Have you found Jeeesus?

[c4ts]

It has occured to me that Jesus's absence for the past 2,003 years may not be due to murder or execution, but a kidnapping. If you find Jesus, please contact the proper authorities. Thank you.

[Tony]

He's at my house getting high.

[triadboy]

I answered yes, because I found Jesus - however not spiritually - but historically. I found him as a glorified myth overlayed onto an insignificant sage.

[shemp]

He's hovering around Uranus.

[AmateurScientist]

He's opening for Wayne Newton all this month at Caeser's Palace.

AS

[shemp]

Originally posted by AmateurScientist
He's opening for Wayne Newton all this month at Caeser's Palace.

AS

The thought of Jesus "opening" for Wayne Newton is making me physically ill.

[evildave]

Have you checked your shoe?

[Zep]

ALL RIGHT! STAND STILL! NONE OF YOU LEAVES THIS ROOM UNTIL WE FIND JESUS!

[Samus]

I voted that I am Jesus.

I can't tell you where I am right now. You'll just need to have faith that I exist and I'm with you always.

Here I am! I'm there too! Check your six! I'm a fast little bugger, ain't I?

[abramis]

....I found Jesus a couple of years ago.... it was a TV-show. He was quite rebellious at the time, reading the bible every day, and discussing everything with other people... Now I haven´t heard from him in a couple of years... I guess he´s gone back to University... too bad... he was funny.

[Jesus H Christ]

I found little Jesus. Does that count?

[thaiboxerken]

I thought I saw jesus washing cars the other day.

[triadboy]

I live in Arizona....there are Jesus' all over the place.

[triadboy]

This post brings me to mind of the medieval paintings of Jesus hanging on the cross with the letters "INRI" above him etched into a piece of wood.

I've been trying to figure out what the letters mean. All I can come up with is "I'm Nailed Right In". :-)

[SFB]

I thought he just left Chicago and is bound for New Orleans - but that was in the 70's, so there's no telling where he is now. Word was he stopped in Mississippi, then was out to California.

http://www.purelyrics.com/index.php?lyrics=bsxetpdx

[rustypouch]

I saw Jesus in a taco last night. But I was hungry, so I ate it. I wish I had another one right now.

[evildave]

Taco with Jesus on it, or just any taco?

[thaiboxerken]

Well.. maybe we can't find Jesus because he's in the closet.

[EdipisReks]

does this count? i once shouted at my girlfriend at a strangely laid out grocery store that i needed her help in finding cheez-its. she heard me wrong and replied incredulously "but you're an atheist". we found the cheez-its.

[7th sextile]

Didn't some novelist (Vonnegut?)come up with a
"Church of Jesus Christ,Kidnaped?".IIRC,the
members thereof had to constantly swivel their
heads in search Him.

[Dancing David]

Is he like hotel keys?
If found drop in nearest mail box, if so he could be at the Dead Letter Office!

[Zep]

Obviously Jesus has been seriously lost, otherwise there would not be so many people looking for him. I suggest we call in Psi Tech, the wonder psychic searchers, to find Jesus. Yes, if anyone can find a dead body or even a live one, they can!

Zep

[crocodile deathroll]

No I haven't found him yet, but I did find his hat.

http://www.villagehatshop.com/media/sombrero.gif

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by rustypouch
I saw Jesus in a taco last night. But I was hungry, so I ate it. I wish I had another one right now.

I'm quite offended that you would blaspheme tacos like that. I suspect what you saw was actually a long-haired Elvis.

[crocodile deathroll]

Originally posted by Dragonrock


I'm quite offended that you would blaspheme tacos like that. I suspect what you saw was actually a long-haired Elvis.

Actally, I did see him wearing a mullet and he was signing "Achy Breaky Heart" about ten years ago, but I haven't seen him since

[JoxterTheMighty]

Originally posted by Tony
He's at my house getting high.

No! he is at my house getting high!!

-joxter-

[Zep]

!

[rustypouch]

Originally posted by Dragonrock


I'm quite offended that you would blaspheme tacos like that. I suspect what you saw was actually a long-haired Elvis.

I'm not sure what I saw, although I am starting to think it night have been Jim Morrison.

Also, could you please tell me what is blasphemous about wanting another taco? That first one was so good, I wish I was eating it right now.

[iankaplan]

Didn't some novelist (Vonnegut?)come up with a
"Church of Jesus Christ,Kidnaped?".IIRC,the
members thereof had to constantly swivel their
heads in search Him.



Yes, what a great book. Slapstick, by Kurt Vonnegut. The man who represents that Church looks under his plate more than once during a meal to see if Jesus is there. I love Vonnegut!

[7th sextile]

Right,thanks & welcome,ian. Hi Ho.

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by rustypouch


I'm not sure what I saw, although I am starting to think it night have been Jim Morrison.

Also, could you please tell me what is blasphemous about wanting another taco? That first one was so good, I wish I was eating it right now.

Wanting a taco isn't blasphemous, desecrating one with a graven image is. In fact, wanting a taco is a wonderful experience which is second only to eating a taco.

[Samus]

I invented the taco, so you can imagine how honored I feel.

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by dwb
I invented the taco, so you can imagine how honored I feel.

I find that doubtful as the taco was presented to man by the Great Taco In The Sky when mankind was particularly drunk and hungry one friday night.

[Diamond]

It's easy to mock believers on this issue - but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be done:D

[Javalar]

Originally posted by Dragonrock


I find that doubtful as the taco was presented to man by the Great Taco In The Sky when mankind was particularly drunk and hungry one friday night. Alleluia brother!

[Dragonrock]

Reading from the Ancient Taco Recipe
Texas version
Translated from the original Mexican text by Dan and that other guy whose name everyone forgets
1987ish

Page 1

In the begining there was a table
On the table were scattered beer bottles
empty save one:

The bottle of Corona was half full
floating within were two cigarette butts.

The people looked around, their thirst quenched
but their stomachs growling.

The Great Taco moved among them
They could not see, but the smell carresed their nostrils
The aroma touched their hearts and stomachs
Understanding was within them and their hunger peaked.

The Great Taco showed them a vision of corn tortillas
Folded in half they were and fried crispy and golden
The grease was still hot and the shells glistened with holy light
And mankind knew it was good.

The Great Taco caused meat to fall from the sky
Shreadded beef, spiced and grilled with onions and peppers
The beef filled the shells
And mankind knew it was good.

Dark, foreboding clouds filled the heavens
From these clouds rained sour cream and guacamole
Some shells were touched by cream, others by guacamole
Some caught both and others, none
Mankind saw the choices, the alternatives, the combos
And mankind knew it was good.

Lettuce and tomato grew up from the ground
Placing itself within the shells
Cool lettuce, cool tomatoes, hot beef
Crunchy lettuce and shells
Soft beef and tomatoes
Contrast of textures was within the taco
And mankind knew it was good.

The Great Taco raised his hand
And a great lake of salsa appeared
Cold and spicy with a hint of cilantro and lime
Salsa touched the tacos and burned the tongues
And mankind knew it was good.

The Great Taco then appeared to mankind saying:
Beef is the One True Ingredient
But chicken or fish or venison or buffalo
Or any creature that crawls or walks or flies
Or any plant that grows and flourishes
Can a Taco be made.
Remember to see the taco in all foods
But always hold the taco as the one

Mankind watched the Great Taco ascend to the sky
Where he always remains then gorged themselves
Tacos were consumed in ones and twos
and by the handful
And mankind knew it was good.

Burp.

[rustypouch]

I would like to know more about the true nature of the taco. I have rarely experienced a good taco, and due to my location in the great white north, the closest I can come, without an extended journy, is the abomination known as taco bell.

Any other help you can give as to the true path of the taco will be graciously recieved.

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by rustypouch
I would like to know more about the true nature of the taco. I have rarely experienced a good taco, and due to my location in the great white north, the closest I can come, without an extended journy, is the abomination known as taco bell.

Any other help you can give as to the true path of the taco will be graciously recieved.

The GTITS extended his hand over the land south of the Mason-Dixon. This means all Tacos created north of that area are tainted.

On a serious side, the only thing I can tell you is to either plan a trip to Texas or make your own from scratch (you can use the envelope spices, they're better than nothing). Don't use ground beef, boil stew meat for a few hours until it falls apart and use shreaded. If you use packaged shells then pop them in the oven for a couple minutes until they're hot, it makes them more crispy. Don't put the lettuce and tomato on until you're about to eat the taco to keep them cool.

I feel your pain about the tacos, I lived in Washington DC for 5 years and felt like I was in hell. Mexican food there was so bad that I stuffed my face with it every time I came home to Texas.

[INRM]

I haven't found Jesus, but I've found Cheeses!

All kinds, Cheddar, Jack, American, Mozzarella, Feta...

Is that what you're looking for?

-INRM

[Zep]

CURRENT STATUS

Tacos: Spotted in the area, known to frequent eateries the world over.

Jesus: No signs yet. Is he out to lunch?

Zep

[Samus]

Originally posted by Dragonrock
I find that doubtful as the taco was presented to man by the Great Taco In The Sky when mankind was particularly drunk and hungry one friday night.
Say what you will immoral A-theist, when you have to come before me...


...NO TACO FOR YOU!

[komencanto]

Originally posted by Diamond
It's easy to mock believers on this issue - but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be done:D

I´m athiest, but this guys right.

[crocodile deathroll]

I do know that face. I will keep an eye out for him at every taco joint (or was that the Waco joint)