Get your Ph.D. in Quantum Cybernetics

[Jimbo07]

You'll never guess what I found when I googled 'tachyon,' over my lunch break:

http://www.uisca.org/en/content/AreasofConcentration/Quantum-Cybernetics.asp

Wow! I couldn't make this stuff up!


Quantum Cybernetics Masters and Ph.D. Program

Quantum Cybernetics was developed by Dr. Andreas Jell.

Overview and Course Goals: This program is dedicated to support personal and global evolution by incorporating Tachyon and Verticality into Chinese acupuncture, naturopathic medicine, shamanism and modern quantum mechanics, thereby offering and representing professionalism on an academic level.

The term "Quantum Cybernetics" derives from a deep understanding of the complex regulation mechanisms of a human body-mind-spirit system (cybernetics) on the highest and of the deepest levels of creation (quantum level).

BTW, I can't figure out what Tachyonized means. Is it a trademarked process, or are they actually referring to particles with v > c?

[Kochanski]

Ooh, looks like a job for the Quantum police again :mad:

[Hellbound]

Wait...

Cybernetics is the "body-mind-spirit system"?

And here all this time I thought it was the process of replacing, repairing, or augmenting bodily functions with technological (mechanical and/or electrical) systems.

So, the movie "Cyborg" was really about the body-spirit-mind system?

[Jimbo07]

For reference:


Cybernetics is the study of communication and control, typically involving regulatory feedback, in living organisms, in machines, and in combinations of the two, for example, in sociotechnical systems.

The term cybernetics stems from the Greek Κυβερνήτης (kybernetes, steersman, governor, pilot, or rudder — the same root as government).

and


In physics, a quantum refers to an indivisible and perhaps elementary entity

So...

Quantum Cybernetics would be the, "study of an indivisible and perhaps elementary entity of communication and control, typically involving regulatory feedback, in living organisms, in machines, and in combinations of the two, for example, in sociotechnical systems."

:D

Think of it, the quantized particles of communication and control (probably involving biofeedback) could be called conons. ;)

[Hellbound]

Jimbo07:

Or even better...

CYBERTRONS!!!

More than meets the eye...

:D

[Aepervius]

Ooh, looks like a job for the Quantum police again :mad:


But let us be honest, except cordonning off the crime scene and sending the corpse back to the morgue, what can be done for such dead-beat theory ?

[Zep]

Re: PhD in Quantum Cybernetics.

I would like to receive my doctorate in Quantum Cybernetics as soon as you can send it. Please make it out to the name "Mr Nachos Zepellin".

I enclose a sum of money of a foreign denomination sufficient to cover the costs of the certificate and postage.

Sincerely,
Nachos Zepellin
Sydney, Australia

http://www.rba.gov.au/Museum/Timeline/_Images/1993_10_dollar_big.jpg

[Deetee]

The training is split into 3 periods, evolving both profound knowledge and practical experience of the study contents. It integrates and deepens tools and methods from Verticality, Tachyon Holistic Wellness and Tachopuncture, and harnesses modern and traditional systems of holistic health and spiritual evolution.

Year 2: The focus is on pathology, entropic deviations including different systems of diagnosis (laboratory, physiognomy, kirlian/GDV, entrainment techniques) and advanced application strategies and techniques (classical pain and organ managements, OS's, Tachopuncture, core entrainment, launching, and specific techniques developed by Dr, Jell - core porjection, time leap and S-HIP).

etc, etc...

I've emailed him for a program.
PS, is it just me, or have I wandered into an alternative universe?

[Zep]

You can get software these days that generates this stuff.

[joeybernard]

It's just you. At least that what my future self said after sending a cybernetic quantum tachyon message from the future. Oh, and don't worry about that growth. It's going to kill you next week anyway.

<rant>I think this kind of willful stupidity is the worst thing. It just gets my blood riled when someone like this actually makes money.</rant>

[JPK]

Good morning.
Quantum Cybernetics Masters
Isn't this the most important robotic golf tournament on a scale even smaller then the Miniture Cybernetics Masters?
JPK

[Kochanski]

Why do I feel like the Cybermen are behind all this :D

[drfrank]

As someone who's actually in the Cybernetics department at the University of Reading, I can state pretty authoritatively that Cybernetics is the `study of systems in man, machine and animal' (as originally defined by Wiener).

One of the main principles in the study of feedback and how to apply it to systems to get the result you want (hence Kybernetes/Steersman). Very little is about replacing bits of yourself with metal, contrary to popular belief ;)

Oddly enough, we don't consider the "body-mind-spirit system" because it's utter bollocks.

[Luke T.]

The training is split into 3 periods, evolving both profound knowledge and practical experience of the study contents. It integrates and deepens tools and methods from Verticality, Tachyon Holistic Wellness and Tachopuncture, and harnesses modern and traditional systems of holistic health and spiritual evolution.



Tachopuncture.

How does one train tachyons to penetrate the vict-, er, patient in the right places? How does the patient know she has been punctured by tachyons?

And since in the Wild, Wild World of Woo™ tachyons are involved in time travel, how is this aspect integrated into the whole acupuncture experience?

[lofgoernost]

How does the patient know she has been punctured by tachyons?


Maybe they provide a pair of those Geordie Laforge visors for a nominal fee :)

[Jimbo07]

Tachopuncture.

How does one train tachyons to penetrate the vict-, er, patient in the right places? How does the patient know she has been punctured by tachyons?



Ooh! And what if... what if, as of yet, no tachyon has been proven to physically exist?

I don't think the theory of special relativity precludes particles with v>c, it just requires special properties. However, like any other mathematical construct, is there a physical analog?

[sat556]

They also offer:

Tantra - Sacred sexuality for singles 101.

Why am I not suprised :D

http://www.uisca.org/en/content/Degree-Programs/Areas-of-Concentration-/Tantra-Sacred-Sexuality-for-Singles-101.asp

[Kochanski]

Tachopuncture.

How does one train tachyons to penetrate the vict-, er, patient in the right places? How does the patient know she has been punctured by tachyons?

And since in the Wild, Wild World of Woo™ tachyons are involved in time travel, how is this aspect integrated into the whole acupuncture experience?

Still sounds like the cybermen are involved, especially if they manage to steal the Tardis :D

[joeybernard]

I can see a great marketing angle in this. Pay $500 today and lay down on this table. Then tomorrow when you're gone, I'll fire up the tachopuncture machine and fire the tachyons backwards through time to today. Trust me. I promise to do this tomorrow. Really. Would I lie?

[YouBelieveWHAT?]

Tachopuncture - surely if you puncture a taco (mispelled, obviously) all of the contents run out over your shirt?

I'm sure that would get RoadToad angry?

YBW

[Roadtoad]

You know, I have an uncle who used to teach at CSULA. During his tenure there as a professor, they were trying to decide which profs to keep and which to let go, mainly because of budget cuts, and a lack of continuing funding. This hit his department particularly hard, and it's unfortunate, because he taught Spanish Language and Culture. (Oddly enough, he knows Gabriel Garcia Marquez personally. Sorry, I liked Death in the Time of Cholera better than One Hundred Years of Solitude.)

And then, we get this bullsh**.

We have schools that are losing money for serious and necessary research, and yet, there's sufficient money for this sort of f***ed up nonsense?

And then we wonder why Johnny Can't Read.

Yeah, I'm not happy. But it's got nothing to do with tacos.

[Dr Adequate]

You know, I have an uncle who used to teach at CSULA. During his tenure there as a professor, they were trying to decide which profs to keep and which to let go, mainly because of budget cuts, and a lack of continuing funding. This hit his department particularly hard, and it's unfortunate, because he taught Spanish Language and Culture. (Oddly enough, he knows Gabriel Garcia Marquez personally. Sorry, I liked Death in the Time of Cholera better than One Hundred Years of Solitude.)

And then, we get this bullsh**.

We have schools that are losing money for serious and necessary research, and yet, there's sufficient money for this sort of f***ed up nonsense?

And then we wonder why Johnny Can't Read. Relax --- it's not a real university.

[delphi_ote]

Combine words from two different fields and create your own woo ************!

Algorithmic Astrophysics

Cartographic Endocrinetics

Mycological Optics

Datum Volcanics

It's hours of fun for the whole family!

[c4ts]

Combine words from two different fields and create your own woo ************!

Algorithmic Astrophysics

Cartographic Endocrinetics

Mycological Optics

Datum Volcanics

It's hours of fun for the whole family!

Pathological Mechanics

Particle History

Atomic Gynecology

Geopolitical Astrophysics

Nonlinear Ballistics

Theoretical Pseudoscience

Fractal Tautology

I earned my degree in Theoretical Pseudoscience. Get yours today!

[Rasmus]

Pathological Mechanics

I used to have a car like that, too ...

[Roadtoad]

I used to have a car like that, too ...

Probably a late model American made car.