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View Full Version : Cancel Christmas! S. Claus hiring scabs!


Roadtoad
11th December 2005, 07:24 PM
The whole, unvarnished truth at last! Fat boy hires scabs to make toys! (http://www.forbes.com/2005/12/05/santa-labor-elves_cx_mn_05fict15_1205clausprofile.html?boxes=c ustom)

At issue is Claus’ treatment of his large elvish work force, which annually produces some 700 million toys with a market value in excess of $14 billion. Critics claim that the elves work long hours for low pay under hazardous conditions. Particularly at issue is Claus' adamant refusal to give the elves any sort of health insurance and his stubborn insistence on keeping his manufacturing operations at the North Pole, where governmental oversight is nonexistent.

“It was bad enough trying to make wooden rocking horses and sleds during the depths of an arctic winter,” says Twinkleflake, “but nowadays all the kids want is electronics. You try working with all those chemicals in perpetual darkness.”

During the winter (approximately Sept. 21 to March 21), the sun never rises at the North Pole, and temperatures as low as minus 59 degrees Fahrenheit have been recorded.

“That’s cold, even for a snow elf,” says Holly Stockingstuffer, an independent filmmaker who recently released a fiercely anti-Claus documentary entitled The Workshop: The High Cost of Free Toys. “The conditions up there are subhuman. I mean, leaving aside the bitter cold and the months of darkness for a moment, there is the wildlife problem. There are literally hundreds of ill-tempered polar bears roaming freely about the property. And those flying reindeer don’t smell too sweet either.”

Scary stuff!

Freakshow
11th December 2005, 07:26 PM
The whole, unvarnished truth at last! Fat boy hires scabs to make toys! (http://www.forbes.com/2005/12/05/santa-labor-elves_cx_mn_05fict15_1205clausprofile.html?boxes=c ustom)



Scary stuff!Ever see the Futurama episode about XMas? :D

Mahatma Kane Jeeves
11th December 2005, 07:38 PM
Or heard the song "Elf's Lament" by Barenaked Ladies? :D

"Toiling through the ages, making toys on garnished wages
There's no union
We're only through when we outdo the competition"

patchbunny
11th December 2005, 09:59 PM
Reminds me of a Gahan Wilson cartoon where he's pleading before an affirmative action review board.

"I tell you, I've tried to find a female elf, a black elf, a hispanic elf! The only break I've gotten is most every elf is gay!"

Kerberos
12th December 2005, 03:10 AM
Or heard the song "Elf's Lament" by Barenaked Ladies? :D

"Toiling through the ages, making toys on garnished wages
There's no union
We're only through when we outdo the competition"
Or "Ho, Ho, F-wording Ho" by Monthy Python I think. It's hilarious.

ImaginalDisc
12th December 2005, 09:34 AM
I am shocked, SHOCKED, by the irresponsible journalism shown here. They said not a word about Santa blatantly violating intellectual property rights, by forcing his elves to build exact replicas of toys developed by other companies. Investigative journalism indeed.

I'm sure Microsoft will pressing suit against Santa after he delivers all those Xbox 360's.

jj
12th December 2005, 12:25 PM
Interesting. Now, let's consider the view of the Angel on top of the Xmess tree.

Those of you who are not at work, look for "who put the stump" in the "archives" at www.twistedtunes.com

luchog
12th December 2005, 04:28 PM
Yeah, we'll see how hard they complain when Santa starts outsourcing everything to India and China, and they're left without jobs.