The Astrologers are Right

[JoeTheJuggler]

The planets can affect human behavior!

I've got a great big bump on my head that I attribute directly to Mercury.

Mercury was scheduled to transit the Sun on Wednesday afternoon. I wanted to lug my telescope out onto the front balcony and project an image onto a peice of foamcore attached to a tripod. Unfortunately, some time ago, my landlord sealed up the door to the balcony because it kept leaking into the downstairs apartment. So I had to wrestle the very heavy equatorial mount and then the 'scope itself out through the window.

I left the curtains hanging over the window, and one of several trips in and out, I misjudged exactly where the bottom edge of the window was (since I was sort of going "through the curtain")--and I cracked my head solidly on the bottom of the window.

[Quinn]

I agree. I long ago lost count on the number of injuries I received specifically due to the location of the planet Earth. In all of these cases, if my body had travelled the exact same path and Earth hadn't gotten in my way, I would have escaped without injury. Clearly those who claim the position of the planets have no effect on our welfare are just scared of the evidences.

[delphi_ote]

I've found that the position of the Earth with respect to the sun renders me temporarily blind every single day!

[hubbub2]

Yes, but if you had consulted Sylvia Browne, she would predicted it wouldn't happen.:duck:

[oponol]

Astrology is such a crock it's unbelievable. I don't understand how so many papers and stuff can employ astrologers either.

[oponol]

Actually I can understand why - if there are people willing to believe that stuff and pay for it. So I guess what I mean is I don't understand how anyone can believe in it. Why choose planets anyway? Why not use volcanoes to predict people's lives, or the stockmarket? That would be funny to set up a parody of astrologers in a paper by claiming you can predict people's futures based on earthquake activity and make up a series of "signs" for people to fall under.

[delphi_ote]

Actually I can understand why - if there are people willing to believe that stuff and pay for it. So I guess what I mean is I don't understand how anyone can believe in it. Why choose planets anyway? Why not use volcanoes to predict people's lives, or the stockmarket? That would be funny to set up a parody of astrologers in a paper by claiming you can predict people's futures based on earthquake activity and make up a series of "signs" for people to fall under.
I don't know. I think your stock market idea might actually go somewhere. You could probably fleece some rich guys out of some serious change if you convinced them you had dynamite nonlinear mathematics that would predict their life based on the behavior of certain markets.

[enjoytheview]

"if you understood that when your ruler Mercury went retrogade in late October, the coming three weeks would be about (insert random waffle)"

Boy am i glad that the horoscopes fit on only one page of the paper and can be easily ripped out and recycled without too much effort

[delphi_ote]

"if you understood that when your ruler Mercury went retrogade in late October, the coming three weeks would be about (insert random waffle)"

Boy am i glad that the horoscopes fit on only one page of the paper and can be easily ripped out and recycled without too much effort
The recycle bin is too good for that garbage. Even the slight effort is such a waste.

This effort, on the other hand?
:jrefwelcome
Totally worth it.

[politas]

Astrology is such a crock it's unbelievable. I don't understand how so many papers and stuff can employ astrologers either.

Bwahahaha! Newspapers and magazine's don't employ "astrologers". They give the job of writing the astrology column to the newest, most lowly-paid writer on staff.

[JonnyFive]

"Earth is in the house of Gemini. Descending to Earth too fast will hurt you today."

[Cello Man]

The horoscopes from The Onion are where it's at.