They've Found the Ark! - Again!

[KillerBob]

http://cbs11tv.com/topstories/local_story_177234625.html

Apparently, in the middle of the night, the ark hopped from Mt Ararat where it's normally spotted, over to a mountain in Iran.

I think the best laughs may come when they try to explain how the ark managed to petrify in a few thousand years while sitting exposed on a mountaintop.

[Meffy]

Why, it's simple. The wood was already petrified when they built the ark from it.

[Piscivore]

http://cbs11tv.com/topstories/local_story_177234625.html

Apparently, in the middle of the night, the ark hopped from Mt Ararat where it's normally spotted, over to a mountain in Iran.

I think the best laughs may come when they try to explain how the ark managed to petrify in a few thousand years while sitting exposed on a mountaintop.

It wasn't the boat that moved, but the mountain itself:
According to Bonnema, in biblical times, Ararat was in the region which is today northern Iran.

[Meffy]

It's true! Scholars don't seem able to agree on which present-day location corresponds to the Biblical Ararat.

[BenK]

What's the ark doing with sea creatures inside? :boggled:

[Meffy]

Noah must've misinterpreted the bit about "a pair of each." Or, in the other version people seem to forget about, seven pairs of each clean and one pair of each unclean animal.

[empeake]

Or, in the other version people seem to forget about, seven pairs of each clean and one pair of each unclean animal.
Question is, who washed them?

[gfunkusarelius]

ummmm, nice story. did anyone in his expedition think to take a camera? maybe even one of those new-fangled ones tht takes moving pictures?

how much do you want to bet when he "goes back" it is mysteriously gone? hidden away by opus dei or something

[Johnny Pixels]

Oh, that's the boring ark, I want them to find the ark of the covenant. I can see the headlines now:

"Ark Found in LucasFilm Prop Cupboard"

[Meffy]

[deleted]

[jimlintott]

Bonnema says he knows there will be naysayers, but he believes the discovery will reaffirm others' faith as it did his own.

Why are the religious so often reaffirming their faith? Do they really have that much doubt?

Maybe they're all closet skeptics after all.;)

[gnome]

[deleted]

Obviously redacted by the Illuminati!!!

[Meffy]

Nope, by the Mephitidae. A certain kind of person (that I don't think frequents these boards but I've been wrong before) would've read way more into my joke than intended. No biggie. I'll find better.

[edit] 'Round these parts, reaffirmation of faith often involves fried chicken and potato salad. I can kinda-sorta see the appeal.

[Starthinker]

I'd rather find Noah's secret for a long life.

[Meffy]

I'd rather find Noah's secret for a long life.
"How to live a long life? Do it during Old Testament times. Yes, you can quote me on that."
-- Noah

[This Guy]

More on this, including pictures can be found at -

http://www.worldviewweekend.com/secure/cwnetwork/article.php?&ArticleID=813

[gnome]

For a minute i thought it said "World View Weekly" and did a double-take

[KillerBob]

It's true! Scholars don't seem able to agree on which present-day location corresponds to the Biblical Ararat.


But since it's already been "found" several times on that other Mt Ararat, the ark obviously has a sense of humor and enjoys sneaking (or maybe sailing) around at night from one mountain to another...

It's True!

[SPQR]

From the article in the OP:

If we can find some evidence that Noah's Ark really existed, I thought that could cause thousands and tens of thousands of people to say, ‘maybe the rest of the bible is true, too.’” Bonnema said.

Okay, even if the pieces of petrified wood these guys supposedly found do turn out to be from a boat, what would make these guys jump to the conclusion that its Noah's ark? Was no one else in that time period aloud to build big boats? There are other explanations as to how a big boat could get to the top of a 13,000 foot mountain. Granted that one of them could be from a flood in the region.(not the flood)

And what if it isn't Noah's ark? Will this make the whole of Christanity say, "Well, if that wasn't really Noah's ark, the rest of the bible must be BS too,"? I think not. I really don't see why some religious people feel the need to try and prove the existance of their religion's miracles, especially Christianity. Attempting to prove miracles wiil most likely only lead to disappointment for these people. Its a miracle, that means God did it! What more proof would a true believer need? If I were a Christian, I would find it insulting to my faith that someone was trying to scientifically prove an event that requires my faith for it to be real.

Of course, people trying and failing to scientifically prove miracles only demonstrate how silly such religious beliefs really are, thereby advancing our(skeptics') way of thinking. So keep the "proof" for miracles coming! :D

[Psiload]

Now... I ain't got no fancy book-learnin' as a geolomogist er nuthin, but that looks like regular old rock to me... like slate or something. I've seen petrified wood, and that looks nothing like the petrified wood I've seen. Petrified wood looks like wood. That "ark" looks more like rock.

[This Guy]

Now... I ain't got no fancy book-learnin' as a geolomogist er nuthin, but that looks like regular old rock to me... like slate or something. I've seen petrified wood, and that looks nothing like the petrified wood I've seen. Petrified wood looks like wood. That "ark" looks more like rock.

I have the same qualifications as you. But it looks like rock to me also.

[Meffy]

Looks like petrified (or opalized, which amounts to much the same thing) wood to me. I'm not a pro but have seen a fair amount of the stuff and that's what it looks like in the rough.

[edit] For comparison, here's a colorful specimen: http://www.dannyburk.com/pet_wood_3.htm

[Mojo]

I think the best laughs may come when they try to explain how the ark managed to petrify in a few thousand years while sitting exposed on a mountaintop.Has anybody figured out what "gopher wood" is? Maybe "gopher" means petrified. ;)

[CapelDodger]

I'd rather find Noah's secret for a long life.
You just get to spend longer being disappointed by your offspring. No way is that worth all the bowing and scraping and carpentry.

[Apathia]

Amazing! A basalt dyke is now Noah's Ark!
Next: The Search for Lot's Wife!
(Turned into a 'pillar of salt")

Got some calcite?

[GregC]

If it is petrified wood how about this as a scenerio:

250 million years or so trees were growing in a swamp. They fell, were covered with 100's of feet of mud and silt along with 'sea animals.' Over the next 250 million years the wood petrified and the sea animals fossilized. Plate tetonics caused mountains to rise. The swamps dissapeared, The land became arid and barren. Wind and rain eroded the the 100's of feet of old sediment exposing the petrified wood.

Warning, here's where it might become unbelievable.

Man appeared on earth. Man fears death and deludes himself into beleiving in life after death. Man believes if there is life after death then there must be a god or gods who rule over all. Man creates tales about the gods to expain the unknown. Man believes the tales. The tales become more importaint than reality. Man thinks that the tales must be believed at all costs, even at the cost of the truth. A handfull of idiots climb a mountain and find exactly what their fears want them to believe they found. Their fears are eased, temporarily.

I like this story better than the one at the link in the OP.

[a_unique_person]

Why are the religious so often reaffirming their faith? Do they really have that much doubt?

Maybe they're all closet skeptics after all.;)

They do, and the word is 'doubting Thomas' or 'backslider'.

[orphia nay]

I like your story better, too, El Pres.

Led by explorer, adventurer, and featured Worldview Weekend speaker Dr. Bob Cornuke, a fourteen man crew returned this week from Iran bearing stunning evidence that theirs is the long-anticipated even coveted discovery of the remains of Noah’s Ark. Bob’s team consisted of a Who’s Who of business, law, and ministry leaders including Barry Rand (former CEO of Avis), the author and Christian apologist Josh McDowell, Frank Turek (co-author with Norm Geisler of I Don’t Have Enough Faith to be an Atheist), Boone Powell (former CEO of Baylor Medical Systems), and Arch Bonnema (president of Joshua Financial).

http://www.worldviewweekend.com/secure/cwnetwork/article.php?&ArticleID=813

What, no telephone hygeinists? Well, really. :rolleyes:

[popsy]

More on this, including pictures can be found at -

http://www.worldviewweekend.com/secure/cwnetwork/article.php?&ArticleID=813


I liked this part:

"Before his death, Davis became acquainted with Bob Cornuke and gave him a map showing the way to the object."

I'm glad they made it clear that it was *before* his death.

[Cheap Thrills]

The story reminded of me of a cheesy "documentary" I saw in a theatre back in 1976 called "In Search of Noah's Ark". Anyone remember this one?

[a_unique_person]

What about the other Ark that has been found? One of them must be a fake.

[Gravy]

I love it when they find the Ark.

[orphia nay]

Yep. If it's not an Ark finding, it's an Atlantis finding. Keeps the fundies and woos happy, for a bit. But I think us skeptics get the most value out of them.

[athon]

What about the other Ark that has been found? One of them must be a fake.

They both are. I have the real one. I bought it on ebay the other day for fifty-three dollars and five cents.

I also have the true cross in my cupboard.

Athon

[empeake]

I also have the true cross in my cupboard.
Impossible. I have it, with the certificate of authenticity to prove it.

[athon]

Impossible. I have it, with the certificate of authenticity to prove it.

Bah, anybody could have faked that. Mine still has flecks of the original, authentic, hot-pink, lead-based paint that they painted it with. That proves mie is the original.

Does yours?

Athon

[empeake]

Does yours?
No, but my certificate has a holographic security label and is signed by Jesus himself, with Mary Magdalene and Peter as witnesses.

[athon]

No, but my certificate has a holographic security label and is signed by Jesus himself, with Mary Magdalene and Peter as witnesses.

Well, I've scraped off the bloodstains on my pieces of the cross, and have cloned Jesus.

And he's here right now.

"Jesus, did you sign any such piece of paper?"

"Ummm....no. Not that I recall. Judas did get me to sign a heap of documents once, but I thought they had to do with a bank loan or something."

"So you never authenticated any alleged 'true cross' certificates?"

"Not knowlingly. If I did, then they are most surely a hoax. The true cross is hot pink."

"Would Mary Magdalene or Saint Peter have witnessed this scam?"

"Oh sure. They were such jokers. Mary once claimed she was pregnant with my child. Father, how I laughed at that one. And Pete is always doing Jesus jokes... like the one where he asks 'Why does Jesus get all the chicks? 'Cause he's hung like this', and puts his arms out like he's me on the cross. Man, that's hilarious."

Ok. Thanks SOG.

There you have it. Straight from the saviour's mouth.

Athon

[Dustin Kesselberg]

If it is petrified wood how about this as a scenerio:

250 million years or so trees were growing in a swamp. They fell, were covered with 100's of feet of mud and silt along with 'sea animals.' Over the next 250 million years the wood petrified and the sea animals fossilized. Plate tetonics caused mountains to rise. The swamps dissapeared, The land became arid and barren. Wind and rain eroded the the 100's of feet of old sediment exposing the petrified wood.

Warning, here's where it might become unbelievable.

Man appeared on earth. Man fears death and deludes himself into beleiving in life after death. Man believes if there is life after death then there must be a god or gods who rule over all. Man creates tales about the gods to expain the unknown. Man believes the tales. The tales become more importaint than reality. Man thinks that the tales must be believed at all costs, even at the cost of the truth. A handfull of idiots climb a mountain and find exactly what their fears want them to believe they found. Their fears are eased, temporarily.

I like this story better than the one at the link in the OP.


The first part is spot on but the second is nonsense. Religion(atleast most religions) wasn't started because of fear of death. It was stated because of ignorance, Ignorance of the world and nature. Belief in an afterlife doesn't follow to belief in a "God". Religious people aren't religious because of fear of death. They are religious because of ignorance, Ignorance of the world around them.

[TheChadd]

The reporter was quite pretty.

[KillerBob]

Well, I've scraped off the bloodstains on my pieces of the cross, and have cloned Jesus.

And he's here right now.

"Jesus, did you sign any such piece of paper?"

"Ummm....no. Not that I recall. Judas did get me to sign a heap of documents once, but I thought they had to do with a bank loan or something."

"So you never authenticated any alleged 'true cross' certificates?"

"Not knowlingly. If I did, then they are most surely a hoax. The true cross is hot pink."

"Would Mary Magdalene or Saint Peter have witnessed this scam?"

"Oh sure. They were such jokers. Mary once claimed she was pregnant with my child. Father, how I laughed at that one. And Pete is always doing Jesus jokes... like the one where he asks 'Why does Jesus get all the chicks? 'Cause he's hung like this', and puts his arms out like he's me on the cross. Man, that's hilarious."

Ok. Thanks SOG.

There you have it. Straight from the saviour's mouth.

Athon


Since you have JC right there, can he tell us how wood petrifies in 6 thousand years while exposed on a mountaintop?

Personally, I think it's the combination of high altitude, thin air, and narrow minds...

[Meadmaker]

Since you have JC right there, can he tell us how wood petrifies in 6 thousand years while exposed on a mountaintop?

Personally, I think it's the combination of high altitude, thin air, and narrow minds...

presumably because of the extraordinary pressure exerted by billions of tons of water. It's the same thing that carved canyons and fossilized dinosaur bones.

The ark would have been subjected to these same deluge related geologic phenomena, as it ...... floated on the water.

Never mind.:)

[Correa Neto]

Please tell me it was a joke that flew right over my head...

[empeake]

There you have it. Straight from the saviour's mouth.
That's proof enough. You win. :(

[Jesus Baby Daddy]

Now that they found the Ark, they can figure out how it crashed up on the mountain.
God only knows of course how it happened, but here are some of my own theories:

-The two Fire Ants bit the Male Brontosaurus on the ass and he ran around and shifted the weight of the whole thing making it capsize.

-Noah was a crappy driver.

-A case of Bird Flu was going around (A whole butt load of birds on that boat) and Noah was on the toilet and away from the wheel.

-The mountain jumped out of nowhere and hit the Ark.

If you have anymore ideas please post.

[Meadmaker]

Please tell me it was a joke that flew right over my head...

Yes. It was.


Creationists often blame the flood for all sorts of things that would be impossible without a young Earth. Fossils take millions of years to form, say scientists. Not so, say the creationists, when the flood came along, the amazing pressure from the weight of all the water caused different chemical conditions that allowed rapid mineral replacement.

Canyons take millions of years to carve, say scientists. No so says the creationist. The huge quantity of water involved in the flood carved the canyons in a matter of hours.

Wood cannot petrify in just 6000 years when exposed on a mountaintop. Not so, say the creationists (at least, using the words put into their mouths by me.) The incredible pressure generated by the flood caused the ark to petrify within days!

"But, Reverend Goodboy, although the ark was around during the flood, it was on TOP of the water."

"Oh. Never mind.":)

[GregC]

The first part is spot on but the second is nonsense. Religion(atleast most religions) wasn't started because of fear of death. It was stated because of ignorance, Ignorance of the world and nature. Belief in an afterlife doesn't follow to belief in a "God". Religious people aren't religious because of fear of death. They are religious because of ignorance, Ignorance of the world around them.

Ignorance and fear. I would disagree that the belief in religion is not based in fear. I belive the fear of death and the end of existance is a deep seeded fear of the religeous. The thought of blanking out of existance at the moment of death scares them deeply. Of course I don't think you could get many believers to admit that.

[popsy]

The first part is spot on but the second is nonsense. Religion(atleast most religions) wasn't started because of fear of death. It was stated because of ignorance, Ignorance of the world and nature. Belief in an afterlife doesn't follow to belief in a "God". Religious people aren't religious because of fear of death. They are religious because of ignorance, Ignorance of the world around them.


I'm coming to that same conclusion. I've been discussing Mitochondrial Eve with a christian and I'm at the point where my limited knowledge has come to its end and her insistence that Mitochondrial Eve is the Genesis Eve is leaving me without the power to explain any further.

[Correa Neto]

Yes. It was.


Creationists often blame the flood for all sorts of things that would be impossible without a young Earth. Fossils take millions of years to form, say scientists. Not so, say the creationists, when the flood came along, the amazing pressure from the weight of all the water caused different chemical conditions that allowed rapid mineral replacement.

Canyons take millions of years to carve, say scientists. No so says the creationist. The huge quantity of water involved in the flood carved the canyons in a matter of hours.

Wood cannot petrify in just 6000 years when exposed on a mountaintop. Not so, say the creationists (at least, using the words put into their mouths by me.) The incredible pressure generated by the flood caused the ark to petrify within days!

"But, Reverend Goodboy, although the ark was around during the flood, it was on TOP of the water."

"Oh. Never mind.":)
Thanks, I am relieved. I'm glad it was an obtuseness of my own. Apologies.:boxedin:

I had a quite pleasant debate with you some time ago, and you didn't sounded like a creationist. I would not like to... Well, you've got the idea...

Carry on folks, nothing to see here...

[supercorgi]

Ignorance and fear. I would disagree that the belief in religion is not based in fear. I belive the fear of death and the end of existance is a deep seeded fear of the religeous. The thought of blanking out of existance at the moment of death scares them deeply. Of course I don't think you could get many believers to admit that.
I'd say that both of those play a role but I'd also add social control. In primitive societies - the religious role was also usually held by the chief. The organization of many early societies was based on what Anthropologists call "Big Man" organization - where control of the group is focused around a powerful individual. That power is often strengthened by control of the sacred. If you convince people that their well being depends on the gods and that you are the reprentative of the gods, you gain a tremendous amount of control.

[Pope130]

Now that they found the Ark, they can figure out how it crashed up on the mountain.
God only knows of course how it happened, but here are some of my own theories:

-The two Fire Ants bit the Male Brontosaurus on the ass and he ran around and shifted the weight of the whole thing making it capsize.

-Noah was a crappy driver.

-A case of Bird Flu was going around (A whole butt load of birds on that boat) and Noah was on the toilet and away from the wheel.

-The mountain jumped out of nowhere and hit the Ark.

If you have anymore ideas please post.

They let Bigfoot steer?

[Badger]

Now that they found the Ark, they can figure out how it crashed up on the mountain.
God only knows of course how it happened, but here are some of my own theories:

-The two Fire Ants bit the Male Brontosaurus on the ass and he ran around and shifted the weight of the whole thing making it capsize.

-Noah was a crappy driver.

-A case of Bird Flu was going around (A whole butt load of birds on that boat) and Noah was on the toilet and away from the wheel.

-The mountain jumped out of nowhere and hit the Ark.

If you have anymore ideas please post.

"Hold my beer, and watch this!" (Noah)

[Meffy]

"KITT Ark, engage Turbo Boost NOW!"
-- David Hasselhoff in the role of Noah

[Esperdome]

:D The story reminded of me of a cheesy "documentary" I saw in a theatre back in 1976 called "In Search of Noah's Ark". Anyone remember this one?

My parents made me see it thinking it would make me more of a believer.:D

One of a long line of attempts that backfired on them.

[Apathia]

I attended a denominationally owned college. They brought in a guest lecturer who claimed to have found it and showed off ancient (not petrified) pieces of wood from Mt. Ararat. The story was some guy had collected them when as a boy his father had taken him up the mountain and showed him a huge wooden boat. So this Ark hunter was getting together a team to go to the alleged site.

Later Ark hunters dismissed this "I saw the Ark when I was a boy" story as a hoax after it led them nowhere.

I did a little hoax of my own the day of the lecture. The so-called Ark wood resembled cypress. At the time it was claimed that "gopher" wood was cypress wood. The old ties of the railroad tracks near the college were made of cypress. So I found a nice looking, errode sliver from a tie, put it in a littlwe plastic, transparant box, and that evening showed it to a couple of Theology majors.
I was amazed at how they bought that it was a piece of the Ark without question, and ran to get friends to see the wonder as well.
The gulibility factor was so high, that no one asked me how I obtained it.
These guys looked so pathetic, that I felt sorry for them and after just a half hour told them what it really was. So I can believe an Ark enthusiast can see a rock outcropping and think it's a ship.

[RSLancastr]

Why are the religious so often reaffirming their faith? Do they really have that much doubt?I don't know, but that need is exploited by people like Kaz.