What do you think about gays?

[n FaCtOr]

....just wonderin.

[Tony]

I dont care. Just keep your dong away from my hole. :D

[subgenius]

I dunno I'm thinkin of goin gay, it is a choice isn't it? Anyone who thinks it is is obviously a repressed homosexual. Cracks me up to hear fundie preachers say its a choice. Proves where they're coming from, like if they didn't watch themselves who knows?
As Woody said "I'm bi because it doubles my chances for a date on the weekends."

[corplinx]

I think they're faaaaaaabulous. You can't do much theatre without working with people who are very talented and very gay.

[MRC_Hans]

Indifferent.

Hans

[iain]

Not a lot. Of the gay and lesbian people I've known, some I've liked, some I haven't cared about and one or two have really p*ssed me off. Much the same as straight people.

I like 'em. They contrast nicely with straight people. What do gays think of heteros?

[Supercharts]

I really don't care. Every once in a while I meet an obviously Gay person who has a wicked sense of humor. I appreciate that sense of humor and the fact that they can make fun of themselves.
What I don't like about Gays is their choice of jewelry. It's usually too large, mis-matched, and kitchy. But maybe that's just me.
Also the mode of dress. What's with the pastels and straw hats? Truman Capote is dead! Accept it. Move on! And Goth doesn't cut it either.

[Hellcat]

Definition of the word Gay.
1-Showing or characterised by cheerfulness and light-hearted excitement; merry.
2- Bright or brilliant especially in colour.
3- Full of or given to social pleasures.
4- Rare. Dissolute; licentious.
5- Homosexual.
n~ Informal. A homosexual{Middle English,[]gay, gai[/i] from Old French gai, from Old Provençal, probably from Gothic gatheis(unattested), akin to Old high German gahi sudden, impetuous.]



If you are referring to the term "homosexual," I have never had any issue or problem with any person due to their sexual nature, status, education, race, religion, or any other form of stereotype placed upon people by others. As long as they treat me in the same manner I treat them (nicely, courteously, politely and above all friendly) we will get along just fine.

[Samus]

Originally posted by n FaCtOr
What do you think about gays? Why do you ask, you thinkin' about coming out?

[Skeptical Greg]

Originally posted by n FaCtOr
....just wonderin.

I don't.. ( very often..)

[Humphreys]

Originally posted by n FaCtOr
....just wonderin.

I have nothing against gays, it's the dirty, awful things they get up to when us decent straight people aren't looking that bothers me.

What with the lubricant and vegetables, yuck, it's sick. That's not to mention what they get up to with their hands.

I can't help meeting a gay guy and wondering where his hands have been. Eew Jesus NO :(


:D

[Peach Jr.]

Being a musician, I've had the opportunity to meet and work with a lot of gay people. And a lot of straight people and a lot of bisexual people.

Some I like just fine. Some I love dearly. And some I wouldn't kick out of the way of an oncoming semi.

Unless someone is inviting me into their bedroom ;) , it really doesn't make much of a difference to me. If we're working together, I expect them to show up on time and ready to do their best work for that day. It doesn't make much of a difference to me otherwise.

(Edited to remove some spelling "help")

[Interesting Ian]

I just wish that people didn't think I am one, when I'm not.

[Baker]

Originally posted by Interesting Ian
I just wish that people didn't think I am one, when I'm not.

Go for it "n FaCtOr" he wants you! J/k:D

[Upchurch]

Originally posted by n FaCtOr
....just wonderin.
I play in a gay community band, despite being straight myself (there is always a need for tuba players, regardless of their qualifications :D). I don't know that I've ever met a friendlier or more open (pardon the pun) group of people in my life. My fiancee and I are now even regularly invited to dinners and parties and never do I or my fiancee ever feel like the minority "straight couple" in the group.

Also, in a broad generalization kind of way, gay men have the neatest, most well decorated homes I have ever seen outside of museums. It is completely amazing. I have never gone to a party at someone's home and thought, "man, what a dump."

Gay men are great for the property values in the neighborhood.

[Skeptic]

Also, in a broad generalization kind of way, gay men have the neatest, most well decorated homes I have ever seen outside of museums.

Well, they ARE pretty anal people...

(I know... I KNOW... don't write in... just couldn't resist a joke, Okay???)

[Kodiak]

Live and let live...

[SoBitter]

As people, like someone else said, some are cool, some are not. One girl I work with is gay and she is really cool, but her girlfriend is a b**ch. So in my experience, they vary just like straight people.
As for the rights of gay people, I think they should be allowed to marry and have the legal rights of married people. I have heard some horror stories about gay people getting sick and their families denying their partners any rights even to see them as they get sick and die. That is horrible. When I worked at the gap, (which we used to say stood for gay and proud), married gay couples were covered by health insurance which is something many companies do not offer. I liked that fact about the company, it made me feel like they weren't prejudiced, which is something I like in a company.

[BillyTK]

I try not to think of people in terms of gay and straight; y'don't get people saying, "Look at him, he's so swinging" or "Look at her, she's such a dominatrix," so why should gender preference be exaggerated above all other forms of sexual expression (other than as a result of entrenched attitudes resulting from historical circumstance)?

[Nitpick]

Well, two of my closer (male) friends are gay and I often find it both saddening and amusing to see that (concerning love life at least) they're not a bit better off than the rest of us.
It reminds me it's not only women who make things difficult. A highly valuable insight on life when you have to deal with 2 ex-wifes... :( ;)

[Brooklyn Dodger]

I've got no problem with gays at all. I used to make loads of money smuggling gerbils into San Francisco during the 1980s when that was the craze.

[Upchurch]

Originally posted by BillyTK
I try not to think of people in terms of gay and straight;
That's true too. The group of gay guys I hang out with have a bi-monthly (no pun intended) party where we go to someone's house and play board games and talk, etc. At those parties, I've stopped thinking about them as "gay men" and started thinking of them as Chris, Mark, Dennis, Warren, Mama and Daddy, etc. (I know Mama and Daddy's real names are Kevin and Dave, but I can never remember which one is which because no one calls them that)

However, we do still call the parties "Gay Boy Game Night". An exception to every rule, huh?

[FFed]

I used to work for a park that had a gay cruise area where literally hundreds of gays would cruise for sex each day. My fellow workers and I would always find child porn, dirty condoms, anal lube, and other sick stuff all over the place. The parks board tried to close the place down but they all cried descrimination. There is no way a heterosexual place like this could exist.
It was a real eye opener for me and I had really no opinion before working there, but now the lifestyle makes me sick.

I don't know if this link is against the forum rules or not, maybe a mod can check it. It is a link for cruising for gay sex. Here is it. (http://www.squirt.org/)

[Dancing David]

Who cares if thier gay or not. It shouldn't matter.

As for the condoms, lube(how do you know it was anal?), and child porn, these are all things that the hetero community engage in, besides the whole beat your wife and molest the children thing.

Hey: it is a fact that the vast majority of child molestors are hetero, so why don't we go and condem straights!

My brother was gay from the day he was born, I'm not, but why should it bother me. I think that the men who are scared of homosexuals are scared because they are afraid of being treated the way they treat women. I have been to many 'gay' parties, they all know I am straight (probably my no style haircut and the wife), they don't hit on me.

Preace
dancing David

[corplinx]

Originally posted by FFed
I used to work for a park that had a gay cruise area where literally hundreds of gays would cruise for sex each day. My fellow workers and I would always find child porn, dirty condoms, anal lube, and other sick stuff all over the place. The parks board tried to close the place down but they all cried descrimination. There is no way a heterosexual place like this could exist.
It was a real eye opener for me and I had really no opinion before working there, but now the lifestyle makes me sick.

I don't know if this link is against the forum rules or not, maybe a mod can check it. It is a link for cruising for gay sex. Here is it. (http://www.squirt.org/)

Yes, these people do exist. There are also swingers in the heterosexual community (they get cool cruises and resorts) and there are child pornogrpahers (cracked down on). Not every gay man turns a public park bathroom into a swinger party though.

[Cleopatra]

My job has to do with people. I have met very interesting men and very interesting male colleagues.

I have learned things from them, I have shared feelings and ideas, they have come to my house, I have visited theirs. We have laughted together , I have cried in their arms when I was feeling sad.They have opened to me professional doors, they have shared with me their professional experience.

With a couple of them I became closer, meaning I had a relationship.

For the rest of them, I am sorry, I don't know, I forgot to ask them whether they sleep with men or women :)

Oh BTW. When I say to friends that a dream date for me is Tom Ford , Yves Saint Laurent's designer, they reply that he is a gay...

No, he is a very desirable MAN that when it comes to sex he prefers men to women but still I'd love to cook for him for dinner, in front of my fireplace and talk about the influence of the Art of Rennaisance in Fashion...ahhhh... to dream is for free...

...devastated by the fact that Her Majesty is charmed by a Texan but yet, it's true!

[Skeptical Greg]

Originally posted by Brooklyn Dodger
I've got no problem with gays at all. I used to make loads of money smuggling gerbils into San Francisco during the 1980s when that was the craze.


The joy of Pepsi... Scratch one more keyboard....

[Mercutio]

The vast majority in this thread claim (and I have no reason to doubt) no bad feelings toward gays. And yet, I see in other threads (sometimes even the titles of the threads themselves) using homosexuality as an implied or overt insult. If I'm being vague, it is because I don't want to name names--I don't think it is mean-hearted (with at least one notable exception), and is often quite funny. How does that fit with the expressed attitudes of this thread? If people have no problem with homosexuality, then why is it the insult of choice?

[Victor Danilchenko]

An insult is insulting not just because the insulter thinks so, but also because the insulter would think the insultee to find it insulting. Homosexuality being insulting is such an ingrained part of our culture that even those who personally don't find anything wrong with it, will use it an an insult -- and also find it insulting, not the homosexuality per se but the implied desire to insult. Yes, this is hypocritical, and yes, this perpetuates homophopbia; but it's not necessarily at odds with lacking prejudice towards homosexuality.

For the record, I am bisexual, and haven't the slightest problem with homosexuality.

[Cleopatra]

Mercutio very interesting point. Where I live now, when they want to imply that you play dirty they call you a Jew... but I happen to know that in this very country, thousands of people were tortured by the Germans for hiding Jews...

Go figure. We, people are strange....

[Mercutio]

Victor D.:"For the record, I am bisexual, and haven't the slightest problem with homosexuality."

Well, Victor, as my grand-dad used to say, that's awfully white of you.

(of course, I do not mean to say anything about you personally--that was quite a thoughtful analysis. Just agreeing with Cleo, we're a strange people. I find my grand-dad's comment offensive, he thought nothing of it. Just an expression. I wonder how long...)

[Hellcat]

Is this topic 'What do you think about gays?' in general talking about presumably all gays or is it just focusing on gay males only?

[Brooklyn Dodger]

Originally posted by Hellcat
Is this topic 'What do you think about gays?' in general talking about presumably all gays or is it just focusing on gay males only?

So far it's mostly about males. I don't think guys care much what women do together anyway.

I subscribe to the Al Bundy Doctrine: "It's OK if two women have sex together as long as they let a guy watch."

[Blue Monk]

Originally posted by Victor Danilchenko
For the record, I am bisexual, and haven't the slightest problem with homosexuality.

I couldn't be bisexual as I could stand rejection from everybody, hehe.

All kidding aside,

For the record, I am hetrosexual, and haven't the slightest problem with homosexuality.

I long ago learned that the only true measure of an individual is what is in their hearts. I don't think homosexuality is a sin, a perversion or abnormal in any way.

It makes as much sense to declare all left-handed people as degenerates because they aren't 'normal.'

For me, homophobia has always been the ultimate idiot test. It never ceases to amaze me the amount of energy and hyperbole goes into this issue.

My advice to anyone who has a problem with homosexuality is to make sure your next sexual partner is of the opposite sex. Exercise your right to live your life as you see fit. Please have the courtesy to respect everyone elses right to do the same.

"The Evils of Homosexuality!" Boy, talk about your tempest in a teascup.

[Pyrrho]

I don't think about gays at all. It's none of my business.

[FFed]

Originally posted by Dancing David

Hey: it is a fact that the vast majority of child molestors are hetero, so why don't we go and condem straights!



I condem all child molestors. I never said otherwise.


I think that the men who are scared of homosexuals are scared because they are afraid of being treated the way they treat women.
That may be, but not me.

[FFed]

Originally posted by corplinx


Yes, these people do exist. There are also swingers in the heterosexual community (they get cool cruises and resorts) and there are child pornogrpahers (cracked down on). Not every gay man turns a public park bathroom into a swinger party though.
Totally different. Swinging at a private resort or cruise and having sex in public places are not the same.
Check out my previous link and you will see it is more then just a bathroom.

[QuarkChild]

Originally posted by Mercutio
The vast majority in this thread claim (and I have no reason to doubt) no bad feelings toward gays. And yet, I see in other threads (sometimes even the titles of the threads themselves) using homosexuality as an implied or overt insult. If I'm being vague, it is because I don't want to name names--I don't think it is mean-hearted (with at least one notable exception), and is often quite funny. How does that fit with the expressed attitudes of this thread? If people have no problem with homosexuality, then why is it the insult of choice?

You might be referring to the comment I made about Shakespeare's Mercutio character in the Creativity thread. I think I said, "Mercutio probably wasn't gay until WS got his pen involved" or something to that effect. I did not intend it as an insult, but now I realize that it is easily interpreted as such. The reason I said that is because the one and only thing I remember from high school English class about Mercutio is that he was supposed to be gay. I was using that one thing I remembered to hide my ignorance about the subject as a whole. I did not intend to imply that I consider it a bad thing that WS put gay characters in his work (assuming that is, in fact, true.)

My post probably did come off as implying that and I apologize. I can only assume that I was giving in to the assumptions and standards of our culture. I mean, otherwise, Mercutio, I don't understand it either! Why would I imply that gay characters are less than desirable in a play? I should know better. I *do* know better. The most incredible play I ever saw was The Judas Kiss, about the relationship between Oscar Wilde and Lord Alfred. The three main characters in it were gay. Usually I find theater kind of underwhelming, but the emotional depth of that performance left me speechless. I've never witnessed any other theatric performance that even came close. So what would I be doing insinuating that gay characters don't belong in plays?!

I was simply trying to mask the fact that I was out of my depth by making a bigoted remark. I'm sorry.

[Richard G]

Mentaly ill. Thats what I think.

[Blue Monk]

QuarkChild,

I don't think anyone would interpret your comment as bigoted. It would appear to me to be simply an observation.

[QuarkChild]

Originally posted by Blue Monk
QuarkChild,

I don't think anyone would interpret your comment as bigoted. It would appear to me to be simply an observation.

As a quote standing alone, it might not appear bigoted. The context of the thread, however, suggests that I intended it as an insult (to WS), since I was belittling WS in the thread.

A minor point. Anyway, I just trying to answer Mercutio's question about why people who profess to be open-minded use suggestions of homosexuality in a derogatory way. It's a very good question.

Perhaps homosexuality is used humorously by non-homophobes the same way any other categorization is used. For example, I tell jokes that make fun of mathematicians a lot. Physicists find these incredibly funny. Not, of course, because we have anything against mathematicians; it's just that it's entertaining to make fun of the stereotypes.

(Mathematician jokes to be provided on request.)

[billydkid]

Originally posted by n FaCtOr
....just wonderin.

I don't like any expression that lumps people together in an essentially meaningless way. I think those "gays" themselves who consider themselves "gays" do themselves a disservice. You could insert any kind of categorical generality in that sentence. As an individualist the question is really meaningless.

[Mercutio]

Quarkchild, I was not in the least offended by your joke; my first reaction was to laugh out loud. Yours was not at all meanspirited, and I have seen Merc played gay, straight, female, witty, or dull as dishwater. Some of the best have been on the gay end of the spectrum. So please don't feel I meant to disparage your comment.

I have seen others who have been quite mean, repeatedly making insinuations as to others' sexuality, clearly implying that a)the person was gay, and b) there was something to be ashamed of in that. I also have not seen that person post to this thread thus far.

I find it interesting that many of us are posting our own sexual orientation in this poll. I myself got so far as writing "not that it matters, but..." and realized that if it did not in fact matter, why say it? On the other hand, I have many friends for whom their sexual identity is a huge part of their identity as a person, so perhaps "not that it matters" is a matter of taste as well.

Bottom line, QC, you are a very nice person for being concerned, but you have no offense to apologise for.
:) :) :)

[Mercutio]

BTW, Quarkchild, good point about mathematician jokes. Any profession has its jokes--the most I have seen have been musician jokes. (never jokes about one's own instrument, always the other. Ask any violist.)

[QuarkChild]

Originally posted by Mercutio
BTW, Quarkchild, good point about mathematician jokes. Any profession has its jokes--the most I have seen have been musician jokes. (never jokes about one's own instrument, always the other. Ask any violist.)

I know--my best friend is a violinist, and she has a whole repertoire of violist jokes.

("How do you make a violist play a song pianissimo tremolando ?" "Mark it 'solo.'") I'm sure that violists tell it the other way.

[Mercutio]

ah, yes...what's the difference between a violin and a viola?

a viola burns longer.

Hmmm...are these jokes just as mean in their own context? Is all humor (ok, at least the tendentious humor) mean at heart?

(sorry, that should be a new thread--back to topic)

[Blue Monk]

Originally posted by Mercutio
BTW, Quarkchild, good point about mathematician jokes. Any profession has its jokes--the most I have seen have been musician jokes. (never jokes about one's own instrument, always the other. Ask any violist.)

Don't get me started.

Did you hear about the bass player that locked his keys in the car? It took them an hour to get the drummer out.

When I was young I told my mother that when I grow up I wanted to be a musician and she said, "Well, you can't do both."

But to the issue at hand, I never see more anti-gay tripe as when I am playing games online. I am always amused when someone tries to get my goat by implying I'm gay.

If you want to get me ruffled, insinuate that I'm a Republican, hehe.

[Mercutio]

BlueMonk:"But to the issue at hand, I never see more anti-gay tripe as when I am playing games online. I am always amused when someone tries to get my goat by implying I'm gay."

That's exactly what I see here occasionally, the baiting that goes on instead of civil discourse. Perhaps that's the "chill" that Hal was talking about.

[prettygirlsmakegrave]

Here is what I, your run of the mill lesbian thinks of straights:

They like people of the opposite sex, where as I like people of the same sex. The only time I need to think more than that is when I am being insulted directly or indirectly for being homosexual. I don't think sexual orientation should be of any more import than that. However on the topic of homophobia it makes me incredibly angry. I tend to correct people if they use the word gay to be an insult. I am working on becomeing more passive about it which is hard because it hurts me alot. What angers me the most is how homophobia is a form of hatred that there aren't a large amount of people fighting against. We (members of the earth) have over come many religios and racial hatreds though we have a long way to go. I see it as though no one really cares to stop gay hatred unless they are gay, to me this is sad. Although I am sure there are exceptions.

As a side note to anyone here who uses gay as an insult I think it is ignorant. You appear uneducated and willing to pick up any random hate phrase you hear around you. Is this sounding to harsh? I am sorry if it is I mean it only as my opinion.

[Mercutio]

I agree with you PGMG...I have stopped (university) students who were complaining about some posted rule by saying "that's so gay". When I asked them whether they had thought about what they were saying, they looked at me like I had 3 eyes, said nothing, walked away. I very nearly felt guilty, like I was being chastised for being too PC. "Too PC" is the defense for being rude.

[Blue Monk]

Well said and I would like to elaborate on one point.

The straight community really does need to be more vocal and supportive of the gay community. In defense of this forum I have, on occasion, seen some speak up against specific comments but I’m afraid all to often they go unchallenged.

I will try to be a bit more sensitive in this area in the future as I feel everyone has the right to be comfortable here and while none of us can control what others may or may not say, there is certainly no reason why any of us should allow any hate related comments go unchallenged.

PS. As I write this I am wearing my favorite baseball cap from the "1997 Lezbolympix" No kidding, hehe. It is a local affair that is really just a big party but as a musician I am one of the few straight men to ever attend.

Really nifty cap too.

[QuarkChild]

Originally posted by Mercutio
I agree with you PGMG...I have stopped (university) students who were complaining about some posted rule by saying "that's so gay". When I asked them whether they had thought about what they were saying, they looked at me like I had 3 eyes, said nothing, walked away. I very nearly felt guilty, like I was being chastised for being too PC. "Too PC" is the defense for being rude.

Do you also stop people who make remarks like "I think we got gypped?"

There's a fuzzy line between being sensitive/considerate and being ...well...too PC. To be offended by a white supremacist using the N-word is natural, but to be offended by the word "niggardly" is ignorant and ludicrous. (link (http://www.larryelder.com/racial/niggardly.htm))

An unconscious derogatory use of the word gay doesn't bother me. When it's used like that, I think of it as a different word with the same sound. Just as the original meaning of 'gay' has become completely divorced from the modern usage, I think using 'gay' to mean 'lame' or 'stupid' does not reflect a judgment about gay people...any more than using the word 'lame' to mean 'stupid' is a judgment about the physically disabled.

The words 'lame,' 'gay' and 'retarded' are all used in certain contexts to refer to something perceived as stupid or annoying. I think that's relatively harmless.

[Victor Danilchenko]

Richard G

Mentaly ill. Thats what I think.Somehow, I fail to be suprised by this minor show of ignorant bigotry.

[Peach Jr.]

Originally posted by prettygirlsmakegrave
What angers me the most is how homophobia is a form of hatred that there aren't a large amount of people fighting against. We (members of the earth) have over come many religios and racial hatreds though we have a long way to go. I see it as though no one really cares to stop gay hatred unless they are gay, to me this is sad. Although I am sure there are exceptions.

As a side note to anyone here who uses gay as an insult I think it is ignorant. You appear uneducated and willing to pick up any random hate phrase you hear around you. Is this sounding to harsh? I am sorry if it is I mean it only as my opinion. [/B]

It seems as if homophobia is one of the few socially acceptable prejudices left, especially among straights. I have noticed that it doesn't seem to matter if a gay or bisexual couple are within earshot or not to these people. You are aboslutely right - it is incredibly sad. The only thing I can think of to correct this is to speak up whenever an incident/remark/comment comes up. I don't speak up myself as often as I should have in the past, but I've found that being a parent makes me a bit more bold.

(And to those who think this is being blown out of proportion, just substitute the words "black", "Hispanic", "women", etc. for the word "gay" in some of the comments you've seen on this forum. Then decide whether you would make that comment on, say, a crowded subway car, or in a shopping mall.)

Prettygirlsmakegrave, I think you were being awfully polite with your last comment. Truly.

For the record, I'm a bisexual woman who's been married and faithful for a long time (just to blast another male stereotype).

[Dancing David]

FFed, sorry I was not addressing your post specificaly but the majority opinion behind it, I should have made my statements more carefully.
I apologise I did not mean to direct those comments to you, I just happen to live in a neighborhood where the straight kids leave condom everywhere.

Peace
dancing David

[Ruby]

Originally posted by n FaCtOr
....just wonderin.

I've had two close friends who were gay. One was a guy and one a girl. I love them both and have no problem being around them. I also have a cousin who is gay and he is a sweetheart. I also know a gay couple.....they have been together for years.....and they are just great.

In all honesty, I feel more comfortable around homosexual men than heterosexual men. I'm a bit shy and gay men make me feel more at ease. I also seem to have a natural chemistry with them. I don't know why. I am a very feminine type female.

[Alaric]

Im going to come off sounding like a bigot so I had better clear something up first.
I have had gay male friends and have even gone to some of their parties with my X girlfriend. Im not a party guy so I cannot say if they were better or worse then straight parties. No clue.

Even with a history of gay friends, i STILL react badly when I first meet a homosexual. Feelings of tension or whatever-as I get to know this person, they pass. I have felt it has to do with sexual purpose. Im a hetero...whether i sleep with a woman to breed or not, my body was built for that purpose. Whatever the colour or size of the guy walking near me on the street-I know he is in the same "game" as i am...strutting his stuff in an attempt to carry on our genetics. What attracts females comes with those male drives and so on and so on.
When I meet a gay man-he ISNT in my bodies "world view". He is an alien..different. Thats my BODIES reaction. My mind gets to know him and all comes out ok but i cannot escape the fact I have a bad first reaction. Whether that gay man realizes the reaction or not-who knows. I just hope I dont scare the guy or something cuz that isnt my intent. Ive tried working on this but while I come across as a nice guy, the instant reaction is still bad.

As for hard core Lesbians, I have had nothing but bad experiences. All seem to have a huge chip on their shoulders and hate men. You will note this is MY experience and doesnt reflect on all lesbians everywhere. Whats funny is they dont direct the dislike at the girl im with(ive been called a breeder by gay guys before so.....) but instead at me.

[Tmy]

Do what ya like, as long as your not hurting anyone.

I think that some people choose the gay lifestyle and some are born into it.

[Kodiak]

I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body...

[glee]

Originally posted by FFed (bolding mine)
I used to work for a park that had a gay cruise area where literally hundreds of gays would cruise for sex each day. My fellow workers and I would always find child porn, dirty condoms, anal lube, and other sick stuff all over the place. The parks board tried to close the place down but they all cried descrimination. There is no way a heterosexual place like this could exist.
It was a real eye opener for me and I had really no opinion before working there, but now the lifestyle makes me sick.


:rolleyes:
Have you never heard of street prostitution?
Surely every US city has areas where female prostitutes hang out looking for male clients.
(In London, there's one round the back of Kings Cross station.)
I can't be bothered to get you a cite showing how many prostitutes use drugs, but there's a clear link.

[Sundog]

Originally posted by Alaric

As for hard core Lesbians, I have had nothing but bad experiences. All seem to have a huge chip on their shoulders and hate men. You will note this is MY experience and doesnt reflect on all lesbians everywhere. Whats funny is they dont direct the dislike at the girl im with(ive been called a breeder by gay guys before so.....) but instead at me.

My wife is beautiful, blonde, and bisexual, and gets hit on by everyone, guys, bisexual girls, and lesbians. In our experience the lesbians are by far the pushiest and most unfriendly to me. They seem to see me strictly as competition. It's funny, guys who hit on my wife usually act very respectful to me otherwise. :D

If I was the jealous type, I'd be jealous all the time; but that's too much work.

[Mercutio]

Continuing to comment on the FFed post, and reactions to it...

Consider a society where you are forbidden to marry, any long-term relationship you might have is deemed "sick" by a vocal segment of society--might you explore other avenues? We are quick to blame the group, slow to see the situation. (BTW, that "we" is intended to include essentially all humans; social cognition researchers call the tendency to fault the actor rather than the situation the "fundamental attribution error" because it is so pervasive.)

I have heard (but am no expert, so feel free to correct this) that both pornography and prostitution grew tremendously during the repressive Victorian era. Same logic.

[Sundog]

Originally posted by Mercutio
Continuing to comment on the FFed post, and reactions to it...

Consider a society where you are forbidden to marry, any long-term relationship you might have is deemed "sick" by a vocal segment of society--might you explore other avenues?

That's an interesting theory, but if it were true I'd expect the lesbian population to be as promiscuous as the male gay population, and IMHE (In My Humble Experience) that just isn't so. Some segment of the male gay population tends to prefer a monogamous relationship, but a much larger segment is dangerously and openly promiscuous. On the lesbian side of the coin this is reversed; lesbians tend to gravitate more towards monogamous relationships.

Take with a grain of salt of course, these are only my observations.

[BillyTK]

Originally posted by QuarkChild
An unconscious derogatory use of the word gay doesn't bother me. When it's used like that, I think of it as a different word with the same sound. Just as the original meaning of 'gay' has become completely divorced from the modern usage, I think using 'gay' to mean 'lame' or 'stupid' does not reflect a judgment about gay people...any more than using the word 'lame' to mean 'stupid' is a judgment about the physically disabled.

The words 'lame,' 'gay' and 'retarded' are all used in certain contexts to refer to something perceived as stupid or annoying. I think that's relatively harmless.


Although language is dynamic and meanings change across time and geography, I don't see how unconscious use of an insult (where the meaning has become detached from the original perjorative usage of the word) could ever be harmless when its negative usage came about in the first place because of judgemental attitudes to certain groups of people. Maybe this is acceptable when the original phrase is redundant--such as is the case with lame or retard--but not in the case of the word gay. Not that I'm suggesting that the usage of the word should be restricted, but that people should be sensitive in its usage.

For instance, one of my close friends is visually impaired (no, I'm not being PC here, but to be medically blind is to be with no vision, and my friend has some, albeit not enough to be of any use). So when I'm around him I've got to be careful about not being "sightist" in my language, because at best it's irrelevant to him ("Look over there!" or "It's the red cup,") and at worst it's insulting ("Don't you see what I'm saying?" or "She's as blind as a bat,").

[Frostbite]

Gay as in happy? I have no problem with happy people. A little jaelous, perhaps.

[Mercutio]

Sundog--good point. My own experience (that is, friends, neighbors, colleagues and students) has been of fairly stable, fairly long-term relationships in gay, lesbian and hetero couples--even one fairly stable lesbian trio. But last time I checked the statistics (a number of years ago now) they backed you up.

The only rejoinder I see is that there has always been a different acceptance of homosexuality in men versus women.

As an anecdote with a little bit of data, one of my students was fascinated by the topic of various pairings in pornography. His thesis, which was supported by a small sample of both men and women, was that his [hetero] sample preferred, in order, boy-girl, girl-girl, and then waaaaaay below that, boy-boy [to use the industry terms]. He was, himself, turned on by lesbian scenes, and found that his women friends were as well. He wondered if they were also turned on by gay male scenes; as a rule, they were not. His analysis focused on social roles mostly, and to a much lesser extent, the physical nature of the acts.

So perhaps the societal shunning is different for the two groups.

[Sundog]

Originally posted by Mercutio

As an anecdote with a little bit of data, one of my students was fascinated by the topic of various pairings in pornography. His thesis, which was supported by a small sample of both men and women, was that his [hetero] sample preferred, in order, boy-girl, girl-girl, and then waaaaaay below that, boy-boy [to use the industry terms]. He was, himself, turned on by lesbian scenes, and found that his women friends were as well. He wondered if they were also turned on by gay male scenes; as a rule, they were not. His analysis focused on social roles mostly, and to a much lesser extent, the physical nature of the acts.

So perhaps the societal shunning is different for the two groups.

This is fairly universal. Hmm, how shall I put this - I have known many people who were into swinging, and almost universally, anything goes BUT sex between two males. In fact I have never encountered a counterexample. I mean, I'll bet my friends have never encountered a counterexample.