The Secret Life of Jesus oh no

[FarSideOfTheMoon]

Tonight on Channel 4.

I've only watched the first 10 minutes, but this is going to be a corker.

Suspicions fist aroused when the presenter is described as la eading theologian (Robert Beckford). I can't help it, but immediately that makes me think of someone who isn't great with evidence and likes to believe in nonsense.

The basis premise looks like it will be Jesus had a family, Mary Magdalene wasn't his wife, was just a friend, but was a great person anyway. So really a kind of low budget Da Vinci code then.

His first interview is with a nun with a pretty gruesome mustache. There is an order of 31 nuns just outside Jurusalem who have devoted their lives to Mary Magdalene. This particular nun thinks if everyone lived their life in honour of Mary Magdalene then the world would be a better place. Not sure how she knows what Mary was really like, although she thinks she was bold, energetic, modest, feminine, strong, etc etc

Then Robert says he 'thinks' that the authors of the bible left out some parts of the story relating to the family of Jesus Christ as they were a bit sexist - I'm not sure if he is actually going to find any evidence for this in the rest of the programme, but we'll see.

Next the nun takes him inside. After a quick discussion about demons she shows him the crown jewels - bits of Mary Magdelene's arm in a box.

'Wow, that's heavy' says Robert. Yes,:rolleyes:

I'm going to try to persevere with this one I think....there is sod all else on the telly tonight.

[cj.23]

Weak... very weak

Shocking Revelations

*Mary Magdalene was a good friend of Jesus - like it says in the Bible.
*Jesus had a family - like it says in the Bible. Never mentioned later Roman records, at least not the one i knew from Eusebius.
* James his brother was first head of the Church - like it says in the Bible. Never mentioned Hegesippus or half the interesting stuff about James.
*Then there was a suggestion that the Jerusalem church did not believe Jesus was the Son of God, which was rather curious, and doubtless linked to the theory they were Ebionites - a word never mentioned. Sadly this hypothesis was never supported anywhere by any evidence i saw?

Finally, the high point seemed to be the revelation of an ancient Early Christian book which apparently contained the secret teaching of Jesus - the Didache. this book was so rare it had never been filmed before, and its contents were briefly looked at in awed tones...

Like this link, I posted here a few days ago, to the e-text of a book I read as an undergraduate in class in 1987? Shocking stuff!!!

www.earlychristianwritings.com/didache.html

The idea it is linked to the Jerusalem Church still fundamentally Jewish and meeting in the Synagogue does seem to suffer from lines like

"Nor must Christians pray with their Judaic brethren, instead they shall say the Lord's Prayer (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lord%27s_Prayer) three times a day."
- wikipedia


Nice try, good show, but fundamentally nothing new at all, presented in breathless over the top style, with curious factual errors and omissions that in places had me falling off my chair laughing.

Verdict : Of possible interest to those with no knowledge of the historical Jesus literature, 2/10, must try harder.

[FarSideOfTheMoon]

I've not had time to watch the full programme yet, but I couldn't believe when he was in the Church of the Holy Sepulchre and he got shown into a room which contained the hand of Mary Magdalene.

He wasn't so convinced this time, so he asked the priest (think old guy with a white beard:rolleyes: ) how they could be sure it was actually her hand. The priest pointed to a plague on the wall which said 'Mary Magdalene's hand'.

'Wow' said the illustrious theologian.

Really pitiful.

[qayak]

I've not had time to watch the full programme yet, but I couldn't believe when he was in the Church of the Holy Sepulchre and he got shown into a room which contained the hand of Mary Magdalene.

He wasn't so convinced this time, so he asked the priest (think old guy with a white beard:rolleyes: ) how they could be sure it was actually her hand. The priest pointed to a plague on the wall which said 'Mary Magdalene's hand'.

'Wow' said the illustrious theologian.

Really pitiful.

All they needed to do was look in the hand and see if Jesus' foreskin was there! That would prove it was Mary's. :D

[FarSideOfTheMoon]

Yes, the holy prepuce...

According to Wikipedia:

The Holy Prepuce, or Holy Foreskin (Latin præputium or prepucium) is one of several relics attributed to Jesus. At various points in history, a number of churches in Europe have claimed to possess it, sometimes at the same time. Various miraculous powers have been ascribed to it.

and

"Depending on what you read, there were eight, twelve, fourteen, or even 18 different holy foreskins in various European towns during the Middle Ages

You couldn't make it up....:p

[MickinEngland]

Hey Hollywood should do a film about it, the script might go like this -

JESUS - "I'm leaving now to save the world"

MARY MAGDALENE - "Don't talk rot, who do you think you are?
And for heavens sake don't let the neighbours know you read the Bible or they'll be calling you 'Holy Joe at number 19"
And get your teeth fixed,your mouth looks like something out of the X-files
Dress properly,a baseball cap,jeans, trainers and t-shirt look ridiculous on a man your age
Hmm...that grass needs mowing..
And do something about your moustache,it looks like you've got a lavatory brush stuck under your nose
Huh! Better get down the doctors first thing tomorrow for some viagra
I know I should have married Rick Tannahill but Sue Stokes beat me to him and I ended up with you
That dustbin needs putting out..
And we could do with a new kitchen unit..
Spruce yourself up, mother'll be here soon and you know she hates you because you won't get a job"