Alien pendulums can dowse gods and underground ouija boards

[Mendeli]

My claimses is that of above and I will include inshurmountable proof here.

First. I will give you my shay-sho.

Shecond. I will give you handwavingsh!

http://www.rageboy.com/wave.gif


Nexht, I will preshent you with a shtrawman:

http://shoutluton.com/attractions/images/strawman.jpg


schome more handwaving

http://www.eden-project.co.uk/images/handwaving-b-Dscn2302_small.jpg

and here is a schtrawman that ish handwaving:

http://disted.tamu.edu/classes/telecom98s/eva/strawman.jpg


Mindses you, *hiccup* unlike many claimsh, I also have gathered the numerical data to back my theory up. I originally used these numbersh to prove that the moon made of cheese (http://www.bautforum.com/showthread.php?t=19467) ish.


Oh, one might argue that my theory is so far purely qualitative... so now I'm going to include some numbers to my theory. While I'm at it, I'll also add some dessert options! Here they are, in no particular order:

42, 15, 86, 10^googolplex, 3, 12, pie, cheesecake and woffles.


The above url will alsho feature one further cashe of handwaving, whichhhh... should finallyi prooves all my pointsh beyondses anys reashonables doubt... *hiccup* *collapse*

[brodski]

Thank god, finally a woo who makes sense :D

[c4ts]

I thought you weren't supposed to post while drunk.

[drfrank]

Love the strawman picture - I'm definitely going to save that for the next time that I'm arguing with a Creationist lol

[rjh01]

I think we should pay Mendell the $1m. Since no-one else is going to claim it.

Oh, just thought, we cannot do that. Ah well just have to report a good post.

[Mendeli]

Too bad, I was already planning the huge strawman I would have built with the $1M to ultimately prove my case.

Hmm, maybe I should set up a paypal account and see how big a waving hand could be built with those funds :D

edit: and for naysayers like c4ts. I challenge you to prove that alien pendulums can't dowse gods and ouija boards. I don't believe anyone has ever done that. Also be prepared to back your case up with numbers. I believe this (http://random.mat.sbg.ac.at/generators/) will be helpful for you!

[Sir Arthur Mortal Coyle]

Alien pendulums can dowse gods and underground ouija boards

Yes but can gods Ouija boards and pendulums dowse underground Aliens, not to mention Underground gods dowsing Alien ouija pendulums.

Also are you Shaun connery?

Please shay-sho

[Mendeli]

Oh boy. I didn't know who Shaun Connery is, but I googled and found something way more horrible than my Firefox has ever had to try to handle. Well, maybe during the early 1990s there were some "my first website"s that were almost equally horrid but those were still the days of whatever was the browser before IE ... uh...

I still have neutral feelings and opinions about Shaun Connery as a person, didn't get anything sensible about that site to form an opinion... so I don't comment about him at all... but that website I googled is just :eye-poppi :eek: .

Other than that, if there are gods then all alien pendulums are god's pendulums and of course gods can dowse since gods are omnpotent.

Also if omnipotent god created ouija boards and pendulums then they must be perfect and can therefore dowse underground Aliens. If not, then ouija boards and pendulums probably can't do much of anything on their own since many would claim these items need operator(s). Considering my own results I have gathered with ouija boards and pendulums over the years, I would tend to partially agree with the latter.

[Sir Arthur Mortal Coyle]

Actually I meant Sean Connery the Bond actor :blush:

Didn't Erich Von Daniken mention Aliens visiting our planet in ancient times posing as Gods, they could have left the Ouija boards buried under thousands of years of silt and rubble, waiting for the future where they could revisit us and dowse the ouija Boards with their pendulums.

I'm sure there'll be a photo in one of his books?




(Edited to correct even more spulling mustakes)

[Indolent Wretch]

42, 15, 86, 10^googolplex, 3, 12, pie, cheesecake and woffles

Pah, 10^googleplex proves nothing what you need is 'graham's number' to give your theory more potency:


The World Champion largest number, listed in the latest Guinness Book of Records, is an upper bound, derived by R. L. Graham, from a problem in a part of combinatorics called Ramsey theory.
Graham's number cannot be expressed using the conventional notation of powers, and powers of powers. If all the material in the universe were turned into pen and ink it would not be enough to write the number down. Consequently, this special notation, devised by Donald Knuth, is necessary.

3^3 means '3 cubed', as it often does in computer printouts.

3^^3 means 3^(3^3), or 3^27, which is already quite large: 3^27 = 7,625,597,484,987, but is still easily written, especially as a tower of 3 numbers: 333.

3^^^3 = 3^^(3^^3), however, is 3^^7,625,597,484,987 = 3^(7,625,597,484,987^7,625,597,484,987), which makes a tower of exponents 7,625,597,484,987 layers high.

3^^^^3 = 3^^^(3^^^3), of course. Even the tower of exponents is now unimaginably large in our usual notation, but Graham's number only starts here.

Consider the number 3^^^...^^^3 in which there are 3^^^^3 arrows. A largish number!

Next construct the number 3^^^...^^^3 where the number of arrows is the previous 3^^^...^^^3 number.

An incredible, ungraspable number! Yet we are only two steps away from the original ginormous 3^^^^3. Now continue this process, making the number of arrows in 3^^^...^^^3 equal to the number at the previous step, until you are 63 steps, yes, sixty-three, steps from 3^^^^3. That is Graham's number.

There is a twist in the tail of this true fairy story. Remember that Graham's number is an upper bound, just like Skewes' number. What is likely to be the actual answer to Graham's problem? Gardner quotes the opinions of the experts in Ramsey theory, who suspect that the answer is: 6

[Mendeli]

I will hereby add another number to the stack of my proof:

6

Oh right, the test protocol.

after the JREF has provided me with the alien pendulum, I will promptly place one god under one of ten buckets and will immediately begin dowsin with double blinding diapers placed around my head.

the number: 6 will be inscribed on the diapers

I will correctly go through buckets, find some empty ones and then finally find the one with the god and after that finding will find it as many times as is required. The place of the bucket with the god must not be changed.

Next up, the god will dowse one of the ouija boards and if the ouija board writes James Randi is Amazing after it has been dug up, I will not win the million.

A successful demonstration will involve me having diapers in my head and JREF agreeing it is paranormal to be that stupid.

[LostAngeles]

My claimses is that of above and I will include inshurmountable proof here.

First. I will give you my shay-sho.

Shecond. I will give you handwavingsh!

http://www.rageboy.com/wave.gif


Nexht, I will preshent you with a shtrawman:

http://shoutluton.com/attractions/images/strawman.jpg


schome more handwaving

http://www.eden-project.co.uk/images/handwaving-b-Dscn2302_small.jpg

and here is a schtrawman that ish handwaving:

http://disted.tamu.edu/classes/telecom98s/eva/strawman.jpg


Mindses you, *hiccup* unlike many claimsh, I also have gathered the numerical data to back my theory up. I originally used these numbersh to prove that the moon made of cheese (http://www.bautforum.com/showthread.php?t=19467) ish.



The above url will alsho feature one further cashe of handwaving, whichhhh... should finallyi prooves all my pointsh beyondses anys reashonables doubt... *hiccup* *collapse*

"Alien dows... Oh my no. No... That..."
*TWS kicks in* *clicks*
"HEE!"

Ah, thank you for filling in while the challenge is on hold.

(TWS = Train Wreck Syndrome. You know when you see something horrible or stupid and you have to keep looking at it? TWS.)

[rjh01]

April 1 was 3 days ago. You are only allowed to have April fool jokes on that morning.

This thread should be moved to the politics section where such stuff as this is put.

[Mendeli]

I also posted this a couple of days ago (besides, I always make my april fool's jokes 2nd april as a protest) but by all means feel free to move or delete as you see fit.

I was just having another of those silly breaks of mine :blush:
But at least if you study you can probably see that I'm consistently silly in other threads as well!

Wait... that's not good is it? TWS! I'm getting banana! :(


In any case. I never wanted to be a claimant to this challenge anyways. I always wanted to be... A LUMBERJACK!!!


Lumberjack Song - Monty Python
I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I work all day.

Chorus:
He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea

Mounties:
He cut down trees, he eat his lunch
He go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he go shopping and has buttered scones for tea.

Chorus:
He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I skip and jump
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars.

Mounties:
He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing and hangs around in bars?!

Chorus:
He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I wear high heels
Suspenders and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa!

Mounties:
He cuts down trees, he wears high heels?!
Suspenders...and a bra?!...

Just the Lumberjack:
I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa!!!

[Kimpatsu]

Yes but can gods Ouija boards and pendulums dowse underground Aliens, not to mention Underground gods dowsing Alien ouija pendulums.
There are gods in the London Underground? No wonder the place is so spooky!

[Mendeli]

Nope, Only Thor.

[brodski]

There are gods in the London Underground? No wonder the place is so spooky!
You shoudl read Neverwhere by Niel Gamin. MIND THE GAP...

[The Whether Man]

I thought Thor hung around in airports.

[Mendeli]

Yea that used to be the case but not after 9/11 though. They've increased the security and any Gods left alone unguarded are immediately inspected and disarmed.