"Jesus, Take the wheel" Umm, no thanks

[glopal]

Hey, my first post, though I do a lot of reading in this forums.

Has anyone heard Carrie Underwood's (American Idol winner) song "Jesus, Take the wheel." Its rather disturbing that her album is number on on the top country albums billboard, and the song itself is number 6 on the country singles billboard. I don't think I can ever feel safe driving in poor weather knowing that someone might take the song too seriously... Anyways, for those who havent heard it, here are the lyrics:

She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline
It been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was going way to fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was sooo scared
She threw her hands up in the air

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on

Oh, Jesus take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me
Oh, why, oh

[thaiboxerken]

Country music has a big Christian following, I'm not surprised that a Christian song is so popular. That being said, the message is disturbing, asking an imaginary being to drive for you is simply wreckless and should be a felony.

[Pauliesonne]

country music is supposedly " born " in the south........

creationist hicks are supposedly " born " in the south.......

[LostAngeles]

Wait, if it's from the South, how does she know about black ice?

And also, I'm pretty sure, but not entirely, since I hate driving and don't do it, that when you hit a patch of black ice, you don't throw your hands in the air and tell Jesus to, "take the wheel." I, uh, I could be wrong on this. Pretty sure it's not what I was taught, but uh, yeah, memory's getting old, faulty.

I wonder what needed changing so badly and why hitting a patch of black ice and being such an (apparently) crappy driver and getting lucky that you didn't hurt/kill/maim yourself and/or your young child would require that change?

OH RIGHT EVERY LITTLE THING THAT HAPPENS IS BECAUSE JESUS IS SENDING YOU A MESSAGE.

My mistake.

[LostAngeles]

Country music has a big Christian following, I'm not surprised that a Christian song is so popular. That being said, the message is disturbing, asking an imaginary being to drive for you is simply wreckless and should be a felony.

She got lucky and even though she was reckless, she ended up being wreckless.

[BJQ87]

Today, I got annoyed at this song they were playing in the gym...how am I supposed to work out with Britney spears singing "my lonelyness aint killin me no more, i'm stronger than yesterday bla bla"?

[shemp]

Today, I got annoyed at this song they were playing in the gym...how am I supposed to work out with Britney spears singing "my lonelyness aint killin me no more, i'm stronger than yesterday bla bla"?

1. Procure an ice pick.
2. Flip a coin:
a. Heads -- use ice pick to puncture your eardrums, then resume workout.
b. Tails -- use ice pick to kill everyone else in the gym, then change the music and resume workout.

[Angus McPresley]

What a lovely song.

I'm amazed that this nutty religious segment of the population hasn't Darwined themselves out of existence. How many die in hurricanes, etc., thinking that sweet Jeebus will protect them? Of course, for some reason, you only ever hear from the ones that survive.

[clarsct]

Hmmmmmmm.

Perhaps this ought to be ....encouraged?

[bluess]

From someone who splits time between DC and Tennessee - black ice is a problem in both locations.

However, the song irritates me for all of the previously stated reasons. There are a lot of country music songs with lyrics emphasizing personal irresponsibility.

On the other hand, there are a lot of country music songs which do just the opposite. And some that are all about drinking, partying and having a good time.

[Hagrok]

On the other hand, there are a lot of country music songs which do just the opposite. And some that are all about drinking, partying and having a good time.
Often on the same album... I try not to let the blatent hypocrisy get to me.

Shoot, this one's not that bad. Compared to the one where the kid's non-believer parents kill each other while he's hiding behind the couch... that one's bad.

[bluess]

Thanks, I'd forgotten all about that one. Don't forget that Jesus is blond and blue-eyed, and he let the little girl's parents beat the hell out of each other and kill each other, but she was OK!!!!!

[Zbu]

Country music has a big Christian following, I'm not surprised that a Christian song is so popular. That being said, the message is disturbing, asking an imaginary being to drive for you is simply wreckless and should be a felony.

Plus the song begs the questions:

1) Is Jesus really Cruise Control?
2) How does this affect anti-lock brakes? Are they tools of the devil or another sign of Jesus?
3) How does this fit into the whole 'God helps those who helps themselves?' Does this have something to do with buying an American car?
4) Does anybody own the rights to 'Cruise Control Jesus,' because that would make a rocking band name?
5) How does this affect the 'What would Jesus Drive' nonsense?
6) How would this affect Japanese car makers? Would it matter if your car makers were Christians?
7) How the hell does Jesus know how to drive? Seriously, if he even existed he's about 2000 years old and not even an American citizen. Does he have a license? Does he know about the whole 'right side' of the road thing? What if the car is a stick?
8) Why would Jesus bother to save some idiot who 'starred' in a stupid commercial hocking T-shirts for crappy candy?
9) If she's took tired to drive, why the hell would she be out in the first place? Pull over and take a nap!

I got a few more, but I'm too busy laughing over the sight of some idiot in a skid letting go of the wheel saying "Jesus, help me!" It's not reality, it's a MadTV skit that ends in an explosion and a tirade by the Depressed Persian Tow Truck Man.

[LostAngeles]

[QUOTE=bluess;1495190]From someone who splits time between DC and Tennessee - black ice is a problem in both locations.

...QUOTE]

Ah! I wasn't aware the phenomenon reached down that far. Thank you!

[fishbait]

Doubled post

[fishbait]

Are this guys drawings creepy or what? Might make for a good caption contest, though.

http://members.aol.com/jesusimages/ImagesJan05/Trucker_.jpg

[Dark Jaguar]

I am suddenly reminded of those old "scary stories to tell in the dark" books. Thanks for that image.

[Pauliesonne]

Put Yoda there instead of Jebus and change the caption from " with you always " to " may the force be with you....always ".

[Zbu]

That's not Jesus in that picture, it's Manson!! :eek:

[Beleth]

Whoever it is, he needs to cut way back on the eyeliner.

[Zep]

http://members.aol.com/jesusimages/ImagesJan05/Trucker_.jpg
I need you, Jim-Bob! I need you now! Stop the truck and get in the back with me...



[I'm SO going to hell...]

[Beleth]

That driver sure has a "quit touching me you homo I'm trying to drive" face and posture, doesn't he?

[Orangutango]

Sorry... although that song makes my eardrums bleed, it's nothing compared to "The Christmas Shoes" song...

It was almost Christmas time, there I stood in another line
Tryin' to buy that last gift or two, not really in the Christmas mood
Standing right in front of me was a little boy waiting anxiously
Pacing 'round like little boys do
And in his hands he held a pair of shoes

His clothes were worn and old, he was dirty from head to toe
And when it came his time to pay
I couldn't believe what I heard him say

Chorus:
Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

He counted pennies for what seemed like years
Then the cashier said, "Son, there's not enough here"
He searched his pockets frantically
Then he turned and he looked at me
He said Mama made Christmas good at our house
Though most years she just did without
Tell me Sir, what am I going to do,
Somehow I've got to buy her these Christmas shoes

So I laid the money down, I just had to help him out
I'll never forget the look on his face when he said
Mama's gonna look so great

Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

Bridge:
I knew I'd caught a glimpse of heaven's love
As he thanked me and ran out
I knew that God had sent that little boy
To remind me just what Christmas is all about

If you've heard this on the radio, you know that just listening to 10 seconds worth of this... this noise is enough to make you wish that there really is a god so that you can pray to him to strike you deaf. Bleah.

[DarkMagician]

And also, I'm pretty sure, but not entirely, since I hate driving and don't do it, that when you hit a patch of black ice, you don't throw your hands in the air and tell Jesus to, "take the wheel." I, uh, I could be wrong on this. Pretty sure it's not what I was taught, but uh, yeah, memory's getting old, faulty.

I wonder what needed changing so badly and why hitting a patch of black ice and being such an (apparently) crappy driver and getting lucky that you didn't hurt/kill/maim yourself and/or your young child would require that change?

OH RIGHT EVERY LITTLE THING THAT HAPPENS IS BECAUSE JESUS IS SENDING YOU A MESSAGE.

My mistake.
Yeah, caught me off guard as well.

This is why I intend to sticking to not watching more than 5 minutes of American Idol, total.

[Dark Jaguar]

Sorry... although that song makes my eardrums bleed, it's nothing compared to "The Christmas Shoes" song...

It was almost Christmas time, there I stood in another line
Tryin' to buy that last gift or two, not really in the Christmas mood
Standing right in front of me was a little boy waiting anxiously
Pacing 'round like little boys do
And in his hands he held a pair of shoes

His clothes were worn and old, he was dirty from head to toe
And when it came his time to pay
I couldn't believe what I heard him say

Chorus:
Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

He counted pennies for what seemed like years
Then the cashier said, "Son, there's not enough here"
He searched his pockets frantically
Then he turned and he looked at me
He said Mama made Christmas good at our house
Though most years she just did without
Tell me Sir, what am I going to do,
Somehow I've got to buy her these Christmas shoes

So I laid the money down, I just had to help him out
I'll never forget the look on his face when he said
Mama's gonna look so great

Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

Bridge:
I knew I'd caught a glimpse of heaven's love
As he thanked me and ran out
I knew that God had sent that little boy
To remind me just what Christmas is all about

If you've heard this on the radio, you know that just listening to 10 seconds worth of this... this noise is enough to make you wish that there really is a god so that you can pray to him to strike you deaf. Bleah.

I would note that the kid seems just a tad wary that his mom might "meet Jesus tonight". Gee, a little reality creeping up on him?

And also, it's nice to know that this man who did a kind act (as sickeningly sweet as the situation was) learned something important. God killed a kid's mother and made that kid have to beg a stranger for cash to teach that man to appreciate Christmas a little more.

[Orangutango]

I would note that the kid seems just a tad wary that his mom might "meet Jesus tonight". Gee, a little reality creeping up on him?

And also, it's nice to know that this man who did a kind act (as sickeningly sweet as the situation was) learned something important. God killed a kid's mother and made that kid have to beg a stranger for cash to teach that man to appreciate Christmas a little more.

Yes... <sniff> brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it...?:cry1;)

[Orangutango]

Did someone mention a caption contest...?

http://f1.grp.yahoofs.com/v1/0AcRRABOnkWfen7a1qyUKVA6PbMQoO0LTuCDmHTS8zI00GBB_y uRg6w2uKuB59cYaTPouwVI4UG7dBpAp3q1QQ/Trucker_.jpg

I am sooo gonna burn in a metaphorical hell along with Zep for this one....:boxedin:

[LostAngeles]

http://members.aol.com/jesusimages/ImagesJan05/Trucker_.jpg

Emo Jesus?

[bluess]

How about the "Tears in the Floor of Heaven" song? The one where the momma dies, but every time it rains, she's crying for her little girl along with all the angels.

[Zbu]

I would note that the kid seems just a tad wary that his mom might "meet Jesus tonight". Gee, a little reality creeping up on him?

And also, it's nice to know that this man who did a kind act (as sickeningly sweet as the situation was) learned something important. God killed a kid's mother and made that kid have to beg a stranger for cash to teach that man to appreciate Christmas a little more.

I'm still trying to get over the whole concept of Christmas Shoes. Ignoring the fact that we have a supposedly Christian child indulging in capitalism that is opposite of the whole 'reason for the season' mumbo-jumbo, would a mother really pressure her son into buying a pair of crappy shoes when she's on her death-bed? Come on, if you're going to die, then surely you have a few better things to worry about then footwear!!

And no matter how sappy the song is, I keep thinking the kid is buying his mom pumps covered with green garland with lights that keep flashing and sell for about $2 and need AAAs but will never work anyway. And it's THIS CLOSE to be recalled for safety reasons. ;)

[Zbu]

http://members.aol.com/jesusimages/ImagesJan05/Trucker_.jpg
I need you, Jim-Bob! I need you now! Stop the truck and get in the back with me...



[I'm SO going to hell...]

Anybody notice that Jesus is hassling Martin Sheen to drive him to Burning Man?

[scotth]

And also, I'm pretty sure, but not entirely, since I hate driving and don't do it, that when you hit a patch of black ice, you don't throw your hands in the air and tell Jesus to, "take the wheel." I, uh, I could be wrong on this. Pretty sure it's not what I was taught, but uh, yeah, memory's getting old, faulty.


As stupid as this sounds, taking hands off the wheel would be a big improvement over what most people do when they hit black ice (or any other TERRIBLY slick surface while driving)....

Actually, for a lot of people, telling them to put the car in neutral and don't touch the steering wheel until they get to better traction would save a lot of wrecks. Most of them generally lose control when they 'react' after hitting something really slick.

[Nyarlathotep]

I agree this sing is stupid, but I am biased since I don't like Country music anyway. The religious country song I found really disturbing is The Little Girl (http://www.lyrics007.com/John%20Michael%20Montgomery%20Lyrics/The%20Little%20Girl%20Lyrics.html) by John Micheal Montgomery. Not only is it religious, but it contains a very strong "Atheists are eeeeeeeeeeeevil" message to boot.:mad:

[LordoftheLeftHand]

Plus the song begs the questions:

1) Is Jesus really Cruise Control?
2) How does this affect anti-lock brakes? Are they tools of the devil or another sign of Jesus?
4) Does anybody own the rights to 'Cruise Control Jesus,' because that would make a rocking band name?

Hmmm this gives me an idea. Ever seen that parody website the offers to take care of Christian's pets after the rapture? How about a device that gently applies the brakes should it detect that the driver has gone missing?

"Cruise Control Jesus".... LOL

LLH

[T'ai Chi]

I don't think I can ever feel safe driving in poor weather knowing that someone might take the song too seriously...


I feel the same way (not) when I hear the Beatles 'Devil in Her Heart', with scary, if someone takes it literally, lyrics like

"She's gonna tear your heart apart"

Good thing people don't take things like this in songs literally.

[Zbu]

[COLOR=black]Hmmm this gives me an idea. Ever seen that parody website the offers to take care of Christian's pets after the rapture? How about a device that gently applies the brakes should it detect that the driver has gone missing?

Cruise Control Jesus".... LOL

Hey, he's the Anti-Lock Salvation in the gas tank of your heart. ;)

And I hate to mention this, but why would someone realize their life has been wasted when they happen upon black ice? Even after a hard year, what the hell? Get some perspective, you stupid chump.

[Serenity]

http://members.aol.com/jesusimages/ImagesJan05/Trucker_.jpg
Relax my son, some of my best work has been performed in rest areas.

[scotth]

Relax my son, some of my best work has been performed in rest areas.

Now that is funny.

[Dark Jaguar]

I agree this sing is stupid, but I am biased since I don't like Country music anyway. The religious country song I found really disturbing is The Little Girl (http://www.lyrics007.com/John%20Michael%20Montgomery%20Lyrics/The%20Little%20Girl%20Lyrics.html) by John Micheal Montgomery. Not only is it religious, but it contains a very strong "Atheists are eeeeeeeeeeeevil" message to boot.:mad:

I had no idea being an atheist meant violence and hatred. How about that.

[Angus McPresley]

I had no idea being an atheist meant violence and hatred. How about that.


C'mon, no one who believes in God would ever drink, do drugs, neglect their child, or get violent.

[Orangutango]

Quick question...

Can anybody see my Jesus caption image in my last post? It shows up on my screen, but my girlfriend says all she gets is a red X on her computer (she can see everyone else's images, though)

[advancedatheist]

It seems like Jesus would have trouble grasping things with those nail wounds.

[Ausmerican]

Orangutango:
Red X for me too oh small cute furry one.

[Euromutt]

Huh. Jesus might be "With You Always" but I'm betting he's not going to stop a state trooper for citing you for driving without a seatbelt.

[thatguywhojuggles]

http://members.aol.com/jesusimages/ImagesJan05/Trucker_.jpg
(the voice that John Stewart does when he's imitating George Bush)
Yeah, yeah, yeah... see that little kid playing on the side of the road? Run him over!!!! He! He! He! He!

[Alliebubs]

The scary thing is I've had this song stuck in my head before; almost like indoctrination!

*looking up to the sky and crying* Jesus, take the wheel! I'm really bloody drunk and need a designated driver to steer while I snort this here cocaine in my naked lap as I gamble and engage in pre-marital sex! Take the wheel!

:p

Edited to add to ask wouldn't it be great if Jesus had road rage?
Jesus: "Don't cut me off, bitch! My dad can SO kick your dad's ass!"

[Orangutango]

http://members.aol.com/jesusimages/ImagesJan05/Trucker_.jpg

"Ok, Jim-Bob... 10 points for hitting that rabbi crossing the street. It's ok... he's going to a much, better place..."mumblemumble don't believe I'm the messiah, eh Mr. know-it-all rabbi? Let's see you try and ignore me now, you son of a..."Ok, Jim-Bob... FLOOR IT!"

[Serenity]

Ok, you've inspired me to do one last caption. This thread should probably be in the Humor section though.
http://members.aol.com/jesusimages/ImagesJan05/Trucker_.jpg
Listen up Candy Cane! You know the unwritten rules of the road.
It’s your “rite of passage” to accept the Eucharist trucker-style.
Now take your arm off the steering wheel and work the “grapes” so we can have us some “Jesus Juice”.

[LostAngeles]

As stupid as this sounds, taking hands off the wheel would be a big improvement over what most people do when they hit black ice (or any other TERRIBLY slick surface while driving)....

Actually, for a lot of people, telling them to put the car in neutral and don't touch the steering wheel until they get to better traction would save a lot of wrecks. Most of them generally lose control when they 'react' after hitting something really slick.

Cool... Corrected again.

[Jekyll]

http://members.aol.com/jesusimages/ImagesJan05/Trucker_.jpg
"Can you hear the lambs screaming Clarrise?"

[Correa Neto]

http://members.aol.com/jesusimages/ImagesJan05/Trucker_.jpg
Relax my son, some of my best work has been performed in rest areas.
See what happens when you give a ride to a hippie?

[Beleth]

As stupid as this sounds, taking hands off the wheel would be a big improvement over what most people do when they hit black ice (or any other TERRIBLY slick surface while driving)....
What do most people do?

[scotth]

What do most people do?

Well, when I lived in Indiana (where snow and ice are a regular occurance) most people did pretty well driving.

Now that I live in North Texas..... the errors are mostly jamming on the brakes or jerking the steering wheel around (because they are startled?).

I will say though, when it gets slick in Texas, it is usually spectularly slick as the it isn't cold enough for the ice not to have a thin layer of water on it as well.

[Serenity]

See what happens when you give a ride to a hippie?:D It can get worse.

http://f2.grp.yahoofs.com/v1/YOsVRKEL2U91b6frd1rRW-hdtwE0nuf4lp0BcBOcptOyKqNfCqlyKVRV-x7TzZ1uABBuKK-yqMPkSE1X4CySEw/Trucker.JPG

Follow me my son and dismiss those other false prophets visiting you in the night. Our souls have crossed paths for a reason.

<A strangely familiar face peers in >

Psst! You listen to him Mack and the only “Crossing Over” you’ll be doing with your backseat playmate is playing “dress up”; frolicking around in your lily-white dress prancing to the Lambada in the confines of your motel room.
So whaddaya want, your windows or your brain washed for $20 bucks?

[Serenity]

It can get worse. :D

http://f2.grp.yahoofs.com/v1/oCMWRP1QOJQKbEYT0Pz7aZAuQoQagDZATYixE86NJ5NaM-Oi1NV9k3thrnetMHotEfYz7daukpt2Riqz7q5ecQ/Trucker.JPG

Follow me my son, forget the other false prophets. Our souls have crossed paths for a reason.

<A strangely familiar face peers in >

Psst! You listen to him Mack and the only “Crossing Over” you’ll be doing with your backseat playmate is playing “dress up”; frolicking around in your lily-white dress prancing to the Lambada in the confines of your motel room.
So whaddaya want, your windows or your brain washed for $20 bucks?

[LostAngeles]

http://f2.grp.yahoofs.com/v1/oCMWRP1QOJQKbEYT0Pz7aZAuQoQagDZATYixE86NJ5NaM-Oi1NV9k3thrnetMHotEfYz7daukpt2Riqz7q5ecQ/Trucker.JPG

"Jesus! There's a giant douche at my car window!"
"Hush, my son. Just look ahead and don't make eye contact."
"Oh Jesus, Oh Jesus..."
"The light with change soon."
"Heeey Buddy... Will talk t' th'dead f'r food..."
"Help me Jesus..."

[fsol]

I always liked this song.


I was driving home early Sunday morning through Bakersfield
Listening to gospel music on the colored radio station
And the preacher said, "You know you always have the
Lord by your side"


And I was so pleased to be informed of this that I ran
Twenty red lights in his honor
Thank you Jesus, thank you lord



Far Away Eyes by the Rolling Stones.

[Marquis de Carabas]

http://members.aol.com/jesusimages/ImagesJan05/Trucker_.jpg
"That's right, Tim. Park the Ryder right in front of the building."

[advancedatheist]

My aunt, Frances Williams, worked for HUD in Oklahoma City and died in the bombing of the Murrah Building. While I tried to follow McVeigh's trial long-distance (I lived in California at the time), I never got a good sense about his religious beliefs. Did McVeigh profess some fundamentalist form of christianity?
http://members.aol.com/jesusimages/ImagesJan05/Trucker_.jpg
"That's right, Tim. Park the Ryder right in front of the building."

[Orb]

Alan Jackson: Where were you when they built the ladder to heaven?
Did it make you feel like cryin', or did you think it was kind of gay?

[Marquis de Carabas]

My aunt, Frances Williams, worked for HUD in Oklahoma City and died in the bombing of the Murrah Building. While I tried to follow McVeigh's trial long-distance (I lived in California at the time), I never got a good sense about his religious beliefs. Did McVeigh profess some fundamentalist form of christianity?
TIME: Are you religious?

MCVEIGH: I was raised Catholic. I was confirmed Catholic (received the sacrament of confirmation). Through my military years, I sort of lost touch with the religion. I never really picked it up, however I do maintain core beliefs.

Source (http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,109478,00.html)

[dvdmx]

mmm excuse me, but, what is black ice?

[Marquis de Carabas]

mmm excuse me, but, what is black ice?
A software company (http://www.blackice.com/).

[advancedatheist]

Speaking of a gay subtext:

http://members.aol.com/jesusimages/ImagesJan05/Bodybuilder_.jpg[/QUOTe]

[LostAngeles]

mmm excuse me, but, what is black ice?

How God gets his giggles.

http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mblackice.html

Black ice, also called glare ice or clear ice, is a thin layer of ice on the roadway. Any ice is dangerous to drive on because it's so slippery (more later on why), but black ice is especially insidious because a road covered with it looks merely wet, not icy. Black ice isn't really black, of course, but it's so thin and transparent that the dark color of the pavement shows through. And it really is dangerous to drive on. Statistics from Sweden show that the automobile accident rate there is five times higher on roads covered with black ice than on dry pavement, four times higher than on wet pavement, and twice as high as on pavement covered with packed snow.

[DigitalHoser]

Okay, the pics are creepin me out. The added captions even more so.

As for the song, I personally can't stand it. I hate country with a VENGANCE. Not as much as disco, but still, country SUCKS.

Back on topic, If I lost control of my vehicle, ( and I have been there,) I'd bust my butt trying to regain control and also throw on my 4 Wheel Drive and get some shift in the power train to the middle. However, leaving it up to God to regain control of my truck is not my idea of faith in Him. God fully intended for each person to do his/her best to take care of each problem that arises against them, and to get it in gear. After all, I may be a Christian, but I'm not so stupid that I'm going to let go of the steering wheel of my out-of-control car and let it cream some other poor sod on his way to the local Hooters. (Talk about good chow. And hot chicks.) I mean come on, that situation begs a What Would You Do.

[advancedatheist]

The danger this song poses reminds me of the news stories I heard after the film Titanic came out, when the companies which run cruise ships had to warn their idiot passengers not to stand on the bows like Leo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet. If Underwood made a video of this song, it wouldn't surprise me if some christian sheep interpret it as a driver's training video the next time they lose control of their vehicles.

[billydkid]

See what happens when you give a ride to a hippie?

Funny, that brings back a memory from my youth. This was back in the day when hair length on males was hugely controversial. I was a long haired "hippie" and subject to much abuse because of it. People who weren't alive and aware during those years don't realize how much genuine turmoil there was in this country. At any rate, I remember reading an article in one of those religious publications - The Watch Tower or somthing like it - written by some gym teacher citing scripture which proved that Jesus in fact wore a crew cut and discredited any notion that having long hair might not be necessarily sinful.

[shecky]

http://members.aol.com/jesusimages/ImagesJan05/Surgeon_.jpg

Damn filthy hippie can't even be bothered to scrub up.

[shecky]

http://members.aol.com/jesusimages/ImagesJan05/Clown_.jpg

Jesus is easily entertained.

[shecky]

http://members.aol.com/jesusimages/ImagesJan05/Welder_.jpg

Dammit, Jesus! You made me f**k this up!

[shecky]

http://members.aol.com/jesusimages/ImagesJan05/Expectant_.jpg

"Baby, I told you I'd pay for the abortion."

"With you always, just like every other guy in town."

[LostAngeles]

http://members.aol.com/jesusimages/ImagesJan05/Surgeon_.jpg

JESUS IS MY BISHY!*

*Bishy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bishounen)

[LostAngeles]

http://members.aol.com/jesusimages/ImagesJan05/Surgeon_.jpg

"Uh, Lord. No offense, but he has a DNR. That, and I don't think his insurance covers You."

[LostAngeles]

http://members.aol.com/jesusimages/ImagesJan05/Expectant_.jpg

"Whoo-hoo! Stolen cantelope for dinner!"

[Beerina]

...she didn't pay attention
She was going way to fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass

...

She threw her hands up in the air

Jesus take the wheel


Actually, within the Christian theological framework, this counts as "putting God to the test", which you're not supposed to do. Therefore they got what was going to come to them as per pure physics.

Which, at the end of the song, was their safety. No intervention from any supernatural entities, per true Christian theology.



And if Jesus "took the wheel", well, perhaps he could get the vehicle under control by turning into the direction of the skid, but if you're spinning 'round and 'round and 'round, that is much more difficult than it looked. However, Jesus, being God, has a fine supercomputer for a brain, and will know the optimal way to recover from a skid even in that harrowing situation.

But if Jesus really loved her and the baby, shouldn't he have let them die so they'd both go to Heaven? We'll assume she was Heaven-bound given Jesus's desire to help her. And also that the baby was Heaven bound, not discovering pr0n on the Internet, yet. So by saving their mortal lives, didn't Jesus thus open both of them up to a greater risk of eternal damnation in the [b]HELLFIRE? Should that be considered a kind thing for him to do?

I mean, by the Pascal's Wager concept, the inverse is true: NOT killing someone, or NOT allowing them to die when they are currently in a state of grace opens them up to an infinity of pain. By Beerina's Corollary, death should be the preferred option when in a state of grace. While it is true one shouldn't suicide because that is a sin, allowing others to die, or even murdering them, is the logical thing to due because even if your soul is lost because of the killing, theirs is saved, and wouldn't a kind person sacrifice their eternal soul to guarantee someone else's eternal sould is saved? And that is good, and must be worth something, methinks.

[fishbait]

http://members.aol.com/JesusImages/ImagesJan05/Farmer_.jpg
"OK, Jesus, this takes care of the cowfeed. Now let's go shovel some of your *********".

[Zbu]

All these pictures prove that Jesus just has too much time on his hands. Get a hobby!

[Serenity]

I'm going to try this again with a fresh Pic!
http://x5c.xanga.com/fecb43051323043764171/w29643114.jpg


<J Edwards> Hey Pal, want your windows washed? Yeah it's me. I'll never forgive Randi for ruining my gig.

<Jesus> Follow me my son and forget the false prophet in the window.

<J Edwards> Listen to him, Bud, and the only “Crossing Over” you’ll be doing is playing "Dress-up" with backseat Buddy Christ; frolicking around in your French-maid dress in some cheap motel.

So whaddaya want, your windows or your brain washed for $20 bucks?

[Orangutango]

http://x57.xanga.com/7a8b665bd913243952926/w29762412.jpg

"No, really... I can change your mother's milk into wine!"

[Marquis de Carabas]

http://x57.xanga.com/7a8b665bd913243952926/w29762412.jpg
You said you were on the Pill!

[Orangutango]

http://xb2.xanga.com/fedb9a506833543955417/m29763779.jpg
"Hey... don't cry, little girl! It's Pogo the Clown! Clowns are good and happy people that love to make kids laugh and laugh! Isn't that right Mr... Gacy, did you say...?"

[billydkid]

So, is Jesus doing all these things simultaneously? Say you're at a soccer game, are there a whole bunch of Jesuses out there on there on the soccer field looking after each of the soccer players?

[Marquis de Carabas]

So, is Jesus doing all these things simultaneously? Say you're at a soccer game, are there a whole bunch of Jesuses out there on there on the soccer field looking after each of the soccer players?
Don't be silly! Can you imagine the stench of all those hippies?

[KingMerv00]

"No Jesus, steer INTO the skid!"

[DigitalHoser]

Jesus doesn't have clones (After all, all fundies scream about cloning.)

He uses guardian angels, though for Michael Jackson's case, he ought to push the "Smite" key on the keyboard until it breaks. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


Sorry. Disturbed moment.

[c4ts]

It was still getting colder when she drove right off the shoulder
And the car fell to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby leave the windshield flying like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pra-

Jesus took the wheel
He said he was sober
Cause I lost my permit on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save him from his godly drivin'
Jesus take the wheel

[shalomsteph]

C'mon, no one who believes in God would ever drink, do drugs, neglect their child, or get violent.

Didn't the whole concept of corporal punishment (well, I deem that child abuse) come from the Bible? That's why Xtians beat their kids to the voice of James Dobson and the sound of Amazing Grace!

[LW]

Didn't the whole concept of corporal punishment (well, I deem that child abuse) come from the Bible?

No.

[kurious_kathy]

Actually, within the Christian theological framework, this counts as "putting God to the test", which you're not supposed to do. Therefore they got what was going to come to them as per pure physics.

Which, at the end of the song, was their safety. No intervention from any supernatural entities, per true Christian theology.



And if Jesus "took the wheel", well, perhaps he could get the vehicle under control by turning into the direction of the skid, but if you're spinning 'round and 'round and 'round, that is much more difficult than it looked. However, Jesus, being God, has a fine supercomputer for a brain, and will know the optimal way to recover from a skid even in that harrowing situation.

But if Jesus really loved her and the baby, shouldn't he have let them die so they'd both go to Heaven? We'll assume she was Heaven-bound given Jesus's desire to help her. And also that the baby was Heaven bound, not discovering pr0n on the Internet, yet. So by saving their mortal lives, didn't Jesus thus open both of them up to a greater risk of eternal damnation in the [b]HELLFIRE? Should that be considered a kind thing for him to do?

I mean, by the Pascal's Wager concept, the inverse is true: NOT killing someone, or NOT allowing them to die when they are currently in a state of grace opens them up to an infinity of pain. By Beerina's Corollary, death should be the preferred option when in a state of grace. While it is true one shouldn't suicide because that is a sin, allowing others to die, or even murdering them, is the logical thing to due because even if your soul is lost because of the killing, theirs is saved, and wouldn't a kind person sacrifice their eternal soul to guarantee someone else's eternal sould is saved? And that is good, and must be worth something, methinks.
No I disagree with you on all of this statement. It's not for us to know all the reasons God allows things to happen or not happen to people. All I know is he got my attention through something very similar to the story in this song!

Except for me I wasn't spinning around on black ice. I spun out in the middle of the freeway in the flow of traffic. I probably should have died, but instead I just ended up in a ditch with a flat tire!

It's because of God's grace and mercy that I know I am still alive today.
And I am also so very thankful no one else was hurt either! I can best describe this unpleasant memory as my wake up call!
And most of you all ready know by now that Jesus really has taken the wheel for me. I want God in the drivers seat.(I just hope I will learn not to be a back seat driver, nobody likes them.)

[wolfgirl]

I spun out in the middle of the freeway in the flow of traffic. I probably should have died, but instead I just ended up in a ditch with a flat tire!

It's because of God's grace and mercy that I know I am still alive today."Probably should have died." Everyone who has an accident or spins out doesn't die. Why do you think you should have died instead of you just had a lucky break and were one of those who didn't die?

And how do you suppose this type of arrogance makes people feel who have lost a loved one to an accident? God saved you, but he didn't bother saving their loved one. You're special. God loves you. They must not have been good enough or prayed hard enough. It makes me sick to hear people claiming God saved them or someone they loved because it means he didn't bother to save someone else in the same circumstance.

Every time someone dies in an accident, it's "God's will." Everytime someone doesn't die in an accident, "God saved them." How convenient.

Why did he let the accident happen in the first place, just so he could save you? If it was to get your attention, why hasn't he done that to me to get my attention? Oh, yeah, I forgot, you're special. God loves you.

I know, I know, who are we to question God's wisdom; he works in mysterious ways; we can't understand his plan for us. Blah, blah, blah.

[Zbu]

It was still getting colder when she drove right off the shoulder
And the car fell to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby leave the windshield flying like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pra-

Jesus took the wheel
He said he was sober
Cause I lost my permit on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save him from his godly drivin'
Jesus take the wheel

I told you! The man is over 2000 years old, doesn't know how to use a stick, may not have ever existed, is a bigger fan of heavy metal than country... ;)

[morningstar2651]

Jesus is not my designated driver.

According to the Bible, his first miracle occurs when he goes to this wedding and they drink so much that they run out of wine! Being an allegedly omnibenevolent omnipotent incarnate deity, he supposedly transformed water into wine so they could drink even more!

[kurious_kathy]

"Probably should have died." Everyone who has an accident or spins out doesn't die. Why do you think you should have died instead of you just had a lucky break and were one of those who didn't die?

And how do you suppose this type of arrogance makes people feel who have lost a loved one to an accident? God saved you, but he didn't bother saving their loved one. You're special. God loves you. They must not have been good enough or prayed hard enough. It makes me sick to hear people claiming God saved them or someone they loved because it means he didn't bother to save someone else in the same circumstance.

Every time someone dies in an accident, it's "God's will." Everytime someone doesn't die in an accident, "God saved them." How convenient.

Why did he let the accident happen in the first place, just so he could save you? If it was to get your attention, why hasn't he done that to me to get my attention? Oh, yeah, I forgot, you're special. God loves you.

I know, I know, who are we to question God's wisdom; he works in mysterious ways; we can't understand his plan for us. Blah, blah, blah.
Hi Wolfgirl, I'm sorry you are taking my sharing wrong. I never said God loves me more than anyone else. Yes, bad thing happen to good people, none of us have all the answers to why.
All I can hope for is that God would reveal himself to you too. I know he loves all of us. It's just some believe it, and others don't. I have a hard time understanding why people do not know that God is Love. I beleive he is always knocking of everyones hearts door. The difference is whether we invite him in!
Revelations 3:20...
'Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.

[Genesius]

Hi Wolfgirl, I'm sorry you are taking my sharing wrong. I never said God loves me more than anyone else. Yes, bad thing happen to good people, none of us have all the answers to why.
All I can hope for is that God would reveal himself to you too. I know he loves all of us. It's just some believe it, and others don't. I have a hard time understanding why people do not know that God is Love. I beleive he is always knocking of everyones hearts door. The difference is whether we invite him in!
Revelations 3:20...
'Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.

Obviously your God has a weak and feeble knock. I would imagine the all-powerful Creator of the Universe would be able to knock loudly enough that no one could possibly miss it.

Perhaps He should try ringing the doorbell of everyone's heart's door instead. That might get a few more people's attention.

:p

[bluess]

Ummm ....

kk, in another thread you said Jesus was revealed to you when you were almost beaten to death by the guy you were seeing when you and ChristianDude were separated.

So, did Jesus have to reveal himself to you twice?

Or do you change your revelation story to one-up whatever tragedy you're hearing about?

[SuperCoolGuy]

Except for me I wasn't spinning around on black ice. I spun out in the middle of the freeway in the flow of traffic. I probably should have died, but instead I just ended up in a ditch with a flat tire!

It's because of God's grace and mercy that I know I am still alive today.
And I am also so very thankful no one else was hurt either! I can best describe this unpleasant memory as my wake up call!


No offense, but I would've thought your wake up call was your withdrawl experience from "crank".

From:
http://www.savedbyloveministries.org/

"It was at this point when I may have been either demon possessed or dead that Jesus jumped in and kicked the devil out of my life. I know what it means to be saved. I’ll never forget hearing my Saviors voice after being stalked by demons. While I lay there in my bed I remember wondering what the heck was happening, and all of a sudden I felt a thug in my body. I asked myself what was that? And I will never forget when I heard His voice say ”Someone you forgot about a very long time ago!” My Jesus had jumped into my life and shewed all those evil spirits away that had taunted me for so long. At this point I knew who God was and I had reason to fear Him."

[Pae]

Um, are you sure it's to be interpreted literally? I think by ''Take the wheel'' she means she wants Jesus to control her life and to guide her.

Just like Incubus's song (an anti-religion song, according to lead singer Brandon Boyd) ''Drive''.

Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear.
And I can't help but ask myself how much I'll let the
Fear take the wheel and steer.
It's driven me before, and it seems to have a vague, haunting
mass appeal.
But lately I am beginning to find that
I should be the one behind the wheel.
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there with open arms and open
eyes.
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
I'll be there
So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive
Will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive?
It's driven me before and it seems to be the way that everyone
else gets around.
But lately I'm beginning to find that
When I drive myself my light is found.
So whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there with open arms and
open eyes. Yeah.
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
I'll be there
Would you choose water over wine...
Hold the wheel and drive?
So whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there with open arms and
open eyes. Yeah.
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
I'll be there

[Genesius]

No offense, but I would've thought your wake up call was your withdrawl experience from "crank".

From:
http://www.savedbyloveministries.org/

"It was at this point when I may have been either demon possessed or dead that Jesus jumped in and kicked the devil out of my life. I know what it means to be saved. I’ll never forget hearing my Saviors voice after being stalked by demons. While I lay there in my bed I remember wondering what the heck was happening, and all of a sudden I felt a thug in my body. I asked myself what was that? And I will never forget when I heard His voice say ”Someone you forgot about a very long time ago!” My Jesus had jumped into my life and shewed all those evil spirits away that had taunted me for so long. At this point I knew who God was and I had reason to fear Him."

Hearing voices, huh? Sounds like all that crank caused some psychotic delusions.

"Psychotic delusions". . . as good a definition of the religious experience as I've heard in a while.

[c4ts]

I told you! The man is over 2000 years old, doesn't know how to use a stick, may not have ever existed, is a bigger fan of heavy metal than country... ;)

He may have taken the wheel but the radio knob is mine!

[shalomsteph]

He may have taken the wheel but the radio knob is mine!

:D
Good one. Jesus would probably want to hear all of the songs about Him.

That's it!!! Carly Simon wasn't singing about Warren Beatty! She was singing about Jesus! He's so vain...

[Silly Green Monkey]

That's it!!! Carly Simon wasn't singing about Warren Beatty! She was singing about Jesus! He's so vain...


That was a FEMALE?

[kurious_kathy]

Hearing voices, huh? Sounds like all that crank caused some psychotic delusions.

"Psychotic delusions". . . as good a definition of the religious experience as I've heard in a while.
Uh No. The world does not even validate the supernatural, but God is truely working behind the scenes.
True, getting off the meds and crank was hard and I'm sure my body and mind went through heavy duty detox, but it's been over 18 months now and I am in good health even though I still have physical medical problems to get taken care of. I go to my orthopedist tomorrow to see if I fuse my neck or wait till they may have a better option for surgery in the future?

The one thing I can tell you is it's God's grace working in my life helping me endure things that sometime are difficult, like living with chronic pain. Degenertive Disk disease may be one of my own consequences from my past sin. I'm sure crank didn't help it. But my God is big enough to forgive me and help me get through the things I must go through in life!

The great thing is I have learned to surrender my will and my life to Him now. Sometimes trusting is the best thing we can do! I know my life is in His hands.
I just wish I hadn't been such a rebellious person in the past. My pagan days are history now. I am greatful now to know God has forgiven me, because I have truely repented.

[Freethinker]

I go to my orthopedist tomorrow to see if I fuse my neck or wait till they may have a better option for surgery in the future?



I'd have thought the doctor would have been a last resort for such a strong believer in prayer.;) Seriously, I hope you find some relief. Chronic pain can be a serious issue with your mental well-being, and since you have a history of substance abuse, that can't be good. I won't, however, be praying for you, but I do wish you well.

[bluess]

kk - you haven't answered my question. What brought you to Jesus? So far, you have given three versions:
1. Crank addiction
2. Getting beaten by a guy you were seeing when split from ChristianDude
3. Almost dying in a car accident.

Which one?

[DigitalHoser]

bluess, you're talking about Kathy. She NEVER gives a straight answer. You should know that by now.

[SuperCoolGuy]

kk - you haven't answered my question. What brought you to Jesus? So far, you have given three versions:
1. Crank addiction
2. Getting beaten by a guy you were seeing when split from ChristianDude
3. Almost dying in a car accident.

Which one?

God bless you bluess for staying on track.

[SuperCoolGuy]

But my God is big enough to forgive me and help me get through the things I must go through in life!

In fact, I consider God big enough to forgive anyone anyway he wishes. I wish you could grant God that amount of respect.

[wolfgirl]

The one thing I can tell you is it's God's grace working in my life helping me endure things that sometime are difficult, like living with chronic pain.How do you suppose those of us who don't believe in your god manage to endure things? We've all endured bad things, I'd wager, whether they be physical or emotional.

Christopher Reeve was an atheist to his dying day, yet he lived his life throughout his struggle with paralysis with grace and dignity and even humor. His strength came from within and from the love and support of his family and friends.

People often find strength within themselves that they were unaware they even had. Some attribute this to a supernatural being; others recognize it for what it is, inner strength.

[Zbu]

How do you suppose those of us who don't believe in your god manage to endure things? We've all endured bad things, I'd wager, whether they be physical or emotional.

Christopher Reeve was an atheist to his dying day, yet he lived his life throughout his struggle with paralysis with grace and dignity and even humor. His strength came from within and from the love and support of his family and friends.

People often find strength within themselves that they were unaware they even had. Some attribute this to a supernatural being; others recognize it for what it is, inner strength.

Hell yeah. This is where religion really fails: in asking for help for somebody who is real is not a bad thing, religion puts a spin that everybody is inherently weak so they have to rely on a higher being as a crutch. People are stronger than they think. Why the hell they need to excuse that to go back to thinking of themselves as terminal victims in need of some phony salvation is the biggest nigh-philosophical question of this day and age.

[kurious_kathy]

Hell yeah. This is where religion really fails: in asking for help for somebody who is real is not a bad thing, religion puts a spin that everybody is inherently weak so they have to rely on a higher being as a crutch. People are stronger than they think. Why the hell they need to excuse that to go back to thinking of themselves as terminal victims in need of some phony salvation is the biggest nigh-philosophical question of this day and age.
All I can say to this response is...those of us that choose to sow to the flesh will reap destruction, and those that sow to the spirit will reap eternal life.
I have had the pleasure of living life on both sides now. What faith offers is way more than the world does. Your response tells me you are a very worldy person who thinks all there is to life is here and now. This simply isn't true.

The world can have it's religion, I just want Jesus!

What does it profit a man if he gain the world but lose his soul? I've been there, done that, and it got me no where but on the wrong side of right. By believing God is who He says He is, and God can do what He says He can do, I have found peace that this world just cannot give to a person.

[Kopji]

heh. I just play the song backwards and the road dries out, her husband comes back, the streetlights pop back on, and she drives a new SUV instead of a 1973 Ford pickup.


Caution: Country music may be hazardous to your health.

Country music is hypothesized to nurture a suicidal mood through its concerns with problems common in the suicidal population, such as marital discord, alcohol abuse, and alienation from work. The results of a multiple regression analysis of 49 metropolitan areas show that the greater the airtime devoted to country music, the greater the white suicide rate. The effect is independent of divorce, southernness, poverty, and gun availability. The existence of a country music subculture is thought to reinforce the link between country music and suicide. Our model explains 51% of the variance in urban white suicide rates.
http://www.questia.com/PM.qst?a=o&d=95183303

:D

[SuperCoolGuy]

I have had the pleasure of living life on both sides now. What faith offers is way more than the world does. Your response tells me you are a very worldy person who thinks all there is to life is here and now. This simply isn't true.

Personal experience as evidence. Again.

However, you might want to acknowledge the fact that your recollection of personal experiences is being called into question:

kk - you haven't answered my question. What brought you to Jesus? So far, you have given three versions:
1. Crank addiction
2. Getting beaten by a guy you were seeing when split from ChristianDude
3. Almost dying in a car accident.

Which one?

[kurious_kathy]

Personal experience as evidence. Again.

However, you might want to acknowledge the fact that your recollection of personal experiences is being called into question:
Actually I was on several meds given to me by my doctor along with a little crank and alcohol. Wasn't very smart of me but I was really hurting inside and guess I didn't see how the darkness in my life was trying to take me over. People who use are really crying out for help. I would best explain it as a God shaped hole.
Now I have found I am spiritually alive a filled with light. No more cause for escaping reality. Not that life is always easy or painless, but faith in the one who created me means I'm never alone!
One thing I am able to share now with others who may at times feel powerless about something, is that God really is there, and He is listening!

[Pauliesonne]

I can only think of one insult that's original and offensive enough to say to you, KK, so here it is;

Barbara Streisand