What's the craziest thing you've ever heard/read a fundy/believerinparanormal say? [Archive]

CACTUSJACKmankin

27th January 2006, 11:51 AM

The subject says it all. I have several.
This is probably #1!!!
Believe it or not, you were perfect when you were born. You were obviously healthy if you are posting here today, you hadn't sinned, and were making choices and using your free will, though they were small choices. Unfortunately, later in your life you made some bad choices and now you are a sinner, but remember, God MADE you perfect.

One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it.

This is a contender for second place:
One time I was in an AOL chat room debating evolution/creation and a guy actually said to the effect of "God made dionosaurs, so they would die, and become gasoline for our gas tanks!"

fishbait

27th January 2006, 12:02 PM

fishbait

27th January 2006, 12:06 PM

"That same week, I was away on vacation in a terrible thunderstorm. I was hit by lightening that traveled under ground. I became pregnant that night. (yes, I know the day) My Dr said the lightening fixed my hormonal problem. Yes I did praise God and still do everytime I look in my DD's eyes. He does answer prayer."

Chris Haynes

27th January 2006, 12:26 PM

That when the three Spanish ships with Christopher Columbus arrived on an island in the Americas the native Carib Indians literally did not see them... because they had never seen ships before.

[incredulous mode]
They were on an ISLAND!!! They used canoes that could hold up to 80 people to go from one island to the next!
[/incredulous mode]

This was related to me by a relative who saw it in the "What the bleep" movie... with the explanation that if it was in a movie that made her feel happy it must be true.

Bone_Vulture

27th January 2006, 12:39 PM

This was related to me by a relative who saw it in the "What the bleep" movie... with the explanation that if it was in a movie that made her feel happy it must be true.

The same movie revealed that you can walk on water if you really really
believe that it's possible. :rolleyes:

Basilio

27th January 2006, 12:48 PM

Back in college, I had friends who worked at a Pizza Hut one summer, and a high school grad (girl) had the hots for a college freshman who was a member of Maranatha (?). She was hot for his bod, and was willing to be "born again" to be with him. Well, then there was no sex (as far as I know) and then she turned down a scholarship in music therapy to the Frigin UNIVERSTIY OF MICHIGAN! Why? Because, as she told me, "God hadn't told me to accept it!" I wish I had scholarships to turn down!

sesmo_k

27th January 2006, 12:56 PM

Ririon

27th January 2006, 01:03 PM

I had a friend at university whose parents believe that Jesus was born out of the Virgin Marys ear...
OUCH! :eek:

brodski

27th January 2006, 01:12 PM

slightly different from the tone of the other posts, but my favorite woo story is from when I was working in the theater.

One particular director was a real pain, and often got into arguments with the technical staff over what was physically possible to do with the set.
Anyway, during one argument she turned to a designer and said;
"what star sign are you"
"um, Capricorn I think"
"well, I'm Capricorn too, so you can't argue with me, because that's just like you are arguing with yourself"
With that the director stormed off, while the designers jaw hit the floor.

Psiload

27th January 2006, 01:13 PM

Anti_Hypeman

27th January 2006, 01:16 PM

Psiload

27th January 2006, 01:19 PM

"Miraculously, no one in the other car was hurt, but I had a bad concussion, a bruised rib, cracked kneecap, torn tendon in my neck, some bad bruises, and what the paramedics thought might be a ruptured spleen. I had post concussion syndrome for about 10 months after, and still get some migraines related to the accident.

I know God had a hand in it, because there were so many things that could have gone wrong. He truly is all powerful!"

I once saw an interview with a young girl who had been horribly wounded during the horrific massacre at Columbine High. She was asked, "Why do you think you were shot?"

Her reply:

"Because God knew I was strong enough to survive."

She actually said that. I ***** you not.

Chris Haynes

27th January 2006, 01:44 PM

Then there is this very nice lady on Usenet who keeps posting her theory of why people have problems. I was very irritated with her when she tried to convince some parents that their child's seizures were caused by someone thinking of their child while under the influence of "stimulent".

Here is her formal paper: http://www.sciencepub.org/nature/0302/03-michael.pdf

and here is the FAQ used by the Crohn's support group to allay the fears of their new members:
http://www.newtreatments.org/loadlocal.php?hid=571

Jimbo07

27th January 2006, 02:13 PM

That when the three Spanish ships with Christopher Columbus arrived on an island in the Americas the native Carib Indians literally did not see them... because they had never seen ships before.

What's the original source of this, because my Dad told me about it long before the movie came out?

How about something to the effect of:
Regarding Quantum Mechanics - The act of measurement has some strange QM characteristic or ramification. Measurement is an act of consciousness. Therefore, consciousness has some strange QM characteristic or ramification. And so, we can program the universe, create our own reality, etc.

Gee, call my understanding of QM limited, but isn't getting trapped in a potential well akin to measurement? Aren't particles 'out there' measuring each other all the time without conscious thought? What about the Correspondence Principle? Perhaps somebody with a significantly more advanced knowledge of QM than my junior-level QM instructor can illuminate me?

(Actually, if you listened carefully, this was alluded to in that bleepin' movie. I got the feeling that some of those speakers were being quoted out of context).

Withnail

27th January 2006, 02:18 PM

"If I don't believe in death, I won't die"

A friend of mine came up with this while suffering from a nasty hangover. After his suffering had ended it still sounded good to him. I noted he still seemed to believe in eating, drinking (water), and breathing, which were all unneeded now that he had the power of mind over matter. I finally told him what he really meant to tell himself was "If I don't drink too much, I won't feel like hell." Oddly, he said that was a bunch of crap.

Chris Haynes

27th January 2006, 02:22 PM

What's the original source of this, because my Dad told me about it long before the movie came out?

....

I have absolutely no idea. I spent about a third of my youth in Panama and Venezuela. The latter required kids in the American school to get a set amount of Venezuelan history and geography. The discovery of the Americas by Cristobal Colon was covered extensively, along with the resulting genocide of the Carib and other native peoples of the area. There was absolutely no mention of them not seeing the ships.

I even did a google search of Caribean history, and while there is archeological evidence of them having large canoes, and trading with lots of other people (including pre-columbian gold stuff)... I could not find any kind of original source.

Maybe you'll have to go to Yelm, WA and ask Ramtha.

ChristineR

27th January 2006, 02:26 PM

What's the original source of this, because my Dad told me about it long before the movie came out?

How about something to the effect of:
Regarding Quantum Mechanics - The act of measurement has some strange QM characteristic or ramification. Measurement is an act of consciousness. Therefore, consciousness has some strange QM characteristic or ramification. And so, we can program the universe, create our own reality, etc.

Gee, call my understanding of QM limited, but isn't getting trapped in a potential well akin to measurement? Aren't particles 'out there' measuring each other all the time without conscious thought? What about the Correspondence Principle? Perhaps somebody with a significantly more advanced knowledge of QM than my junior-level QM instructor can illuminate me?

(Actually, if you listened carefully, this was alluded to in that bleepin' movie. I got the feeling that some of those speakers were being quoted out of context).

You can do QM without the "measurement effects the data" stuff. Basically, a particle is in a probability state, and you cannot predict exactly where it is until you measure it directly. If you do measure its location, you cannot similtaneously measure the velocity. But all this can be thought of as just what happens when you measure anything that's moving around randomly (but still within a fairly strict set of rules).

Other particles can put the particle in a different state, with a different probability distribution. There's no magic there. It doesn't violate the uncertainty principle because you've just changed the range of the particle from one set to another.

Even if you accept the "measurement" hypothesis, you don't get to control where the particle is. You just restrict it one point in its probable range. You can do the exact same thing twice in a row and not get the same measurement.

The theory is that a particle whose motion is covered by probability distributions is not actually anywhere unless its measured. That is, its 40% over there and 10% over here, and 50% back there. It's interesting philosophically, but it really doesn't change the physics one bit just to say "its 100% somewhere, but only 50% that somewhere means back there."

Psiload

27th January 2006, 02:32 PM

I have absolutely no idea. I spent about a third of my youth in Panama and Venezuela. The latter required kids in the American school to get a set amount of Venezuelan history and geography. The discovery of the Americas by Cristobal Colon was covered extensively, along with the resulting genocide of the Carib and other native peoples of the area. There was absolutely no mention of them not seeing the ships.

I even did a google search of Caribean history, and while there is archeological evidence of them having large canoes, and trading with lots of other people (including pre-columbian gold stuff)... I could not find any kind of original source.

Maybe you'll have to go to Yelm, WA and ask Ramtha. The kook who offered that gem in the movie, by way of a reference, prefaced it with the following...

"A story that's told, and I'd like to believe it's true..."

Barf.

TV's Frank

27th January 2006, 02:32 PM

"Amen."

tube

27th January 2006, 02:41 PM

Jimbo07

27th January 2006, 02:44 PM

Even if you accept the "measurement" hypothesis, you don't get to control where the particle is. You just restrict it one point in its probable range. You can do the exact same thing twice in a row and not get the same measurement.

Isn't it more precise to say that given a set of experiments with similar initial and boundary conditions, that there is a certain probability of getting the same measurement every time?

Regardless, I agree with the first statement. As I understand it, we have no prior control (we'd have a degree of control in establishing an artificial well, etc.).

My point was that, with only an undergraduate level understanding (and that mostly from a materials perspective), I don't see how the 'we can communicate telepathically' is justified using QM, and that's what worries me. None of the profs in our department have trotted out the QM woo, but I'm not sure how to evaluate other PhDs.

kevin

27th January 2006, 02:54 PM

Chris Haynes

27th January 2006, 03:12 PM

I was working on site for a client and over lunch one day he talked about how miraculous it was that just at the time that europe was turning from the catholic church, the spanish came to South America and all the people there converted to catholism when they landed.

Changed a conversion by force into a miracle of god. Too bad that smallpox thing killed so many of them off.

I think one estimate was that about 97% of the population was killed off ([u]People and Plagues[/b] by McNeill is where I think I got that statistic).

Oh, and not only that... the natives were turned into slaves and literally worked to death (which was why the Spanish imported slaves from Africa). Plus, if that was not enough, they would bring in large dogs trained to attack at the throat.

I recently saw the movie "Aguirre: Wrath of God", even though it was completely made up, it did paint a fairly accurate picture of how the Indians were treated.

By the way, our Venezuelan content teacher was a very nice white Venezuelan lady who basically taught the class by telling us the stuff like she was telling a story. She had a couple of textbooks written in Spanish that she referred to... but mostly is was a great hour of the day listening to her tell us these stories (including the "Yo juro" story of Bolivar vowing to Miranda in Rome that he would kick the Spanish out of South America... one reason being that the Spanish gave privileges to people not only to what "race" they were, but also to where they were born. It seems that Bolivar had fewer rights than someone born in Spain). Must have worked... I still remember much of this stuff after over thirty five years!

Dark Jaguar

27th January 2006, 03:17 PM

I've heard a number of things when taught science in private schools. Namely, I have found in retrospect that the chief thing they depend on to get the kids convinced in the invalidity of evolution is to competely and totally misrepresent the evidence of evolution and the claims of evolution. It was years before I finally figured out that no, scientists aren't going around picking up shards of a skull and constructing an entire never before seen creature from that single shard.

But the truly craziest thing I've ever heard?

Hmm...

Recently, someone told me that "logical thinking is invalid" or something similar.

Disco

27th January 2006, 03:43 PM

One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it.

Ah yes, just recently voted Post of the Year at FSTDT!

http://www.fstdt.com/

MHB

PixyMisa

27th January 2006, 03:51 PM

Jimbo07

27th January 2006, 03:56 PM

That's as good an answer as any I've seen. :)

Frankly, if our Omniscient, Omnipotent, Omnipresent Creator (OOOC) has any sort of chops or claim to our reverence, then said OOOC should be able to solve intractable problems with ease.

:boggled:

amazing01

27th January 2006, 03:57 PM

I have heard a boat-load of crazy things from these nut-jobs, but these are my two favorites.

"There were no dinosours. I don't know what those bones are in the museums.....maybe someone just made them out of something, but the bible doen't mention them, therefore, they never existed."

"I don't care if the bible was written in Japanese.....I could still read it and understand it and get God's message."

What can I say guys, you can't fix stupidity. BTW, I just sat through that "What the Bleep" movie.....my wife talked me into watching it. She baited me in with talk of science and testing and what not. After seeing it, I told her that I was interested in the going back in time thing. I said I really hope that this is true and you can travel back in time, because I wanted to go back and recover that hour and a half of my life that I spent watching that flaming piece of crap.

Cheers, Mike

geni

27th January 2006, 04:02 PM

hmm I think the one where someone accused shaneK of sucking up to the goverment was pretty good.

The secret soviet space lanches claim was amuseing

The claim that the moon rock was brough back by brorowed UFOs was novel.

Ceritus

27th January 2006, 04:15 PM

My ex-fiance said, I can't be with you or allow you to see your child when its born because you don't believe in God and I need a more christian man to be with. So she sleeps with the christian man and dumps me but I am gonna still fight for my unborn kid!

gavqt

27th January 2006, 04:19 PM

I remember in high school pestering a fundamentalist kid named Monte. Since I was too ignorant of the Bible to ask more tricky questions, I had to resort to the simple classics; "Monte, if God is all-powerful, could he make a rock so big he couldn't lift it?"

Answer; "He could make that rock and he could lift it"

Of course he can.

Alll he has to do is:
Create a rock of a certain weight (say a ton)
Redefine the nature of deity such that he is no longer omnipowerful
Show that he can't lift it
Redefine the nature of deity back again

Easy.

I expect there a few logical or theological holes in that, but hey, I just now made it up.

BTW, don't get me wrong - I think there are lots of reasons why the bible is a load of wibble. It's just that that one might have an answer.

Anti_Hypeman

27th January 2006, 04:24 PM

George W Bush during his interview tonight

"I don't think the president can order torture"

Jeff Corey

27th January 2006, 05:27 PM

I've been pondering this a while, but I think that one example was when my daughter was 6 or 7, she asked me if there were devils in the ground. And I asked why she asked. She said that her playmates had told her that when you tripped and fell, it was because the devils in the ground made that happen. So I asked her what she thought. She replied that you just fell down.

Mongrel

27th January 2006, 05:31 PM

My 'classics' are

The "Playing Dungeons and Dragons makes you a Satanist (http://www.chick.com/articles/dnd.asp)" essay. It was my first "WTF are they thinking!! Are they actually serious?!?" moment on the internet after having played D&D and other games for 14 years..and not learning any spells :(

And this gem (front (http://www.clas.ufl.edu/users/jmeert/front.jpg), back (http://www.clas.ufl.edu/users/jmeert/back.jpg)) from Kent 'Dr Dino' Hovind (Thanks to Pandas Thumb (http://pandasthumb.org/))

Bone_Vulture

27th January 2006, 05:42 PM

And this gem (front (http://www.clas.ufl.edu/users/jmeert/front.jpg), back (http://www.clas.ufl.edu/users/jmeert/back.jpg)) from Kent 'Dr Dino' Hovind (Thanks to Pandas Thumb (http://pandasthumb.org/))

"Scientists have theorized that the T-Rex could probably breathe fire". Honestly, what the hell?

Amapola

27th January 2006, 05:50 PM

kevin

27th January 2006, 05:56 PM

Dogdoctor

27th January 2006, 06:08 PM

There was this book I read that said "orgon" energy was released by orgasms and flying saucers were flying out of a hole in the center of earth, the opening located at the north pole scooping up this orgon thereby depleting us of it and causing other harm. The government was covering up the presence of the flying saucers and the whole in the north pole and the existence or orgon. The existence of orgon was originally suspected by Wilhelm Reich and all his writings were banned because of this cover up.

tsg

27th January 2006, 06:20 PM

Jeff Corey

27th January 2006, 06:32 PM

The silliest thing I have ever heard is the Mormon belief that god came from the planet Kolob. (This is why there is a "Kolob" national forest in UT.) As a kid, I thought - "A supposedly all-knowing, all powerful being came from a planet up in the sky. RIGHT." As an adult I still find it remarkable silly.
Actually, the natives spell it Kcollab, which is Ballock backwards.

BracesForImpact

27th January 2006, 06:51 PM

I was once told in a chat room by a creationist that if water really eroded bedrock (I was using the Grand Canyon as an example) that Niagra falls would have cut it's way entirely through the earth, cutting it in half.

I win. :D

Iamme

27th January 2006, 06:51 PM

Actually, the natives spell it Kcollab, which is Ballock backwards.

Not quite, Jeff. Look again. :)

Jeff Corey

27th January 2006, 06:53 PM

Never underestimate the power of the Wayback Machine.

Whydoe

27th January 2006, 06:57 PM

I've actually met adults who still believe that the sound of the ocean is trapped inside sea shells. When I show them that the same thing happens when you put a normal glass to their ear, I've actually heard them say, "Whoa! Where'd you get that glass from!?"

Amapola

27th January 2006, 07:15 PM

Never underestimate the power of the Wayback Machine.

That Wayback Machine is pretty awesome....... :D

Iamme

27th January 2006, 07:26 PM

amazing01

27th January 2006, 07:53 PM

Oh yeah, just remembered. When I worked at a science fiction/comic book/gaming store someone left a Jack Chick tract on the door about the evils of gaming. I've still got it somewhere -- it was hilarious, proabaly not what Jack inteded though.

Those Chick tracts are great, aren't they?!!! I have a collection of them! They are so ridiculous that you can't imagine that some people take them seriously. I like to customize them.....shoot, give me a few Chick tracts, an ink pen, and some white-out and I am good for HOURS!!!!! LOL!!! That is what you call free entertainment!!! Yes, I am easily amused. LOL!

Cheers, Mike

Jeff Corey

27th January 2006, 08:11 PM

The Wayback machine? You come up with some stuff, sometimes, causing me to go on wild goose chases. :) Do you know I just got through trying to research Kcollab (something to do with rock singers!), and then Ballock...to no avail? Nothing about no planet. LOL. But I did come up with something for the wayback machine. Here:

http://www.archive.org/web/web.php
The Wayback machine came from Mr. Peabody and his boy, a feature that ran along with Rockey and His Friends (later, the Bullwinkle Show). With the Wayback machine, you could go back in time to change things.
Ballock is the singular of "ballocks", a British expression that cannot be translated here.
As in, "Ballocks said the Queen, if I had two, I'd be King."

Starthinker

27th January 2006, 08:18 PM

A certain nameless person (mainly because I can't remember it at the moment) once told me that bigfoot, a transdimensional being, sometimes materializes over railway tracks at the very moment a train is there, and proof of this is that sometimes a train will stop and there will be an unidentified bloody mass around the front of it. He also claimed bigfoot was afraid of cameras. So I asked him why a powerful creature that is afraid of cameras would materialize in front of a moving train he replied, "to commit suicide."

Oh, the stuff this guy would say about bigfoot.

Amapola

27th January 2006, 08:26 PM

Here you go, Iamme - from the Wikipedia: Kolob (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kolob). I did not realize anyone would be interested. There are other sites too, some by the Mormon church. I think this one explains the whole thing much more clearly. :boggled: If a concept like this could ever be said to be "clear".

Ladewig

27th January 2006, 11:20 PM

When I play the name the craziest thing game, I like to divide it up into different categories, such as thing you heard in person and thing you've read about on the internet.

For the first category, a cow-orker once told me that if one has a fever, one can draw the illness out of one's body by placing raw bacon on one's forehead. She even said that when the bacon turns black, it has worked.

For the internet, I'd have to go with the higher levels of Scientology, e.g. Operating Thetans above level VII have power over energy, mass, life, and death.

Pastor Bentonit

28th January 2006, 02:06 AM

No contest.

"Women voting gives too much power to control men. I don't think God ever intended for women to have both the vote and boobs. That is just too much power in the hands of the weaker vessel."

...taken from Draining the Pool of Pisery (http://www.christianforums.com/showthread.php?p=18883531&postcount=12), the classic Clirus post on Christianforums. You simply can´t make up stuff like that. :D :D

Pastor Bentonit

28th January 2006, 03:23 AM

...a cow-orker once told me...
Hrmm, what´s a cow-orker?! ;)

brodski

28th January 2006, 03:30 AM

The Wayback machine came from Mr. Peabody and his boy, a feature that ran along with Rockey and His Friends (later, the Bullwinkle Show). With the Wayback machine, you could go back in time to change things.
Ballock is the singular of "ballocks", a British expression that cannot be translated here.
As in, "Ballocks said the Queen, if I had two, I'd be King."

except that the word (officially used as a nickname for a Bishop) is spelled with an o, not an a.

Beady

28th January 2006, 03:50 AM

The first time I heard about the 6,000 year old earth I was floored. ... I was in awe and had to rush online to verify it. Did anybody actually believe this stuff? I found the answer and just starred at it in intellectual shock.

(shrug) I grew up believing it. Matter of fact, when I was 10 or so, I got a book thrown out of the church library 'cause it said something about our ancestors swinging down from the trees.

So, the first time you heard about the 6,000 year-old earth was so recently that you could check it out online? That would have been in about the last 15 years. People have believed in the biblical account for a lot longer than that. Frankly, I am shocked and awed that a modern education could apparently so totally neglect a major belief system.

a_unique_person

28th January 2006, 04:09 AM

That stupid numbers trick that fundies do. Eg, the letters of the alphabet each have a number, add up the letters of a word, and, by golly, its, 666, the mark of the beast, or 7, or 3. The amazing part is they can do that for hours.

Bone_Vulture

28th January 2006, 04:46 AM

To the internet category, from fstdt.com. (http://www.fstdt.com/bottom.asp?month=12&year=2003#5628)

"more and more it is seeming to be the Evolutionists... [are] just changing the theory again to match what they have found rather than just stopping..... and rather than letting the theory dictate the facts let the facts dictate the theory."

Mid

28th January 2006, 04:50 AM

(shrug) I grew up believing it. Matter of fact, when I was 10 or so, I got a book thrown out of the church library 'cause it said something about our ancestors swinging down from the trees.

So, the first time you heard about the 6,000 year-old earth was so recently that you could check it out online? That would have been in about the last 15 years. People have believed in the biblical account for a lot longer than that. Frankly, I am shocked and awed that a modern education could apparently so totally neglect a major belief system.

I think most if not all people have heard of the biblical creation story. However the actual placing of a number on the age of the creation story is more of a fundamentalist belief; I know I never heard about it as a kid and I went to Methodist Sunday school for a number of years and got the standard religious assemblies, RE etc. at school.

Having said that I had heard of Bishop (what’s his name) that calculated that age and had found out about young Earth creationist beliefs long before I got onto the web. Still, the point of my post is that I think depending on where you live it would be quite easy to have never have heard about this belief.

Robaato

28th January 2006, 04:59 AM

I used to follow the Nibiru/Planet X fooforaw on the Bad Astronomy Bulletin board. Phil had a link at the top of the Planet X forum that led to an MP3 of Nancy Lieder (of ZetaTalk (http://www.zetatalk.com) fame) doing an interview with an L.A. radio station.

She talked about how once Planet X passes by, and the earth's poles flip, life would be so hard that people would resort to eating their (formerly) beloved pets, so it would be easier on them and their owners if they had them put down before the close encounter.

The radio jocks asked her if she had already put down her dogs.

She then began pontificating about how it was just a shot, an injection, they didn't feel any pain, they just went to sleep.

The DJs were horrified.

After they got off the phone with her, one of them commented something to the effect of, "The crazy ones are fun to play around with until they just turn on you."

Anti_Hypeman

28th January 2006, 06:38 AM

Jeff Corey

28th January 2006, 06:42 AM

except that the word (officially used as a nickname for a Bishop) is spelled with an o, not an a.
My dictionary refers to both spellings and says it derives from Old English "beallucus".

brodski

28th January 2006, 06:57 AM

My dictionary refers to both spellings and says it derives from Old English "beallucus".

the O spelling is much more common. The reference to bollocks meaning "bishop" (or priest) came from the defense that the sex pistols mounted against obscenity charges for their album "never mind the bollocks... here's the sex pistols". They where successful in their defense because of this definition. Therefore officially in the UK, the primary meaning of "bollocks" refers to a member of the clergy.

CACTUSJACKmankin

28th January 2006, 07:23 AM

I think this should be a Darwin Awards candidate. Some of you may have heard about this story a few months back.
Pastor Electrocuted While Performing Baptism (www.kxii.com/news/headlines/1932967.html)
To sum it up a Texas pastor was performing a baptism, during which he was naturally standing in water, when he adjusted his microphone and was electrocuted in front of a congregation of 800.
I never understood faith until I heard about this, imagine to have so much faith that the laws of electrical conductance don't apply to you.

edited to fix link.

Ozymandias

28th January 2006, 10:03 AM

Some random comments from people I know:
"Everything on the Internet is true!"
"It's not possible to not believe in God."
"You may not believe in God, but He believes in you."
"It's impossible to verify past life regressions."
(on a forum):
"I don't care who you're talking about, I hate evangelists like Randi." (I was talking about Isaac Asimov)
And (from FSTDT!):
This is so awesome and I have a pretty cool tesimony about being presecuted at school one day we got an assignment in oral communications and it was a persuasive presentaion to persuade people to believe the way we do well i wanted to do creationism but the teacher wouldn't let me because this guy through a fit that it offened his religion he did his on anarchism so he can go against our goverment in a goverment funded school but I can't do the theaory of creatioism so i told the teacher i would dot he seperation of church and state and I dis the myth of it instead and how peoplple twist it to take god out of eveything anyone intrested I'll email you a copy just message me and say you want and leave your email so I can send as an attachment any way I got on how our four fathers founded this country on god and the would be appailed to see it today and the pledge and did oyu know that the statement SERARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE is NOT in amendment 1 neither is it anywhere in the constituion but rather in a letter written by thomas jefferson and he was against it well if youwant to know more message me or email me my address s above this was truely awesoem and I love keeping in contact with other christians all ver he country oh did i mention a guy got saved after in the hallway at school it was sooooooo AWESOME GOD RULES because that speech and courage didn't come from me but him thank you god for that
Caitlin

My FSM....

Anti_Hypeman

28th January 2006, 10:33 AM

www.wayofthemaster.com

there are too many to list.

moopet

28th January 2006, 11:16 AM

"Scientists have theorized that the T-Rex could probably breathe fire". Honestly, what the hell?

More reliable than "over 11,000 people have reported seeing the Loch Ness"

Yes, it's a great big body of water, anyone can see it just by driving to the edge. The <i>monster</i> on the other hand, you have to walk to see, because else you'd be liable for being drunk-in-charge...

shalomsteph

28th January 2006, 11:47 AM

I had a friend at university whose parents believe that Jesus was born out of the Virgin Marys ear. Their reasoning was that good catholic girls (wasn't she a jew?!?!?!?) don't have anything to do with anything "down there".. . their words, not mine!

Believe it or not, I have heard that one, too. And yes, Mary was ORIGINALLY a Jew, as was Jesus, but they have been retroactively "Christianized."

The Mormon church routinely "Christianizes" Jews who died in the Holocaust so they won't burn in hell. How presumptious of them, eh?

shalomsteph

28th January 2006, 12:04 PM

"I feel that you have problems in your liver. Negative emotions such as hatred and jealousy are filtered through the liver, this is the function of the liver. Too much negative emotion can create blockages in the liver."

"Intuitive healer" Carolyn Myss diagnosing a patient over the telephone!

http://www.annonline.com/interviews/961015/biography.html

:jaw-dropp

Her PhD is in "energy medicine"....unfortunately, it doesn't tell us what school of higher learning she was graduated from. I can't imagine any accredited school offering such silliness....

Ladewig

28th January 2006, 12:10 PM

Hrmm, what´s a cow-orker?! ;)

"Cow-orker" is the official spelling of "co-worker" on ALT.FOLKLORE.URBAN. You'll occassionally see the word spelled that way on Snopes.com as well.

valis

28th January 2006, 12:36 PM

The police used a psychic to find the hit and run driver who hit my car.

(Me) What makes you think that they used a psychic?

Because they took some paint from the other car off of my bumper and within a few weeks they knew the make year model of the other car. How else could they have done it?

valis

28th January 2006, 12:38 PM

Hey here's another one.

I have known many adults who belive that gravity is caused by the spinning of the earth and if it stopped spinning everything would float off into space.

Babylon Sister

28th January 2006, 01:11 PM

The silliest thing I have ever heard is the Mormon belief that god came from the planet Kolob. (This is why there is a "Kolob" national forest in UT.) As a kid, I thought - "A supposedly all-knowing, all powerful being came from a planet up in the sky. RIGHT." As an adult I still find it remarkable silly.

There is no Kolob National Forest in Utah.

Sawtooth, Wasatch-Cache, Ashley, Unitah, Fishlake, Manti-LaSal and Dixie, but no Kolob.

Chris Haynes

28th January 2006, 01:49 PM

...For the internet, I'd have to go with the higher levels of Scientology, e.g. Operating Thetans above level VII have power over energy, mass, life, and death.

On www.xenu.net (http://www.xenu.net) they have a Southpark episode you can download to the an animated version of their "creation" story!

moopet

28th January 2006, 02:02 PM

Believe it or not, I have heard that one, too. And yes, Mary was ORIGINALLY a Jew, as was Jesus, but they have been retroactively "Christianized."

Christ was a Christian? Why does that make me want to laugh?

Whydoe

28th January 2006, 02:16 PM

Christ was a Christian? Does that mean he followed himself?

Amapola

28th January 2006, 02:26 PM

There is no Kolob National Forest in Utah.

Sawtooth, Wasatch-Cache, Ashley, Unitah, Fishlake, Manti-LaSal and Dixie, but no Kolob.

There is a Kolob Canyon area (http://www.americansouthwest.net/utah/zion/kolob_canyons.html) in the National Park in Zion. Sorry.

There is also a Kolob reservoir (http://www.americansouthwest.net/utah/zion/kolob_reservoir.html), a Kolob arch and an area called Kolob Fingers. These are all in the Manti La-Sal National Forest.

Dogdoctor

28th January 2006, 02:52 PM

Here is a map to Kolob http://nowscape.com/mormon/kolob1.gif

Calico

28th January 2006, 03:39 PM

I had a priest tell me one time that, in order to heal a big gash on my arm (from a nasty cat scratch), I needed to go to confession. That would heal my arm.

Then there was the nun who told us about the time Nazis came into a Polish Catholic schoolroom and ordered a nun to take the crucifix down off the wall. She refused, so the Nazi soldier pulled the crucifix down and threw it out the window... and his hand flew out with it, STILL GRIPPING THE CROSS!!!

And then there was story about the Nazi who walked up to receive communion. He took the wafer from the priest, placed it on the floor and stepped on it to show his superiority... AND THE HOST STARTED TO BLEED!!!

And then there was the time that Jesus walked into a bar... just kidding.

Never heard the one about Mary and the Ear thing.

Catholic Urban Legends... y'gotta love 'em.

Babylon Sister

28th January 2006, 04:13 PM

There is a Kolob Canyon area (http://www.americansouthwest.net/utah/zion/kolob_canyons.html) in the National Park in Zion. Sorry.

There is also a Kolob reservoir (http://www.americansouthwest.net/utah/zion/kolob_reservoir.html), a Kolob arch and an area called Kolob Fingers. These are all in the Manti La-Sal National Forest.

A nitpick I know, but National Park does not equal National Forest. They are two different agencies and are administered by two different Government Departments: Dept of Interior for Parks, Dept of Agriculture for Forests.
(I work for a National Forest and this is one of those things that really bug me.)

Beady

29th January 2006, 05:48 AM

However the actual placing of a number on the age of the creation story is more of a fundamentalist belief; I know I never heard about it as a kid and I went to Methodist Sunday school for a number of years and got the standard religious assemblies, RE etc. at school.

I *think* you meant to say "...dating the age of the earth."

Well, yes, it is a Fundie thing. However, Fundies have been around a long time, and I've always been surprised that it took so long for them to do the math. It's really not difficult; I remember I came up with a chart that showed Adam lived until sometime in the 8th generation, back when a generation was several hundred years.

BTW, according to the math, it appears Methusala, he of the 900+ year lifespan, died in the Flood. Make of that what you will.

Having said that I had heard of Bishop (what’s his name) that calculated that age and had found out about young Earth creationist beliefs long before I got onto the web. Still, the point of my post is that I think depending on where you live it would be quite easy to have never have heard about this belief.

"Inherit the Wind" opened on Broadway in 1955, became a major movie in 1960, and was first seen on TV in 1965. It was probably this last event which caused the script of the stage play to be released in book form, which I read (on my own) while in a Lutheran seminary. I then, somehow, got the school's drama club to use it in a theatrical competition with other schools. At the time, for me, it was just a well-written piece of literature, but I now date my slide into intellectual depravity from that incident.

But I digress. Point being, from 1955 on, the Creationism/Evolution debate (which inherently includes the 6k-year earth and Bishop Ussher) has been present and available in the public media (it's been on DVD since 2001).

Bone_Vulture

29th January 2006, 05:50 AM

Again, from fstdt.com. (http://www.fstdt.com/bottom.asp?month=08&year=2002#346)

The Argument from design.

Points on Earth which exhibits design.

1) Rotating Earth.
2) The sun shining on the earth at just the right angle to produce life and enough energy.
3) Just the right atmosphere needed for life.
4) Plants breathe out what we breathe in.
5) A cell can't form in one spot and then migrate to every place on earth to fill it with cells.
6) Ants can't do that either. How did ants get to different parts of the world?
7) Just the right atmosphere for the earth to produce grass for the cows to eat.
8) How did grass grow first? I don't see grass on any other planets. Hmmm. Thank God for that sun.
9) The miracle of childbirth. It can't just evolve like that.
10) The sun stays in the sky instead of falling down. Gravity should be pulling it down but it just stays right up there. Hmmmm...interesting.
11) We are smart. If we share a common ancestor with monkeys, I found it remarkable that we are so smart and they are so dumb. How did we get so smart?

These are all points for where a God is needed to explain them. No rational human being can think of a rational explanation for all of this. I hope I convinced someone.

Beady

29th January 2006, 05:52 AM

I never understood faith until I heard about this, imagine to have so much faith that the laws of electrical conductance don't apply to you.

Is there any mention of how the congregation that witnessed this event explains it as an exqample of God's love?

ChristineR

29th January 2006, 06:10 AM

Bishop Usher. He was an Angelican, and it's explained well in the Wikipedia. Basically, he used the geneology from Adam to Solomon and then the history in the Old Testement to decide that the earth was approximately 4000 years old at the birth of Christ. Then he declared that it was exactly 4000 years old, and used the 4 BC as the date of birth. (The New Testament has some conflicting info on this, probably after the fact fudging so that various prophecies could be fulfilled.) Then he decided it was the Sunday before the fall equinox, putting the rest day on Saturday.

There are some related ideas, like something important happened in 2004 BC, and something important (the second coming) would happen in 1996. (Whoops.)

schplurg

29th January 2006, 06:41 AM

Craziest thing a woo has said to me?

A girl at work says she remembers several of her past lives, and her current boyfriend was also her boyfriend in these lives. I told her "Hey, your boyfriend owes me money from my past life! Next time I see him I'm gonna kick his ***!""

Mid

29th January 2006, 06:57 AM

I *think* you meant to say "...dating the age of the earth."

:) True. I shouldn't post whilst barely awake, I'd only been up for about 3 hours by that time :D
..snip...
BTW, according to the math, it appears Methusala, he of the 900+ year lifespan, died in the Flood. Make of that what you will.
That could be disturbing, as it would appear that God agrees with involuntary euthanasia
"Inherit the Wind" opened on Broadway in 1955, became a major movie in 1960, and was first seen on TV in 1965. It was probably this last event which caused the script of the stage play to be released in book form, which I read (on my own) while in a Lutheran seminary. I then, somehow, got the school's drama club to use it in a theatrical competition with other schools. At the time, for me, it was just a well-written piece of literature, but I now date my slide into intellectual depravity from that incident.

But I digress. Point being, from 1955 on, the Creationism/Evolution debate (which inherently includes the 6k-year earth and Bishop Ussher) has been present and available in the public media (it's been on DVD since 2001).
It was probably Inherit the Wind that first alerted me to the history of the Creationist/evolution controversy (beyond the initial publishing of The Origin of the Species) which I think I first saw sometime in the late 80s/early 90s. Seeing the movie was probably the catalyst that made me take more notice of news reports/TV programs etc. that covered the fact that some people still believe that the Earth is 6000 years old. However, if my interested hadn’t been piqued by this strange belief that was mentioned in the movie then I think I could have easily missed out on knowing that people still believed this, as these programs had to be hunted out.

Admittedly all this conjecture is based on a sample of one and relies on my hazy recollection. However, I suppose the point of my initial post was that where I grew up, which was in the North East of England during the 1980s and 90s, these beliefs weren’t particularly widely discussed especially not at school and in other parts of the world this could also have been the case. Unfortunately I’m doubtful that you could go for most of your formative years in the UK without hearing this rubbish now as the fundies have become increasingly vocal here recently.

Beady

29th January 2006, 07:14 AM

Unfortunately I’m doubtful that you could go for most of your formative years in the UK without hearing this rubbish now as the fundies have become increasingly vocal here recently.

I wouldn't say "unfortunately." At least, not necessarily.

The Fundy insistence on ignoring or spinning physical evidence is probably their Achilles heel. I know, it seems to have altered my mother's view. This may not seem a big deal, but she is/was a convert, back just before I was born, and was consequently rather rabid in her Christianity. The last decade or so, however, she's developed a marked distaste for the more extreme views, and has expressed some embarrassment at her church's "interpretation" of the physical record.

Also, take a look at the Pennsylvania court decision, where the judge wasn't shy about labelling the dishonesty of the ID proponents.

Let 'em get more vocal! I'm all in favor of it, and I'll even furnish the soapbox for them to stand on.

ShowMe

29th January 2006, 08:09 AM

When I was in high school a girl I was really hot for told me "Jesus has revealed Himself unto me and told me you are bound by 91 deomons".

Which was probably the very begining of my critical thinking stage. She was one of the most intelligent people I knew, yet she believed this crap. I figured if she could get sucked into it, anyone could.

CACTUSJACKmankin

29th January 2006, 08:29 AM

I'm sorry I have to respond to some of these so bear with me.

3) Just the right atmosphere needed for life.

The atmosphere we currently have is very different from the atmosphere that life formed in. We know from experimentation that oxygen prevents the formation of many of the essential building blocks of life, so it is unlikely that oxygen was in the atmosphere when life arose. We also know that among the oldest bacterial fossils we find on earth are those of blue-green algae which is a photosynthetic bacterium. Thus the composition of the atmosphere that we have today was largely formed by photosynthetic organisms. In fact when the oxygen got high enough into the atmosphere, the ozone layer formed, without which terrestrial life would be impossible due to the DNA-destroying UV rays from the sun.

4) Plants breathe out what we breathe in.

see above

5) A cell can't form in one spot and then migrate to every place on earth to fill it with cells.

This is just incorrect. Scientists are now finding bacterium in places that were once thought to be totally inhospitable. They've been found deep in bedrock, in hotsprings, in ice. So cells have migrated to every place on earth and filled it with cells.

6) Ants can't do that either. How did ants get to different parts of the world?

It's called pangea. They just scurried accross the border.

8) How did grass grow first? I don't see grass on any other planets. Hmmm. Thank God for that sun.

Grass probably is unique to earth. Evolution has so many variables that life on other planets is likely completely different. And furthermore other planets have suns too.

10) The sun stays in the sky instead of falling down. Gravity should be pulling it down but it just stays right up there. Hmmmm...interesting.

This is a great one. This is so stupid that it doesn't even warrant a treatment by Phil Plait. I don't even know how to refute this it's so ignorant. I'll try a quick version. The sun is actually way the hell out there, the sun's gravity is greater than the earth's. The implications of this statement are hillarious. Talk about global warming!!!

11) We are smart. If we share a common ancestor with monkeys, I found it remarkable that we are so smart and they are so dumb. How did we get so smart?

The only logical problem with human evolution is how people like this guy aren't selected out.

These are all points for where a God is needed to explain them. No rational human being can think of a rational explanation for all of this. I hope I convinced someone.
lol, that was a good one. Wait a minute... HE WASN'T JOKING!!!

Mid

29th January 2006, 10:16 AM

I wouldn't say "unfortunately." At least, not necessarily.

The Fundy insistence on ignoring or spinning physical evidence is probably their Achilles heel. I know, it seems to have altered my mother's view. This may not seem a big deal, but she is/was a convert, back just before I was born, and was consequently rather rabid in her Christianity. The last decade or so, however, she's developed a marked distaste for the more extreme views, and has expressed some embarrassment at her church's "interpretation" of the physical record.

Also, take a look at the Pennsylvania court decision, where the judge wasn't shy about labelling the dishonesty of the ID proponents.

Let 'em get more vocal! I'm all in favor of it, and I'll even furnish the soapbox for them to stand on.

True I suppose it could be a good thing, but I worry that their increased vocality here indicates they're gradually getting more influence and can no longer be safely ignored. For instance Stephen Green who runs Christian Voice has been going at it for a number of years, but only recently has he come to prominence with his attempted boycotts of Jerry Springer: The Opera, appearances on BBC discussion programs etc.

Bone_Vulture

29th January 2006, 10:18 AM

This is a great one. This is so stupid that it doesn't even warrant a treatment by Phil Plait. I don't even know how to refute this it's so ignorant. I'll try a quick version. The sun is actually way the hell out there, the sun's gravity is greater than the earth's. The implications of this statement are hillarious. Talk about global warming!!!

And talk about friggin' 3rd century geocentrism. ;)

Kotatsu

29th January 2006, 03:44 PM

I personally like the argument that "If evolution was true, there would be many more animals with six legs!" which was thrown at me by a particularly tedious creationist at a local RPG-society's homepage. Most likely, the girl who wrote it (Ann) stole it from somewhere, as every other line in her copious posts were from Ansers in Genesis.

She also used the wonderful argument "If evolution was true, more animals would look exactly the same!"

A scientologist I once met asked me to close my eyes and imagine a kitten, then asked me who it was that was seeing the kitten - my eyes were closed after all, so it couldn't be me. I am not sure what he wanted to prove with this. Possibly, he had no point. The main part of his side of the conversation was "Come into the tent and have a look around!" When I eventually did so (I visited them almost daily over a period of about a week), I read some of their pamplets. In one of them, they stated that - if I recall correctly - maths and geometry had no practical applications, and are therefore unnessecary to learn at school. The two physicists who were with me disagreed somewhat.

PixyMisa

29th January 2006, 08:46 PM

I personally like the argument that "If evolution was true, there would be many more animals with six legs!"
What, more than there are already? :eek:

bruto

29th January 2006, 08:47 PM

This is a hard one, since I must confess that I lived among anthroposophists for a couple of years, and pots don't get much more cracked than that, and I have also recently been engaged in some Jref threads with Iacchus....so where to begin?

So skipping all that, I'll quote my Jehovah's Witless cousin:

"We don't interpret."

kevin

29th January 2006, 08:52 PM

The Mormon church routinely "Christianizes" Jews who died in the Holocaust so they won't burn in hell. How presumptious of them, eh?

Heh, this is one my favorite games to play with Mormons. When they come by the house I just tell them I'll wait until a relative prays me to heaven. Then I can have all the fun I want now, and be saved after I'm dead.

They don't seem to appreciate my logic.

kevin

29th January 2006, 09:08 PM

Hrmm, what´s a cow-orker?! ;)

A co-worker that is an in-duh-vidual.

Slang coined by Scott Adams. I think the earliest usage is here:
http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/dnrc/html/newsletter17.html

David Swidler

29th January 2006, 11:41 PM

BTW, according to the math, it appears Methusala, he of the 900+ year lifespan, died in the Flood. Make of that what you will.

He of the 969 years? I think the idea is that God waited to bring the flood until after Methuselah died, since the guy was so righteous.

Beady

30th January 2006, 02:05 AM

True I suppose it could be a good thing, but I worry that their increased vocality here indicates they're gradually getting more influence and can no longer be safely ignored.

If it's any consolation, we've been dealing with 'em over here all of our "European" history. It's been messy, but they're not out of control.

I blame you for our problems, actually. If you hadn't been so bloody intolerant, the religious types would have stayed on your side of the pond, and this side would have been settled just by the land grabbers. Now, you're just getting a little of your own back.

;)

Beady

30th January 2006, 02:09 AM

He of the 969 years? I think the idea is that God waited to bring the flood until after Methuselah died, since the guy was so righteous.

I've always wondered: If going to heaven is your reward for a righteous life, why did God delay Methuselah's reward for so long?

Kotatsu

30th January 2006, 02:31 AM

What, more than there are already? :eek:

I presume she didn't count insects as "animals". For example, she argued that animals in the pre-flood era were allowed to eat insects without violating some "no animal hurt any other animal" policy God had implemented. The reason? Well, insects obviously didn't possess a breathing apparatus, so they can't possibly count as "proper animals".

Her reasoning - or, rather, not-reasoning, was a bit unorthrodox from a reality point of view at several occasions.

Kotatsu

30th January 2006, 02:34 AM

I've always wondered: If going to heaven is your reward for a righteous life, why did God delay Methuselah's reward for so long?

In, at least, Swedish, there is an old saying that goes "Den som väntar på något gott, väntar aldrig för länge", which, roughly, means "He who's waiting for something good cannot wait too long" where "good" can also be interpreted as "desirable".

Perhaps he was to be a good example for the not as good? I haven't read the Bible so I don't know to what extent he succeeded, but if he lived before the flood as mentioned earlier in this thread, my guess is that either his performance or his audience was sub-standard.

ond_magiker

30th January 2006, 02:54 AM

Rasmus

30th January 2006, 03:08 AM

The stupidest thing anyone has ever said to me was probably from a discussion about evolution with an ex-creationist (he no longer believed in God, but his anti-evo upbringing still stuck). He told me dinosaurs never existed, and there existed no fossils of them whatsoever.

So why did my friends made me endure the Natural History Museum (http://www.nhm.ac.uk/visit-us/galleries/life-galleries/dinosaurs/index.html) in London for so many hours?

(It's a great place, but I am not too keen on dinosaurs myself, and we spend the majority of the time looking at them dead prehistoric creatures .... wonder what they all realyl were...)

Rasmus.

Johnny Pixels

30th January 2006, 03:10 AM

I got told this, when I was sarcastic on a forum:

Yeah and the Nazis made use of similar sarcasm and so did the Bolsheviks, the Maoists, the Khimer Rogue and the Fascists.

When it was said that those ignorant of history are doomed to repeat it, they were talking about people like you, pixel.

Johnny Pixels

30th January 2006, 03:15 AM

The stupidest thing anyone has ever said to me was probably from a discussion about evolution with an ex-creationist (he no longer believed in God, but his anti-evo upbringing still stuck). He told me dinosaurs never existed, and there existed no fossils of them whatsoever.

I had a Jehovas witness come to my door and claim that there was no real evidence for evolution. Unfortunately for her I'd been to the Natural History Museum the day before, where they have an iguanodon fossil dug out of a quarry just outside the town where I live. That same iguandon is actually on the towns coat of arms, added in 1949.

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/4/4b/200px-Arms-maidstone.jpg

The_Fire

30th January 2006, 03:29 AM

Direct quote from poster I grant anonymity:

Has anyone else noticed the major influx of negative energy in the North american region...lots of angery, hateful warmongers running around...

I am wondering if this magnetic shift of this planet is causing more problems than we know...

MY reply?

What magnetic shift?

richardm

30th January 2006, 03:34 AM

The stupidest thing anyone has ever said to me was probably from a discussion about evolution with an ex-creationist (he no longer believed in God, but his anti-evo upbringing still stuck). He told me dinosaurs never existed, and there existed no fossils of them whatsoever.
That is stupid. Every knows that dinosaurs existed.

We don't have any dinosaurs now because they didn't get on the Ark and drowned in the flood, as any fule kno.

With all due respect to Beady, It came as a genuine surprise to me that people take the bible as literally true in this day and age.

There are many crazy things I've heard said over the years. Another that springs to mind is the claim on these very forums that the WTC collapse was actually a controlled explosion: when it was built they mixed explosives into the concrete. One hopes that these people are just joking, but...

CACTUSJACKmankin

30th January 2006, 04:25 AM

I know fundies are easy but I'd like to see some more stuff from believers in the paranormal and pseudoscience. Like how perpetual motion people think that the laws of thermodynamics are incorrect or optional.

StoatBringer

30th January 2006, 05:24 AM

The first time I heard about the 6,000 year old earth I was floored. It was from this guy on his TV show http://www.lesfeldick.org/ he also believes that the pre flood civilization was more technologically advanced than us.

I was in awe and had to rush online to verify it. Did anybody actually believe this stuff? I found the answer and just starred at it in intellectual shock.

Well, I got this via email this morning (in response to my Noah's Ark page (http://www.abarnett.demon.co.uk/atheism/noahs_ark.html)):

Have you considered the fact that people in those days were far more
advanced, if not light years ahead in technology than what we are today and
maybe all the animals and insects etc etc were actually taken on board in
test tubes ready for cloning once they had reached dry land
again.................just a thought ...maybe the ark was a huge floating
laboratory!!!!!!!!!...

So yes, some people *do* believe that stuff.

rockoon

30th January 2006, 05:31 AM

"Its easier to make a flush in clubs than it is in any other suit" - A regular $75/$150 7-Card Stud donator at Foxwoods.

Ladewig

30th January 2006, 05:57 AM

Dr Adequate

30th January 2006, 06:03 AM

Well, here's the stupidest thing I've read in the last half hour:

If I were ever to think that there was no God, I would immediately kill myself, but not before wiping out a few cities, raping a bunch of women and wreaking other havoc. I mean, why shouldn't I. Because I would go to prison? No I wouldn't. Before being arrested I would kill a few more people and then put the gun to my head.
Why do so many of them claim to be psychopaths restrained only by fear of a bigger sadist?

Lord Muck oGentry

30th January 2006, 06:32 AM

Well, here's the stuidest thing I've read in the last half hour:

Why do so many of them claim to be psychopaths restrained only by fear of a bigger sadist?

Fair point, Dr Adequate. Let's face it, fundamentalist nutters are not very good at morality. A few years ago, one of them told me that my godlessness would get me a long stretch in Hades. I didn't object to that, but the little toerag went on to suggest that, since God is always right, I didn't deserve anything better than the tortures of the damned. When I put it to him that he was being a tad uncharitable, not to say downright rude, he just looked blank.
He did concede my point eventually, but only after I'd explained that what he needed was a good pull-through with a Xmas tree, which I proposed to administer. It was naughty of me, I confess, but I plead provocation...

Anti_Hypeman

30th January 2006, 06:43 AM

On his show yesterday John Hauge said that god used Hitler to force the Jews back into Israel. According to him some guy before the war had called all the Jews back but they ignored him so Hitler was the punishment. As he put it Hitler was the hunter sent to run the Jews out of their holes and back to the holy land.

c4ts

30th January 2006, 08:29 AM

Just about anything by "John Conner," speaker for "The White Aryan Resistance" is in the realm of so wrong it's funny, but you have to hear him say it in order to grasp the depth of his stupidity. For example, he claims that the European Union is going to take over America and make us all drive on the other side of the road, and concentration camps for non-Jews exist all over the country, awaiting activation or something. Also, the Jews, the homosexuals, the Mexican government, and the Illuminata apparently framed Hitler for the holocaust just as they framed Islamic terrorists for the 9-11 attacks. And this is largely an effort to destroy the purity of the Aryan race, which is supported by totally %100 TRUE German mythology!

Bone_Vulture

30th January 2006, 08:56 AM

Why do so many of them claim to be psychopaths restrained only by fear of a bigger sadist?

Yeah, makes me wish that we never actually find proof that God doesn't exist - who knows how many of these fundies would go postal the very same second? Then again, the chances of there ever being proof that these people would believe over their sacred Big Book o' Fables are very slim, so I guess we're safe for now.

Belz...

30th January 2006, 09:54 AM

My personal Fav, from right here (http://forums.randi.org/showpost.php?p=1184616&postcount=33) by our own Interesting Ian:

"Indeed it is clear to me that the existence of fraudulent psychics makes the existence of genuine psychics more likely.

But I don't expect the mind numbing stupidy of skeptics to understand something like that."

Ha! Doesn't surprise me at all.

One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it.

Ah yes. Nothing like that around.

ChristineR

30th January 2006, 10:01 AM

You see Belz, the basic problem is that scientists are all vampires. Bet ya didn't know that? Well, now you do!

Bone_Vulture

30th January 2006, 10:27 AM

Ah yes. Nothing like that around.

But there's Jebus! ;)

c4ts

30th January 2006, 10:33 AM

Yeah, makes me wish that we never actually find proof that God doesn't exist - who knows how many of these fundies would go postal the very same second? Then again, the chances of there ever being proof that these people would believe over their sacred Big Book o' Fables are very slim, so I guess we're safe for now.

Proof or not, they'll go postal if they really are like that.

Belz...

30th January 2006, 12:13 PM

I just remembered a Hare Krishna magazine given to me over 25 years ago.

"Man never walked on the Moon because (a) the Moon is farther from the Earth than the Sun is and there is no way the astronauts could have gotten there in the alotted time and (b) it is impossible for living things to exist on any planet (or astronomical body) other than the one they were born on."

I just found a copy of the article online:
http://science.krishna.org/Articles/2000/08/00082.html

I win.

No contest.

"Women voting gives too much power to control men. I don't think God ever intended for women to have both the vote and boobs. That is just too much power in the hands of the weaker vessel."

...taken from Draining the Pool of Pisery (http://www.christianforums.com/showthread.php?p=18883531&postcount=12), the classic Clirus post on Christianforums. You simply can´t make up stuff like that. :D :D

That's it. It's time I invented my own religion. A real one, I mean. Tax-deductible, too.

c4ts

30th January 2006, 02:19 PM

That is stupid. Every knows that dinosaurs existed.

We don't have any dinosaurs now because they didn't get on the Ark and drowned in the flood, as any fule kno.

So why are there Creationists out looking for dinosaurs in Africa? Why do they claim that finding a live one would prove evolution wrong? ARG!

brodski

30th January 2006, 02:24 PM

So why are there Creationists out looking for dinosaurs in Africa? Why do they claim that finding a live one would prove evolution wrong? ARG!

because seemingly there is no argument so bad, nor activity so stupid, that a Fundy wont pursue it to try and "prove" their "faith". And her was me thinking that the whole point of faith, was that it didn't need proof.

tsg

30th January 2006, 03:17 PM

because seemingly there is no argument so bad, nor activity so stupid, that a Fundy wont pursue it to try and "prove" their "faith". And her was me thinking that the whole point of faith, was that it didn't need proof.

In the Quest To Convert The Entire World To The One True Faith(tm), "Because I said so" has proved to be overwhelmingly ineffective, so now they're trying to prove it with facts. That their facts are entirely made-up isn't really important. End justifying the means and all...

CACTUSJACKmankin

30th January 2006, 03:30 PM

"So why are there Creationists out looking for dinosaurs in Africa? Why do they claim that finding a live one would prove evolution wrong? ARG!"

I've heard this before, it's actually a flawed arguement. A dinosaur could exist today, not likely but possible. The coelicanth turned up and there's no fossil record of it beyond the time of the dinosaurs. The key is that human fossils won't be found at the time that dinosaurs ruled which is about 250 to 65 mya (million years ago). This is because dinosaurs went extinct long before our earliest primate ancestors (common ancestor to monkeys lived about 40 mya) existed and progeny cannot exist before ancestory.

CACTUSJACKmankin

30th January 2006, 03:34 PM

Oh Yeah and dinosaurs do exist today. You might see one if you look out your window... we call them BIRDS!!!!

Yeah_Right

30th January 2006, 11:06 PM

Craziest thing I heard a fundy say? That Enoch built the pyramids. Sadly that was my Brother that said that, I am so ashamed.

sistathinker

31st January 2006, 12:18 AM

From my FATHER (no wonder we don't speak)

ME: "So why does your "God" allow babies to be raped by HIV+ men in South Africa where they believe sex with a virgin is a cure?"
HIM: "We can't know the mind of "God." Maybe they're being punished for something they did in a former life."
ME: So why was your "God" too stupid to punish the wrongdoer then? Why did he wait until they were an innocent baby? Wait a minute, shouldn't the wrongdoer have been in hell by your reasoning? Why did she get to come back?
HIM: You think you know everything, don't you.

Dr Adequate

31st January 2006, 12:18 AM

So why are there Creationists out looking for dinosaurs in Africa?'Cos they're absurd batty brainless crazed daft dazed delirious demented dense deranged dim dull dumb foolish frenzied futile gulllible half-baked half-witted hare-brained idiotic illogical imbecile infantile insane irrational kooky laughable ludicrous lunatic mental mindless moronic naive nonsensical nutty obtuse peurile pointless potty preposterous psychotic rabid raving retarded screwy senseless silly simple-minded thickheaded unbalanced unhinged unreasonable unstable unthinking wacky witless CREATIONISTS damn it.

Hawk one

31st January 2006, 12:27 AM

Dr A: You could have put "evading" and "exaggerating" in there to get a couple of e-words. :p

Angus McPresley

31st January 2006, 03:36 AM

My college roommate wasn't really the woo-woo type, just a moron. Once we were watching a football game, and a punt had a hang-time of 4.5 seconds. He told me that's how long some basketball players spend in the air when slam-dunking.

I was incredulous. "There's no way, with the laws of physics -- " "They don't apply in that situation," he responded. What can you say? He's probably a senator now or something.

Dr Adequate

31st January 2006, 06:10 AM

My college roommate wasn't really the woo-woo type, just a moron. Once we were watching a football game, and a punt had a hang-time of 4.5 seconds. He told me that's how long some basketball players spend in the air when slam-dunking. I'm guessing either that basketball players can jump to a heigth of 25 meters, or that your friend was confused by watching too many slow motion replays.

tsg

31st January 2006, 06:13 AM

I was incredulous. "There's no way, with the laws of physics -- " "They don't apply in that situation," he responded. What can you say? He's probably a senator now or something.

That's about all he's qualified for ... In fact, one might say the lack of science knowledge is a prerequisite.

brodski

31st January 2006, 06:15 AM

That's about all he's qualified for ... In fact, one might say the lack of science knowledge is a prerequisite.
now, now, corrolation does not equal causation.
;)

tsg

31st January 2006, 06:59 AM

now, now, corrolation does not equal causation.
;)

That is true. It could be the case that becoming a senator makes one stupid...

Jorghnassen

31st January 2006, 09:01 AM

So many possibilities. Ramblings of people suffering from psychological disorders (ah the paranoid conspiracy theories of the schizophrenic taking public transport), the whackiness of creationists, other crazy fringe Xians ideas like "Choose your own adventure" gamebooks are the work of Satan, that crazy lady on the Daily Show discussion on evolution vs ID, etc...

Bob Klase

31st January 2006, 10:00 AM

I read some of their pamplets. In one of them, they stated that - if I recall correctly - maths and geometry had no practical applications, and are therefore unnessecary to learn at school.

Why aren't they ever around when I need change for a $20?

Jimbo07

31st January 2006, 12:05 PM

Here's another:

Any sort of claim to the effect that "We all live in a gigantic simulation," or "it's all an imposed mass hallucination," and that by learning its tricks, we can, "create our own realities" (see my note on creating reality in my QM comments).

There are several fictional sources. Everyone is familiar with the movie The Matrix. Some may be not so familiar with a role-playing game called Mage (the first edition of which was MUCH better written than the Matrix, IMHO).

The thing is, it may be true and that's what's crazy! The author (and physicist) Paul Davies has mentioned it (The Guardian, 23 Sep. 2003). As fiction the authors of Mage wrote it so well (again, better than the Matrix), that it was scientifically bullet-proof. That is, science was entirely contained within their system of metaphysics! An author can plug all of the holes with things like "phenomenon X can't be replicated, because it was a crack in the system and the designers are patching it right now."

However, Davies mentions (in the referenced article - Google: paul davies simulation) that simulations could be stacked "ad infinitum," rendering science as "reduced to a charade, because the simulators... can create any pseudo-laws..." which is akin to what I mentioned for fiction.

It seems then, that as crazy and true as the "mass unconscious consensus," claim to reality may be, it may also be as equally uninteresting, or at least lack any explanatory power (like from where the simulators came).

ObscureReferenceMan

31st January 2006, 12:50 PM

As a skeptic, I try to bring rational discourse to a variety of odd claims - including urban legends, mis-understood "facts" (i.e. human beings only use 10% of their brains), as well as "woo-ish" stuff. But still be open-minded, and not dismissive. Anyway...

A friend of mine is convinced her mother-in-law has psychic powers. When I called her on it, and tried to inform her of certain flaws in thinking (confirmation bias, Barnum effect, etc.), she held firm. After a little back-and-forth, she finally ended the discussion saying, "Well, I know she has powers. You can't convince me otherwise."

That really floored me. For example, I'm skeptical of Bigfoot. But I'd never be so close-minded to hold onto my belief despite hard evidence someone might present.

tsg

31st January 2006, 01:17 PM

she finally ended the discussion saying, "Well, I know she has powers. You can't convince me otherwise."

I am really surprised she didn't follow it with "you're just being closed minded."

Kotatsu

31st January 2006, 01:44 PM

Why aren't they ever around when I need change for a $20?

Maybe YOU should seek THEM out in such situations?

bruto

31st January 2006, 02:07 PM

Jimbo07

31st January 2006, 02:18 PM

Oh no! do you mean that Iacchus is wrong? It's not all a hologram?!?! I'm devastated!

I didn't say wrong!

Just because an idea exists in multiple variations in multiple, accessible, nameable pieces of fiction doesn't mean the idea... itself... err... is... fiction... umm :boggled:

Seriously though, if we could create our realities by finding cracks in the system (or learning the true nature of magick, whatever), it would be COOL to have superpowers! Until it got boring...

Why don't people just focus on improving the reality they know and 'creating' their life that way? That this is a simulation is irrelevant.

CACTUSJACKmankin

31st January 2006, 02:33 PM

Probably the nuttiest movie I've ever seen is "what the bleep do we know". It didn't make sense and it was way too into the weird theoretical physics mixing with BS spirituality. The text of the entire movie deserves to be here!

tsg

31st January 2006, 03:10 PM

Seriously though, if we could create our realities by finding cracks in the system (or learning the true nature of magick, whatever), it would be COOL to have superpowers! Until it got boring...

Superpowers are only cool if no one else has them. But, I guess, they cease to be "super" in that case. I mean, if everybody has them, they're just "powers", right?

Jimbo07

31st January 2006, 04:09 PM

Superpowers are only cool if no one else has them. But, I guess, they cease to be "super" in that case. I mean, if everybody has them, they're just "powers", right?

Right. And the point of most fictions (games) is that you or your homunculus has something special that other people don't have. That's the message that 'What the Bleep?!, weird QM interpretations, OOOC loves you, the Matrix etc.' try to convey.

I liked the the Incredibles:

Mom: "Honey, everyone is special."

Kid: "That's just another way of saying nobody is."

In a cynical sense, what makes a person think that they'd have powers even if they were in that fictional universe. What if somebody else was the hero? It REALLY sucks to be a schmuck in a super-powered reality.

In this reality, however, we are special. It just depends how we define special...

Bone_Vulture

1st February 2006, 04:58 PM

"not that I am stupid or anything but where is finland?"

Thank you, come again! :rolleyes:

The_Fire

1st February 2006, 05:02 PM

Originally Posted by fstdt.com :
"not that I am stupid or anything but where is finland?"

North of sweden, east of denmark,west of the former USSR and south of the north pole ;)

Bone_Vulture

1st February 2006, 05:21 PM

North of sweden

:confused:

Well fine, if you follow the Swedish coastline, you could say that Sweden ends in the north, and that's where Finland starts.

Angus McPresley

2nd February 2006, 03:52 AM

...and that by learning its tricks, we can, "create our own realities"[/I]

Whenever I hear someone say that, I can hardly resist the urge to just start repeatedly flicking them on the forehead with my finger. "[flick] So, why are you [flick] creating such an annoying reality [flick] for yourself then, bub?"

moopet

2nd February 2006, 04:01 AM

I'd have to throw in the heavy boots thing (google if you've not heard of it) which I remember reading about years ago, laughing at its stupidity and then... asking my friends and co(-)w(-)orkers. If you've never tried it, do so. People really do give that insane answer!

Ririon

2nd February 2006, 08:28 AM

Taarkin

2nd February 2006, 08:32 AM

I guess that feather and hammer were wearing boots too:boggled:

c4ts

2nd February 2006, 08:41 AM

The silliest thing I have ever heard is the Mormon belief that god came from the planet Kolob. (This is why there is a "Kolob" national forest in UT.) As a kid, I thought - "A supposedly all-knowing, all powerful being came from a planet up in the sky. RIGHT." As an adult I still find it remarkable silly.

This is coming from the religion that says Native Americans are really Israelis according to a bunch of tablets that were conveniently zapped out of existence by God...

Jimbo07

2nd February 2006, 08:50 AM

I guess that feather and hammer were wearing boots too:boggled:

I was amused by the one about the first year engineering students... giving us all a bad name... :rolleyes:

moopet

2nd February 2006, 03:30 PM

You mean this stuff?
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/2_7.html#subindex
:jaw-dropp

Yes. It sounds like the sort of thing snopes would debunk, but just go ahead and ask people yourself :/

Bone_Vulture

3rd February 2006, 12:16 PM

"Don't you see? Satan caused that. God has been taken out of our schools, work place and other places. So, God used [the terrorist attacks of] 911 to wake us up and say, 'You need me. Come back to me.'"

Oh Yahweh, you card! :rolleyes:

BillC

3rd February 2006, 01:07 PM

The craziest thing any woo has said to me:
"Some of them [Indian gurus], they live to be two to three hundred years old, you know."

ChristineR

3rd February 2006, 01:10 PM

Bone_Vulture

3rd February 2006, 02:02 PM

This one always baffles me. To me it sounds like God trying to tell us all to become Muslims.

You must understand the fundie logic: God is a bastard. Instead of something indisputable and effective, like a booming voice from the sky, he resorts to these utterly irrational and often atrocious stunts, expecting the majority to figure that "hey, instead of a horrible disaster, this is actually God telling us that he cares!" :rolleyes:

Orphia Nay

3rd February 2006, 09:02 PM

I was going to mention the comment made here about explosives being built into the WTC, but richardm already did. :) I think the poster was called 'love'.

Elsewhere, at a woo forum I used to go to until I quit before I nearly became a troll, a member posted a link to an 'alien abduction researcher (http://www.abduct.com/worley/worley13.php)' who claims 'Nordic aliens' are appearing to warn people of the impending 'pole shift / earth changes', 'confirming' biblical, Hopi, Jewish and Caycean prophecy...

nazi-flavoured wooness wrapped in woo-ology, in a woosome sauce with a side-serving of wooity and woo bits on top, served at woo temperature. Do you want woo with that?

PixyMisa

3rd February 2006, 10:54 PM

And a nice bottle of woone.

Taarkin

3rd February 2006, 11:10 PM

You must understand the fundie logic: God is a bastard. Instead of something indisputable and effective, like a booming voice from the sky, he resorts to these utterly irrational and often atrocious stunts, expecting the majority to figure that "hey, instead of a horrible disaster, this is actually God telling us that he cares!" :rolleyes:
He hits me because He loves me!

Upon the discovery of some new cat-thing in SE Asia (Indonesia I believe), a poster revealed that this was a sign that God had forsaken secular America and was blessing another part of the world with new creations. The same part of the world he had just blessed with a tsunami.

Orphia Nay

3rd February 2006, 11:10 PM

And a nice bottle of woone.

:roll:

Thing

4th February 2006, 12:41 AM

Not so much fundy as just religious. I lived and worked in Ireland for a while, and used to listen to Gay Byrne's radio show of a morning. As part of an ongoing discussion he once read out a letter from a woman that went approximately like this:

"Dear Gay,
I am a widow in my 70s and had been awfully lonely but recently met a gentleman friend of a similar age, he's married but his wife has advanced Alzheimer's. We are careful not to associate in public but once a month we meet in a hotel room with a bottle of gin and have a wonderful time together. Some of your listeners are probably thinking that I'm a very wicked lady but I'll have them know I had long talk with my priest, and he told me that it was all right as long as we could truthfully answer 'no' to three questions:

1) Do you yourselves believe that what you are doing is wrong?

[at this point I thought fair play to the priest]

2) Are you harming anyone other than yourselves?

[again, a fair question I thought]

3) Are you using any kind of contraception?

[at this point my cereal hit the ceiling]"

By the way, this wasn't the punchline to the letter or to Gaybo's discussion. And I recounted it later to a work colleague who was holding forth about how modern Ireland had become and no one batted an eye that he was cohabiting with his girlfriend etc. He laughed, but then stopped and said "mind you, it would be awfully awkward if she did fall pregnant at that age" and was totally serious.

Bone_Vulture

4th February 2006, 02:17 AM

Also, certain fundamentalists appear to have a deeply set misunderstanding on what "Occam's Razor" really stands for...

"You people all try to quote occam's razor. of course, occam's razor, if applied realistcly (which I understand you cannot allow) eliminates your entire theory. Please, in PRECISE DETAIL, do not leave a single step out, describe to me what was before the big bang, what caused the Big Bang, how the particles spread, how they joined, how they became planets, how stars were formed, then solar systems and galaxies. Then how this molten planet became covered with water, then an atmosphere. Then describe the entire process that took non living matter with not information, organized it into information, foud a way to decode the information and became living. describe how this living orginism was then able to automatically reproduce. Then please add to that how it increased this information into a complex organism, then to a fish, then a amphibean, a land animal aprimate, then a man. Along the way please tell me each step on how the eye formed from nothing, hearing, understanding, imagination and emotions. I think thats enough for a start. But remember, YOU MUST INCLUDE EVERY STEP ALONG THE WAY.

But before you do, remember, according to occam's razor, you have to make it simpler and shorter than "God spoke it and it was done". So, you got to beat 7 words."

Dr Adequate

4th February 2006, 08:52 PM

delphi_ote

4th February 2006, 09:46 PM

Oooh, I like that.

"Please explain in every detail how a tree grows. But before you do, remember, according to occam's razor, you have to make it simpler and shorter than "Pixies made it by magic". So, you got to beat 5 words."

So if we continue that line of reasoning (where n is the number of words in a sentence...)

\lim_{logic\rightarrow \infty} {n \rightarrow zen} \,

Orphia Nay

4th February 2006, 10:05 PM

So, you got to beat 5 words

[Rule 8] happens.

Dr Adequate

5th February 2006, 12:44 AM

"You people all try to quote occam's razor. of course, occam's razor, if applied realistcly (which I understand you cannot allow) eliminates your entire theory. Please, in PRECISE DETAIL, do not leave a single step out, describe to me what was before the creaton, what caused the creation, how God made particles, how God joined them, how God made planets, how how God formed stars, then solar systems and galaxies. Then how God covered the planet with with water, then an atmosphere. Then describe how God took non living matter with not information, organized it into information, foud a way to decode the information and became living. describe how this living orginism was then able to automatically reproduce. Then please add to that how God made a complex organism, then to a fish, then a amphibean, a land animal aprimate, then a man. Along the way please tell me each step on how God made the eye, hearing, understanding, imagination and emotions. I think thats enough for a start. But remember, YOU MUST INCLUDE EVERY STEP ALONG THE WAY.

But before you do, remember, according to occam's razor, you have to make it simpler and shorter than "There is no God". So, you got to beat 4 words."

Rasmus

5th February 2006, 01:35 AM

But before you do, remember, according to occam's razor, you have to make it simpler and shorter than "There is no God". So, you got to beat 4 words."

"God exists."

SCNR :mrgreen:

Rasmus.

Dr Adequate

5th February 2006, 02:09 AM

Ahem."But remember, YOU MUST INCLUDE EVERY STEP ALONG THE WAY."

Bone_Vulture

5th February 2006, 02:02 PM

Also, understanding the distinction between 'moral' and 'morale' is sometimes taxing. :rolleyes:

"I only had time to watch the first 15-20 minutes, but there is no doubt that music has an awful effect on our youth. Especially instructive is the statement made the ex-KGB agent, when asked about overthrowing "free" countries and making them into "communist" countries. The first step - DEMORALIZE the people. Does music accomplish this? Absolutely."

Bone_Vulture

5th February 2006, 02:05 PM

And.. when will the insanity stop? (I mean generally.)

"[Again on Old Testament atrocities]

Yet, let us look at the logical, and smart, reason for the killing of these women and children.

By allowing the women and children to live, they allow the memory of the dead father's and husbands. They allow hate to brew. They allow time for the nation to grow back. They allow for another war. Therefore they had to kill off the women and children to prevent further conflict. What may seem evil was actually wise.
Look at Germany, after WW1 they raised up a new generation to fight. Iraq has had 10 years to build upon youth and make them war machines. It is only when a nation is completely defeated that we can see them turn around.

So call it evil all you want, it was a very smart move."

articulett

5th February 2006, 03:25 PM

My son has a friend who once shared "gifted" classes with him--his I.Q. shows him to be a smart person--but he's been going to a religious school for a few years now, and he told my son that he doesn't BELIEVE IN DINOSAURS.

We live in a world where we have access to an unprecedented amount of information that people of the past could not have had--and his religion makes him too stupid to discover the wonders of it all.

I think this religious nuttiness will die out once we start challenging the notion of the "soul". Brains experience feelings of pain and pleasure...there is no evidence that souls exist. Without a brain to experience heaven, hell, etc...there can be no heaven or hell--and the might grip religion has on people will loosen. Truth doesn't care whether you believe it or not. But it's an amazing tool for those who aren't afraid they'll be in agony eternally for examining it.

Wowbagger

5th February 2006, 03:28 PM

After watching a news magazine show (I forget which one. It may have been Primetime Live), someone I knew was convinced that some six-year-old child was a reincarnated WWII pilot.

I decided to spend a few hours trying to explain why that was absurd. I didn't know any specific details of this case, other than what the fellow remembered from the show. But, I was able to generalize a possible method in which the whole thing could have been faked.

After explaining that, he replies "Well, if it was all faked, why didn't they just say that on the news show?!"

I feel for Randi and Kramer. I really do.

Jon.

5th February 2006, 03:31 PM

nazi-flavoured wooness wrapped in woo-ology, in a woosome sauce with a side-serving of wooity and woo bits on top, served at woo temperature. Do you want woo with that?

You could have woo, eggs, sausage and woo - that's not got much woo in it.:D

Orphia Nay

5th February 2006, 05:55 PM

http://smilies.vidahost.com/contrib/anym/pyth.gif

articulett

5th February 2006, 06:04 PM

Ahem.

Evolution.

(truly, you are a verbose but amazingly ignorant human being)

articulett

5th February 2006, 06:07 PM

Also, understanding the distinction between 'moral' and 'morale' is sometimes taxing. :rolleyes:

I agree bone vulture...

And I think far more suffering has been caused by religion then music. Music sure does make a nice scapegoat for the wacky right and their minions. Why I bet Pat Robertson would jump right on that band wagon (if he could dupe more people out of money and gain more power by doing so.)

delphi_ote

5th February 2006, 06:10 PM

Evolution.

(truly, you are a verbose but amazingly ignorant human being)

Godidit.

I win.

articulett

5th February 2006, 06:14 PM

Oh Yahweh, you card! :rolleyes:

I thought god told the muslims that they needed to teach the evil, materilaistic, imperialistic Americans a lesson. Don't give Yahweh the credit...what did he do except ignore all the passengers praying to him in the back of plane? Gods the brains behind this plot. Remember, Osama's followers were eagerly dashing to meet god (allah) AND claim their reward--72 virgins (who were no doubt in Islam hell). (How fun can sex be without the apparatus and without a brain to experience anything...some people are mighty gullible...)

articulett

5th February 2006, 06:20 PM

Dr. Adequate...how was the internet formed...don't forget to explain each step along the way...do not resort to "magical explanations"...explain it all--computers, digital data, binary code, the invention of 0 as a place holder, the conception and birth of Bill Gates...don't refer to evolution or the honing of previous knowledge in anyway...don't use the notion that what works gets copied and refined...don't use the notion that the stuff that doesn't work, "dies out"....oh, and do it in 5 words or less. No fair saying "presto".

Occams razor is about the most logical explanation...where no supernatural unmeasurable forces etc. need to be involved. You don't need to resort to magic to understand that the earth is spherical but people don't fall off...and the oceans don't spill out. Yes, "god makes things stick" is a simple (simpleton) idea, but it involves "magic". Gravity is simple for those who have a wee bit of scientific understanding--AND no god is required.

You may wish to accelerate your evolution...

articulett

5th February 2006, 06:28 PM

my apologies to Dr. Adequate...I mistook one of your posting as that of a woo (fstdc).

The Don

6th February 2006, 03:40 AM

He hits me because He loves me!

Upon the discovery of some new cat-thing in SE Asia (Indonesia I believe), a poster revealed that this was a sign that God had forsaken secular America and was blessing another part of the world with new creations. The same part of the world he had just blessed with a tsunami.
T'was I

I may not have been entirely serious

Dr Adequate

6th February 2006, 05:02 AM

my apologies to Dr. Adequate...I mistook one of your posting as that of a woo. You don't say!

NeilC

6th February 2006, 07:09 AM

I was recently told in my massage class that you can use applied kinesiology by-proxy to diagnose food allergies.

For those who don't know, applied kinesiology is muscle reading. E.g. you put your arm out, they try to press it down and can, supposedly, tell you stuff about your health. Someone with a food allergy would put foods on their skin and the practitioner would be able to tell by the loss of strength in their arm. This is hard to do with little kids who won't play along. Luckily you can do it by proxy! The mother holds the kids's hand and has HER arm pushed down. So you can put a bit of bread on the kid's forehead, he holds his mum's hand and the guy pressing her arm can tell that the kid is wheat intolerant! Obvious really.

Yahweh

6th February 2006, 03:46 PM

"If it [earth's magenetic field] repolarizes, as you claim, why don't birds ever migrate NORTH for the winter? Also, magnets of a like polarity repel each other, so why don't animals that eat a lot of iron fly off into space? As to the magnetic field, this would pull the moon closer because the Moon has iron in it. Therefore, it's magnetic. The magnetic field 3 billion years ago would destroy ALL life forms, and a repolarization would send EVERYTHING into space."

GodsSamus, Christian Forums (http://www.fstdt.com/comments.asp?id=224)

alfaniner

6th February 2006, 05:29 PM

"I accept this nomination for the President of the United States." :D

aggle-rithm

7th February 2006, 06:03 AM

A Christian friend was once telling me how his church had organized a fund-raising event, with all the money going directly to church elders. I asked if the funds would be "tithed", as with other churches, with a percentage going to the poor. He responded angrily, "That money doesn't belong to the poor. It belongs to the Lord!"

By "the Lord", of course, he meant the greedy church leadership. :(

tsg

7th February 2006, 09:17 AM

He responded angrily, "That money doesn't belong to the poor. It belongs to the Lord!"

One thing I've learned from religion: God is really bad with money.

Peachy

7th February 2006, 11:31 AM

My all time favorite claim. Thanks Scientology OT powers! I will paraphrase a bit:

"A man was sitting eating dinner when thanks to his Operating Thetan powers overheard a distress call coming from the French countryside, and decided to leave his body and investigate (just his thetan). He followed the signal to a house, and entered finding a peasant woman tied to a chair surrounded by a dozen men. The man then telepathically caused the men to grow afraid, and fear that the police were approaching. The men fled the house in fear, and were shortly thereafter apprehended by the French Police.

The man then found a nearby young couple, and telepathically caused them to become curious about the house, and they wandered in to free the peasant woman.

The man then flew his Thetan home, thankful that his powers had allowed him to save this poor woman."

Now seriously skeptics, how can you argue with that!?

MattusMaximus

7th February 2006, 09:29 PM

I have two of these:

1. My fundamentalist Xian brother-in-law once told me that God put fossils in the ground to "test our faith" and that evolution was part of a conspiracy by "Satan, liberals, and universities" to lead people on the path to Hell.

I'm not kidding - he was serious. Fortunately, I think he's mellowed...

2. When I taught astronomy in grad school, one of my students once told me that "The only reason things fall to the ground is because we *expect* them to do so."

Wow - this guy was off the charts - some kind of weird New Agey "we create our own reality" worldview :confused:

Cheers - Mattus

Chris Haynes

7th February 2006, 09:43 PM

I just remembered this after wearing a certain shirt while pruning some grapes. When I sew up a new pattern I will create something called a "muslin"... basically trying an outfit with cheap fabric instead of $20 per yard stuff.

I made a shirt from actual muslin (cheap off white cotton), and since it actually fit I tie dyed it. Since I was learning to tie dye, this was also an experiment. The colors are kind of blurred and brownish (tie dye can be an art!). By the way, the final shirt is dark brown that I really do like.

When my now 6th grade daughter was in pre-school I actually wore this strangely tie-dyed shirt to the community center. A young lady admired my shirt (!!!????... I must have had to do laundry to wear it!... a common problem in my house).

Her crazy comment: "Oh, wow... Tie dye is so spiritual!"

:confused: :rolleyes: :D

Bone_Vulture

7th February 2006, 10:09 PM

Wow - this guy was off the charts - some kind of weird New Agey "we create our own reality" worldview :confused:

I take it you haven't seen the movie "What the bleep do we know?!"? ;)

c4ts

7th February 2006, 11:05 PM

I take it you haven't seen the movie "What the bleep do we know?!"? ;)

Columbus's ships were literally invisible because the Indians didn't want to see them!

Chris Haynes

8th February 2006, 08:30 AM

Columbus's ships were literally invisible because the Indians didn't want to see them!

"Invisible" to a culture living on islands that used canoes capable of holding 60 people!

:wink8:

luchog

8th February 2006, 12:40 PM

Wow - this guy was off the charts - some kind of weird New Agey "we create our own reality" worldview :confused:

I have several New-Age whacko aquaintances, with a variety of whacko beliefs. The most nutty of which is the "consensual reality" crap.

One of them truly beleives the "consensual reality" thing. She insists that people can control the weather if enough of them believe hard enough (everytime there's a forecast of snow in winter, she posts a plea on the local message board and her LJ asking people to believe that it won't snow). She has also said, flat out that lightning only became electricity when scientists decided it was, and got enough people to believe it. When I asked her what it was before that, she just said "I don't know. Probably not anything specific."

The odd thing is, she's not the usual hippy airhead. She's actually a very intelligent, well-educated woman.

sophia8

9th February 2006, 04:02 AM

I've been around New Agers for decades (I used to be one myself, until they drummed me out of the Movement for asking too many questions). So I've heard them say lots of silly things. Like "Bran cleanses your kidneys" or "They've discovered Martian fossils in the Antarctic, so that proves the Martians created life here." And lots of other stuff.
Yes, I argue with them and point out the facts to them. Or try to. Trouble is, I've been doing it for so long, they expect it from me now. So they just roll their eyes and say things like "Why must you always be so negative?" or "Scientists don't know everything."
So I can't win.