Mission statements for SCAMmers

[Badly Shaved Monkey]

I thought of some (http://www.badscience.net/?p=186). I don't know how many are original or remembered from other sources. It seems like a rich vein to tap.

"Placebin- does exactly what it says on the tin.

Support your Local Homeopath-
a joint message from Thames Water and British Sugar

Homeopathy-
for when doing nothing is good enough

Colonic Irrigation-
just going through the motions

Craniosacral Therapy-
Scratching your head, but tickling your fancy

Alternative Medicine-
more quacks than your local pond

Chiropracter-
Back. Crack. Quack."

[I edited a couple after copying them here]

I like the chiropractic one best.

I thought others might be able to think of more.

p.s. I'll let the Mods decide whether it can stay here because it has medical relevance, which it does, or shift it to humour because it is funny, which is questionable.

[HeyLeroy]

I don't know why everyone's always slamming on homeopathy. Homeopathic remedies always cure my thirst.

[Rolfe]

Most homoeopathic remedies are sugar pills.

Rolfe.

[HeyLeroy]

I know, lame attempt at humour.

[Rolfe]

"Placebin- does exactly what it says on the tin.Been done.

http://www.panexa.com/

Rolfe.

[Deetee]

I posted this over at bad science, but seems it could go here too.

With magnification, the text reads very well.
http://www.tripzine.com/images/placebo_ad.jpg

[Nucular]

Magnet Therapy:
Remove foil helmets before entering

Ear Candles:
We need to keep the other orifice clear for talking

Science is Wrong! (and we'll burn anyone who says different)

Magnet Therapy:
Cybermen Only

Herbal Medicine: the Safe Alternative
More heroin vicar?

Come for Acupuncture:
We'll tell you our theories, and you'll just feel a prick

Chiropractic:
Pay me money, and I'll manipulate you

I'm hooked on homeopathic crack - I just want less and less!

Endstage Cancer Cured Here:
Lifetime guarantee

Alternative Neonatal Care:
For people born yesterday

CAM:
You might get better and you might not, but we'll always be able to explain why

Scientific research is biased! Which is why you should base your worldview on our leaflets instead.

Olearium Serpensentis please, 30C.

[PatKelley]

Homeopathy: Billions of fish can't be wrong!

Homeopathic Remedy*
*Ingredients not included

Collodial Silver made me Blue

[Rolfe]

Homeopathic Remedy*
*Ingredients not includedOoh, I like that one!

Rolfe.

[PatKelley]

Ooh, I like that one!

Rolfe.
I so need to market that as bottled water... DIBS!
I'm going to make a mint! Goodby ethics, hello Moolah!

[John Jackson]

Chiropractic: A cracking good service.

Acupuncture: Making money from pricks.

Phrenology: Treating those who need their heads examining.

Trepaning: Therapy for the open-minded.

Homeopathy: gives you volcanicity. (may be funny for UK readers).

FURTHER READING:

The practitioners' guide to Reiki by Hans Waving.

Iridology by I. C. Flex.

A Chinese appraisal of Gillian McKeith's diagnostics by Lu Cat Pu Pu.

The definitive guide to Homeopathic remedies by H. Tuo.