonses in "Ten Questions to Ask an Alien"

So, who wants to start?

[Freakshow]

In Carl Sagan's "The Demon Haunted World", he was writing about frustrations he encountered when corresponding with people who claimed to be in contact with aliens from advanced civilizations. He never was able to get satisfactory answers to questions that are unanswered by our civilization. He writes:



So, who wants to start? 10: What's the deal with cattle mutilations? You really like beef that much?
9: Were the guys that crashed at Roswell drunk? I mean, really...you don't have these things designed so that they're crash-proof?
8: Why are you always picking up...um..."rural types"? Don't you like city folk?
7: Do they have weed where you come from?
6: Ummm...where...are...um...where are your...uh...parts?
5: You didn't come here for our TV programs, did you?
4: Can you guys tell the future? If so, can you give me some stock picks?
3: I bet your doctors are a lot better than ours, right? Well, see, I've had this pain for a while...
2: Can I drive that thing?
1: If you abduct me...can we please skip the anal probe?

OK...I'll think about it and put up a serious list at a later time. :) That one's going to take more thought. :)

[clarsct]

Imagine a contact with an alien race that were completly atheistic. Imagine they had no cultural 'network' on which to hang the idea of God.

Now imagine trying to explain the concept to them.

I think we have a sit-com in the making.....

(Or did Mork and Mindy cover this one?)

[Patricio Elicer]

I read the book, and I often find myself thinking on possible questions of that kind. But I've been unable to come up with simple and satisfactory questions meeting the requirements. I think the hard part is the "immediatly recognized" aspect.

In 1955, say, a good question could've been: "Please provide me with a detailed topographic map of the other side of the moon".

Today, perhaps: "Please tell your alien friend to provide me with a complete topographic map of the surface of Venus"

[Rasmus]

In Carl Sagan's "The Demon Haunted World", he was writing about frustrations he encountered when corresponding with people who claimed to be in contact with aliens from advanced civilizations. He never was able to get satisfactory answers to questions that are unanswered by our civilization. He writes:



So, who wants to start?

Where, precisely, are you from?
Anyone who travelled here should be able to give an answer that we'd readily understand and could check.

Is there a way we, as a species or nation, planet, community or whatever, could be in touch after you've left?
I mean, they must have an e-mail address, right? Or at least an aliene equvalent to hubble or some such things wich with it should be possible to at least communicate rudemntarily.

See, we don't really want to bother you all that much, but we have a slight problem here with [AIDS, ebola, world hunger, limited energy resources, Geroge Bush]. Any pointers?
On the grounds that it won't harm to ask and see what they can up with. Chnaces are that in order to advance to interstellar space flight they might have been around long enough to have seen and coped with one or two similar situations.

Why us? Why now?
Inquiring minds want to know! There must be other interesting planets and I doubt that they just gt lost on their way to somewhere else. Or have they really been everywhere else yet and we're last in line?

Would you care to talk about God with us?
I was going to be just funny and just slip in a jehova's witnesses refernce or something; but I honestly would like to know how their society works and what exactly it is that made the mas advanced as they appear to be.

Rasmus.

[delphi_ote]

A wise man once asked...
WHY ARE THEY USING #@*ING CORN?!
http://206.225.95.123/forumlive/showthread.php?postid=1261068#post1261068

Seriously, this sounds fun!

Is there a unified theory of physics?

Do you have an understanding of the beginning of time? If so, please explain.

How did you get here?

[Desktop Icon]

Boxers or briefs?

[Patricio Elicer]

Where, precisely, are you from?
Anyone who travelled here should be able to give an answer that we'd readily understand and could check."He" can name any star, and describe in any detail his home planet, but how can you recognize it as a "correct" answer?

[geni]

In Carl Sagan's "The Demon Haunted World", he was writing about frustrations he encountered when corresponding with people who claimed to be in contact with aliens from advanced civilizations. He never was able to get satisfactory answers to questions that are unanswered by our civilization. He writes:



So, who wants to start?


When this happened on this forum I went for mersenne primes:

http://206.225.95.123/forumlive/showthread.php?t=29096

Asside from maths the problem becomes more difficult.

In chemistry I would probably go for asking for the recipy for a high tempreture superconductor,

In phyisics I'd look ask what disscoveries the large hadron positron colider will make.

Biology is even more difficult though I supose I could as for the structure of a protene that we have got the structure for yet.

[logical muse]

Beatles or Stones?

Or...

How long have you guys been watching us and do you have it all on DVD?

[Rasmus]

"He" can name any star, and describe in any detail his home planet, but how can you recognize it as a "correct" answer?

People do look for signs of life out there, analysing data from radiotelescopes and what not. (what would I know about this? I barely got my seti@home installed) I suspect that knowing where exactly we should look; possibly even what we ought to be looking for precisely, might help?

I didn't so much realize that those questions ought to be designed to verify that the answers are supplied by actual aliens, though. (Hey, you got a cure for Aids, I won't give a rule8 where you're from...)

Also, I did ignore the "immediately"-part of the correct answer.

If one day a greenis, intelligent slime oozes into my house and manages to talk to me - despite my heartatack, panic, screaming, attmepting to run away and whatnot - my first concern would not be to be able to prove the experience to others afterwards.

Also, what good would it do if they did give me the answer to some mathematical problem? Besides my not being able to follow their explanantions, it would jsut show that a certain question can actually be solved. How does that prove they are aliens? It proves they're good at math. If I could answer any of these questions (http://www.claymath.org/millennium/), would you think I was good at math, or belive that I was an alien provided I made the claim?

Rasmus.

[geni]

People do look for signs of life out there, analysing data from radiotelescopes and what not. (what would I know about this? I barely got my seti@home installed) I suspect that knowing where exactly we should look; possibly even what we ought to be looking for precisely, might help?

With current telescopes? Not really.




Also, what good would it do if they did give me the answer to some mathematical problem? Besides my not being able to follow their explanantions, it would jsut show that a certain question can actually be solved. How does that prove they are aliens? It proves they're good at math. If I could answer any of these questions (http://www.claymath.org/millennium/), would you think I was good at math, or belive that I was an alien provided I made the claim?

Rasmus.

This is why I went for mersenne primes.

[Rasmus]

With current telescopes? Not really.

Like I said, I am rather clueless. So it wouldn't help the nice peolpe at seti@home if they were told where to look?

This is why I went for mersenne primes.

So if someone did tell you the 42nd Mersenne Prime, what would that tell you? (GIMPS found a 42nd Mersenne Prime earlier this year, btw, or so tells me Wikipedia. Again, I am too ignorant to know if there would be any potential gaps in the list.)

ETA: Reading the other thread I realize oyu probably were aware that they got a little further by now ...)

Rasmus.

[geni]

Like I said, I am rather clueless. So it wouldn't help the nice peolpe at seti@home if they were told where to look?



only if the aliens were broadcasting quite a powerful signal and if we allow for FTL travel even that would not be enough.


So if someone did tell you the 42nd Mersenne Prime, what would that tell you? (GIMPS found a 42nd Mersenne Prime earlier this year, btw, or so tells me Wikipedia. Again, I am too ignorant to know if there would be any potential gaps in the list.)

ETA: Reading the other thread I realize oyu probably were aware that they got a little further by now ...)

Rasmus.

There may be gaps in the list so the question properly phrased is "can you tell me a mersenne prime not currently know to the human race?". Once you have a number it is mearly a matter of brute force computeing power to see if they are right.

[rjh01]

To prove a life form is not of Planet Earth all what is needed is to produce a tissue sample. The DNA (or what they use for DNA) will be a lot different from ours.

Almost any advanced technology will also do. Imagine being given parts from a computer from a more advanced civilization.

[Chaos]

To prove a life form is not of Planet Earth all what is needed is to produce a tissue sample. The DNA (or what they use for DNA) will be a lot different from ours.

Is was thinking along these lines as well. There ought to be something about their biology that marks them als "not from this world".

Or at least a sufficiently detailed overview of the lifeforms of their homeworld - detailed enough to make sure no human amateur could have made it up.

[Paul C. Anagnostopoulos]

Have you found a metaphysical question that makes any sense?

~~ Paul

[Soapy Sam]

Any chance of a lift?

[c4ts]

10. Where do you hide the new agers?
9. Can I borrow that ray gun?
8. What's the deal with those thingies on the ends of your shoelaces?
7. Do you have a visa?
6. Want a beer?
5. Got a light?
4. What's your best probe story?
3. Can I fly the saucer for a minute?
2. What kind of music do you listen to?
1. Where did I put that camera?

[kedo1981]

There is only one question

WILL YOU BE OUR FRIEND?

[alfaniner]

This is an amazing coincidence. I've had the book sitting on my nightstand for months, and just finished rereading it last night. When I went to put it away, I saw a Post-It marker that I had attached to one of the pages. I had put it right at that paragraph of "Ten Questions to ask an Alien", to remind me to see if there was a JREF topic for it (and if not, create one). It was late, I was lazy, and I figured it had already been done, so I removed the marker and put the book away.

Apparently, right around that exact time, this thread was being created. Spooky....

[El Greco]

If they were way more advanced than us, I don't think they'd sit around answering questions. It's possible that they'd zap us even before we became aware of their existence.

[Mojo]

Why did you have to let us have Michael Knighton back?

[fruit_loup]

It would most likely involve questions of a sexual nature. Who wouldn't want to hold the claim of being the first "earthling" to get it on with an alien. Especially if they are unusually flexible, very attractive, and can manipulate your brain in strange alien ways. Of course i would probably wind up meeting an anal probe fetishist and just asking where the socks that vanish in the dryer go.

[Bronze Dog]

Aside from the possibility of making out with a hot alien babe:

"Can you show me how to make a lightsaber?"

If he starts quoting the Prime Directive, pummel his [keister] until he gives you the schematics... Unless he has a lightsaber on hand.

[Starthinker]

Aside from the possibility of making out with a hot alien babe:

"Can you show me how to make a lightsaber?"

If he starts quoting the Prime Directive, pummel his [keister] until he gives you the schematics... Unless he has a lightsaber on hand.

I was always told not to mix metaphores, does the same etiquette apply to sci-fi shows?

I'd ask, why me? Why didn't you contact the President or United Nations?

[petre]

Well, if we are assuming the alien visitors are more intelligent (and not some fool that managed to steal a starship and point it at our blue ball) then I think the best first question would be...

What question should I be asking you?

:)

[c4ts]

Well, if we are assuming the alien visitors are more intelligent (and not some fool that managed to steal a starship and point it at our blue ball) then I think the best first question would be...

What question should I be asking you?

:)

"How will our minerals and cerebral fluids benefit the Xkasafian Hive Empire?"

[edge]

Even if you had the answers you won't listen and believe the story.

I'll give you this much their power source is 666.
They are very evasive.

They won't answer a direct question.

And you won't listen.

[Ceritus]

"Can you speak English?"

"Can you supply me with some hard evidence of your visit so even the most skeptical of minds would believe?"

"Can you stick around for a little bit so I can have you meet James Randi and a few other people"

"Do you happen to have some detailed history books of your civilization or an encyclopedia of sorts?"

"Can I have a copy of your most advanced science and mathematical books"

"Could you translate those books into english"

"Could I hear what you think is the most beautiful music your species has ever produced?"

"What is your interest with humanity"

"How did you get here?"

"What can I do for you?"

[Bronze Dog]

Even if you had the answers you won't listen and believe the story.

I'll give you this much their power source is 666.
They are very evasive.

They won't answer a direct question.

And you won't listen.
This, from someone who dodges and retreats when he fails a test.

You'd be surprised how much we actually listen. The problem is that there isn't a great deal of content.

[Freakshow]

Imagine being given parts from a computer from a more advanced civilization.I'd try to play Half-Life on it. :D

[Rasmus]

I'd try to play Half-Life on it. :D

... can you imagine trying to get the graphic card to woirk properly, or hunting down the correct drivers?

[kalen]

Can I take your ship for a spin?

I'll bring it back, I promise....

[Zax63]

(spoken very slowly and loudly) Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?

On the serious side - how about a safe, cheap, clean energy source.

[Bronze Dog]

Welcome to the forum, Zax. You could ask a better question, though. I suppose next, you'll ask for silly things cures for fatal diseases, world hunger, and politicians. ;)

[luchog]

"Are you returning Glen Miller?"

[BillC]

"Why exactly did you drain the water out of that swimming pool belonging to that woman in the Montel Show audience?"

[El Greco]

"Can you speak English?"

Of course I can, stupid.

"Can you supply me with some hard evidence of your visit so even the most skeptical of minds would believe?"

I can, but I won't.

"Can you stick around for a little bit so I can have you meet James Randi and a few other people"

Oh, don't worry about it. I'll stick around for more than you'd ever imagine.

"Do you happen to have some detailed history books of your civilization or an encyclopedia of sorts?"

Books ? What do you think we are, animals ? All the available information is readily being coded on our genes.

"Can I have a copy of your most advanced science and mathematical books"

You really have an obsession with books, haven't you ?

"Could you translate those books into english"

You know, you start to get on my nerves with those books of yours.

"Could I hear what you think is the most beautiful music your species has ever produced?"

Sorry, we don't have what you call "music". We have a type of sensor that can recognize a much greater array of signals than your "eyes", "ears" or "receptors". Besides, we don't need "music" because "entertainment" is not a part of our civilization.

"What is your interest with humanity"

Uhmm.... we need some carbon.

"How did you get here?"

Would you believe me if I told you "by foot" ?

"What can I do for you?"

Thanks, but you can't do much. We'll help oursleves. Mwahahahahahaha!

[Ryan O'Dine]

Seems to me, in all seriousness, the purpose of deriving such questions -- and making them public -- would be to ask the next abductee Did you ask The Question?, and immediately know if they had actually encountered an alien race by the answer.

In other words, it's a tool for verification purposes.

[The Kilted Yaksman]

... can you imagine trying to get the graphic card to woirk properly, or hunting down the correct drivers?
Being from a truly advanced society their graphics adapter would likely only support the Glide API.

[c4ts]

"Can you speak English?"
No. I don't speak English.

"Can you supply me with some hard evidence of your visit so even the most skeptical of minds would believe?"'
I have a sturdy metal pipe full of evidence. By the way, where are your reproductive organs located?

"Can you stick around for a little bit so I can have you meet James Randi and a few other people"
Who is this "James Randi" and what is his nutritional value?

"Do you happen to have some detailed history books of your civilization or an encyclopedia of sorts?"
I got a shotgun. It's advanced beyond your wildest dreams.

"Can I have a copy of your most advanced science and mathematical books"
Bo-oks? Never heard of them. I watch TeeVee.

"Could you translate those books into english"
I dunno. Can I shoot them?

"Could I hear what you think is the most beautiful music your species has ever produced?"
Sometimes we fart through our ears. I did that one time, sounded good to me.

"What is your interest with humanity"
I get drunk sometimes and wind up here, urinating funny patterns in your crops. I made me a big circle one time.

"How did you get here?"
If I could remember that, I wouldn't be talking to you.

"What can I do for you?"
Hey, wanna go pick up some new agers and stick drills up their noses just to f*** with 'em? And then we gonna tip a bunch of cows and take their skins...

[BS Investigator]

What is the meaning of life?

How can we become immortal?

Will the universe end in a big crunch?

Are there other dimensions?

Is time travel possible?

Is faster-than-light-speed travel possible?

How many other advanced civilizations are in our galaxy?


The list of questions goes on and on....

[Roadtoad]

Probably the only question I'd ask:

So, how come my pickup doesn't get better mileage?

Well, that and "Did you want a nut log from Stuckey's?"

[Tricky]

Whenever I see this topic, I have to post the link to the outstanding short story by David Brin, Those Eyes (http://www.davidbrin.com/thoseeyes1.html).

The scenario is that an astronomer type (think Phil Plait) is a guest host on a late night talk show and has to deal with all the UFO nuts who are calling in. But among his audience are the "aliens" themselves, except they're not what you thought...

"This is Professor Joe Perez, sitting in for Talkback Larry. You're on the air.
"Yes? Uh huh?... Well folks, seems our next caller wants to talk about so-called Ancient Visitors. I'm game. Let's pick apart those 'gods' and their fabulous chariots.
"Ooh, they taught ancient Egyptians to build pyramids! And golly, they had some of my own ancestors scratch stick figures on a stony plateau in Peru! To help spaceships find landing pads, right? I guess the notion's barely plausible, till you ask... why?
"Why would anyone want such ridiculous 'landing pads,' when they could've had much better? Why not open a small trade college and teach our ancestors to pour cement? A few electronics classes and we could've made arc lamps and radar to guide their saucers through anything from rain to locusts!
"... What? They were here to help us? Well thanks a lot, you alien gods you! Thanks for neglecting to mention flush toilets, printing presses, democracy, or the germ theory of disease! Or ecology, leaving us to ruin half the planet before finally catching on! Hell, if someone had just shown us how to make simple glass lenses, we could've done the rest. How much ignorance and misery we'd have escaped!
"You'd credit human innovations like architecture and poetry, physics and empathy, to aliens? ... Really? ... Well I say you insult our poor foremothers and dads, who crawled from the muck, battling superstition and ignorance every step of the way, until we may at last be ready to clean up our act and look the universe in the eye. No, friend. If there were ancient astronauts, we owe them nada, zip, nothing!
"... What's that? ... Well the same to you, pal ... No, forget it. I don't want to talk to you anymore. Go worship silly, meddlesome star-gods if you want to. Next caller, please."

[monoman]

Why did you come here?

We see wha you earthlings call “crop circles” and “pyramids”. We’s blown away. It’s impossible to for us to concieve how the structures was created, we had to come and check them out! (excusing my english)

We made them.

Really? I do’t believe you. I mean, I no you’re aliens to us but do’t you have to at least not live on earth to create something like that?

Huh?.

Sorry, where’s the pop idol studeos?

Jesus.

[Bronze Dog]

One question I've heard of was "Is (latest really big number) a prime?"

Problem with this question is that it has to be continually updated.

[Melendwyr]

Have you found a metaphysical question that makes any sense? "Have you found a metaphysical question that makes any sense?"

[TX50]

On the other hand what do we do if we ask The Question and the alien
says:

"We were hoping you could tell us!" :boggled:

[Metullus]

Long trip? Got pictures?

[c4ts]

I can see it now. 500 years in the future, an alien craft lands out in the middle of the desert. An occupant kicks the Pioneer probe out the hatch before takeoff. And that's the last we see of aliens.

[exarch]

(Hey, you got a cure for Aids, I won't give a rule8 where you're from...)
A cure may already exist, but the way developing and testing drugs goes, even if it's the real deal it probably won't be available for at least another ten years or so.
And provided the AIDS virus hasn't mutated too much by then so the drug is no longer effective against the newer strains.

[/derail]

[GzuzKryzt]

I can see it now. 500 years in the future, an alien craft lands out in the middle of the desert. An occupant kicks the Pioneer probe out the hatch before takeoff. And that's the last we see of aliens.

All right then. Apply for the JREF Challenge in 499 years. :)

[Spektator]

I thought the first question was always, "May I see your green card?"

[l0rca]

My question would be:

"Please don't kill me?"

I highly doubt an alien race would come here respecting our existance.

[clarsct]

Hmmmmmmmmmm.

I would ask it what a 'knee biter' is...

[Nucular]

Will you hold still while me and my mates dissect you?

What's with the goons in black?

Carl Sagan once noted that we'd be more likely to successfully mate with a geranium than an alien, which is a hypothesis I'd like to test - are you busy Friday night?

Do you like these shiny beads? Would you swap parts of your planet for them?

On our planet there is a Universal Prime Directive known as 'Finders Keepers' - I trust that given that I found you and your spaceship you'll honour that Directive?

Have you let Jesus into your life?

Is that a ray gun in your pocket, or... oh, it is.

[Alphaba]

Are you an alien?

Can you provide extraordinary evidence for that extraordinary claim?

What's this?

I beg your pardon?

A what?

Can you repeat more slowly?

How do you spell it?

Can you write it please?

Er... What time is it?

[Solitaire]

Late one night they came.
And I did ask the question, “Is there hope for Michael Jackson?”
Hopefully they’ll find the answer one day.

[delphi_ote]

Late one night they came.
And I did ask the question, “Is there hope for Michael Jackson?”
Hopefully they’ll find the answer one day.

If the Jews would just leave the poor guy alone, I'm sure he'd be just fine.

ABC News has acquired voice mail messages from Michael Jackson in which the pop star blames a Jewish conspiracy for his financial woes.

"They suck ... they're like leeches ... I'm so tired of it," Jackson told former adviser Dieter Wiesner in one of the messages. "The Jews do it on purpose."

[Freakshow]

I never got back around to giving a serious answer to this one.

Some good ones have already been listed, that I agree with.

I am assuming that the purpose of the questions is not to verify that they are truly aliens. I assume that I am to take the scenario as knowing for certain that they really are alien visitors. I am also to assume that I will be the only person they ever talk to, so that my questions can't lead to more questions. No "Can you talk to this guy Stephen Hawking for a while?" questions. I ask, they answer (I or they can write the answers, to make sure I can relay the answers accurately), and they go.

Very interesting...

These are listed in no particular order. The numbers are simply for identification. Anything that is a yes/no question assumes that not only will they answer yes or no, but that they will offer a detailed explanation.

Where exactly are you from?
How did you get here?
Do you have a detailed understanding of how gravity works?
Is time travel possible? (How?)
While here, how do you communicate with your homeworld? (This assumes they are not time travelers from our own world. In fact, all of my questions assume that they are not time travelers from our own world.)
Is there violence in your world? (This is an extremely important question. Do other sentient and intelligent beings also need to at times resort to physical force to resolve intractable differences? The answer could tell us a lot about ourselves.)
Have you been here before? (The answer should explain whether or not some past reports of aliens are true.)
How do your computers work? (I'm expecting them to give me a HUGE book in response to this question.)
What sort of government do your people have?
Is there life in the universe other than just us and you?I...think that is my list of 10. I'll let it "bake" for a while, and see if I change my mind. I think once I let this settle a bit, I will realize that some of these questions are wasted on my own curiosity. Like #7, for example...

[sparks]

"You guys are obviously way ahead of us, so, how'd you happen to pick this blue-green dirtball as a place to stop? Potty break. Right.