Questions To Ask An Alien

[SPQR]

I just started reading Carl Sagan's Demon-Haunted World and in chapter 6 entitled "Hallucinations" Sagan tells of a list of questions he had for someone who was claiming he could could communicate with extraterrestrials. Sagan was invited to "ask them anything" so he asked things like, "Please provide a short proof of Fermat's Last Theorem," providing a simple equation with the correct components since the aliens would not call it "Fermat's Last Theorem". No answer was ever provided.

Anyway, as I was reading I thought what better place for such a mental exercise than the JREF Forum? Try to think of questions no human could possibly know the answers to but where a correct answer would be immediately be recognized as such.

Any suggestions?

[Beady]

"Do you have anything to declare?"

ETA: Look, I work for Immigration. You say "alien" to me, and...

[chacal]

I would ask "what would be such question no human could possibly know the answers to but where a correct answer would be immediately recognized as such."

Since no human could possibly think of such a question.:)

[sphenisc]

http://mathworld.wolfram.com/search/index.cgi?num=&q=Conjecture&start=10

This lists 571 mathematical conjectures, many of which appear to be unproved or in some cases there is doubt about the proof. I guess any of these would do.

[De_Bunk]

"Are you the female of the species...'cos if you are whaddya doing Saturday?"

DB

[grayman]

"Are you the female of the species...'cos if you are whaddya doing Saturday?"

DB

Welcome to the forum Mr. Clinton.

[Starthinker]

Are you edible?

[kittynh]

Where are you from, in detail please.

Another good thing from psychology is to ask for your arm to be cut off or some such. A good hallucination will cut off your arm, yet you will be fine.

A lot of the tools used with the menatlly ill to help them deal with hallucinations vs. reality (which are quite helpful for leading a "normal" life, imagine needing tools to figure out what is real and what is your messed up brain!), would work with aliens I think

[Ririon]

Are you SURE you want me to take you to our leader?;)

[El Greco]

The point is, if the aliens were so much more intelligent than us as we are from apes (to say the least), what kind of communication could possibly occur between us ?

[senorpogo]

Homer: I'm happy to answer any questions you have about the alien. Any questions at all. Dr Hibbert?
Dr. Hibbert: Yes, is the alien carbon based or silicon based?
Homer: Uh, the second one. Zillophone. Next question.
Barney: Is the alien Santa Claus?
Homer: Uh, yes.

[Meffy]

Mr. Alien, how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?

[Legalduck]

"Do you have anything to declare?"

ETA: Look, I work for Immigration. You say "alien" to me, and...

"Okay, the immigration court has ordered you removed to Mexico. When can we expect you back here?"

I'll start working for Immigration in September

[Rasmus]

*shows alien freecell game #11982*

[YoPopa]

My son runs a wiki question & answer website (http://www.FAQfarm.com). After ~250,000 questions there have been a few which almost fit the bill for the OP:
What are some bulimic recipes?
What should you do if you don't like to wear underwear?
How do you find out how much you weigh?
How would you know if you are a virgin?
Did World War I solve Europe's problems?
What are the native Japanese called and where do they mainly live today?


ETA..A new one I just saw on the site:
How much do Scientologists charge to exorcise a space alien?

:yo-yo:

[Silly Green Monkey]

Why in the world would an alien know about the original inhabitants of the Japanese islands, and how they are sequestered on a northern island? And why in the world would an alien care?

[YoPopa]

Why in the world would an alien know about the original inhabitants of the Japanese islands, and how they are sequestered on a northern island? And why in the world would an alien care?That was in the [derail] section of my response. Sorry for the interuption. I did not make up those questions I can only take responsibility for the derail.

[gnome]

What principle of physics enabled you to bridge the distance between your homeworld and hours?

--Disappointing answer: "Ohh, the same as what you guys already know. I was approaching a significant fraction of the speed of light, so I got here straight away. Everyone I left behind has been dead for thousands of years now I guess."

How did your civilization manage to learn to cooperate with each other enough to survive to build such advanced technology?

--Disappointing answer: "Ohh, well once someone invented the mind-stapler, it got pretty easy after that."

[Hindmost]

I would ask: Why on earth did you come here?

However, others may ask: Shall we indulge in Rishathra?

glenn:boxedin:

[Earthborn]

Any suggestions?How about:
"How often was a thread on the topic of asking what questions to ask an alien started on the JREF forum, and in how many of those did the thread starter go through the trouble of explaining s/he got the idea from Carl Sagan as if no one had heard of it before. An error margin of 100 is acceptable for both questions."

"Are you the female of the species...'cos if you are whaddya doing Saturday?"Answer here (http://tgfa.org/strips/images/Aliens.jpg).

[Horatius]

http://mathworld.wolfram.com/search/index.cgi?num=&q=Conjecture&start=10

This lists 571 mathematical conjectures, many of which appear to be unproved or in some cases there is doubt about the proof. I guess any of these would do.

This sort of answer has always annoyed me. Why would you expect them to know proofs to these things, just because they are aliens? And would knowing such things prove they are alien? It could just be the person you're talking to has finally found a long-sought after solution, no aliens needed.

If I was looking for something to prove it's an alien, I'd first ask how it got here. If the answer is any version of FTL, then I'd ask them to predict the next major Supernova or gamma ray burster, which there's no way someone on Earth could accurately predict.

If it's something other than FTL, I might ask them to do something really dramatic out in space, just to show they're actually there. Nuke Mars, or something....

[c4ts]

Aliens, have you found Jesus?

[toddjh]

Answer here (http://tgfa.org/strips/images/Aliens.jpg).

Or here (http://www.vintagepbks.com/images/satyr/nightstand/nb1889.jpg).

[HidariMak]

Since we're assuming that the alien would be brighter than the rest of us, perhaps ask them how quickly they can solve a 5 dimensional Rubik's Cube (http://www.gravitation3d.com/magiccube5d/). (Believe it or not, 3 people already solved it in the first few months it was out. :eye-poppi)

[toddjh]

Since we're assuming that the alien would be brighter than the rest of us, perhaps ask them how quickly they can solve a 5 dimensional Rubik's Cube (http://www.gravitation3d.com/magiccube5d/). (Believe it or not, 3 people already solved it in the first few months it was out.)

Well, there you have it. Proof that aliens are among us.

[Outhere]

I'm afraid the earthling might be saying, "Wait, please--I'm sentient like you--I have feelings! No--help!"

And the visitor from space hears, "Squeak, squeak!"

[fuelair]

Aliens, have you found Jesus?

Aliens: No, we didn't know you lost her.

[SezMe]

Or here (http://www.vintagepbks.com/images/satyr/nightstand/nb1889.jpg).
Broken linky.

[grayman]

Or here (http://www.vintagepbks.com/images/satyr/nightstand/nb1889.jpg).

Forbidden
You don't have permission to access /images/satyr/nightstand/nb1889.jpg on this server.

Additionally, a 404 Not Found error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request.

[YoPopa]

Forbidden
You don't have permission to access /images/satyr/nightstand/nb1889.jpg on this server.

Additionally, a 404 Not Found error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request.
Try the parent directory http://www.vintagepbks.com/images/satyr/nightstand/ and then click on nb1889.jpg

[grayman]

Try the parent directory http://www.vintagepbks.com/images/satyr/nightstand/ and then click on nb1889.jpg

Okay that worked. Is that Austin Powers on the cover?

[Johnny Pneumatic]

I'd ask them about their technological advances. Immortality, ways to make myself many orders of magnitude smarter etc. Surely, if they can get here they'd have figured that stuff out long ago.
I'd ask them about their history, where they're from and the question that De Bunk beat me to asking.

[alfaniner]

"Who's better? Coltrane or Bird?"

[SezMe]

Try the parent directory http://www.vintagepbks.com/images/satyr/nightstand/ and then click on nb1889.jpg
All five in that image are silicone, I guardamntee it. :)

[Tuamutef]

Have you come back to collect the Indigo children you dropped off in my house cos they're REALLY starting to annoy me.

[Beady]

Since we're assuming that the alien would be brighter than the rest of us...

Wrong. We would be assuming that the alien knows more than the rest of us; the alien could well be less intelligent than the rest of us. Greater knowledge and accomplishments do not inherently imply greater intelligence; they may result solely from greater experience and opportunity. Call this the "Forrest Gump Postulation."

So, what would you ask Forrest Gump, to find out whether he was from another world?

[rjh01]

How about asking for a simple undiscovered theory or idea. One idea that came in the 1960s was chaos theory.

A good one would be to ask for some advanced technology. Or some DNA.

[rjh01]

I knew this subject had been covered before. See http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?t=47821

[Rasmus]

So, what would you ask Forrest Gump, to find out whether he was from another world?

That makes it very difficult. The alien that arrives here might not have a clue as to how their spaceship works, 'home' might be where the autopilot will direct the spaceship if you hit the orange pentagonal button and he was never very good at math in school, either.

Maybe the average ailien just carries around some neat techuical gadget that would at least be very convincing evidence.

[skoob]

"How did you learn to speak English so well?"

[Rasmus]

"How did you learn to speak English so well?"

Of course, the whole question seems to assume that a single look wouldn't convince even the most cynic sceptic that he was facing a genuine alien. I would expect that an alien would not look human at all, though. Maybe it wouldn't speak at all, since the concept never really made it on their planet.

[Molinaro]

"When was the last time one of your kind was here?"

[sphenisc]

"What do you mean, you've got copyright on the bacterium flagellum and you want them all back?"

[Beady]

Of course, the whole question seems to assume that a single look wouldn't convince even the most cynic sceptic that he was facing a genuine alien.

Ever notice how, with some exceptions, almost all animals have similar anatomy? In all basic essentials, there's virtually no difference between, say, the face of a primate and that of an insect. Then, vertebrates have similar organs which are arranged in similar positions. If you look at the bones of a whale's flipper you can almost see a human hand. And so on. I'm told it's all evidence of some very basic shared DNA, and therefore of common ancestry somewhere in history.

What might an alien, who shares no ancestry or DNA with any earth creature, look like?

[Molinaro]

What about clothes? Is wearing clothing going to be a universal concept among technologicaly advanced sentient beings?

Will all space travelers wear them out of modesty, cleanliness, comfort, or for protection?

Will all space traverlers have some form of biological function to excrete waste? Will that then lead to a universal concept of cleanliness and sanitation that would lead to clothing being a ubiquitous invention?

[Overman]

When will the cubs win the World Series?!?!?!?

[Overman]

Ever notice how, with some exceptions, almost all animals have similar anatomy? In all basic essentials, there's virtually no difference between, say, the face of a primate and that of an insect. Then, vertebrates have similar organs which are arranged in similar positions. If you look at the bones of a whale's flipper you can almost see a human hand. And so on. I'm told it's all evidence of some very basic shared DNA, and therefore of common ancestry somewhere in history.

What might an alien, who shares no ancestry or DNA with any earth creature, look like?


Impossible to tell. The assumption that all carbon based life shares the same qualities is quite incorrect though. There are animals with much different senses than we share, and that communicate many different ways.

Essitentials would probably be hard to tell...you would think
a) some sort of mouth...but mabye they can absorb nutrients thru skin?
b) eyes.....but mabye then use sonar? or some sort of electromagnatic?
c) limbs....they have to move somehow...but mabye they are disc shaped fliers or swimmers somehow? mabye they are baloon shaped and float around?

It is nearly impossible to tell...we have seen how diverse life could be just on a carbon based system on one planet?! Anything could be out there.

[Meffy]

Piers Anthony's science fiction books have some pretty ingenious, very alien aliens. In the "Cluster" series, the people of Mintaka, Polaris, and other systems are nothing like Earthers. The plots involve a good deal of woo -- "Kirlian auras," f'rex =9_9= -- but that was a big thing back when they were written. The Omnivore/Orn/OX trilogy involves another completely alien ecology, one based on fungal rather than animal or plant life. These series aren't hard s-f but they're plenty engaging... and they didn't go on until they got stale and tedious as his "Xanth" stories did.

[Overman]

Piers Anthony's science fiction books have some pretty ingenious, very alien aliens. In the "Cluster" series, the people of Mintaka, Polaris, and other systems are nothing like Earthers. The plots involve a good deal of woo -- "Kirlian auras," f'rex =9_9= -- but that was a big thing back when they were written. The Omnivore/Orn/OX trilogy involves another completely alien ecology, one based on fungal rather than animal or plant life. These series aren't hard s-f but they're plenty engaging... and they didn't go on until they got stale and tedious as his "Xanth" stories did.


I know some of these words but when put all together they stop making sense to me...;)

[Meffy]

Good adventure yarns with exotic, interesting extraterrestrials. Find them; read them.

[wollery]

The question I'd ask an alien is, "shfjefvjk wfrte sfhg ufafagfeib fbvdhjafh?"






Can't believe no one else thought of that one!

[grayman]

My question would be, "What's up with these anal probes and what are you hoping to find there?"

[Starthinker]

I think two types of questions are being asked and the PO needs to clarify:

What do we ask a real alien just because we can?

What can we ask a supposed alien to prove they are an alien?

I took it as the first one.

[SPQR]

What can we ask a supposed alien to prove they are an alien?

I was actually going for this one. Sorry if I didn't make myself clear.

[Wolverine]

"What exactly is your fascination with places like Fyffe, Alabama?"

[aggle-rithm]

Wrong. We would be assuming that the alien knows more than the rest of us; the alien could well be less intelligent than the rest of us. Greater knowledge and accomplishments do not inherently imply greater intelligence; they may result solely from greater experience and opportunity. Call this the "Forrest Gump Postulation."

So, what would you ask Forrest Gump, to find out whether he was from another world?

In one of the "Treehouse of Horror" episodes of "The Simpsons", humanity achieved world peace and destroyed all their weapons, but then aliens swooped down and took over using clubs and boards with nails in them, all the while saying:

"Your superior technology is no match for our puny weapons!"

[Patricio Elicer]

I would ask "what would be such question no human could possibly know the answers to but where a correct answer would be immediately recognized as such." That's the key problem.

I would ask: "Dear Alien, since you are so advanced as to travel the light years, please take a ride to Mars and tell me what exactly there is at 33º 15' 23'' South latitude, 70º 42' 37'' West longitude. A close up picture would be just fine. We, terrestrial beings, will check that up soon, as our probe enters in stable Martian orbit. Thanks for your cooperation!".

[aggle-rithm]

Piers Anthony's science fiction books have some pretty ingenious, very alien aliens. In the "Cluster" series, the people of Mintaka, Polaris, and other systems are nothing like Earthers. The plots involve a good deal of woo -- "Kirlian auras," f'rex =9_9= -- but that was a big thing back when they were written. The Omnivore/Orn/OX trilogy involves another completely alien ecology, one based on fungal rather than animal or plant life. These series aren't hard s-f but they're plenty engaging... and they didn't go on until they got stale and tedious as his "Xanth" stories did.

Some of his Cluster aliens included:

1. Intelligent fish with three genders
2. Beings that moved and communicated by manipulating powerful magnetic fields
3. Aliens that moved by rolling on a single ball at the base of their bodies
4. Beings made mostly of metal and with natural jet propulsion

He also described a long-dead species that had no neural activity but achieved consciousness by means of a complex set of mechanical linkages.

Especially interesting were his descriptions of humans by other species -- he made us sound just as weird from their viewpoint.

[Hellbound]

In one of the "Treehouse of Horror" episodes of "The Simpsons", humanity achieved world peace and destroyed all their weapons, but then aliens swooped down and took over using clubs and boards with nails in them, all the while saying:

"Your superior technology is no match for our puny weapons!"

Reminds me of a short sci-fi story I read (wish I could remember the title) where aliens finally come to Earth. After extensive research, it's discovered that their "ships" were hollowed out asteroid generation-ships, the technology was based on 1950's era equipment (vacuum tubes, etc), and the aliens were the inerstellar equivalent of Mormons/Jehovah's Witness (i.e.-door-to-door prosyletizing).

Rather humerous :)

[Meffy]

@aggle-rithm: Yuppers, great stuff. The Polarians (the rolling guys) had a downright fascinating mating ritual. The Jets had a similar routine, slightly kinky to terrestrials IIRC...

(Did you know the Polarians secretly visited Earth and invented roll-on deodorant? It's True. *nodnod*)

[Jimbo07]

If the aliens are tourists, they may know little more about their hyper-star-fold-warp-jump-drive engine than many people know about their gasoline (or in this high tech age hybrid) engines.

You'd be better off asking something about their roadmaps. :cool:

[Meffy]

Especially interesting were his descriptions of humans by other species -- he made us sound just as weird from their viewpoint.
Well, but you are. =^_^= We mephits are too.

[Soapy Sam]

How much 1,3 iso proppriodilithium would a Betelgeusian Ethno aardvaarkoid chocullate if a Betelgeusian Ethno aardvaarkoid would chocullate 1,3 propriodilithium?

[Art Vandelay]

What principle of physics enabled you to bridge the distance between your homeworld and hours?You mean "ours"? Those words shouldn't be pronounced the same.

[TjW]

@aggle-rithm: Yuppers, great stuff. The Polarians (the rolling guys) had a downright fascinating mating ritual. The Jets had a similar routine, slightly kinky to terrestrials IIRC...

(Did you know the Polarians secretly visited Earth and invented roll-on deodorant? It's True. *nodnod*)

Raise your paw if you're Sure.

[Beerina]

"Do you have anything to declare?"

ETA: Look, I work for Immigration. You say "alien" to me, and...

Except in this case, it'd be, "No. Do you? No? Please stand over there, you don't have permission to be here."

[Beerina]

That makes it very difficult. The alien that arrives here might not have a clue as to how their spaceship works, 'home' might be where the autopilot will direct the spaceship if you hit the orange pentagonal button and he was never very good at math in school, either.

Maybe the average ailien just carries around some neat techuical gadget that would at least be very convincing evidence.

I recall a SF short story I read where some scientists pull a guy back from the future to ask him questions. He tells them of all sorts of wonderful things, then they ask him how they work. He has no clue. Some element thing...I think. And this was a university professor.

Like if cavemen pulled back a modern person at random and asked them how a TV or an internal combustion engine worked. 99 out of 100 couldn't answer those questions.

[Dave1001]

It could just be the person you're talking to has finally found a long-sought after solution, no aliens needed.

Good point. Mathematical geniuses are such pranksters.

[Dave1001]

I recall a SF short story I read where some scientists pull a guy back from the future to ask him questions. He tells them of all sorts of wonderful things, then they ask him how they work. He has no clue. Some element thing...I think. And this was a university professor.

Like if cavemen pulled back a modern person at random and asked them how a TV or an internal combustion engine worked. 99 out of 100 couldn't answer those questions.

It would be interesting to see at what period of world's history do I have enough of a social advantage to rule it just with what's currently between my ears. Or if I had a year (or a decade) to learn everything that might be useful before being sent back to that period, what would I focus on.

As I think about it, even what little knowledge I have, not deliberately obtained for that purpose is incredibly useful for many periods of time.

I know
-the general historical trends of the market 1900 to the present, so I could probably make a fortune off those.
-where much of the world's mineral wealth was discovered at different points in history

I think it would actually get harder the further back I went. For example, I could go back into the early 1980s and load up on Microsoft stock, then certain internet stocks, then put it in NY and CA real estate and be a gazillionaire. But in 980 it would probably be a little trickier for me to become rich and powerful.

[gnome]

You mean "ours"? Those words shouldn't be pronounced the same.

Because there's a f***ing "H" in it, yes... ;)

[fuelair]

My question would be, "What's up with these anal probes and what are you hoping to find there?"

Answer: Some srule8t we can use to show we were here.