Bird Flu is God's Wrath for Gay Liberation

[headscratcher4]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060321/od_nm/israel_birdflu_dc;_ylt=AoMfQylBrkaPFeEyDt030W.s0NU E;_ylu=X3oDMTA3NW1oMDRpBHNlYwM3NTc-

Ok, there are religious nuts in other countries too....

[Upchurch]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060321/od_nm/israel_birdflu_dc;_ylt=AoMfQylBrkaPFeEyDt030W.s0NU E;_ylu=X3oDMTA3NW1oMDRpBHNlYwM3NTc-

Ok, there are religious nuts in other countries too....
Hangnails are God's wrath for those who catch the gay.

[Manny]

So wait. The birds are gay? Or God is punishing the birds to warn us? Or He's punishing us by causing the price of turkey to increase (it's not working)? Geez, this is all so confusing. Back in the day the Lord knew how to do a plague right!

[headscratcher4]

yes, the birds are gay. I think that must be the answer.

[KelvinG]

I can't wait until the day that we invent a "straight" drug to give to all gay people, and then God will stop these nasty natural disasters and ugly diseases from happening.

[The Central Scrutinizer]

Bird Flu is God's Wrath for Gay Liberation

I thought this was common knowledge.

[bob_kark]

So wait. The birds are gay? Or God is punishing the birds to warn us? Or He's punishing us by causing the price of turkey to increase (it's not working)? Geez, this is all so confusing. Back in the day the Lord knew how to do a plague right!

You've apparently never heard the song Lesbian Seagulls.

[KelvinG]

I thought this was common knowledge.

I guess some of us aren't on God's group e-mail list.

I hate being left out.

I'll e-mail god@heaven.com and see if he can add me.

[bjb]

Did anyone else notice this part?:

[One of the parties aired an election commercial depicting two brides kissing. Some campaign advertisements also called for homosexual marriages to be legalized in Israel.

Basri is a prominent Kabbalist and author of commentaries on the Zohar, the main Kabbalah mystical text. ]

So Kabbalah forbids girls to kiss? And they wanted Madonna to sign up?

[bob_kark]

Did anyone else notice this part?:

[One of the parties aired an election commercial depicting two brides kissing. Some campaign advertisements also called for homosexual marriages to be legalized in Israel.

Basri is a prominent Kabbalist and author of commentaries on the Zohar, the main Kabbalah mystical text. ]

So Kabbalah forbids girls to kiss? And they wanted Madonna to sign up?

Madonna is into fake Kabbalah, not the real stuff. I think fake Kabbalah enjoys lesbian kissing as much as the rest of us.

[TragicMonkey]

Did anyone else notice this part?:

[One of the parties aired an election commercial depicting two brides kissing. Some campaign advertisements also called for homosexual marriages to be legalized in Israel.

Basri is a prominent Kabbalist and author of commentaries on the Zohar, the main Kabbalah mystical text. ]

So Kabbalah forbids girls to kiss? And they wanted Madonna to sign up?

If those girls forked out twenty dollars for red string, they deserve to get to kiss whomever they want to.

[Mephisto]

I especially like this part:

"The bird flu outbreak stemmed from far-left political parties "strengthening and encouraging homosexuality," Rabbi Basri's son quoted him as saying."

I wonder if the world could be brought together by some sort of cultural-exchange - we trade Pat Robertson or Jerry Falwell for Rabbi Basri (for a month only), then maybe a mad Mullah for a month just to spice it up. ;)

[Melendwyr]

To paraphrase Robin Williams:
"Rabbi in more dire need of a homosexual blowjob!"

I nominate Luke T. to minister to the poor rabbi.

[Mephisto]

You've apparently never heard the song Lesbian Seagulls.

HA! I love that song! I've always been a big B&B fan!

Boy, God is going to have to change his tactics, he's hitting an all time low in the polls. It must be difficult causing tsunamis and hurricane floods to take care of debauchery in Asia and our Gulf coast, bird flu because of gays - he's going to have an awfully hard time selling himself as a "loving God."

Maybe Fred Phelps DOES know him? ;)

[Orangutango]

yes, the birds are gay. I think that must be the answer.

So that's why my parrot talks with a lisp...

[Pauliesonne]

if science stops it before anything EXTREMELY bad happens, then will that mean God failed?

[Orangutango]

if science stops it before anything EXTREMELY bad happens, then will that mean God failed?

<god> Curses! And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling scientists!

[Manny]

if science stops it before anything EXTREMELY bad happens, then will that mean God failed?If the thing every becomes transmittable human to human, we're only going to give treatment to people who sign a statement acknowleding that they are stricken with an organism which adapted through natural selection of random mutations better to survive and propagate. That should cut down on the world's supply of Goddiddits.

[Charlie Monoxide]

Why did god create gay people? Is it just an excuse to rain her wrath down on us?

Charlie (curse those queer eyes) Monoxide

[headscratcher4]

Why did god create gay people? Is it just an excuse to rain her wrath down on us?

Charlie (curse those queer eyes) Monoxide


Clearly, God didn't create "gay" people...the devil did. THe flu is just god's way of striking down otherwise innocent people who have not chosen to act in a biblically sanction manner and stone gay people for their sinning ways.

God, as we know, loves gay people. Its the innocent bird farmers who do nothing to stop gay liberation that god is pissed at.

[Orangutango]

I am soo confused! Now I don't know who I should blame! God? The Devil? Frank Purdue? McDonalds and their gay-hating chicken McNuggets?:boggled:

[The Central Scrutinizer]

Clearly, God didn't create "gay" people...the devil did. THe flu is just god's way of striking down otherwise innocent people who have not chosen to act in a biblically sanction manner and stone gay people for their sinning ways.

Wouldn't it be more efficient for god to just hit them with a bolt of lightning, or fry their brains with a Vulcan Mind Meld(tm)? I mean, why risk them not getting the bird flu, or if they do, not dying?

[Orangutango]

Wouldn't it be more efficient for god to just hit them with a bolt of lightning, or fry their brains with a Vulcan Mind Meld(tm)? I mean, why risk them not getting the bird flu, or if they do, not dying?

Shhhhhhh!!!! Don't give the Big Guy any ideas!!!!:scared: