Favorate Quotes

[Bill Thompson]

"Man, once surrendering his reason, has no remaining guard against absurdities the most monstrous, and like a ship without a rudder, is the sport of every wind. With such persons, gullibility, which they call faith, takes the helm of reason, and the mind becomes a wreck." - Thomas Jefferson

"Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth, more than ruin, more even than death. Thought is subversive and revolutionary, destructive and terrible, thought is merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habit. Thought looks into the pit of hell and is not afraid. Thought is great and swift and free, the light of the world, and the chief glory of man" - Bertrand Russell

"Sit down before fact like a little child, and be prepared to give up every preconceived notion, follow humbly wherever and to whatever abyss Nature leads, or you shall learn nothing." - T. H. Huxley

[Porterboy]

"He who seeks the truth must doubt everything." Socrates

"In this world, you have to be called crazy for confirmation of your own sanity." David Icke

"Today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. Was it really worth it?" Mahatma Gandhi

"A wise man knows how much something is worth. A fool only knows how much it costs." Confucius

[latent aaaack]

"Quote me as saying I was misquoted." Groucho Marx

[slingblade]

A long and wicked life followed by five minutes of perfect grace gets you into Heaven. An equally long life of decent living and good works followed by one outburst of taking the name of the Lord in vain - then have a heart attack at that moment and be damned for eternity. Is that the system?
Robert A. Heinlein


I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.
Robert A. Heinlein


It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so.
Robert A. Heinlein


One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
Robert A. Heinlein


Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other "sins" are invented nonsense. (Hurting yourself is not sinful - just stupid).
Robert A. Heinlein


Theology is never any help; it is searching in a dark cellar at midnight for a black cat that isn't there. Theologians can persuade themselves of anything.
Robert A. Heinlein


When any government, or any church for that matter, undertakes to say to its subjects, This you may not read, this you must not see, this you are forbidden to know, the end result is tyranny and oppression no matter how holy the motives.
Robert A. Heinlein

Men rarely (if ever) manage to dream up a god superior to themselves. Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child.
Robert Heinlein

I’ve never understood how God could expect His creatures to pick the one true religion by faith—it strikes me as a sloppy way to run a universe.
Robert Heinlein

History does not record anywhere a religion that has any rational basis. Religion is a crutch for people not strong enough to stand up to the unknown without help.
Robert Heinlein

The most preposterous notion that H. sapiens has ever dreamed up is that the Lord God of Creation, Shaper and Ruler of all the Universes, wants the saccharine adoration of His creatures, can be swayed by their prayers, and becomes petulant if He does not receive this flattery. Yet this absurd fantasy, without a shred of evidence to bolster it, pays all the expenses of the oldest, largest, and least productive industry in all history.
Robert Heinlein

[The Atheist]

"Christianity is the worst fraud ever perpetrated on the human species." The Atheist

[Darat]

See signature.

And

"When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and asked if the god I did not believe in was the protestant God or the catholic one." - Quentin Crisp

[SezMe]

Sling, too bad you have never read any Heinlein.:)

[Beady]

"Christianity is the worst fraud ever perpetrated on the human species." The Atheist

If we're allowed to cite ourselves, I like Beady's 3rd Law of Social Harmonics: "Before you begin, pee."

I defy you to describe a situation in which it doesn't apply.

[Darat]

Peeing.

[Beady]

Peeing.

Wanna bet? Wait a few more years.

[Paul C. Anagnostopoulos]

Look no further than our own forum:

Intelligent Design has no answers. It can only make itself look palatable by making evolution look less palatable. It lives in a cardboard refrigerator box and throws rocks through the windows of evolution's unfinished mansion. ---Beleth

What does not confirm Intelligent Design is the argument "I don't know why X exists. Therefore I do know why X exists. It exists because an Intelligent Designer wanted it to". This is not science: it's refusing to do science. ---Dr. Adequate

Your constant whining that everyone who disagrees with you is a fundamentalist has worn so thin the quarks are showing. ---Ichneumonwasp

Frankly, I think I am very glad that ontology is largely a pantload. ---Mercutio


~~ Paul

[Katana]

"Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it. Do not count on them. Leave them alone." - Ayn Rand

"We can evade reality, but we cannot evade the consequences of evading reality." - Ayn Rand

"It is in our lives and not our words that our religion must be read." - Thomas Jefferson

“When facism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.” - Sinclair Lewis

"Sell crazy somewhere else. We're all stocked up here." - Melvin Udall (Jack Nicholson's character), As Good As it Gets

"Mos Eisley spaceport: You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious." - Obi-Wan, Star Wars

"I find your lack of faith disturbing." - Darth Vader, Star Wars

"Asps. Very dangerous. You go first." - Sallah, Raiders of the Lost Ark

[Beerina]

If we're allowed to cite ourselves, I like Beady's 3rd Law of Social Harmonics: "Before you begin, pee."

I defy you to describe a situation in which it doesn't apply.

1. Going to the doctor's to have a urinalysis.

2. Participating in certain excretory sexual activities, or creating pornography of same.

[Beady]

1. Going to the doctor's to have a urinalysis.

2. Participating in certain excretory sexual activities, or creating pornography of same.

Wrong again. You never heard of priming the pump?

[Hotspur]

When the missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land.
They said, “Let us pray”. We closed our eyes.
When we opened them, we had the Bible and they had the land.
-Desmond Tutu

[Roboramma]

Look no further than our own forum:

Well then, here's one I liked:

First, strip out the references to long-dead philosophers. If you can't express your idea without relying on other people's thoughts, you don't have an idea.

[Walk The Line]

"Listen, we talking about practice. Not a game, not a game, not a game. We talking about practice." - Allen Iverson

"Playoffs? Don't talk about playoffs! You kidding me? Playoffs? I just hope we can win a game." - Jim Mora

"The Bears are who we thought they were! That's why we took the d*mn field. Now if you want to crown 'em, then crown their ass. But they are who we thought they were, and we let 'em off the hook!" - Dennis Green after epic loss to the Bears on Monday Night Football.

"Michigan State is pounding Notre Dame and they took their foot off the accelerator. They mis-managed the clock, AGAIN! They didn't use their timeouts right, AGAIN! And they allowed an opponent to get into halftime and make adjustments, AGAIN!" - Mike Valenti after Michigan State's epic 2006 collapse against Notre Dame (This quote comes from the single greatest sports rant I have ever heard, which can be found here: http://cfbmedia.com/forum/index.php/topic,60679.0.html)

"Note to John L. Smith: learn the effen rules and understand that your timeouts are not like cell phone minutes! THEY DON'T CARRY OVER!" - Mike Valenti (same rant)

[Dr Adequate]

Quotations

I'm just about to update these pages, so if you wait a few hours, there'll be more of them ...

[slingblade]

Sling, too bad you have never read any Heinlein.:)

Isn't it? ;) :D

[Ladewig]

"Of all sexual aberrations, perhaps the most peculiar is chastity," Remy de Gourmont

Richard Feynman: "The first principle is that you must not fool yourself -- and you are the easiest person to fool. So you have to be very careful about that."



"If you kiss Hank's ass he'll give you a million dollars"

[Dave1001]

Since you don't stipulate whether they really were said, or just should have been said, my perrenial favorite is:

"One day I'm going to be bigger than Orson Welles." -a young Marlon Brando

[Dave1001]

“When facism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.” - Sinclair Lewis


That's a great one and very relevant.

[Foster Zygote]

"All the Dude ever wanted was his rug back."
The Dude

"Obviously you're not a golfer."
The Dude

"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."
Mark Twain

"I didn't attend the funeral. But I sent a nice note saying that I approved of it."
Mark Twain

"Every science has for its basis a system of principles as fixed and unalterable as those by which the universe is regulated and governed. Man cannot make principles; he can only discover them."
Thomas Paine

"Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories."
Arthur C. Clark

"Humanity has the stars in its future, and that future is too important to be lost under the burden of juvenile folly and ignorant superstition."
Isaac Asimov

"A central lesson of science is that to understand complex issues (or even simple ones), we must try to free our minds of dogma and to guarantee the freedom to publish, to contradict, and to experiment. Arguments from authority are unacceptable."
Carl Sagan

"For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring."
Carl Sagan

"For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love."
Carl Sagan

"Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known."
Carl Sagan

[RandFan]

"Know thyself" --Socrates

"To thine ownself be true" --Lord Polonius

[RandFan]

Well then, here's one I liked:

First, strip out the references to long-dead philosophers. If you can't express your idea without relying on other people's thoughts, you don't have an idea. Meh. It's true we often do rely too much on long-dead philosophers but I'm not for chucking them entirely.

[baron]

Wiley Brooks (Breatharian) explains why he eats food ~

"The less food you have in the body, the more air is circulated through the body, which replaces the food. Which means a Breatharian, instead of taking in 110 lbs. of air a day, is probably taking in 1,000 lbs. a day. Now in that 1,000 lbs. of air is a percentage of pollutants. So you see that for a Breatharian the air is so deadly that we have to take something not to increase energy but to decrease the sensitivity to the air. We take food as you would take a drug or a medicine -- to reduce the sensitivity."

“Jasmuheen” on getting into the Madonna Zone ~

According to our research at the Self Empowerment Academy, all war and violence comes from a deep hunger for a source of nourishment that will allow us to all feel fulfilled. I have discovered that the nourishment that we all seek, is the Madonna Frequency Field By utilizing our will, our intention, specific programming codes plus a powerful day-to-day lifestyle that keeps us tuned and in the Madonna Zone, we can unify and achieve great things. The time is now!

Sylvia Browne tells us what tigers are for ~

“Animal totems, like the tiger, come from the Other Side to protect us while we are away from home”

[dglas]

"Michigan State is pounding Notre Dame and they took their foot off the accelerator. They mis-managed the clock, AGAIN! They didn't use their timeouts right, AGAIN! And they allowed an opponent to get into halftime and make adjustments, AGAIN!" - Mike Valenti after Michigan State's epic 2006 collapse against Notre Dame (This quote comes from the single greatest sports rant I have ever heard, which can be found here: http://cfbmedia.com/forum/index.php/topic,60679.0.html)

"Note to John L. Smith: learn the effen rules and understand that your timeouts are not like cell phone minutes! THEY DON'T CARRY OVER!" - Mike Valenti (same rant)

:eye-poppi

That was amazing!

Just, Wow!

[Gord_in_Toronto]

Jean Shepherd
Just wave. Or smile. Just be yourself.

Keep your knees loose.

Okay, gang are you ready to play radio? Are you ready to shuffle off the mortal coil of mediocrity? I am if you are.

In God We Trust: All Others Pay Cash.

Excelsior, you fatheads!

Sigh. Only the Good die young. :sad:

[Elizabeth I]

"If a child is taught...that it's all right if you misspell a word occasionally, or don't always punctuate correctly, then you are teaching that child that small mistakes are okay, as long as people know pretty much what is meant. I feel this is a dangerous attitude to foster in a highly technological society, because it encourages people to think, 'Well, after all, the readout is only a little bit over into the red zone. Maybe it will return to normal while I'm trying to remember which way to adjust the control. Let's see, now, was that to the left or to the right...?'" - William Tuning, Fuzzy Bones

[The Kilted Yaksman]

If we're allowed to cite ourselves, I like Beady's 3rd Law of Social Harmonics: "Before you begin, pee."

I defy you to describe a situation in which it doesn't apply.
Performing in a German watersports fetish movie?

ETA: Darn it! That's what I get for not reading more carefully...

[Temporal Renegade]

Hey Melchie! Still worshipping God? Last time I heard, he was worshipping me!
(Lord Flashheart from Blackadder 2)
============
Sgt. Benton: What do we do now?
2nd Doctor: Keep it confused. Feed it with useless information. I wonder if I have a television set handy...
(The Three Doctors)
============
Pickles[holding uncooked lobster]: Okay, hold on now. So you're telling me that you put these little guys in boiling water and they shriek and they turn red and they die?
Clerk: Yes sir.
Pickles: That is the most metal thing I've ever heard in my whole life. High five!

Pickles The Drummer[to the chef being kept alive by a mass of tubes and machines]: By the power of all that is evil, I command you to awaken and MAKE ME A SANDWICH!
(Metalocslypse, "the Curse Of Dethklok")
============
Dr. Venture: Why is it every time I need to get somewhere, we get waylaid by jackassery?
( The Venture Bros.)
============
Father Ted: I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do. Whereas priests...
...More drink!

Father Dougal: God, I've heard about those cults Ted. People dressing up in black and saying Our Lord's going to come back and save us all.
Father Ted: No, Dougal, that's us. That's Catholicism.
Dougal: Oh right.

Father Dougal: Sorry Ted. I was concentrating too hard on looking holy.
(Father Ted)

[Boo]

I think it's better to have ideas. You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier. RufusDogma





Boo

[slingblade]

I love Father Ted. I'm so sorry he's gone.

[skullerello]

"When the going gets wierd. the wierd turn pro"
-Hunter S. Thompson

"The best way to avoid responsibility is to say, 'I've got responsibilities.' "
-Richard Bach

"The road to Hell is paved with good intentions... and littered with crumpled pages of letters I always meant to write."
-I, The Procrastinator

[Temporal Renegade]

I love Father Ted. I'm so sorry he's gone.

I know. :(
Rather ironic, don't you think, that he died just after the series ended?

[l0rca]

I know. :(
Rather ironic, don't you think, that he died just after the series ended?

How is this ironic?

[MickinEngland]

SPOCK - "I'm not sure where I am Captain"
KIRK - "You're a disembodied brain in a box"
SPOCK - "Fascinating"..
-------------------------------------------

"If you can't annoy somebody, there is little point in writing" - Sir Kingsley Amis

---------------------------------------------

"If you hang with losers, you become a loser" - Donald Trump

------------------------------------------------

"If there's anything worse than being talked about, it's not being talked about" - Oscar Wilde

-----------------------------------------------

STEVE McQUEEN in 'The War Lover' - "I thought about becoming a priest once"
PRIEST - "Oh, you considered taking holy orders my son?"
McQUEEN - "I dunno about taking no orders but I wouldn't have minded being a priest"

---------------------------------------------

"Well that's our glitch for the mission over" - Astronaut Lovell referring to slightly premature (but non-serious) shutdown of an engine after liftoff in Apollo 13

---------------------------------------------

[I less than three logic]

In the first place, divest yourself of all bias in favor of novelty & singularity of opinion. Indulge them in any other subject rather than that of religion. It is too important, and the consequences of error may be too serious. On the other hand, shake off all the fears & servile prejudices, under which weak minds are servilely crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call to her tribunal every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a god; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear. - Thomas Jefferson

[qayak]

"There are two ways of spreading light: To be the candle or the mirror that reflects it." (Edith Wharton)

"Et des boyoux du dernier pretre
Serrons le cou du dernier roi."
And with the bowels of the last priest let us strangle the last king.
(Denis Diderot 1713-1784) :D

[Zygar]

How is this ironic?

The same way as rain on your wedding day.

[Modified]

"Today's the day."
- Mel Fisher

[qayak]

"It is time that science, having destroyed the religious basis for morality, accept the obligation to provide a new and rational basis for human behaviour--a code of ethics concerned with man's needs on Earth, not his rewards in heaven." (Bernard More Oliver)

[AgingYoung]

'ed elli avea del cul fatto trombetta.'
...Dante

[bobcarp]

"To say my God doesn't exist, you must have absolute knowledge of the entire universe. But as for the god the other guy believes in, well.... I just know he doesn't exist."

[Temporal Renegade]

The same way as rain on your wedding day. Exactly. Although, I'll admit, maybe 'ironic' wasn't really the best way to describe it...

[l0rca]

You probably already knew this, but Zygar was alluding to her song in that it is widely recognized that the only thing ironic about her song, is that she would make a song titled "ironic" that doesn't any anecdotes involving irony at all.

The definition of irony doesn't have several degrees of valid irony-ness to it. Something either fits the definition of irony or it does not. In this case, it does not.

See also: http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=13660

[bruto]

A few from those collected over the years:

"Skepticism is the chastity of the intellect, and it is shameful to surrender it too soon or to the first comer." (George Santayana)

"When you come to the end of your life, make sure that you are used up." (attributed to Turgenev)

"It is the final proof of God's omnimipotence that he need not exist in order to save us." (Peter de Vries)

"Interpretation is the revenge of the intellect upon art." (Susan Sontag)

"It's a fatal thing to take literature and art too seriously if you lack judgment." (Richard Aldington)

"The average man, who does not know what to do with his life, wants another one which lasts forever." (Anatole France)

"Pride is a good chest protector but a bad bicycle." (Joyce Cary as Gully Jimson)

"In the fight between you and the world, back the world." (Kafka)

"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before. He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way." (Kurt Vonnegut as Bokonon)

"It is probably all right to try to be anything you cannot be, when you find that you cannot be everything that you are." (Walt Kelly)

"Virtue is to be feared more than vice, because its excesses are not subject to the regulations of conscience." (Albert Jay Nock)

"If you see a blind man, kick him - why should you be kinder than God?" (Arabic proverb)

[Temporal Renegade]

You probably already knew this, but Zygar was alluding to her song in that it is widely recognized that the only thing ironic about her song, is that she would make a song titled "ironic" that doesn't any anecdotes involving irony at all.

The definition of irony doesn't have several degrees of valid irony-ness to it. Something either fits the definition of irony or it does not. In this case, it does not.

See also: http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=13660

To quote from Airplane 2:

"I guess irony can be pretty ironic sometimes..." :D

[qayak]

In the beginning was the word and by mutation came the gene.

WORD
WORE
GORE
GONE
GENE

(Michael A. Arbib)