Coming out of the atheism closet

[zizzybaluba]

On this past anniversary of September 11th, I chose to come out of the Atheism closet to my Friends. I'd had enough of all the 'God bless'ing I'd heard, and though I know all my Friends meant well, I couldn't help but think that the tragedy of September 11th happened for blind faith and a lack of critical thinking. And so I posted as a myspace bulletin (yes, I know, I should know better than to hang around on-line on myspace, but it's been my main source for communication to old Friends for over a year now) that said "Imagine if the hijackers had been brought up to think for themselves; to realize that this life might be all we have. Isn't it better to presume that this is it and just be good to one another?" along with a detailed description of my own lack of religious belief. I described myself to my Friends as an agnostic, but disregarding the semantic difference, as far as this forum is concerned, I think I'm an atheist-- I don't believe in any gods set forth before me, yet in some corner of my heart, I like to think there might be something more at the end of life.
I expected argument. I expected ad-hominem attacks like "you're a drunk! what do you know?". But I didn't get any. Nothing. A co-worker said to me today "I saw what you posted" and I asked "would you like to talk about it?". His answer was "No" and we went on our separate ways. Rather odd; I'd prepared myself for a day full of debate, or at the very least conversation... only to get none at all.
You all are a greatly educated bunch, and I admire all of you (well, almost all, even though I mostly lurk, I can discount Amy Wilson). I'm not expecting much of a response, but I wanted to share this with you.
Thank you all. Even when I don't feel I have much to add, I greatly appreciate reading your threads, which help me to understand I'm not alone in my thinking.
--steve

[Tanstaafl]

Well, I'd like to think that the non-response, was, by and large, a good thing. Maybe you only confirmed for them what they had pretty much already figured out. And they had already come to terms with it.

But then I'm an optimist.

I'm quite sure my friends are all aware of my atheism, though I have not expressed it directly to all of them. My family though, is a different matter. At least 2 of 3 siblings have a good idea of my beliefs, but most or all of the rest of the family may well be under the delusion that I am still a Christian. Some of them are very devout, as far as I can tell true fundamentalists, so they may not take it well if they find out.

I have pretty much elected to go with 'don't ask, don't tell'. I make no real effort to hide my non-belief, but neither do I go out of my way to express it. So far it seems to work for me.

I hope your exit from the closet doesn't cause any crises for you.

--Dave.

[Azure]

Nothing wrong with saying "God Bless America."

People have a right to believe what they want. Poor reason to tell everyone you are an atheist, IMHO.

[Marquis de Carabas]

I expected argument. I expected ad-hominem attacks like "you're a drunk! what do you know?". But I didn't get any. Nothing. A co-worker said to me today "I saw what you posted" and I asked "would you like to talk about it?". His answer was "No" and we went on our separate ways. Rather odd; I'd prepared myself for a day full of debate, or at the very least conversation... only to get none at all.

This lack of response demonstrates fairly conclusively that everyone you know is OK with you burning in Hell. Sorry about that.

[zizzybaluba]

Nothing wrong with saying "God Bless America."

People have a right to believe what they want. Poor reason to tell everyone you are an atheist, IMHO.

If that had been what they said, I'd agree with you. But it was more of a "God bless the USA in her persuit of the unbelievers" type deal.

[zizzybaluba]

This lack of response demonstrates fairly conclusively that everyone you know is OK with you burning in Hell. Sorry about that.

Well, at leat I'll be in good company.

[Azure]

If that had been what they said, I'd agree with you. But it was more of a "God bless the USA in her persuit of the unbelievers" type deal.

Oh.

Very different story then.

[The Atheist]

Hey, Steve, well done! Wish there were more coming out of the closets of USA, but you are definitely in a serious minority.

People are never in any doubt as to my atheism, but I'm lucky to live in a country where it's not only acceptable, it doesn't rate a mention. I note the recent poll where most people would rather their daughter marry a card-carrying communist murderer than an atheist, so it's probably more likely to draw negative comment than if you'd come out and said you were gay.

Cheers & good luck!

[The Atheist]

Well, at leat I'll be in good company.

Don't speak too soon, I'll be there, and so will a lot of other completely unsavoury types - I see you've met the Marquis already!

[Esperdome]

I for one applaud you for coming out to your friends, zizzybaluba. I'm in a situation much like Tanstaafl, being part in and part out. But the way I see it, if my friends can't take it that I'm an atheist, I need a better class of friends. And that's one reason I hang out here as much as I do.

[Azure]

I think I'll wait a long time before I tell my friends and family my new found skepticism in regards to religion.

Maybe in 5 years...

[supercorgi]

Congratulations on being true to yourself. It's not easy to admit to others (particularly in some countries like the US) that you're an athiest. It's horrible that not beliving in god is such a stigma some places. I live in New England US with a lot of commie loving blue state liberals yet even so you find so many people thinking that being an athiest is equivalent with devil worship. Most of my relatives feel sorry for me that I don't believe in an afterlife but I feel sorry for them that they do. Well I guess that's life.

[Complexity]

Congrats! Closets suck. Trying to stay in a closet makes you split yourself - it isn't healthy, it isn't fun, and it is no way to live.

[Polaris]

9/11 put the final nail in the coffin of my religious leanings after it happened, but I haven't started announcing my atheism openly until a few months ago. It taught me in technicolor what religion is all about.

You eventually get passed everybody demanding to know why, and trying to convert you - maybe it took less time for me because, well, people get less pushy if you look like you're capable of barbequeing their extremities. They're generally used to hearing the same responses though, I would imagine. Don't be defensive about your convictions - they prey upon that like vampires.

[Dog Boots]

It feels odd to read these stories from the US from over here in Denmark. That there's even an "atheism closet" to come out of. Here, it's more like the other way around - people are more likely to be surprised if they find out that someone they know really believe in a god.

Good for you, though! Hope everything works out!

[Dave1001]

On this past anniversary of September 11th, I chose to come out of the Atheism closet to my Friends. I'd had enough of all the 'God bless'ing I'd heard, and though I know all my Friends meant well, I couldn't help but think that the tragedy of September 11th happened for blind faith and a lack of critical thinking. And so I posted as a myspace bulletin (yes, I know, I should know better than to hang around on-line on myspace, but it's been my main source for communication to old Friends for over a year now) that said "Imagine if the hijackers had been brought up to think for themselves; to realize that this life might be all we have. Isn't it better to presume that this is it and just be good to one another?" along with a detailed description of my own lack of religious belief. I described myself to my Friends as an agnostic, but disregarding the semantic difference, as far as this forum is concerned, I think I'm an atheist-- I don't believe in any gods set forth before me, yet in some corner of my heart, I like to think there might be something more at the end of life.
I expected argument. I expected ad-hominem attacks like "you're a drunk! what do you know?". But I didn't get any. Nothing. A co-worker said to me today "I saw what you posted" and I asked "would you like to talk about it?". His answer was "No" and we went on our separate ways. Rather odd; I'd prepared myself for a day full of debate, or at the very least conversation... only to get none at all.
You all are a greatly educated bunch, and I admire all of you (well, almost all, even though I mostly lurk, I can discount Amy Wilson). I'm not expecting much of a response, but I wanted to share this with you.
Thank you all. Even when I don't feel I have much to add, I greatly appreciate reading your threads, which help me to understand I'm not alone in my thinking.
--steve

Congrats. It's not easy to be atheist in some parts of America (or the world) and I sense you're in one of those parts.

[andyandy]

It feels odd to read these stories from the US from over here in Denmark. That there's even an "atheism closet" to come out of. Here, it's more like the other way around - people are more likely to be surprised if they find out that someone they know really believe in a god.


Ditto Godless England :D

[I less than three logic]

Well, at leat I'll be in good company.
Go to heaven for the climate; hell for the company. – Mark Twain :D

[Garrette]

I offer my congratulations, too, on coming out, but have to temper it with the admission that I am one of those who are only partly out.

In my military work, everyone knows.

In my civilian work, those who ask know. At least a few have assumed otherwise about it, but since I've had no need to contradict them, I haven't.

Some friends know. Others, I think, suspect.

My parents don't know and I will never tell them.

One sister suspects.

One brother suspects strongly (because he, too, is at least agnostic).

One sister knows because I had to tell her. On the birth of her daughter, she called to say she wanted me to be the godfather. I was so flattered that I immediately said "Of course." Later, I realized that wasn't fair, so I called back and told her (and made her promise not to tell our mother). She took it well. A few days later she called again to say that since my kids seemed okay, she and her husband still wanted me to be the godfather. That floored me.

But the hardest decision I've made is about my kids. I have three. Their mother is quite Catholic; in order to avoid giving the kids the impression they needed to choose between us, I agreed not to advertise my atheism and let her raise them Catholic until they're 16.

In the meantime, it is apparent that the oldest doesn't care about that sort of thing and will, I think, end up agnostic or atheist on his own. The middle one figured out that I'm atheist, is okay with it, and is moderately religious on his own. My youngest doesn't know and takes very readily to the religious environment. But I think she'll be okay with me when she finds out.

[fishbob]

Nothing wrong with saying "God Bless America."

People have a right to believe what they want. Poor reason to tell everyone you are an atheist, IMHO.

You need to read "Crimes Against Logic" by Jamie White.
People have the right to educated opinion. People have an obligation to get educated before opening their stupid pie-holes.

One of the points of the book is that if you can't be bothered with actual facts and reasoning, then you need to just shut the hell up.

[ElWampa]

Loving the Hulk Hogan costume... Totally! :D

[Azure]

You need to read "Crimes Against Logic" by Jamie White.
People have the right to educated opinion. People have an obligation to get educated before opening their stupid pie-holes.

One of the points of the book is that if you can't be bothered with actual facts and reasoning, then you need to just shut the hell up.

So are you going to decide who is stupid, and who isn't?

Strange.

[TheAntiLuddite]

So are you going to decide who is stupid, and who isn't?

Strange.

I think the "stupid" comment may stem from the accumulated exasperation of encountering people who insist that not only is their faith such a firm logical foundation for their own belief, it should immediately prompt you to abandon your "godless" position as well. I have stumbled across people who are genuinely dumbfounded that someone can exist without some form of religious allegiance.

I would not, however, call these people stupid. Delusional and irrational, yes, but not stupid. :)

[Foster Zygote]

Well, at leat I'll be in good company.

As Mark Twain said, "Go to Heaven for the weather, go to Hell for the company".

I've been in your position before. I've gotten surprising agreement from a few cousins and friends while a few expressed touching, but none the less annoying concern.

Steven

[Ginarley]

The interesting thing about atheists is that we aren't really all that organised as a group - so a lack of support is understandable and often a deterrent to "coming out" so to speak. Having said that, we can for the most part think for ourselves so we don't really need someone to hold our hands for us and therefore being organised isn't really that necessary :)

Good job about being open about it - the sooner atheism becomes normal rather than "extremist" the better and the only way that can happen is for atheists to not shy away from the inevitable inquisition. And besides, I really do get the feeling your average religious person these days is not as devout as would have been the case 50 years ago, and many more are willing to accept whatever you believe - or perhaps more likely the collective apathy of society is getting worse! - either way the environment for atheists is better than ever.

[fishbob]

So are you going to decide who is stupid, and who isn't?

Strange.

Not strange at all. Spouting off about something you know little to nothing about is pretty stupid. I don't have to decide. You can decide if you want.

[Azure]

Not strange at all. Spouting off about something you know little to nothing about is pretty stupid. I don't have to decide. You can decide if you want.

Pretty bad when people already have pre-concieved notions of who is stupid, and who isn't.

[Forty-Two]

I have yet to come out of the agnosticism closet to my parents. I probably never will to my extended family, and I certainly never will to my in-laws due to heavy Fundamentalist Christian influence.

My husband is still a faithful Methodist, and he knows and understands my anosticism. He said he went through the same thing. I don't find his statement condescending; like me now, he was very skeptical and said it would take some event that he would not be able to explain in any way other than the existence of God or a god to make him believe again. That's good skepticism. Well, for Mr. 42, apparently that event happened. He doesn't use that as "proof" to convince anyone else to believe as he does, and I respect that. He knows that his own personal anecdote just isn't going to cut it as evidence for anyone but himself, and he leaves it at that.

I'd said in another thread that if I came out as an agnostic at the church where I grew up, I suspect most everyone would be understanding and respectful. They'd probably nod their heads and say, "I went through the same thing..." Now, they probably believe that someday God's going to give me the proof I require, and I highly doubt that "He" will. But again, I remain skeptical and think critically, so I don't rule out that possibility.

Coming out to my parents would be a different matter. At my baptism, they promised to raise me in the church, and they did. I was such a good kid with so many talents that they believed God set me aside for special things. Heck, my token solo when I sang in the church choir was "I Know the Lord has Laid His Hand on Me."

If they knew I was an agnostic, they'd be shocked -- Hasn't 42 always been so obedient? They'd be confused -- Hasn't 42 always been specially blessed by God? They'd feel guilty -- Didn't we do everything we could to make sure that 42 was raised in the church, like we promised?

Even when I was still living near them, I was starting to doubt God's existence, but I still attended church services. I really like the community -- They are like a family to me; the emotional bonds still exist even if the spiritual ones are imaginary. Besides, there's little objectionable in most Methodist services. But, now that I'm half a continent away from my folks, I feel no compulsion to attend church anymore outside of in-laws' family functions.

[fishbob]

Pretty bad when people already have pre-concieved notions of who is stupid, and who isn't.

Who would that be?

[zizzybaluba]

Thank you all! I can't put words to how well you've made me feel about myself.

Everything seems ok so far. I called my mom this evening and said "I'm an atheist!" only to be greeted by "So?" (though I think calling her at 11pm, she was probably just happy I wasn't in jail or any other similar trouble) . At least I have one (important to me) person with me-- perhaps, I'll know for sure tomorrow.

No response from my friends yet. I expect most don't care, out of apathy. But the fellow I work with seems to-- I recently bought his grandmother's house from him and I get the feeling he's thinking "I sold my house to a heathen!!!". eh, at least the lawn's being looked over now.

Thank you all for sharing you're stories of coming to Atheism with me. As I said above, my mom knows. My friends know. My sister on the other hand, I've tried hard to be careful what I say to her. She's going through the RICA (Catholicism's confirmation for adults) in preparation for her marriage. I try hard to encourage her in critical thinking without criticizing what she's been taught (for instance her last class taught her how "god" gave us free will. I asked her "How can free will and effective prayer exist together").

I sincerely hope I can post more often. I'd really like to contribute, but I'm a little on the shy side. I hope you don't see my post count and think badly of me. I'd really like to lose the "New Blood" moniker, but I try and post only when I REALLY think I have something to add.

Take care all,
--steve

[zizzybaluba]

Loving the Hulk Hogan costume... Totally! :D

I suppose I should have seen that comming, seeing as I use the same nickname on here as most anyplace else.

The fellow in the hogan costume is my best buddy. I was Piper.

--gold.

[Cosmo]

I'd really like to lose the "New Blood" moniker,

I think you did. ;)

[Dog Boots]

I have yet to come out of the agnosticism closet to my parents. I probably never will to my extended family, and I certainly never will to my in-laws due to heavy Fundamentalist Christian influence.



Can you eloborate on why not?

If they like you, wouldn't that teach them that atheists can be decent people? Why keep an important personal fact away from people who are quite close to you just because they're different? Why should YOU bear that burden of withholding information?

[Stitch]

As I recall, it was my father that informed me that I was an atheist a quite a tender age following a lengthy questioning session about the origins of the universe. He is still a church warden within the Anglican church and my mother is a methodist. The religious aspect never really spilt over in to my home life however and I certainly wasn't brought up to have to attend church on a Sunday morning.

My father's faith surprises me in many ways, he has a scientific grounding to his education (pharmacist) and tends to be very logical about just about anything else in his life. He's an avid reader of both of religious material as well as things like the Blind Watch Maker, I just wonder how he manages to hold the apparent conflict together without his head exploding.

[KingMerv00]

It feels odd to read these stories from the US from over here in Denmark. That there's even an "atheism closet" to come out of. Here, it's more like the other way around - people are more likely to be surprised if they find out that someone they know really believe in a god.

Good for you, though! Hope everything works out!

It's weird. I live in America but I never felt worried about people knowing about my atheism. To be fair, I live in the northeast.

[Cosmo]

It's weird. I live in America but I never felt worried about people knowing about my atheism. To be fair, I live in the northeast.

I do too. I grew up in northern New Jersey and I'm currently a grad student in Pittsburgh PA, but I've taken the opposite route: I've tried to be very careful about who learns of my atheism.

My rationale is based mostly on some bad experiences I've had in the past. Secularlism is clearly more commonplace in institutions of higher learning than it is in the general public, and it seems like - at least at my university - the religious students react to this and polarize themselves, becoming even more outspoken-ly religious almost as if they were trying to compensate. I remember, freshman year, I let slip to some of my newfound friends that I was an atheist. Some of those people, to this day, refuse to speak with me.

I certainly don't bring up religion in discussion with my friends or with new acquaintances, even though it's one of my favorite topics of discussion. When the topic comes up with anyone who is not a close friend, I still call myself Jewish (my religion by birth).

[I less than three logic]

It's weird. I live in America but I never felt worried about people knowing about my atheism. To be fair, I live in the northeast.
I grew up in a small town in Montana, with a big lit up cross on the hill viewable every night from anywhere in the town, and a church for every bar in town. Trust me, this small town had more than its fair share of bars.

When I was in high school I was asked to leave and was informed I was no longer welcome in one of my friends' house after his foster mother learned I was an atheist. I've written about it before on the forums here.

Don't get me wrong, she was very polite about it. I mean, I doubt that shotgun was even loaded. :D

[Dragonrock]

The only people who know I'm a atheist are my wife and a bunch of non-existant people who put text on a message board. It used to be that everyone knew but then I "found Jesus" and everyone learned about that. The problem was I lost him again a year later and couldn't bring myself to tell anyone. It was about 2 years after my deconversion that I finally told my wife.

[Tanstaafl]

The only people who know I'm a atheist are my wife and a bunch of non-existant people who put text on a message board. It used to be that everyone knew but then I "found Jesus" and everyone learned about that. The problem was I lost him again a year later and couldn't bring myself to tell anyone. It was about 2 years after my deconversion that I finally told my wife.

Two years before you told your wife? Seriously?

How did she take it?

I guess it couldn't be too bad if she's still your wife. I hope it wasn't all too traumatic, though it sounds like it might have been.

[Forty-Two]

Can you eloborate on why not?

If they like you, wouldn't that teach them that atheists can be decent people? Why keep an important personal fact away from people who are quite close to you just because they're different? Why should YOU bear that burden of withholding information?
Since I'd addressed why I haven't told my parents I'm an agnostic (yet, I want to when the time is right), I'll elaborate on why I haven't told my in-laws by telling you a little story about my sister-in-law.

I love my sister-in-law; she's got a great sense of humor (very, very dry) and is a great mother to my nieces and nephew. She is a great person to be around -- unless you bring up religion. She has distain even for other Christians who don't ascribe to the exact same beliefs as she does. Even though she was raised Methodist (as was my more open-minded and patient husband), she got caught up with being Born Again and is very active in a non-denominational church, which ironically, is more dogmatic than most denominational churches.

A few months back, my niece had her dedication ceremony. It's analagous to a baptism, but my SIL's church doesn't believe in baptizing babies. Well, in the course of planning a family outing around the event, my mother-in-law accidentally called it a baptism, since my MIL is steeped in the Methodist tradition and that's their analagous ceremony. It was an honest slip of the tongue, completely inconsequential.

Well, my SIL was insulted and laid into her own mother. "It's not a baptism! It's wrong to baptise babies! They can't make the committment for themselves! Jesus was baptised as an adult! If I baptised my daughter now, she'd have no idea! The only true baptism can come when you're an adult! The Bible says baptising babies is WRONG!"

My MIL apologized for the error, saying that she made the mistake because, you know, she'd baptised her own kids when they were my niece's age, but my SIL couldn't be consoled. "I'm so upset that you baptised me as a baby! I couldn't make that choice for myself! It's wrong to baptise infants! You're wrong! It's says so in the Bible!"

So, yes -- She's picking a fight with her own mother, who is of the same religion, simply because my MIL accidentally called a ceremony by its Methodist name. If she's that unreasonable to people who share a religion with her, I can only imagine how hostile she'd be to me if she found out I don't think God exists.

I love my nieces and nephew, thanks; I'd really like to watch them grow up and be an active part of their lives. Who knows -- maybe when they're older and looking for an alternative to their mother's religious zealotry, they might look to me as a voice of reason. But they can't do that if their mother doesn't let me spend time with them because she thinks I'll "poison" them with agnostic influence.

I'm not lying to her; she's just never thought to ask me my views on religion. I think it has to do with the fallacy: 42 is a good person; only people who believe what I do can be good people; therefore, 42 must believe as I do. And again, so long as we steer the conversation away from religion (which so many people in that family are adept at doing), she's great to be around.

[Tanstaafl]

Wow, that's pretty extreme.

One point, you indicate that most others in the family tip-toe around her regarding religion like you do. I wonder if for any of them the reasons might be closer to yours than you realize? It sounds like a family that could have several closet atheists/agnostics without each them realizing they're not the only one.

I suspect that's pretty close to the state of my family anyway. I suspect one brother may well be an agnostic but neither one of us has gone into the subject enough to really know the other's views.

ETA: I Probably should have made it more clear, this is in response to 42, not the OP.

[Beerina]

The first time I took another man's religious barb inside myself, it was very uncomfortable. Not painful, just uncomfortable in a squirmy sort of way. But psychologically it was very deeply satisfying. It felt so right. Though I was very exposed and open to the world, I was not subordinate to anyone, regardless of my perceived position.

I also knew I was doing something that many people considered wrong, but that just made it more exciting -- in a sense I was superior to them, although I felt a tad guilty since, in a perfect world, this, as a taboo, would evaporate.

[Azure]

Who would that be?

Assuming people are stupid because they have faith....well that would be you.

Just because they don't share the same skepticism sure as hell doesn't make them stupid.

[Dragonrock]

Two years before you told your wife? Seriously?

How did she take it?

I guess it couldn't be too bad if she's still your wife. I hope it wasn't all too traumatic, though it sounds like it might have been.

I posted about it here...

http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?t=29620

It's kinda hard to believe that it's been almost 2 years since then.

[Forty-Two]

One point, you indicate that most others in the family tip-toe around her regarding religion like you do. I wonder if for any of them the reasons might be closer to yours than you realize? It sounds like a family that could have several closet atheists/agnostics without each them realizing they're not the only one.
That might be the case, but I think it's a lot more likely that the less vocal family members are the type who just don't worry about religion or non-religion at all. They go to church and say grace at meals, but they don't lay awake at night thinking about whether or not God exists and whether they have successfully avoided the Lake of Fire.

The only in-law I'd feel comfortable about coming out of the closet to is my father-in-law, who has loved me like a daughter from the first moment we met. He's the one saying grace at meals and singing in the church choir, but other than that he doesn't really focus on religion. Also, I think that there's little I could do that could make him lose respect for me. He's seen how happy I've made his son and he thinks I'm a great person, and he's wise enough not to let a statement like, "I'm an agnostic and have been for most of the time you've known me," change his opinion of me.

[Jeremy]

My parents (whom I live with) are Fundamentalist Baptist, Young-Earth Creationists, the whole nine-yards.

I have recently had the growing urge to "come out of the closet" about my atheism. While I have become progressively more open about it (revealing it to friends, and in some cases, entire classes where discussion turned to subjects where my opinions are glaringly incompatible with Christianity), this just increases the risk of my biggest fear, a sudden discovery by my parents. There is a certain pride and respect in revealing it on my own terms which is more appealing than the eventual unintended revelation. I fear my parents reaction though. My mother will most certainly cry, my father may or may-not yell and scream, but he surely will constantly pester me about it. The possible consequence I dread most is losing my access to the Internet in my parent's attempts to keep these blasphemies from influencing me.

[Dragonrock]

Jeremy,

I understand how hard this is to discuss, and in your case even more so as your parents still have a good deal of control over your life. The only advice I can give is that if they do find out, don't be "in your face" about it. Show that your beliefs have been arrived at rationally. Don't make it a fight if you can avoid it. But, above all, make sure you understand your beliefs yourself. If you don't understand your thoughts then you certainly can explain them to someone else.

I realize now that I began down the road to atheism when I was in highschool and I wish I had had someone to share my feelings with.

[Deus Ex Machina]

My parents (whom I live with) are Fundamentalist Baptist, Young-Earth Creationists, the whole nine-yards.

I have recently had the growing urge to "come out of the closet" about my atheism. While I have become progressively more open about it (revealing it to friends, and in some cases, entire classes where discussion turned to subjects where my opinions are glaringly incompatible with Christianity), this just increases the risk of my biggest fear, a sudden discovery by my parents. There is a certain pride and respect in revealing it on my own terms which is more appealing than the eventual unintended revelation. I fear my parents reaction though. My mother will most certainly cry, my father may or may-not yell and scream, but he surely will constantly pester me about it. The possible consequence I dread most is losing my access to the Internet in my parent's attempts to keep these blasphemies from influencing me.

wow. It had never occurred to me that there was some sort of "atheist closet" to come out of. My parents were atheists and I have never not been one. I don't know whether people and friends know if am an atheist or not.I am totally uninterested in religion or religious debates and I am not like some annoying whinging fundie who brings his beliefs into every conversation whether it has any relevance or not.

I guess it must be tough having parents who seem to have wrapped themselves tightly in a delusion and I don't really know of an easy way out of it.

This thread is the first time (strange but true) that the idea of being some sort of *underground* has even occurred to me.

Good luck to you.

[Deus Ex Machina]

I grew up in a small town in Montana, with a big lit up cross on the hill viewable every night from anywhere in the town, and a church for every bar in town. Trust me, this small town had more than its fair share of bars.

When I was in high school I was asked to leave and was informed I was no longer welcome in one of my friends' house after his foster mother learned I was an atheist. I've written about it before on the forums here.

Don't get me wrong, she was very polite about it. I mean, I doubt that shotgun was even loaded. :D


You know, it's posts like this that do make me realize (once again) that though I do love the USA and love living here - it's still a foreign country.

I cannot imagine banishing someone from my house or my friendship merely over some label. I have among my very good friends a Baptist minister, an RC Priest and pretty much everything from Atheist to Zoroasterist.

Shunning someone because they were a Democrat... well that makes much more sense ;)