Baby Jesus Talks!

[Kitten]

Here at school I'm taking a course on Arabic culture. As part of this course we're learning about Islam and the Koran. Currently, I'm writing a paper for this class comparing certain stories in the Bible with the same stories in the Koran. I was just reading the Koranic version of Mary (Maryam) and the baby Jesus's birth.

Jesus talks in this version! In the translation I'm working from, the story goes:

"But she [Maryam] pointd to the babe. They [the visitors] said: 'How can we talk to one who is a child in the cradle?'

He [the baby Jesus!] said: 'I am indeed a servant of Allah: He hath given me revelation and made me a Prophet. And He hath made me blessed wheresover I be. And hath enjoined on me prayer and charity as long as I live. He hath made me kind to my mother, and not overbearing or miserable. So Peace is on me, the day I was born, the day that I die, and the day that I shall be raised up to life again!' "

Does the baby FSM talk, too, I wonder?

Anyhow, I had to share this.

Kitten

[TragicMonkey]

That's quite a speech from somebody with no teeth. I wonder if he said all this in Arabic, and how bad a lisp is in that language?

[Paul C. Anagnostopoulos]

The baby Jesus had teeth. Eventually they all turned into spaghetti strands.

~~ Paul

[Zep]

Maybe he wrote it down instead... ;)

[kittynh]

He [the baby Jesus!] said: '......... He hath made me kind to my mother, and not overbearing or miserable......"



Kitten


Wow! So He was never a teenager?

[clarsct]

By definition, he couldn't have been, now could he? Jesus has always been, and always will be, world and time without end.

Right?

[Kitten]

That's quite a speech from somebody with no teeth. I wonder if he said all this in Arabic, and how bad a lisp is in that language?

A lisp in Arabic would be QUITE funny.

When I have a headcold, I pronounce some of my Arabic letters better.

[Beerina]

Sounds like proof the mind is not instantiated by the brain, but just uses it to connect to the real world, as well as some auxiliary processing power and storage. Such an immature brain could never power a highly functioning adult mind.

Ergo, finally, proof of the dualist position. How long have peeople been hiding this knowledge from philosophers?

[TragicMonkey]

Sounds like proof the mind is not instantiated by the brain, but just uses it to connect to the real world, as well as some auxiliary processing power and storage. Such an immature brain could never power a highly functioning adult mind.

Ergo, finally, proof of the dualist position. How long have peeople been hiding this knowledge from philosophers?

Unless Jesus was the exception. He was 1/2 non-human, after all. Perhaps God's species doesn't have the same kind of brain we do. Maybe Jesus was a different type of organism, perhaps an energy creature that projected an illusion of human form, or maybe he was a colony organism made up of millions of smaller organisms that shared the thinking between them all. That would explain the Last Supper when he shared his blood, because he was infecting the Apostles with sentient pieces of himself. If any of them spread the infection, Jesus might still be around today. He might even be...in YOU! And the Second Coming will be when the Jesus virus wakes up and takes over millions of people all at once.

[supercorgi]

Maybe Jesus was a different type of organism, perhaps an energy creature that projected an illusion of human form, or maybe he was a colony organism made up of millions of smaller organisms that shared the thinking between them all. That would explain the Last Supper when he shared his blood, because he was infecting the Apostles with sentient pieces of himself.
Cool! Sounds like multiple Star Trek episodes I've seen. Especially the original Trek -- they were always running into those energy creatures! :D

[bruto]

Been a long time since I read it, but if you can scrounge up a copy of the New Testament Apocrypha you'll find more of the prodigious and rather creepy little Jesus. Nasty stuff as I remember it. A scary kid to have around.

[CFLarsen]

Here at school I'm taking a course on Arabic culture. As part of this course we're learning about Islam and the Koran. Currently, I'm writing a paper for this class

and apparently not writing another paper. :p

Wow! So He was never a teenager?

Hmmm....a teenager (hormones and stuff) with supernatural powers? Sounds like a really bad idea!

Unless Jesus was the exception. He was 1/2 non-human, after all.

A David Icke'ian reptilian, perhaps??

[Beerina]

Unless Jesus was the exception. He was 1/2 non-human, after all. Perhaps God's species doesn't have the same kind of brain we do. Maybe Jesus was a different type of organism, perhaps an energy creature that projected an illusion of human form, or maybe he was a colony organism made up of millions of smaller organisms that shared the thinking between them all. That would explain the Last Supper when he shared his blood, because he was infecting the Apostles with sentient pieces of himself. If any of them spread the infection, Jesus might still be around today. He might even be...in YOU! And the Second Coming will be when the Jesus virus wakes up and takes over millions of people all at once.

Ahhh, but you're conflating mythologies. In Islam, is Jesus a demigod? Or just a normal, if special, human?

[Loon]

Thus is materialism refuted.