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headscratcher4
19th October 2006, 01:28 PM
Spanish King Denies Shooting Drunk Bear -- from the AP

I don't know why, but this amuses me...besides, you don't really need the details, the headline says it all....

This Guy
19th October 2006, 01:29 PM
Was he in his pajamas?

(someone out there will get this!;-)

headscratcher4
19th October 2006, 01:31 PM
"My name is King juan Carlos, the African explorer...." ;)

crackers
19th October 2006, 01:31 PM
We are rapidly approaching the point when headlines from newspapers will become indistinguishable from headlines from The Onion.

Skeptic
19th October 2006, 01:36 PM
We are rapidly approaching the point when headlines from newspapers will become indistinguishable from headlines from The Onion.

Approaching? We're way past it.

Nature published an article where a scientist discovered a new species (or genus?) of rodents when he discovered an animal about to be deep-fried by a street vendor in (I think) Laos. A few days earlier "The Onion"'s headline was "New and Delicious Species discovered".

Their 9/11 and Middle East headlines are still more accurate than anything else I've read in the "serious" papers:

1). "HOLY F**KING S**T" after 9/11
2). "Peace Process Derailed, Bursts into Flames, Covered Over with Dirt" after yet another suicide bombing.

senorpogo
19th October 2006, 01:38 PM
Was he in his pajamas?

(someone out there will get this!;-)

circa 1930 reference received and appreciated

Tricky
19th October 2006, 01:49 PM
Spanish King Denies Shooting Drunk Bear -- from the AP

I don't know why, but this amuses me...besides, you don't really need the details, the headline says it all....

Reminds me of the story of the wealthy snot who wanted to shoot a lion. Problem is, he was a terrible coward, and whenever a lion showed up he was trembling too much to shoot. So one of his wealthy friends devised a plan whereby he went to the lion's favorite watering hole, drained it and refilled it with vodka. The lion came down to drink and soon became so drunk he fell asleep, whereupon Snotty came down and shot it as it snored.

Inordinately proud of himself, he proposed a great feast where the main course would be, (what else) lion steaks. And so he invited all of his friends to come down and "dine on the sotted lion".

If you didn't get this, then maybe you are not a native English speaker, or perhaps just terribly inexperienced, but in America, when you are asked to put your signiture on something, they say,

"Sign on the dotted line".

Luke T.
19th October 2006, 02:48 PM
Spanish King Denies Shooting Drunk Bear -- from the AP

I don't know why, but this amuses me...besides, you don't really need the details, the headline says it all....

Not that this has anything to do with anything, but when my ship was getting ready to port in Spain, our port brief included a warning not to harm any trees while in Spain as they all belonged to the King.

Naval port briefs are one of the great undiscovered countries of humor.

fuelair
19th October 2006, 03:10 PM
circa 1930 reference received and appreciated

What he was doing in my pajamas I don't know (app.) (Some Marxist)

senorpogo
19th October 2006, 03:17 PM
What he was doing in my pajamas I don't know (app.) (Some Marxist)

I believe that appeared in the Duck Soup Manifesto, but I may be wrong.

(God bless Turner Classic Movies for introducing me to the Marxist doctrine.

This Guy
19th October 2006, 03:21 PM
I believe that appeared in the Duck Soup Manifesto, but I may be wrong.

(God bless Turner Classic Movies for introducing me to the Marxist doctrine.

I forget which it was also. But I love those guys :)

A line I use often is "I wouldn't belong to any club that would have me as a member"

Mike B.
19th October 2006, 03:22 PM
Approaching? We're way past it.

Nature published an article where a scientist discovered a new species (or genus?) of rodents when he discovered an animal about to be deep-fried by a street vendor in (I think) Laos. A few days earlier "The Onion"'s headline was "New and Delicious Species discovered".

Their 9/11 and Middle East headlines are still more accurate than anything else I've read in the "serious" papers:

1). "HOLY F**KING S**T" after 9/11
2). "Peace Process Derailed, Bursts into Flames, Covered Over with Dirt" after yet another suicide bombing.

Here is one that I think may be MORE accurate than other headlines:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/54113

NORTH KOREA DETONATES 40 YEARS OF GDP.

Tricky
19th October 2006, 03:52 PM
A line I use often is "I wouldn't belong to any club that would have me as a member"
Woody Allen in Annie Hall.

Sadly, he never got his pet project filmed, "Honey I ********** the Kids".

TragicMonkey
19th October 2006, 03:54 PM
Woody Allen in Annie Hall.


I thought it was Groucho Marx?

This Guy
19th October 2006, 03:56 PM
Woody Allen in Annie Hall.

Sadly, he never got his pet project filmed, "Honey I ********** the Kids".

Maybe Woody borrowed it. But Groucho said it long before Annie Hall (been a long time since I've AH, don't remember it well enough to recall that being in there)

tkingdoll
19th October 2006, 04:21 PM
I saw one yesterday that made me giggle:

Police Uncover Counterfeit Gang

Polaris
19th October 2006, 04:23 PM
Here are two good ones:

Judge Orders Woman Not To Get Pregnant

Britney's Husband Booed, Body-Slammed

Source here: http://www.nbc5i.com/index.html