Got nature problems? SOUTHERN SPIRITUALIST can help!

[JonnyFive]

I have to wonder why, in a bustling modern metropolis like New York City, there's still so much of a market for USDA Prime Woo.

Take, for example, the little flyer I found recently in the NYC subway. It's for a woman named "Teresa". Take a look at the first bit of it (formatting is as it appears on the flyer):



Readings
by TERESA

AND SHE SAYS

DON'T GIVE UP!

GUARANTEED RESULTS IN 24 HOURS

THIS SOUTHERN BORN Spiritualist who brings TO YOU the solutions to the mysteries of the DEEP SOUTH, seeks to help many thousands of people who have been CROSSED, HAVE SPELLS, CAN'T HOLD MONEY, WANT LUCK, WANT THEIR LOVES ONES BACK, WANT TO STOP NATURE PROBLEMS or WANT TO GET RID OF STRANGE SICKNESS.



That's right. She then goes on to talk about how she can cure illness through the "doctor of all doctors", who happens to be God. Satisfaction is "DOUBLY GUARANTEED".

She's kind of vague about what she actually does, other than apparently fixing all your problems.

Also, she writes her name as TERESA, complete with the one size larger text and all-caps formatting. She also ends the flyer text with seven exclamation marks, so you know it's gotta be good!!!!!!!

Personally, I'd like to know what a "nature problem" is. I would imagine not even being able to hold money would also be a serious issue. Perhaps one could hire a friend to hold it for them?

[ponderingturtle]

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.
-- Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

[Miss Whiplash]

That's a hoodoo woman, honey. :D Lost nature means "erectile dysfunction."

She'll fix your problems with a mojo bag and candles.

EDIT: Hoodoo women and root doctors are still very commonly used by black people in the South. Think of the things sold in a botanica. It's the same thing.

[JonnyFive]

That's a hoodoo woman, honey. :D Lost nature means "erectile dysfunction."

She'll fix your problems with a mojo bag and candles.

I sort of figured when I saw the phrase "mysteries of the deep south". It's still wackier than a barrel of epileptic monkeys.

So that's what a "nature problem" is, eh?

[Miss Whiplash]

I sort of figured when I saw the phrase "mysteries of the deep south". It's still wackier than a barrel of epileptic monkeys.

So that's what a "nature problem" is, eh?

Yep. There was an old disco song in the late 70's that went, "Catfish sets me on fire / She makes my nature rise." For men lost nature is erectile dysfunction, for women, lost sex drive. When you go to a "spiritual adviser" you'll wind up paying $$$ for her to tell you that you have been "crossed" (jinxed, a spell cast) by an "enemy". Then you will pay more $$$ for items like these (http://www.luckymojo.com/catalogue.html) to remove the "crossed condition."

I've studied this folklore and actually acquired quite a collection of items over the years. I used to run a folklore website and displayed them all there. It was a lot of fun! :)

[JonnyFive]

I've studied this folklore and actually acquired quite a collection of items over the years. I used to run a folklore website and displayed them all there. It was a lot of fun! :)

This is why I love this board, I learn stuff every day on it. :)

I knew a girl in high school who was convinced that voodoo was dangerous and not to be toyed with. It was pretty silly.

[Miss Whiplash]

This is why I love this board, I learn stuff every day on it. :)

I knew a girl in high school who was convinced that voodoo was dangerous and not to be toyed with. It was pretty silly.

I once worked at a hospital with very silly people. One of us took a mass produced voodoo doll to work for part of Halloween and three people ran out of the lab. They would not come back until we locked the thing up. That was very dumb!

[JonnyFive]

One of us took a mass produced voodoo doll to work for part of Halloween and three people ran out of the lab. They would not come back until we locked the thing up. That was very dumb!

:eye-poppi

Words... fail...

[Cuddles]

I once worked at a hospital with very silly people. One of us took a mass produced voodoo doll to work for part of Halloween and three people ran out of the lab. They would not come back until we locked the thing up. That was very dumb!

Surely you at least stuck some needles in it and then spent the rest of the day giving them sidelong glances and chuckling quietly?

[fuelair]

I once worked at a hospital with very silly people. One of us took a mass produced voodoo doll to work for part of Halloween and three people ran out of the lab. They would not come back until we locked the thing up. That was very dumb!
Since the doll could only represent one of them, why were all three afraid? And couldn't the attached material tell them which it was? (I understood you to mean there was no attached material - if that was the case, even a believer should have no fear of the doll. And the mere presence of or hiding of the doll should not affect its' efficacy (which would be - NONE). Ah well , so many perils come with belief.:) :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :jaw-dropp

[ponderingturtle]

Since the doll could only represent one of them, why were all three afraid? And couldn't the attached material tell them which it was? (I understood you to mean there was no attached material - if that was the case, even a believer should have no fear of the doll. And the mere presence of or hiding of the doll should not affect its' efficacy (which would be - NONE). Ah well , so many perils come with belief.:) :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :jaw-dropp

Never underestimate the power of someone who believes in something but does not know anything about it.

Hmm do the Randi dolls have a real randi possession in them? Or does that mean that the pin experiment is flawed?

[Miss Whiplash]

Since the doll could only represent one of them, why were all three afraid? And couldn't the attached material tell them which it was? (I understood you to mean there was no attached material - if that was the case, even a believer should have no fear of the doll. And the mere presence of or hiding of the doll should not affect its' efficacy (which would be - NONE). Ah well , so many perils come with belief.:) :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :jaw-dropp

As they were originally from places were Santeria is practiced, I guess they looked at it as an "evil" object. Who knows? :rolleyes:

[fuelair]

Going to a witch woman would be against my nature.

[JonnyFive]

Going to a witch woman would be against my nature.

What if she's really attractive?

[fuelair]

What if she's really attractive?Under correct circumstances, I guess she would be against my nature.:rolleyes: :rolleyes: