Hal Lindsey Cartoon-Are You Ready?

[billiefan2000]

http://www.hallindsey.com/cartoon_view.asp?CID=085



has a cartoon all Christians and Non-Christians should see.

[A_Feeble_Mind]

I don't get it. What's the joke?

[no one in particular]

Wow, that cartoon…it was so…so…meaningful. I reject this heathen lifestyle! Tell me billiefan2000, how can I be saved too?!



Does it have anything to do with Teal Redman? Or can I dig those chicks that play Lorelia, Rory, Paris or Lane? By the way, do you think Paris will be in the next season, or do you think she will go away to school? Heck, anyone with an opinion on Gilmore Girls, speak up! Halleluiah!

[Frostbite]

I don't get it either.

[Barkhorn1x]

Originally posted by A_Feeble_Mind
I don't get it. What's the joke?

Ok- here is my take;

- The dates indicate that all them revelations hinted at in the bible are about to be fulfilled - praise Jesus. So...

- God points ominously to the hour glass, showing Jesus that soon he will have to get off his messianic ass and actually do something for the human race.

- Jesus looks at God as if to say, "WTF - so soon!! Why don't we give those sinners about 500 more years as this here throne-like chair is damn comfortable!"

Well, that's my interpretation anyway.


Barkhorn.


Teal Redman - ONLY on the WB. ;)

[hgc]

The key is the tagline at the bottom. "Will the next Peace Deal come out of Europe? Rome? Jesus is coming in the clouds - maybe today!"

Translation: Emphasis on Rome is a not so subtle allusion to the old Pope-as-Antichrist thing. Remember if the Antichrist is not abroad in the land, then the big event is not just around the corner. What better candidate than that crazy pope running a saint factory down there in Rome.

[no one in particular]

Come on folks, what is not to get? Superboy in right on the edge of his seat ready to come back an’ take his flock into their heavenly home. Praise be! Skydaddy is holding out his hand, as if to say in his deep skydaddy voice, “Now, hold now-I say hold on there superboy, this big freakin’ hourglass has not run out just yet! There is still a little more time for th’ heathens to receive my eternal blessing, you know, the ones who do not want to be damned in hell, that is!”

Oh, also, there is some lame thing about peace in the Middle East so that a temple may be built and a new Rome (EU) or some such nonsense.


edited to say, dagnabit! Whilst I was typing the question was answered!

[Buddy]

Why isn't jesus's hair gray yet? The guy is 2000 years old!! I wonder if he uses Just For Men (c) hair coloring?

[Martin]

Who is Teal Redman, anyway?

[hgc]

Originally posted by Buddy
Why isn't jesus's hair gray yet? The guy is 2000 years old!! I wonder if he uses Just For Men (c) hair coloring?
It's Just For Jesus Hair Coloring!

[Upchurch]

My question is, why does Billiefan keep warning us that a cartoon is coming (i.e. "Are You Ready?")?

Seems to me that if we read the title of the thread, we understand what the thread is about and have a pretty good idea of the nature of the material we will find therein. Why bother checking to see that we are ready?

[Roadtoad]

Originally posted by Upchurch
My question is, why does Billiefan keep warning us that a cartoon is coming (i.e. "Are You Ready?")?

Seems to me that if we read the title of the thread, we understand what the thread is about and have a pretty good idea of the nature of the material we will find therein. Why bother checking to see that we are ready?

Because some people lack something resembling a LIFE.

You know, people have been predicting Christ's return since the 1800s, and for centuries before then, even. Jesus himself said that in the last days, there would be people like Lindsay who would be out there declaring: "There He is!" or "He's out in the desert!" Jesus HIMSELF said not to listen to these people.

Funny, I trust Jesus more than I do Hal Lindsay, or Billiefan, for that matter.

For that matter, I've made my opinion on this topic known already. (See The Rapture Index Thread.) Frankly, dire predictions of Christ's return do nothing except IRRITATE ME. (And if I keep going on this, Hal is going to ban me.) ENOUGH ALREADY!

[justsaygnosis]

Can't you hear the crickets?

[Roadtoad]

Originally posted by justsaygnosis
Can't you hear the crickets?

I have. Keeps me up nights. I'm calling an exterminator. :D

[Filippo Lippi]

You'd have thought the big guy would have more tasteful interior design

[UnrepentantSinner]

Originally posted by Roadtoad
For that matter, I've made my opinion on this topic known already. (See The Rapture Index Thread.) Frankly, dire predictions of Christ's return do nothing except IRRITATE ME. (And if I keep going on this, Hal is going to ban me.) ENOUGH ALREADY!

You mean Lindsey or Bidlack?

I was flipping channels in the last day or two and saw TBN shilling videos of the latest prophecy conference. In the 20 seconds I watched, it appeared all the heavy hitters were there like LeHay, Lindsey and a bunch old guys who's name I'd probably recognize but not their face.

It must have been the equivalent of a Tony Robbins seminar for the billiefans of the world.

[Hazelip]

Well, it looks like yet another depictoin of saviorkid and skydaddy as white guys... :rolleyes:

Is that the joke?

[Gregor]

Is it a joke about a shy, self-conscious, young woman whose personal missonary journey is to post Xian comments on a skeptics' message board and run away - her posts serving as some sort of personal penance for her doubts about her religion and her religious convictions and the occasional sinful thoughts that creep into her head when she least expects them?

[aggle_rithm]

Reminds me of a t-shirt:

"Jesus is coming. Try to look busy."

[KillerBob]

It's 2003 for Christ's sake (pun intended), you'd think the big guy could upgrade from an hourglass!

[Skeptical Greg]

Speaking of ' anthropomorphism "...

Oh, you weren't?.. Well, I gues I will..

White bearded old man? ( caucasian )

Fabio with a beard? ( caucasian also... )

Gold jeweled thrones?


' Cartoon ' Is really appropriate....

I'll stop laughing at your beliefs, when you stop believing in funny stuff...

[Barkhorn1x]

Originally posted by Martinm
Who is Teal Redman, anyway?

She is a 21 year old hottie that has an ongoing role in the TV Series "Gilmore Girls" on the WB.

One of my theories is that Billiefan is in fact Teal Redman. I can't go into the details now - but you could always do a search of old Billiefan threads for more info.

BTW, Billiefan is the quintessential "hit-and-run poster".

(Not to be confused w/ the "hit-and-run pastor" referenced on another thread!)


Ha good one on me. ;)


Barkhorn.

[Upchurch]

Yikes (http://www.hallindsey.com/cartoon_view.asp?CID=82)

[richardm]

Originally posted by Upchurch
Yikes (http://www.hallindsey.com/cartoon_view.asp?CID=82)

Whoa! Predatory!


Edited to add: There comes a time in many cartoonist's careers when they simply run out of ideas, and churn out visual doggerel to keep the paychecks coming.

Was Hal Lindsey ever amusing or interesting, or has he always produced this sort of mindless junk?

[Barkhorn1x]

Originally posted by Upchurch
Yikes (http://www.hallindsey.com/cartoon_view.asp?CID=82)


Is that - "Uncle Samuel" ???

;)

Barkhorn.

[Skeptical Greg]

Originally posted by Barkhorn1x



BTW, Billiefan is the quintessential "hit-and-run poster".

(Not to be confused w/ the "hit-and-run pastor" referenced on another thread!)


Ha good one on me. ;)


Barkhorn.

He/she/it has actually engaged once or twice.. When this happens, it is not particularly distinguishable from the post and run behaviour, though..

[Roadtoad]

Originally posted by Upchurch
Yikes (http://www.hallindsey.com/cartoon_view.asp?CID=82)

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D

[triadboy]

Why are they keeping the Holy Ghost in that bottle?

[Upchurch]

And now for something we hope you'll really enjoy (http://www.hallindsey.com/cartoons.asp).

Just for the record, there are a few of these cartoons I find genuinely clever and/or funny. The War Against Terrorism and Vanished both have a certain wit to them. (Okay, with Vanished, I just enjoy seeing the hijacking b@stards going down in flames.)

[Lord Emsworth]

As for this one:Weapons of Mass Devotion (http://www.hallindsey.com/cartoon_view.asp?CID=74)

Sad but true. Religious zeal is a strong weapon.

[blackadder65738]

I don't think Hal Lindsey drew these cartoons. It appears to be the guy whose photo is right above them. Why does anybody listen to anything Hal Lindsey says? He wrote the Late Great Planet Earth nearly 30 YEARS ago, and none of the crap in it has come to pass! It's been edited and re-released repeatedly, sometimes with blank spaces where the outdated material had been. Some people are just gullible, I guess.

[Roadtoad]

Originally posted by blackadder65738
I don't think Hal Lindsey drew these cartoons. It appears to be the guy whose photo is right above them. Why does anybody listen to anything Hal Lindsey says? He wrote the Late Great Planet Earth nearly 30 YEARS ago, and none of the crap in it has come to pass! It's been edited and re-released repeatedly, sometimes with blank spaces where the outdated material had been. Some people are just gullible, I guess.

Why does anyone listen to Pat Robertson, even though he declared AS A PROPHECY that God told him that he would be the next President in 1988. The Bible is clear: If someone claims something he says is a prophecy, and that prophecy fails to come to pass, YOU ARE NOT TO LISTEN TO THEM, EVER AGAIN.

Care to guess how much Robertson makes per year? From people who claim to be Good Christians?

I don't read Hal Lindsay anymore. I don't read Robertson's garbage, (trash is too elevated a description), and I tend to avoid Christian book stores anymore, mainly because I don't groove on being assaulted with the latest and greatest in Holy Hardware.

Enough.

[St_Hereticus]

How can Junior be sitting next to Big Daddy? I thought they were one and the same. And where's the Spook?

[calladus]

Originally posted by Upchurch
Yikes (http://www.hallindsey.com/cartoon_view.asp?CID=82)

Wow! I love how the cartoonist got that subtle feeling of insane psychotic shaded into his work. It looks like Jesus forgot to take his lithium!

[The Central Scrutinizer]

Originally posted by Martinm
Who is Teal Redman, anyway?

A famous porno actress in America.

[Dragonrock]

I have a question, is billiefan the one who said that the logical goddess was gonna blind everyone when she returned from the Death Star?

Or am I thinking of someone else?

[Roadtoad]

Originally posted by Dragonrock
I have a question, is billiefan the one who said that the logical goddess was gonna blind everyone when she returned from the Death Star?

Or am I thinking of someone else?

Someone else. I think Billiefan was the one who wanted to be Martha Stewart's prison bitch.

[UnrepentantSinner]

Originally posted by Roadtoad
Why does anyone listen to Pat Robertson, even though he declared AS A PROPHECY that God told him that he would be the next President in 1988. The Bible is clear: If someone claims something he says is a prophecy, and that prophecy fails to come to pass, YOU ARE NOT TO LISTEN TO THEM, EVER AGAIN.

Care to guess how much Robertson makes per year? From people who claim to be Good Christians?

I don't read Hal Lindsay anymore. I don't read Robertson's garbage, (trash is too elevated a description), and I tend to avoid Christian book stores anymore, mainly because I don't groove on being assaulted with the latest and greatest in Holy Hardware.

Enough.

I was going to truncate your quote, but I think every word in it is salient. :)

I've mentioned that one of my closest IRL friends is an Eastern Orthodox deacon. An on-line friend, who became my travel agent, is veeeery Southern Baptist. Many of my friends and my family (especially on my dad's side) are very much into their Christian faith. And you know what?

NONE of them believe any of this "signs of the times" bu!!$h!t.

One recurrent theme from my Christian friends and family is that they don't have a sense of lack of control of their lives. They may not be living the life of Riley, but they don't live every day in a fog of uncertainty and wondering "what the hell is wrong with this world."

One thing that seems to be an underlying current of people that seem to accept this date setting crap is that they do seem to be filled with uncertainty and wondering "what the hell is wrong with this world." I wonder if people buy into this crap because they are so desperate for stability or certainty that they grasp onto these flimsy (and 1970 year old) predictions of the immenent return of Jesus - and a new perfect certain world.

Hmmm, maybe this topic deserves it's own thread. Hopefully the God Haters won't hijack it. :cool:

[c4ts]

GOD: Isn't there some sort of commandment against graven images of Me?

JESUS: Just say the word and I will personally kick Hal Lindsey's ass until he's sorry.

GOD: Wait until the hourglass is up. I'm still watching this really cool war in the Middle East.