Judge on Trial for Using Penis Pump in Courtroom

[Katana]

I would have LOVED to have been on this jury...

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BRISTOW, Okla. - Serving on the jury in an indecent-exposure trial unfolding in this conservative Oklahoma town has been a giggle-inducing experience.

Former Judge Donald D. Thompson, a veteran of 23 years on the bench, is on trial on charges he used a penis pump on himself in the courtroom while sitting in judgment of others.

Over the past few days, the jurors have watched a defense attorney and a prosecutor pantomime masturbation. A doctor has lectured on the lengths the defendant was willing to go to enhance his sexual performance.

The white-handled sexual device sits before the jury box for hours at a time. Occasionally an attorney picks it up and squeezes the handle, demonstrating the “sh-sh” sound of air rushing through the contraption’s plastic tubing.

The jurors sometimes exchange awkward looks and break into nervous laughter when the testimony takes a lurid turn.
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Here's a link to the full story:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13599320/

[Ladewig]

Ewwwwwwwww!

[Luke T.]

Is that what the chick in your avatar is holding?

[aggle-rithm]

Is that what the chick in your avatar is holding?

No, I believe that's a penis reducer.

[Katana]

No, I believe that's a penis reducer.

Maybe...

[Luke T.]

Thompson’s former court reporter, Lisa Foster, wiped away tears as she described tracing an unfamiliar “sh-sh” in the courtroom to her boss. She testified that between 2001 and 2003 she saw Thompson expose himself at least 15 times.

“I was really shocked and I was kind of scared because it was so bizarre,” Foster said.

She testified that during a trial in 2002, she heard the pump during the emotional testimony of a murdered toddler’s grandfather.

The grandfather “was getting real teary-eyed, and the judge was up there pumping on that pump,” she said. “It was sickening.”

Jesus H. Christ.

[Tailgater]

Occasionally an attorney picks it up and squeezes the handle, demonstrating the “sh-sh” sound of air rushing through the contraption’s plastic tubing.

I just spit coffee all over my screen.:)

I want to know how he kept a straight face in the courtroom while he was pumping himself.

[Dr Adequate]

To conserve our fast-diminishing humor reserves, I move that we should recycle all the puns from the Limbaugh arrest thread.

[Katana]

Occasionally an attorney picks it up and squeezes the handle, demonstrating the “sh-sh” sound of air rushing through the contraption’s plastic tubing.

I just spit coffee all over my screen.:)

I want to know how he kept a straight face in the courtroom while he was pumping himself.

He brought the court reporter to tears:

Thompson’s former court reporter, Lisa Foster, wiped away tears as she described tracing an unfamiliar “sh-sh” in the courtroom to her boss. She testified that between 2001 and 2003 she saw Thompson expose himself at least 15 times.

“I was really shocked and I was kind of scared because it was so bizarre,” Foster said.

[aggle-rithm]

Occasionally an attorney picks it up and squeezes the handle, demonstrating the “sh-sh” sound of air rushing through the contraption’s plastic tubing.

I just spit coffee all over my screen.:)

I want to know how he kept a straight face in the courtroom while he was pumping himself.

Attorney: "Your honor, may I approach the bench?"

Judge: "Yes...oh, God, Yes, Yes, YES!!!"

Attorney: "Um...never mind."

[pgwenthold]

How did he expose himself? Shouldn't he just cover it up with the robe?

(answering the age old question of what's under the robe - a penis pump?)

[Katana]

How did he expose himself? Shouldn't he just cover it up with the robe?

(answering the age old question of what's under the robe - a penis pump?)

You know, I actually wondered the same, so I went looking. Here's what I found at www.legalreader.com:

BRISTOW [OK] -- The court reporter for former Creek County District Judge Donald Thompson testified Monday that she saw his penis "at least 15 times" and that she saw him urinate into a wastebasket twice during trials. Thompson is on trial on four felony counts of indecent exposure, which allege that he used a penis pump to masturbate while on the bench.
The court reporter, Lisa K. Foster, provided powerful and emotional testimony Monday about the "shocking and disgusting" things she saw from 2001 into 2003. Foster was Thompson's court reporter for 15 years. He fired her in September 2003 for reportedly cooperating with an investigation of his alleged misconduct.

Foster also told jurors that she saw Thompson "shaving his scrotum" during closing arguments in an August 2003 murder trial.

That trial was for Tammy Renee Brooks, accused in the 2000 murder of her 21-month-old daughter, Skyla Brooks.

Foster testified that while the assistant prosecutor, Carol Iski, was giving her closing arguments in the case, Thompson pulled his penis out of his pants, pulled it close to his body with his left hand, and began shaving his scrotum with a disposable razor.

"It wasn't long strokes" with the razor. "He was sort of picking at it," she testified.
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The sudden need to shave one's scrotum during closing statements? I could see it. Sure.

[pgwenthold]

I'm wondering about the arguments from the defense?

Are we going to hear, "If it does not fit, you must acquit" with the penis pump?

[CFLarsen]

As always, Monty Python came first... (http://arago4.tnw.utwente.nl/stonedead/movies/hollywood-bowl/09-two-judges.html)




































.....did I say "came first"?

[Katana]

As always, Monty Python came first... (http://arago4.tnw.utwente.nl/stonedead/movies/hollywood-bowl/09-two-judges.html)


Ok. That was a good contribution, CFL! Quite amusing.

[DaChew]

See, this is why the U.S. is one of the most productive countries in the world. We know how to multi-task.

[davefoc]

See, this is why the U.S. is one of the most productive countries in the world. We know how to multi-task.

Exactly, I'll bet they don't have any trials of judges using penis pumps during trials in Denmark. Do you have any doubts left about the superiority of the American system now CFL?

Go USA.

[hodgy]

As always, Monty Python came first... (http://arago4.tnw.utwente.nl/stonedead/movies/hollywood-bowl/09-two-judges.html)

Nice one - you can't beat a bit of python. Made me giggle - Ta.

































.....did I say "came first"?[/QUOTE]

[RandFan]

"Are you aware of the penal codes in this state?" --Kentucky Fried Movie

[patchbunny]

I'm wondering about the arguments from the defense?

Are we going to hear, "If it does not fit, you must acquit" with the penis pump?
How many pumps do you get to make it fit?

[Beerina]

Does an obscene sound count as "indecent exposure"?

[RandFan]

Convicted. (http://www.breitbart.com/news/2006/06/29/D8II99VG0.html) What a prick.

[Jocko]

Convicted. (http://www.breitbart.com/news/2006/06/29/D8II99VG0.html) What a prick.

I'm sure it will go to an a-pull-it court.

[DaChew]

I'm sure it will go to an a-pull-it court.

Dude. You're stretching now.

[EvilSmurf]

To conserve our fast-diminishing humor reserves, I move that we should recycle all the puns from the Limbaugh arrest thread.

I'm sure we'll read about it in the Judge's new book "Swedish Penis Pumps: These Are My Bag, really"

[fishbob]

Here come de judge
Here come de judge
Order in the court room
Here come de judge




Flip Wilson

[nightwind]

This is one of the most hilarious things I have ever heard of.

[Kerberos]

Foster also told jurors that she saw Thompson "shaving his scrotum" during closing arguments in an August 2003 murder trial.

That trial was for Tammy Renee Brooks, accused in the 2000 murder of her 21-month-old daughter, Skyla Brooks.

Foster testified that while the assistant prosecutor, Carol Iski, was giving her closing arguments in the case, Thompson pulled his penis out of his pants, pulled it close to his body with his left hand, and began shaving his scrotum with a disposable razor.

"It wasn't long strokes" with the razor. "He was sort of picking at it," she testified.
-----------------------------------------

The sudden need to shave one's scrotum during closing statements? I could see it. Sure.
Mistrial anyone?

[Suddenly]

Mistrial anyone?

Probably not. Closing argument is kind of a down time for a judge. The lawyers are speaking to the jury. What they say is not evidence.

Unless someone objects the judge really has nothing to do.

His shaving his sack in and of itself wouldn't affect the verdict. He might as well be doing his taxes or playing solitare...

[Kerberos]

Probably not. Closing argument is kind of a down time for a judge. The lawyers are speaking to the jury. What they say is not evidence.

Unless someone objects the judge really has nothing to do.

His shaving his sack in and of itself wouldn't affect the verdict. He might as well be doing his taxes or playing solitare...
OK I kind of assumed that the judge should be paying attention. that is not shaving his crotch, playing solitare or doing his taxes, though the two last would be less creepy. I supose it's because I come from a country where judges have relatively more power compared to juries than in the US.

[ARubberChickenWithAPulley]

Foster testified that while the assistant prosecutor, Carol Iski, was giving her closing arguments in the case, Thompson pulled his penis out of his pants, pulled it close to his body with his left hand, and began shaving his scrotum with a disposable razor.

Now that takes a lot of balls. Heh heh... but seriously -- well not really seriously, but semi-seriously: if I suddenly got a wacky urge to shave my scrotum with a disposable razor, I would be paying pretty darn close attention to what I was doing. I can't even imagine feigning interest in a trial while trying to scrape a razor blade over my genitals. That particular area isn't exactly condusive to a smooth shave either.

[thaiboxerken]

He should not be a judge just for the simple fact that he believes that penis pumps actually work.

[Kerberos]

Now that takes a lot of balls. Heh heh... but seriously -- well not really seriously, but semi-seriously: if I suddenly got a wacky urge to shave my scrotum with a disposable razor, I would be paying pretty darn close attention to what I was doing. I can't even imagine feigning interest in a trial while trying to scrape a razor blade over my genitals. That particular area isn't exactly condusive to a smooth shave either.
The disposable razors I've seen have had protections on, it's not just a sharp knife, so it's not like one slip and they'll call you Einstein.

[Mycroft]

He should not be a judge just for the simple fact that he believes that penis pumps actually work.

I've never tried one, but I'm told they're effective as a masturbation tool even if they don't actually make the penis larger.

[Katana]

Sentenced for 4 years, folks.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14410634/

He said he may have absentmindedly squeezed the pump’s handle during court cases but never used it to masturbate.:rolleyes:
Investigators later checked the carpet, Thompson’s robes and the chair behind the bench and found semen, according to court records.

So, your honor, just how did that semen get there?

[Mephisto]

"Are you aware of the penal codes in this state?" --Kentucky Fried Movie

:) . . . where he was previously employed as a spoon (because SPOOL doesn't make any sense).

HA! I love that movie and thought I was one of the few who actually remember the Zucker brothers before they got famous.

P.S. Good to see you back, RF. :)

(edited to wonder) I wonder if calling him a jerk off would get you contempt?

[MortFurd]

Foster also told jurors that she saw Thompson "shaving his scrotum" during closing arguments in an August 2003 murder trial.

That trial was for Tammy Renee Brooks, accused in the 2000 murder of her 21-month-old daughter, Skyla Brooks.

Foster testified that while the assistant prosecutor, Carol Iski, was giving her closing arguments in the case, Thompson pulled his penis out of his pants, pulled it close to his body with his left hand, and began shaving his scrotum with a disposable razor.

"It wasn't long strokes" with the razor. "He was sort of picking at it," she testified.
-----------------------------------------

The sudden need to shave one's scrotum during closing statements? I could see it. Sure.
This is obviously the American version of the way German bureaucrats fill their boring days.

As the Germans tell the story (obviously only in jest,) German bureaucrats are issued a tiny golden hammer when they achieve civil service status. They then use said hammer to hammer the wrinkles out of their scrotums during working hours. They are retired when they have permanently removed all wrinkles.

[The Central Scrutinizer]

Sentenced for 4 years, folks.

Wow, that seems rather stiff.

[Katana]

Wow, that seems rather stiff.
Yeah. They were pretty hard on him.

[fuelair]

So he'll be serving hard time.

[Dark Jaguar]

This and that judge that was playing solitaire in court...

How did these people get their jobs? Oh right...

Oh and, remind me why we have to be judged by our "peers" again in some cases. Why can't it be a jury of actual smart and rational people? Instead, they seem to be custom selected for manipulability.