Mystic Meg's Euromillions lottery tips

[FarSideOfTheMoon]

Hi,

There is a £120 million jackpot in tonight's euro millions draw, I thought I would share Mystic Meg's advice on how to win from today's Sun newspaper.

5 Top Tips

1. The draw is on a Friday which will make people born on this day naturally lucky.
2. Lucky planet Jupiter is in the zodiac's eighth house, so people who live at no 8 or no 88 get lucky bonus points.
3. Venus, planet of luxury, is promising to increase wealth for betting shops staff, stable workers, and singing group - and a tax inspector.
4. The runes indicate that names beginning with S and J are in line for mega-money.
5. Luckiest signs are Gemini and Scorpio

5 Psychic Steps

1. The euromillions draw takes place in France so be sure to have something French in your house.
2. Money attracts money, so put 7 coins on top of your lottery ticket.
3. The moon shines its winning light on the sign of Gemini, so buy a ticket with a Gemini pal.
4. Keep repeating your numbers in your mind to energise them so they appear in the draw.
5. Attract luck by keeping a green plan in your hallway to welcome good fortune.

Jeez, I wish I'd known all this before I bought my ticket. As an Aquarious IT worker, living at no 46, and born on a Tuesday, I don't really have any chance tonight.

I can't even put 7 coins on my ticket as I bought it online.

For those not in the know, Euromillions is a lottery played in several european countries. The odd of the jackpot are something like 80 million to 1, and it has rolled over for several weeks now. We don't normally have jackpots this size, so it is creating a small amount of national hysteria (according to the press anyway). Mystic Meg is a tramp who used to be a journalist or something, and writes horoscopes in the Sun/News of the World and is the 'offical' lottery psychic/astrologer, in that she used to be on the tv show on a Saturday night.

[This Guy]

It would be nice, if there is a winner this drawing, to compare their information to the lists above, and see how much agreement there is :)

[Starthinker]

Man, that's a lot of work. What do I have to do if I only want to win, say, 2 million?

[FarSideOfTheMoon]

If I win, I'm going to Venus to spend my winnings on all the luxuries they have there.

[Darat]

...snip...

5 Psychic Steps

1. The euromillions draw takes place in France so be sure to have something French in your house.


I have French wine, French books, some old French coins & French cheese in my house and undoubtedly other French stuff.


2. Money attracts money, so put 7 coins on top of your lottery ticket.


I've got 7 coins.


3. The moon shines its winning light on the sign of Gemini, so buy a ticket with a Gemini pal.

I'm a "Gemini".


4. Keep repeating your numbers in your mind to energise them so they appear in the draw.

I can count from 1 to 49.


5. Attract luck by keeping a green plan in your hallway to welcome good fortune.


My hall carpet is green.


I am available to hire as your "psychic good luck charm" for 25% of any winnings or £10 which ever is more.

[JonnyFive]

3. Venus, planet of luxury, is promising to increase wealth for betting shops staff, stable workers, and singing group - and a tax inspector.

Hey, I think that she might have something there.

[Big Al]

5. Luckiest signs are Gemini and Scorpio.

I'm a Scorpio! I'm a Scorpio! :eye-poppi :eye-poppi :eye-poppi


Err... how come I never win anything? Ever?

[Timble]

I'm a Gemini, perhaps we'll get lucky tonight...as the squadron of pigs performs a fly-past.

[Mojo]

3. The moon shines its winning light on the sign of Gemini, so buy a ticket with a Gemini pal.Note how this extends a "hit" from the ticket being bought by someone whose sign is Gemini to it being bought by someone who knows someone whose sign is Gemini.

[BillC]

1. The draw is on a Friday which will make people born on this day naturally lucky.I'm out.
2. Lucky planet Jupiter is in the zodiac's eighth house, so people who live at no 8 or no 88 get lucky bonus points.Not me.
3. Venus, planet of luxury, is promising to increase wealth for betting shops staff, stable workers, and singing group - and a tax inspector.None of these.
4. The runes indicate that names beginning with S and J are in line for mega-money.No good for me.
5. Luckiest signs are Gemini and ScorpioCurse you, astrology!!!

[Tanja]

Well, I have French things in my house, I have green things in my house, I am a Gemini, but I forgot to buy a ticket :(
(oh, that's £1.50 saved then)

[Big Al]

So if everybody follows Mystic Meg's advice, they'll all win absolute peanuts. Great.

[Timble]

I didn't even win peanuts, I could have bought quite a big bag for £1.50

[monster mother]

The Sun!
Mystic Meg!
Hell,didn't know the Beano was employing clairvoyants now. :p

[Darat]

I didn't win - can I sue Mystic Meg for the distress this has caused me and the financial ruin? (I placed an order for a £35 million yacht on the strength of her advice.)

Should add I didn't actually buy a ticket - but that didn't alter the odds did it?

[FarSideOfTheMoon]

Mystic Meg has probably lost her "credibility" :D due to the lottery associations, although she still has a presence online. I don't know if she writes her pish regularly in the 'English Sun' still.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/section/0,,2004470001,00.html

I get to read the Scottish Sun most days, their resident psychic is a Katie Coutts, she gets a whole page of letters from relatives of the recently deceased asking the usual questions and getting the usual answers. "Yes, he really is in heaven" "Yes, he really did love you" "No, he didn't suffer" etc etc etc It is really depressing reading. Can't find it online though.

Good pointer to her ways within this article though, she does readings for £85 but you can't record them because it will interfere with what she is picking up from the spirits. Hmmm.

http://www.sundayherald.com/49292

[BillC]

I didn't win - can I sue Mystic Meg for the distress this has caused me and the financial ruin? (I placed an order for a £35 million yacht on the strength of her advice.)Can I borrow your yacht when you've finished paying for it?

[Big Al]

"Yes, he really is in heaven" "Yes, he really did love you" "No, he didn't suffer" etc etc etc

I'm waiting to hear of a clairvoyant saying, "Well, I'm sorry, but Fred whored and gambled his whole life away. He's burning in horrible torment and will be for all eternity.

"Sorry 'bout that."

Of course, it might be argued that the CV will lose clients, but if she's prepared to lie in certain cases, how can you trust anything she says?

[FarSideOfTheMoon]

Anyone who has to write this stuff on a regular basis for national newspapers and doesn't allow their readings to be recorded, isn't the self delusional type of psychic Rather I would classify them as the leeching cynical de-frauding cancerous scum type.

[JonnyFive]

I'm waiting to hear of a clairvoyant saying, "Well, I'm sorry, but Fred whored and gambled his whole life away. He's burning in horrible torment and will be for all eternity.

Same here.

You never hear any of them going on about how the "spirit" thinks so-and-so is a jerk who never called either. Everyone is so mellow in the afterlife, I guess.

[Big Al]

Same here.

You never hear any of them going on about how the "spirit" thinks so-and-so is a jerk who never called either. Everyone is so mellow in the afterlife, I guess.

LOL! That would be the icing on the cake, Jonny: "Your father says you were always his least favourite. In fact, he took poison just to get away from you. He says he hopes you'll have a horrible life and die in long-drawn-out agony. No offence!"

Likewise, a fortune-teller: "Oh, my! If I were you, I'd stay at home and hide under the bed. I see all your stocks and shares becoming worthless ... I see your bank foreclosing on the mortgage ... expensive divorce proceedings soon after that ... alcoholism ...

"Still, look on the bright side. It looks as if they'll be naming a hideous, uncurable syndrome after you."

[Zygar]

I found my new calling in life! The negative psychic!

"You have 3 days to live. You can avoid this by jumping off of the Brooklyn Bridge in 2 days."


"Your wife has been cheating on you with your boss. You should shoot them both and run away to Pakistan to join the Taliban."

"Your house is on an unknown fault-line. You should sell it immediately before the 'Big One' hits. I'll give you 50% of the current value."

[JonnyFive]

"Still, look on the bright side. It looks as if they'll be naming a hideous, uncurable syndrome after you."

"The good news is you're going to be famous soon. The bad news... uh... well, at least you'll be famous!"


I found my new calling in life! The negative psychic!

I predict that your predictions have an 85% chance of resulting in legal action against you if Venus is in the house of Tarus, which it is because I've redefined those terms to mean whatever is happening with the planets right now.

[Big Al]

"The good news is you're going to be famous soon. The bad news... uh... well, at least you'll be famous!"

"You know how you always wanted to be a big name in the medical world? Well, guess what? You get your wish!

"Oh, I forgot to mention: cancel that cycling trip. Those haemorrhoids are going to be quite troublesome.

"Care for a cyanide pill?"

[Zygar]

You will be visited by Vinnie. He will bring his 'associates'. I can interfere in this by putting a curse on Vinnie.

That'll be $10,000 for the curse, I'll send Vinnie to collect it.