I want win MILLION $ CHALLENGE

[helius]

I am new to U.S. I discover something in my home country and bring.

My idea will win Jrf million. Is proof that law of termodynamic wrong.

I invent new idea. Is amazing. will win amazing million!

Idea is I invent something that is eternal powered. I inevent cake. Special cake. This cake prove law of termodynamic wrong!

Idea is: i have found molecules that memory themeselves and rebuild themeselves. Replicate. I put them in cake recipe.

I take bite of cake. Cake is good, cocolate. But then, molecules in reemaining cake remember how cake was, and rebuild cake!

Cake regain old shape. Cake rebuilt. Where was biteen, is now rebuild. So cake never disappear.

OK, it take time for cake to rewbuilt. You take bite, wait maybe two three days. But cake rebuild!

Is proof law termodynamic is wrong, si? Cake rebuild, from scrach, si! Cake never disapear, is eternal!

I need you help me. In home country, they lauf at me. They threat me, shoot me (I have mssing finger; one day i put molecule in and it rebuild?)

I have to flle. I come here, but must hide. they send me back if find me.

Help me. I need english better, and i need special stuuf to make molecule to make cake. Cake is expensive. I need what is called "backer"? I think?

Mister Randi, maybe you help? I need to show you, win milion. I will come back, somebody can post how to win million?

[roger]

Originally posted by helius
Help me. I need english better, and i need special stuuf to make molecule to make cake. Cake is expensive. I need what is called "backer"? I think?

no, no, you make cake with batter. batter.

[roger]

Now that I've had my fun, to win the $1million, start by filling out this application and send to Randi. Link is here: http://www.randi.org/research/challenge.html He doesn't accept all applications, though.

Make sure your application clearly describes what you do, or you will never have a chance.

[Skeptical Greg]

As we have often noted here.. You could do so much better than Randi's million...


Why don't you just sell your cakes?

[aggle_rithm]

Let me get this straight.

You've figured out how to circumvent the laws of thermodynamics. Probably the most fundemental aspect of all scientific thought. Something which, if proven wrong, will completely invalidate almost everything we understand about the universe.

And you're using this knowledge to make CAKE?!?

This cake isn't made of an aggressive species of fungus, is it?

Just curious.

[roger]

why don't you just apply your special molecules onto some ripped up $100 dollar bills?

For an initial investment of $1000 you can make $1 million in just 6 days merely by tearing each bill into 10 fragments and growing a whole bill from each.

That way you can "make" your own $1 million without any need for Randi's challenge.

[uneasy]

Originally posted by helius
Help me. I need english better, and i need special stuuf to make molecule to make cake. Cake is expensive. I need what is called "backer"? I think?


That sounds interesting. How much money do you need to make your cake?

[Beleth]

Does the bitten cake rebuild the bite, or does the bite rebuild the cake? Or do both happen?

You realize what would happen if you ate a piece of this cake, don't you? The mind boggles. Heaven forbid you should chew.

[RichardR]

Originally posted by Diogenes
As we have often noted here.. You could do so much better than Randi's million...


Why don't you just sell your cakes? Because he wants to have his cake and eat it. :D

[Beleth]

Originally posted by Diogenes
Why don't you just sell your cakes? What does the world need more than one regenerating cake for?

[uneasy]

Originally posted by Whodini
helius,
good god you are an awful troll. Here are some pointers. Practice these, and you will be MUCH better.
-Who

Aww, you might have scared the little troll away. Next time, let's all pretend we believe it. Shhh, don't tell.

I'd like to write program for the forum that scans posts for all phrases like "me donta speaka no good englisa", and just replies to them with a link to the application form. Speaking bad English is almost a prerequisite for applying these days.

[No Answers]

This is hilarious. "But cake rebuild!"

Long live the eternal cake!

[DaChew]

The eternal cake has already been done. It's called a Twinkie.

[GroundStrength]

You are way behind man, Jesus had a go a cakes and fishes.

I give this cake no stars.

[helius]

SWINE! I make most important inevntion ever, and you call me GARBAGE!!!

I will explain something to idiots: I have special molecule in cake, but not sure what it is. I discover this by acident. I one day make cake. I put in little this, little that. I try new things.

I make cake, eat slice. Put rest of cake away. next day, I look at cake. Is as if I never ate cake! Slice is back! But cake only, not frosyting! So must be something in cake.

So I try again. And same thing; cake regenerate!

I take cake into lab. (I have degree chemistry) I analise Cake.

But others find out. they tell leader of my country. he want me to use idea to make special bomb. Bomb would expolde, then regenerate! Then explode again! And again!!! he want eternal bomb!

So I run. He send men follow, but I run, and I get here.

I need to know what is in cake make it degenerate. I need money. Will prove law termodynamic wrong, si!

You who make fun of me, shut up face! Others will see, and help. Please respond others; idiots shut up.

[GroundStrength]

I idiot , I englirsh no berry good. Your story full of....holes so perhaps you shut your cakehole (or is that regenerate)

:rolleyes:

[GroundStrength]

AND I really don't see what proving the law of termodynamic is going to do.

Now maybe the laws of thermodynamics, that would be something.

1 law of termodynamic

A cake in motion will tend to stay in motion until is hits the troll's face.

[Beleth]

Helius, what country are you from?

[The Fool]

Anyone want to claim this sockpuppet?

[aggle_rithm]

Originally posted by helius
SWINE! I make most important inevntion ever, and you call me GARBAGE!!!

I will explain something to idiots: I have special molecule in cake, but not sure what it is. I discover this by acident.

Let me guess: Was it in a meteorite?

[helius]

Originally posted by aggle_rithm


Let me guess: Was it in a meteorite?

What has meteorite to do with this? I discover biggest thing ever. You maybe think it came from alien?

Let me explain some more. It come somehow from cake recipe. Shape of cake is fixed when finish baking. Monday I bake cake, cut in half. Wednesday, each half of cake is rebuilt, get two cakes! Each half remember shape and regenerate!

But cake grow no bigger, so must be that it remember shape after baking. Also, frosting no grow back, so is not in frosting.

[GroundStrength]

Well...



I take bite of cake. Cake is good, cocolate. But then, molecules in reemaining cake remember how cake was, and rebuild cake!

Let me explain some more. It come somehow from cake recipe. Shape of cake is fixed when finish baking. Monday I bake cake, cut in half. Wednesday, each half of cake is rebuilt, get two cakes! Each half remember shape and regenerate!


Did you bite it or did you cut it? Remember that you need to try and keep your story straight when trolling.:rolleyes:

[uneasy]

Gleebin snarfy don tobu!
(Trollish for I love cake!)

[Beleth]

Now now people. Just because helius posts in the style of a troll does not meant that he necessarily is one.

I am willing to keep an open mind about his claim but I want to establish his true motives first.


Helius:

- I ask you again: what country are you from?

- You posted here with a challenge request. Roger provided you with the link that explains the formalities of the challenge. Did you follow that link and read the rules there?

- You mentioned that the cake was expensive in your first post. How expensive? That is, how much did you spend on your first cake?

- You also mentioned needing a backer. I assume by this you mean that you need someone who is willing to fund your further experiments. Do you understand that the challenge money will only be granted at the end of a successful demonstration of your claim, and is not designed to help one fund one's research?


A true claimant would answer these easily and truthfully in their next post. A troll would dodge them, or ignore them entirely. I hereby offer you the chance to show us which you are.

[aggle_rithm]

Originally posted by helius


What has meteorite to do with this? I discover biggest thing ever. You maybe think it came from alien?

Let me explain some more. It come somehow from cake recipe. Shape of cake is fixed when finish baking. Monday I bake cake, cut in half. Wednesday, each half of cake is rebuilt, get two cakes! Each half remember shape and regenerate!

But cake grow no bigger, so must be that it remember shape after baking. Also, frosting no grow back, so is not in frosting.

It "remembers" it's shape?

Only one substance can do that. Distilled water!!! Ask any homeopath.

Sorry for blowing your secret. ;)

[GroundStrength]

Originally posted by helius(doofus)
Idea is I invent something that is eternal powered. I inevent cake. Special cake. This cake prove law of termodynamic wrong!

Idea is: i have found molecules that memory themeselves and rebuild themeselves. Replicate. I put them in cake recipe emphasis mine

Later when pressed posted by helius(doofus)
I will explain something to idiots: I have special molecule in cake, but not sure what it is. I discover this by acident. I one day make cake. I put in little this, little that. I try new things. emphasis mine

perhaps this is just more problems with your "ergrish"

:rolleyes:

[No Answers]

Originally posted by helius
I take cake into lab. (I have degree chemistry) I analise Cake.



Thanks for the new sigline addition!

[Questioninggeller]

Helius:

Originally posted by Beleth

Helius:

- I ask you again: what country are you from?

- You posted here with a challenge request. Roger provided you with the link that explains the formalities of the challenge. Did you follow that link and read the rules there?

- You mentioned that the cake was expensive in your first post. How expensive? That is, how much did you spend on your first cake?

[helius]

Originally posted by Beleth
Now now people. Just because helius posts in the style of a troll does not meant that he necessarily is one.

I am willing to keep an open mind about his claim but I want to establish his true motives first.


Helius:

- I ask you again: what country are you from?

- You posted here with a challenge request. Roger provided you with the link that explains the formalities of the challenge. Did you follow that link and read the rules there?

- You mentioned that the cake was expensive in your first post. How expensive? That is, how much did you spend on your first cake?

- You also mentioned needing a backer. I assume by this you mean that you need someone who is willing to fund your further experiments. Do you understand that the challenge money will only be granted at the end of a successful demonstration of your claim, and is not designed to help one fund one's research?


A true claimant would answer these easily and truthfully in their next post. A troll would dodge them, or ignore them entirely. I hereby offer you the chance to show us which you are.

I am sorry I not reply sooner. I am in hide, must post from cafe or library when can get there.

I now answer questions:

I am from Kalmykia. Is run by dictator Kirsan Ilumzhinov, very bad man.

I read rules of challenge. I decide not to apply. here is reason:

Today I find cake baked last week is stale. Has got mold. I need to analise cake deeper. Need money to analise, but cannot get challenge money until cake is perfect.

Man name Agur email he help me. he from Japon. he say he get big money from Japonise banker, to analise cake deeper. So no more moldy cake.

Someday, cake will feed world. No mor4e hunger.
Thank you all who believe me. Maybe when cake goes pubic, I let you buy stock. Other idiots, losers, shut up!

[UnrepentantSinner]

Originally posted by helius
Let me explain some more. It come somehow from cake recipe. Shape of cake is fixed when finish baking. Monday I bake cake, cut in half. Wednesday, each half of cake is rebuilt, get two cakes! Each half remember shape and regenerate!


Congratulations. Your cake batter was apparently infested with Planarians.

You might want to see a doctor if you've eaten much of that cake.

[Spektator]

Helius, what you do is very danger.

Think.

Man eat cake, have accident, cut tonker.

Each part of tonker grow to new tonker.

Now man have two tonkers.

If man want to go out, have to double date.

Dating two women at once much expense.

Your cake ruin ecomedies of country.

Some cakes man not meant to know.

[GroundStrength]

Well doofus...with help from agur you are sure to succeed. Just don't give him reason to make it rain on you.

That cake is going to end hunger? Perhaps but it sure will be a HUGE boon to the septic tank cleaning industry.:eek:

[aggle_rithm]

Originally posted by GroundStrength
Well doofus...with help from agur you are sure to succeed. Just don't give him reason to make it rain on you.

That cake is going to end hunger? Perhaps but it sure will be a HUGE boon to the septic tank cleaning industry.:eek:

Also, that cake might very well have prevented the French Revolution! ;)

[The Central Scrutinizer]

Originally posted by helius
I need what is called "backer"? I think?


I think you mean "barebacker". :eek: :eek:

Are you related to Agur?

[The Central Scrutinizer]

Originally posted by helius
You who make fun of me, shut up face! Others will see, and help. Please respond others; idiots shut up.

Yeah you guys, shut up face! And you idiots shut up!

Helius, I believe you! I will send you a check for $100,000 US. Please post your address.

[The Central Scrutinizer]

Originally posted by helius

Let me explain some more. It come somehow from cake recipe. Shape of cake is fixed when finish baking. Monday I bake cake, cut in half. Wednesday, each half of cake is rebuilt, get two cakes! Each half remember shape and regenerate!

But cake grow no bigger, so must be that it remember shape after baking. Also, frosting no grow back, so is not in frosting.

Was it a chocolate cake?

[glee]

Originally posted by helius
I am from Kalmykia. Is run by dictator Kirsan Ilumzhinov, very bad man.


Did you go to the World Chess Olympiad? Where was it held?

Originally posted by helius
Maybe when cake goes pubic, I let you buy stock.

Gives a new meaning to cakehole. :rolleyes:

Originally posted by helius
Other idiots, losers, shut up!

See, helius, there's my problem.
You post an very unlikely claim and soon start being rude.
So the evidence is that you're a troll.
Please apply your advice to yourself.

[AlienX]

Fruitcake?

AX

[KelvinG]

Does anyone whose first language is English ever apply for Randi's challenge??
It would appear not.

[rwald]

Is it just me, or does helius's claim seem to be a complete joke? I'm not suggesting heilus is a troll. I'm suggesting that his claim is a parody of "real" claims. Satire, if you will. I mean, a cake that grows back? Seriously. Personally, I find it to be a funny joke.

[Rorimack]

Yes, it is a really funny Agur-parody.

He even give us "hints", like contacting Agur. (do you think they could understand each other ;))

R.

[athon]

OMG, I haven't laughed so hard in ages.

If this is a parody, it's very funny. If it isn't, it's very sad (but funny).

:roll:

Athon
(if you put nuts in the cake, do they come back too? the mind boggles...)

[afree87]

This thread is the best! :D

[paiute]

C'mon, people, you have to be quicker on the uptake than this. I am going to have my cake and eat it too?

Love the idea of the regenerating bomb, though. Back of the envelope calculations say that if the quintillion particles remaining from the exploded device regrow, the planet is toast after a couple of cycles.

[thaiboxerken]

Originally posted by helius
I am new to U.S. I discover something in my home country and bring.

My idea will win Jrf million. Is proof that law of termodynamic wrong.

I invent new idea. Is amazing. will win amazing million!

Idea is I invent something that is eternal powered. I inevent cake. Special cake. This cake prove law of termodynamic wrong!



Shut the F&^* up and send in your application already!!
;)



P.S. I know the thread is a joke. At least, I hope it is.

[DeathToSophists]

Every time I bake something, especially cake, it disappears independent of any act of consumption or conservation I seek to apply to it.

This is entropy at its worst; I never get to enjoy my work :mad:

[Kullervo]

Where'd Glee hie off to? I think his last post was in this thread.

Glee, where're you hiding?

[glee]

Originally posted by Kullervo
Where'd Glee hie off to? I think his last post was in this thread.

Glee, where're you hiding?

As Oscar Wilde said "there's only one thing worse than being talked about - and that's not being talked about." (He also said at a Customs checkpoint that he had nothing to declare but his genius!)
Anyway ultimate fame is when your absence is noticed from an Internet message board! :D
I'm on holiday (playing chess, of course).
As the Terminator observed "I'll be back!"

[plindboe]

Hilarious!!! I love this thread!

Peter :D

[Powa]

I remember I've heard of someone who used these same molecules with bread and fish some 2000 years ago... Alas, for the life of me can't remember his name...
:con2:

Powa the Clueless

[XRX]

Hahaha!

[Bluegill]

Originally posted by DeathToSophists
Every time I bake something, especially cake, it disappears independent of any act of consumption or conservation I seek to apply to it.

This is entropy at its worst; I never get to enjoy my work :mad:


Actually, this might explain the phenomenon. Researchers at Betty Crocker Labs have recently tentatively demonstrated that a type of wormhole may form during the baking of cakes. Under extreme conditions (the ungodly temperature of 425 degrees F.), "yellow cake conduits" may form, stretching from a cake baked in one place and time to a cake in another place and time. Though most such conduits collapse in less than a millionth of a second, the Crocker researchers have found results indicating that some of these "pie holes" might be stable and last for minutes, or even days. As Isaac "Fig" Newton said, batter can neither be created nor destroyed, but only changed in form.

In such a case, matter from one cake may continually flow to another cake. This might explain the results you are getting. You really should call the folks at Betty Crocker (their 1-800 is on the box.)

Last but not yeast, I'm even more intrigued by their research into batter and antibatter, also known as angel's food and devil's food. It's said that if cakes of these two types of batter come into contact with one another, they would instantly annihilate one another, along with any cooks loitering nearby.

[George152]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by helius
[B]SWINE! I make most important inevntion ever, and you call me GARBAGE!!!

I will explain something to idiots: I have special molecule in cake, but not sure what it is. I discover this by acident. I one day make cake. I put in little this, little that. I try new things.

I make cake, eat slice. Put rest of cake away. next day, I look at cake. Is as if I never ate cake! Slice is back! But cake only, not frosyting! So must be something in cake.

So I try again. And same thing; cake regenerate!

I take cake into lab. (I have degree chemistry) I analise Cake.

But others find out. they tell leader of my country. he want me to use idea to make special bomb. Bomb would expolde, then regenerate! Then explode again! And again!!! he want eternal bomb!
Congratulations ! your message has exceeded the skeptometer settings and it has exploded


So I run. He send men follow, but I run, and I get here.

I need to know what is in cake make it degenerate. I need money. Will prove law termodynamic wrong, si!

I have this bridge hardly used. The last troll ate an uneateable cake and undigested it all in one lump...